The Pan Galactic Blogger Blaster

2012-01-29T17:09:00.000-08:00

Proving the Theory.

A while back Howard Stern had a show where he hooked some pornstar up to a spanking machine and it beat the crap out of her on air. I don't see how this turns anyone on... but I can assure you it was amusing... in a trainwreck sort of way. Anyway... the thing was called the Robospanker. I was convinced that civilization had not sunk to these depths so I actually followed a link to see if it was in fact a real device for sale... and... it is. No seriously. It is.

Now... nothing beats trainwreck internet... so when I saw there was actually a review section... I knew I had struck gold... but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it would be this good.

Thank you.. Paul from Nashville... for this glorious review of the Robospanker... and for proving what we all already knew...

By Paul, from Nashville
I just got my new robospanker & bench, today. It wonderful. I have not been
spanked like this in a very long time. I had two of the best paddlings I've in
years. I was very close to tears on my second spanking. I also got the
bench, w. mine 7 cant wait to rty it out. It should be just like going over-
the-knee.:: My try-out spankings were bare bottomed & all the rest shall be,
as well. My intent to to work my tolerance up to maximum, on both speed
& intensity. I want to get on my bench, hit the ON button, & let the tears
flow.::THANK YOU once again for the robospanker. It is the MOST
wonderful thing I have EVER owned...next to my Harley.

Just in case you think I am jerking your chain... here is the link to the testimonials. check for yourself.

Please remember this post the next time you see some fag on a Harley dressed up like a pirate trying to act like a badass. Its probably just Paul... hoping if he pisses you off you'll take him over your knee and give him what he so desperately desires.

2012-01-20T18:02:00.000-08:00

ATF Returns

A: Dos Equis Bueano Noche

T: Cavandish and a scrimshaw. beat that.

F: custom 1911 I built with my own hands. Ok my brothers helped to.

How about some tunes to?

Hell yeah. Feelin' better now? I sure as hell am. So lets talk about the manly arts and Christmas gifts. I mean when you can combine taxidermy and Christmas things have to be goin' your way right? Which brings me to my brother's christmas gifts. They got honest to God authenti-genuine Bull Organ walkin' sticks. Yep. Re-read that if you to. Walkin' sticks made out of preserved bull dicks. Hell yeah!

Both asserted that these were among the finest gifts they have ever been given.

How about it boys? What ya drinkin? What ya smokin? What ya fondlin'? What ya listen to? What's the most badass christmas prize you've been given?

2011-10-05T13:19:00.000-07:00

You need to see this. No really. You do. Bonus points if you can name all the songs they start quoting in the last couple segments.

2011-09-09T17:22:00.000-07:00

ATF: The 9/11 Anniversary Edition

Tonight I remember 9/11. I remember it for one reason and one reason alone. I remember it because it was a day that changed everything. The new normal. It effected each and every one of us. It changed how we see the world... it changed right and wrong. It changed work and home. I will never forget the reason I commemorate 9-11. I hold the day dear... like so many other days of great historical significance... because on September Eleventh...

Paul "Bear" Bryant was born.

What you were thinking I was talking about something else? Yeah... Right...

A: Makers Mark... and Jacob's Creek Merlot. I note a new screw top on it. I am well pleased.

T: I'm in a rut here boys. Same Ghurkas.

F: Taurus Tracker .357 mag. They say the seventh shot is for evil.

2011-08-31T17:44:00.000-07:00

Awfully good to hear music about shooting government employees.

2011-08-26T18:09:00.000-07:00

ATF

So here we go again eh?

I can't blog long... which I suppose is obvious... because I'm getting ready for Vox's fantasy football draft tomorrow... still... there are things to cover.

Such as...

A: Funf Reisling. I know I know. But I don't hide my wine nerd characteristics. I love wine. All of it. And this stuff is excellent. Yes... it comes with a screw on top. Which, people who actually know wine, know means it doesn't turn to vinegar because a cork failed. I highly recommend it. Its a little sweet but not offensive. Apples and Nectarines... all citrus and wood. The finish lasts forever. I swear you could sip a glass for an hour and never lose the taste completely. Glorious.

T: I mentioned those Gurkas. It doesn't take a psychic to predict what I'll be lighting later.

F: I saw this today... and I knew I had my ATF post down. A 3D Zombie Target that bleeds when you shoot it. Well butter my ass and call me a biscuit. I am impressed.

2011-08-19T19:21:00.000-07:00

Time for an ATF post eh boys?

Indeed. On with it then.

A: A is for AmberBock. At least tonight it is. I would be imbibing with something a little stouter I suppose but I'm on my own with the boys.

T: Pipesmoke boys... Pipe smoke. Cavendish of some sort... I have no idea. I do love a fine pipe though. The ritual of the thing... the packing and mucking about. The fuss of it is extremely relaxing.

F: Shot my neighbor's dog today for attacking my peafowl and chickens. After the first attack... my neighbor drove up to my place... in nothing but boxers mind you... and said, "I saw that fucking dog of mine chasin' ya birds. Here's my pistol. You shoot that mother fucker if he does it again." I smiled and declined... I pointed out that I had plenty of pistols of my own but I appreciated that he understood. A while later the dog was over there again and nearly killed a chicken. .357 went bang. My neighbor offered me a beer and said, "Motherfucker had it comin'." Welcome to the rural south.

2011-08-12T16:45:00.000-07:00

ATF

How about some tunes for the occasion?

Yeah... That will do. So one with it then.

A)Modelo Especial to start... but I have some Makers 46 that is calling my name. If you haven't tried it yet... you're simply a philistine. Get thee hence!!!

T) For fathers day I was given a rather spectacular gift... a Ghurka Spec Ops special edition gift set. It came with a bunch of special edition Ghurka cigars... in a pelican case... along with a cool khukuri and thigh sheath. It even came with a sweet commemorative coin. The add-ons are sweet... but its all about the cigars... and they are amazing. After smoking one... you will wonder why marijuana is illegal and these aren't.

F) Lets start with my unborn daughter's namesake. I give you... the CZ 2075 Rami. This little sweetheart will no doubt become her mother's preferred carry piece... in .40 of course. Not the decocker and the ability to carry it cocked and locked. The weapon is ridiculously accurate... you know that.. because it says, "CZ" right there on the slide.

2011-08-08T05:53:00.000-07:00

Time Management

Its 5:30am in Greenville, SC. You need to get to south Alabama as fast as possible. Today we compare riding with flying.

The flight option:

Leaving after 6:00am.. the earliest arrivals in Mobile get there at 10:40. If you only have carry on luggage... you then can find a car... The airport is still another hour away from the destination. Figure 10 minutes to get to your car.

Best Case Arrival Time: 11:50am

The Rapid Transit Authority Option:

At 6:00am you throw a leg over the big BMW RT and roll out. You stop to eat when you're hungry... you stop for gas three times... And you arrive happy and hungry.

Real World Arrival Time: 11:35am.

Total cost for the flight: 286 dollars plus a bonus TSA rape.

Total cost of the ride: 25 bucks in gas... 8 bucks in food.

I have decided to adopt that name for JAC and I...

we are.. The Rapid Transit Authority.

2011-06-27T04:57:00.000-07:00

Perspective

So last year I was researching off shore banking, and lets face it, if you have not researched off shore banking yet then you have your head in the sand. It was an extremely frustrating process as I came to realize that in the international banking world I am largely pariah. Why? Because I am an american.

See when international banks deal with americans, they are inviting the american government to have a look at them as well... and for most apparently its just not worth it.

One particular incident with a small canton bank in Switzerland stuck out. I was talking to a banker there and he simply said they could not help me because I am american, and they had no interest in my government's paranoid control issues.

Off the cuff I remarked, "Wow... so we've become the Soviet Union eh?"

He chuckled and said, "No. We dealt with them."

2011-04-12T06:22:00.000-07:00

On the 150th Anniversary...

Edmund Ruffin's Final Words. Ruffin fired the first shot on Sumpter... and killed himself after writing these words.

I here declare my unmitigated hatred to Yankee rule—to all political, social and business connection with the Yankees and to the Yankee race. Would that I could impress these sentiments, in their full force, on every living Southerner and bequeath them to every one yet to be born! May such sentiments be held universally in the outraged and down-trodden South, though in silence and stillness, until the now far-distant day shall arrive for just retribution for Yankee usurpation, oppression and atrocious outrages, and for deliverance and vengeance for the now ruined, subjugated and enslaved Southern States!

...And now with my latest writing and utterance, and with what will be near my latest breath, I here repeat and would willingly proclaim my unmitigated hatred to yankee rule--to all political, social and business connections with Yankees, and the perfidious, malignant and vile Yankee race.

2011-03-23T07:47:00.000-07:00

Bad Joke Wednesday

Let's start with my boy Eli's favorite joke.

What's a whale's favorite game?

Swallow the leader.

Why is bra singular but panties is plural?

What do you get when you cross the atlantic ocean with the Titanic?

Halfway.

Did you hear about the cannibal that got expelled?

He was buttering up his teacher.

Man walks into a bar looking forlorn. Bartender asks him, "You've been walking on air for weeks mate, what's wrong?" The man says... "My wife an I had a fight and she kicked me out for a month. Months up today."

Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Hey.. My name's Pavlov. Ring a bell?

Why does a moon rock taste better than an earth rock?

Its a little meteor.

Bert asked Earnie if he wanted some ice cream. Earnie said, "sure, Bert."

Why do bicycles fall over?

Because they're two-tired.

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

Same middle name.

2011-03-15T06:18:00.000-07:00

Solar Power, Sort Of

Lets put the solar problem for example... in perspective.

The US uses 29PWh per year in energy. That doesn't sound like much until you realize that a PWh is 1 quadrillion (that's a 1 with 15 zeros behind it) watts. 29 of THOSE. That's a lot. Right?

Now... it take About 4.5 acres to make 1 mega watt.... which is 1 million watts. (that comes from a tree hugger pro-solar site, so with the standard fudge factor its probably twice that much but for the sake of argument will pretend they aren't fibbing.)

Ok.. so there are 2.3 billion acres of land in the US (I did not survey it myself. I googled it. Its a big number and I expected a big number so I went with it.). So if we were to wipe out the entire USA... clear cut the whole thing... and assume that all of it will produce electricity at the best possible rate.... A little division tells us that's 511,111,111 mega watts. In reality that number is WAY over estimated but again... we'll go with it.

I see your eyes glazing over.... you're seeing BIG number and another BIG number but the perspective is hard. So let me spare you the trouble of pulling out your old scientific calculator... and point out that if we wiped out the whole US... and covered it with the most advanced solar power plants we wouldn't even make .0000058% of the power we currently consume.

That... is how utter pathetic and useless solar power is.

But look... do you really understand how small that is?

One more bit of perspective for you... imagine owing a hospital 1 million dollars. Its do now. Right now. And you have $58 bucks in your checking account.

I did all this on my own... mostly in my head... so please feel free to check the math. I will include any corrections that need to be made here. Regardless... you'll see that solar is simply pathetic.

TC Bank- Dream Rangers

2011-03-14T17:36:00.000-07:00

Ride dammit.

Ride.

Flying Car - Maverick 2

2011-03-12T18:41:00.000-08:00

You ask... where is my flying car?

Here is your flying car. And yes... it is a real company and it received FAA permission to begin production just a few months ago. Want to know more?

2011-03-11T11:06:00.001-08:00

Paper Does Not Beat Rock

2011-03-10T13:28:00.000-08:00

Heads Up

There will be an ATF post this friday. You have been duly notified. Booze... Guns... Smoke. Can't beat it. We will be talking Semi-Auto Sub guns, close combat rifles... and some of the new firearms that have come out like the new Raging Judge.

Bring your bourbon and smokes.

2011-03-09T11:55:00.000-08:00

How long till its weaponized?

So I'm mucking about the internets... minding my own business.. and what do I see?? This.

Bloody. Hell.

We have a fungus... that turns ants into zombies. Are you listening people? How long do you think it will be before this crap is weaponized and ready for use on humans? Years? Months? Hell it probably already is.

That's it... Zombie Preparedness... that's the next big startup. We need Zombie Preparedness camps... corporate retreats... everything.

TSHTF boys. Its a matter of time before some psycho rag head lets this crap loose in the name of Allah... or... the US government itself doses the whole country from the sky to save money on public schooling.

2011-03-09T09:43:00.001-08:00

Bad Joke Wednesday

I know its been forever... but why not?

Begin!

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that patrolled the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm bored and frustrated at being a prawn, I wish I were a shark, then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten..." Just then a mysterious cod appeared and said, "Your wish is granted!" and, lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.

Time went on (as it invariably does...) and Justin found himself becoming bored and lonely as a shark. All his old friends simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin realised that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While out swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and couldn't believe his luck - he figured the fish could change him back into a prawn. He begged the cod to change him back, so - lo and behold - he became a prawn again.

With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail. (The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail - it's worse.)

Looking around the gathering at the reef, he searched for his old pal but he wasn't there. "Where's Christian?" he asked.

"He's at home, distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark," came the reply.

Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's house. As he opened the coral gate the memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, "It's me, Justin - your old friend! Come out and see me again!"

Christian replied "No way man, you'll eat me. You're a shark, the enemy and I'll not be tricked."

Justin cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed!"

...."I've found Cod, I'm a prawn again, Christian!"

Some years ago, the famous San Diego Zoo opened a second, larger branch called the San Diego Wild Animal Park. The park is built around an enormous open-field enclosure where the animals roam free. To see the animals, visitors ride on a monorail called the Wgasa Bush Line which circles the enclosure. Here's the true story of how the Wgasa Bush Line got its name.

They wanted to give the monorail a jazzy, African sounding name. So they sent out a memo to a bunch of zoo staffers saying, "What shall we call the monorail at the Wild Animal Park?" One of the memos came back with "WGASA" written on the bottom. The planners loved it and the rest is history. What the planners didn't know was that the zoo staffer had not intended to suggest a name. He was using an acronym which was popular at the time. It stood for "Who Gives A Shit Anyhow?"

I heard that the nursing home down the block is experimentally using Viagra to keep the male clients from falling out of bed.

A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender "I'd like a.................beer".
The bartender looks at him and says "sure bud, but what's with the big paws?"

Did you happen to hear about Cyclops closing his school? It seems he only had one pupil.

What do you call it when a group of psychologists go swimming naked?
A Freudian dip.

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom

How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it!

After the earthquake one mountain says to the other mountain, "Hey, it's not my fault!"

What kind of beer do vampires drink?
Blood Light

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the washroom?
Because the pee is silent.

2010-12-08T07:35:00.000-08:00

The Coming Doom

So.. you think housing prices have bottomed out? Not even close. Look... and despair.

So what are we looking at? The 100 line is is the 100 year average, inflation adjusted. So its the same house... tracking the price over time.

Now note the spike in the 1890s and the dip following it. Now look at the spike starting in 1998. We must conclude that not only will the price drop down to the 100 line. We must conclude it will drop far far below it... in proportionality to the spike.

Now... I believe we will see another spike before the big dip... but the dip will still come. So if you're buying right now... my advice is simple.

Find out what the peak value of the property was over the last 10 years... and pay no more than half of it. Ideally.. you should pay a third of it.

2010-10-07T06:42:00.000-07:00

The End of Awareness

Since when did talking about a problem make it go away? Call me crazy... but don't problems require solutions? Don't they require actual action? Being aware of an existence of a problem doesn't do a damned bit of good if no action is taken to remedy it. So bearing all this in mind... will someone please tell me why I should give a damn about these pink ribbons?

Every year we're bombarded with pink... all through October.

The cynic in me would like to point out that these folks falling all over themselves to parade around in pink are simply looking to cash in by bragging about how sympathetic they are.

Look! I'm a good person! My blog has pink letters this month! Or not...

And consider this article... Now its not enough that Breast Cancer Awareness penetrates every aspect of our lives for a whole damned month... now women have the nerve to feel slighted by its varying forms.

Note this quote from the article:

"But at some point, it seems even worse to use the cover of breast-cancer awareness to make flirtatious, joking statements on Facebook. And why is it only a women’s health issue that seems to come in for this sort of treatment? Have there been any such memes for prostate cancer?"

No. There have been no such memes for prostate cancer... because no one talks about prostate cancer. NFL teams don't wear blue shoes and gloves to promote Prostate Cancer Awareness. Blue ribbons are not plastered all over the world... and special Prostate Edition products do not line the shelves of retailers.

Here is a thought... how about we stop talking about Breast Cancer... and start curing it. How about we stop pretending we're doing something... and actually get something done.

And how about we do it all... a lot more quietly.

Thanks.

2010-10-04T09:40:00.001-07:00

Soon to Be Viral

A little background.... An acquaintance of mine... Tim... had a conflict with a teacher over his grade. Apparently the woman was so poor at math she couldn't consistently apply her own grading system. Tim repeatedly demonstrated this to her... and eventually had to go to the

school principle to get satisfaction.

The teacher the sent him this letter.

For the record... Tim still has the letter. This is 100% true.

2010-10-01T16:41:00.000-07:00

ATF: Edition 37

Ok... I know what you're thinkin'... there have been a lot more than 36 of these posts.... and you're right.

I turned 37 today.

Now for some reason or another birthdays have always been days that I spend taken stock of things. Where am I? Am I who am want to be?

Oh I know... most men have their mid-life crisis in their 40s... but I don't afford myself that indulgence. A mid-life crisis is something that happens when a man wakes up and realizes he didn't spend his life the way he wanted... or should have. Its the product of unpreparedness. Its what happens when a man has neglected his responsibility to deliberately choose his path.

I can look around and take account of things... and know that this is the path I chose.

So tonight... I'll smoke a cigar my brother gave me a long while back... a Kentucky Gentleman.... hand rolled by an old man that lives up the road from Lexington. I'll sip a little 46... Its a life most everyone would love to have... so I will appreciate it.

I live with my family. I raise, and teach, my kids. I haven't had a job in almost 10 years.

I have no idea where this road I am on leads... but I know I chose the road... even if I am thankful to He who lead me to choose it.

I won't be around to comment much... but I would appreciate it if you'd drink with me tonight. Light a cigar. Sip some fine bourbon. Consider it a favor to an old man.

2010-09-03T14:14:00.000-07:00

Recycling is the Opiate of the Masses

That's all. I thought it up... and I wanted to say it in big letters.

Now someone make me a t-shirt.

2010-08-13T20:31:00.000-07:00

ATF

A: Makers Mark 46. Yes. I'm obsessed. Try it. Trust me.

T: Twist. If you know what it is.. you know. If you don't... you don't. this particular one soaks in bourbon in a zip lock bag. Notice a theme here?

F: Ruger Vaquero... .44mag. Sometimes a big shiney gunslinger rig just feels right.

Raise your hand if you own a single six. Anyone? My vaquero is in the same caliber as a winchester model 94.. so I am pretty set for cowboy action shooting if I were to ever take it up... but its not my thing. Round these parts though.. they make great deer and boar gun because the brush is so damned thick. Never seen pines this tight.

So lets have it boys.. who has cowboy guns?

2010-08-12T07:33:00.000-07:00

Objects of Need and Desire

and low... the quest for the right tractor begins.

Now I would love to pretend I know everything about tractors. Sadly.. i would truly be pretending. Truth is I don't own any kind of tract or at all... nor have I ever. I have driven a few and used a loader some.. but not much. The tractor experience in my immediate clan is limited to JAC's abused, and over worked, and much beloved Farm All.

Its cute enough but there is just no way something like it would serve my purposes... which involve actually using a tractor... as opposed to merely working on one. For this reason Green tractors are nearing the bottom of the list.

The top of the list?

I give you.. the Kubota L4400. 44hp 4wd... 36 pto hp... and pure unadulterated sexy. Admit it girls... this is hot.

One could argue that 'Bota has taken over the american compact tractor market. Ya see more orange than green these days... and since the american made tractor is all but extinct (yes.. all JD tractors below 100 hp are manufactured else where) ya can't really wave the flag and shout buy american. Ain't no american to buy. The 'Bota ain't perfect. There is a tractor out there that has its number in a couple categories... including price.

The Bobcat CT440. Pretty ain't she? Oh its true... the kubota has a superior dealer network.. and made in japan is better than made in korea... but the Bobcat's loader is faster and lifts more weight than the 'bota. The Bobcat is also faster in forward.. while the 'bota is faster in reverse. Bobcat doesn't even make 2wd tractors... and all of their tractors are hydrostatic.

In truth I will almost certainly end up with one Kubota or another... but props to Bobcat for making it interesting.

2010-08-06T20:35:00.000-07:00

Deep Fried Burger

Only in the South would someone cover an entire cheeseburger in beer batter and deep fat fry it. Yes.. they had cut the fries every day... and yes... there are cute waitress that bring you beers... and sweet tea.

No atf tonight... because... well damn... look at that thing. I still have the buzz from eating it. Ok.. a few landsharks... so I'm not totally honest. Sue me.

2010-07-17T20:01:00.000-07:00

Makers Mark 46

For the last 52 years... Makers Mark has had exactly 1 product. By contrast... Jim Beam has a whole catalog of fine small batch bourbons that prove they actually do know how to make good bourbon... but continue to produce crap in large quantity out of sheer spite.

Several years ago... Bill Samuels decided it was time to offer something new. He was particular though... he didn't want to just... leave something in the barrel longer... or change the amount of water added... That's fine for everyone else... but it doesn't advance the state of the art.

So they started the process by taking the Makers Mark finished product... and deciding how they wanted this new batch to be different.

After much stress and experimentation... They settled on a method. They would take some of their standard Makers... that was almost ready for bottling... then rebarrel in... placing charred oak staves in the barrels with it.

Bill describes the result as a cousin to Makers.

Me?

Its more complex... and the flavors that you love in Makers... the caramel and vanilla... they are brighter in 46. There is a spiciness here to that's not found in the original.

The verdict?

This is damned good bourbon. Damned good.

2010-06-29T11:53:00.000-07:00

Well Its about Damned Time

Finally! Finally we get our flying cars.

"The two-seater Transition can use its front-wheel drive on roads at ordinary highway speeds, with wings folded, at a respectable 30 miles per gallon. Once it has arrived at a suitable take-off spot - an airport, or adequately sized piece of flat private land - it can fold down the wings, engage its rear-facing propellor, and take off. The folding wings are electrically powered."

Well this is freakin' awesome. We'll be the Jetsons in no time.

I'll be needing mine in black please.

2010-06-29T05:24:00.000-07:00

Man Jewelry

Before you even ask... the answer is no.

No. No. No.

We don't wear jewelry. For our purpose jewelry is defined as anything you wear purely for looks that serves no other function. So for example... cuff links are not banned by this rule because cuff links, like belts, are required by some attire to function. Tie tacks can similarly be allowed. Watches are obviously allowed, as they serve a function.

Another notable exception are historically accepted cultural items. For catholics... a St Something-or-other (The Patron Saint of Slow Recall... he's not very famous) medallion or a rosary. These items should be worn with care though... as its a very thin line. The religious necklaces I mentioned for example shouldn't be seen. If we see it to much... we assume you're not wearing for any religious or cultural significance... you're wearing it to make yourself feel pretty.

There are two other exceptions worth noting... gifts symbolic of some enormous life altering event... this is wear wedding rings come in... and jewelry won or awarded for some actual achievement, or to denote membership. So...Super Bowl Rings are completely acceptable. You won your Fantasy Football league? good enough. Your lodge grants you a certain level and you are to wear a ring to denote that level.... fine. You're a marine and you want a ring that says "marine" in gold.... I would rather see ya get a tattoo but I don't think the jury would convict.

Now this is an important post. I wrote it because the bastard jewelry makers have gotten tricky on us. See... Men don't give a damn about flashy gold jewelry. Historically... except for the dandies among us... its not been particularly bothersome to ignore jewelry.

I am seeing things slacken up though. I see guys with black titanium rings with carbon fiber inlays. Its black... therefore its masculine... and look! Carbon Fiber! Oh its true... Carbon Fiber draws in sport bike guys like bugs to a zapper. But look up here at the rules. Do you see any exception made for jewelry that is made with masculine materials? No. I don't care if its tungsten. I don't care if its got titanium cables on it... or black diamonds that were formed in a super nova. Yes.... that's all cool. And when you do something... achieve something... then someone can buy it for you... and then you can wear it.

Otherwise you're just wearing it to look pretty... so it may as well be carbon fiber panty hose. Or italian shoes.

2010-06-20T20:41:00.000-07:00

Insulting Fathers Day

Now let me preface this by saying... it is in no way a reflection on my own Fathers Day.... nor how my family treated me. I was honoured quite a bit today and am appreciative of it. And while I am at it...

Happy Fathers Day pop.

That said...

I am thoroughly sick of the way dads are attacked on Fathers Day.... especially at Church. Not surprisingly... the female dominated Church is fairly hostile to fathers. At no time is this more obvious than on fathers day.

Lets start by looking at Mothers Day. Now... Sermons on both days have formulas that are almost always followed... but in each case... are slightly different. On mothers day... women will be celebrated and praised to the point of near worship. Mary will be mentioned over and over again. Then... in the sermon... the minister will take some particular positive attribute of mothers... and use it as a lesson... and hold it up as something for everyone to aspire to.

Then Fathers Day comes along. its a whole different story. It often starts with a mens breakfast... where an old man will stand up and read a list of fatherly attributes... and its assumed of course that you don't meet them... then you are chastised for not meeting them... and challenged to meet them in the future.

Then the service rolls around... and everyone will lament the failures in society and blame them on who? Right. Dads. And then the formulaic sermon... of course there will be no mention of Joseph... no... instead the minister takes a negative attribute of males... this morning at my church it was pride... and complains about how it affects the family of fathers... and uses it as a negative example to show people something to avoid. At my church the preacher threw in the added bonus of complaining that his dad didn't tell him he loved him... and prayed to God that he would never end up like that. What a great way to honor your father... to lead a congregation in prayer that you should never suffer from his faults.

I've been to Baptist churches... Catholic churches... Church of Christ churches... and holy roller churches... and all of them follow these same formulas on fathers day and mothers day... but that's ok.. I'm certain there are exceptions. I just wish I could be at one some time.

But if you're a minister... and you're reading this... here's some advice for Father's Day next year. Just say, "Thanks Dad."... and shut the hell up.

2010-06-18T18:46:00.000-07:00

ATF

Ya know... as one that generally don't like people... I can reliably be counted on to avoid crowds and groups in general.... on account of the fact that they are made up of people. Still... I have been been taken aback by the hospitality of the folks in this little town.

Its hard to beat a night at a cookout with good folks... and well... if you ever get a chance to drink beer with the mayor of a small southern town... I highly recommend it.

Its not to say that I didn't love Dickson County... we did... and still do. But these folks have gone so far out of their way to make us feel like a valued part of the community... even before we'd gotten our furniture arranged.

Anyway.... My wife had to stifle her shock as I was seen drinking beer from a can. But at least it was Yuenglings lager. Not bad.

So that's got the A taken care of.... how about the T? Any suggestions? Anyone smokin' an onyx out there? Arturo maybe? if so I'm jealous as hell. Oh wait... look here... its a Romeo y Julietta... Yeah I'm slumming it.

F? Anyone handled the new taurus polymer wheel guns? What say you? Blasphemy? Or a great idea for lightweight heavy punch concealment?

2010-06-16T20:58:00.001-07:00

Debt is Not Money

There is a lot of hand-wringing right now about something called "debt deflation". See... some folks... like our beloved Vox Day... think that debt deflation is a legitimate deflationary force that will render any inflationary force ineffective.

I want to explain why they're wrong.

Remember first what we're discussing here... its the size of the money supply... its a measurable... theoreticly anyway. Unfortunately in order to measure something you have to agree on what you're measuring. We don't.

Consensus is that debt is indeed part of the money supply. Consensus, typically, is wrong.

Debt is not part of the money supply and cannot be counted as such. Lets examine it.

Lets say you lend me 1000 dollars... and I go buy something with it. You handed me 1000 dollars in cash... or you wrote a check... or the money was transfered... whatever. In some way 1000 dollars was transfered to me. That money... has just been accounted for in the money supply. Even if you're a bank and you have the privilege of pulling money from thin air. Once it hits my accounts it is accounted for in what we call M2. The real money supply. Now... you have also added 1000 dollars in your accounts receivables... a debt. So that's a total of 2000 dollars. But wait... only 1000 exists. The debt doesn't exist. Its just future money that I pay you... that will be accounted for in the accounts of future M2. If you count the 1000 debt in the money supply... you've counted the same money twice. That's just bogus.

So... this is why debt deflation... is not a real deflationary force. See... sure... numbers are getting smaller.. but it doesn't matter... because they weren't real anyway. its like complaining that the supply of monopoly money is shrinking. its an oddity sure... but it doesn't matter.

on the other hand... governments handing out trillions of real dollars going into real accounts... that is in fact inflationary. Very inflationary. No amount of disappearing monopoly money will ever mitigate its effect.

Debt deflation is only scary to the bankers who are realizing that their accounts receivables are not nearly as reliable as they had assumed.

You can't spend debt. You can borrow money... you can sell debt... but think about what whores sell every day. Is that money to?

I think I am gonna write up an accounts receivable for 2 trillion dollars.... I will just pull it outta my butt. Then I'll wad it up and throw it away... cause no one is gonna pay it. Vox and the deflationistas will no doubt catch the vapors over the devastating effects to the money supply. Its ridiculous I know... just as ridiculous as counting debt in the money supply.

Now... clever Josh asks... "wait... you deposit 100 dollars.. and the bank turns it into 950 dollars of loans.. and the money supply is not increased?"

Says I...

Of course its increased.. but each of those loans had a payout. Someone received the new money at which point it was accounted for in the M2. So the m2 increased by 950 dollars. But it did not increase by 1900 dollars. You can count the money in the accounts. You cannot count the debt created. So in the future.. when the dead beats refuse to pay the loans back... you can't claim its deflationary. It isn't deflation. The 950 dollars is out there...in various accounts... just not the banks.

2010-06-16T08:02:00.000-07:00

The Thrill is Gone

Ok... when MSNBC is ripping Obama... ya know the mulatto messiah has lost it. Fox didn't slam the speech nearly this bad. But I suppose its the same old story. The democrats eat their own. So guess what's for dinner?

Imagine... it was just two years ago that Chrissy Matthews was giggling about a chill running up his leg when the messiah spoke.

2010-06-11T18:09:00.000-07:00

The Return of the Blogger Blaster... ATF style

What a day... what a week. Holy crap people.

So its been two weeks since I had reliable internet access... I was 10 days without phone or tv. it was like 1930 or something... Considering the economy... a lot like 1930. Regardless... its all handled now. So lets get this atf thing rolling.

A: Landshark for starters... Bookers later tonight. There's really not a lot more to say than that is there?

T: If I'm bein' honest I ain't picked out my cigar yet. I'll have to throw an update on here a little later.

F: As always... Steyr M40... SU-16... Winchester Defender. Now be advised... I'm in serious ninja mode tonight. Tonight... I was breaking down boxes with a smith and wesson tactical knife. Somewhere around box number 278... I noticed a big nasty yellow jacket walking around. Little bastard was givin' me the evil eye... walking around on the one of the boxes. I flicked the knife. THWAK!!!!

Cut the little bastard's head off.

His decapitated body was stuck to the blade... and still moving around pretty good. I brought it into the kitchen and showed it off for the boys who are now convinced their dad is somekind of samurai warrior.

As it should be.

Anyway... time to find that cigar boys... Y'all have a good one.

2010-05-28T11:22:00.000-07:00

Moving Time

Well boys its time for the Blogger Blaster's Delta Tango Base to shut it down and sign off. We'll be without home internet access for several days. Blogging from the phone is entirely possible but I will likely be far to busy to do so. If I can... I will. Otherwise... the next significant update will occure in about a week... from the new Beta Alpha HQ.

Light'em if ya got 'em... and sip a little Makers for me.

Blogger blaster signing off.

For now.

2010-05-20T15:10:00.001-07:00

Then He Returned!!!!

Ok not really. I'm still on the road... in some little town in north Georgia. I wanted to post some pics though of my latest solo ride. JAC apparently sprained a felopian tube and couldn't come with me... so its just me. No worries.

This old covered bridge was apparently featured in a movie in 1951. I do believe all of them have been.

Not far passed the covered bridge I found the first winery. I may have had a sample... or two. And... I learned a great deal here. Aparently... wineries are where you go to pick up chicks. Who knew? Now understand... I will not divuldge which winery this episode took place at.

So I walk in... and of course... there are two cute chicks behind the wine bar looking to hand out free wine. At the bar are two attractive women in the low to mid thirties... who have... had a few samples. Perhaps... quite a few.

I successfully avoided the wiles of those particular harpies... but the wenches behind the counter proved to be far more challenging. The brunette serving samples was shameless in her flirting. Which of course was horribly offensive to one as noble and upright as I... but as forward as she was... the blonde cashier was her better.

So I picked out the perfect bottle for my beautiful wife... and attempted to pay for it... things went downhill from there.

Cashier Harpy: So... You ride a BMW.

....

Ooo... its red. That's a really pretty bike. Ya know my favorite professor in college rode a BMW.

Brunett Harpy suddenly appears and says, "You mean the one you were screwing?"

...

"She has a thing for motorcycles... especially red motorcycles. So watcha up to today?"

I would like to point out that at this point I haven't spoken a word. These women are good.

"Out riding around the mountains girls... decided to stop in and pick up a bottle for my wife."

Now... that was a dumb thing to say. Oh sure.. some of you are thinking that should've warned them off. Of course... the married men amongst us know better.

Now it was the blonde's turn... "aww... that's sweet... so you're off on your own today then?" Brunette... on demand... blushes and laughs and acts shocked that she'd be so forward.

Time to go. Palms are getting sweaty. Not good. These she-devils probly have bodies stacked up in a freezer in the back somewhere. Still.. a man has to leave an impression...

"There was a time girls."

Then I reached out and mussed their hair... and said, "But I just ain't as good as I was back then..."

Everyone had a good laugh and the blonde gave me a hug.... afterwich I was allowed to pay for my wine and escape with my soul safely intact.

This sight was only partly as terrifying as the girls in the winery.

I stumbled across this while I was out riding around. Apparently these falls were discovered by a Confederate Captain while he was out on a ride to. He named them after his only child... Anna Ruby.

The roads have been fabulous. Sorry I don't have more time to write. Smokes are calling my name.

Y'all be safe. I'll check in tomarrow.

YouTube - Cadillac Sky "Born Lonesome"

2010-03-12T19:34:00.000-08:00

YouTube - Cadillac Sky "Born Lonesome"

Epic. Glorious. Awesome.

Warning: do not listen without booze near by.

2010-03-11T12:25:00.001-08:00

WTF?

So a while ago I posted a little tidbit about the IRS buying short barrelled shotguns. Several poo-pooed to the post.

No doubt the news that the Department of Education is also ording 26 short barrelled remington shotguns will be met in a similar manner.

After all... why shouldn't the Department of Education have shotguns?

Duh.

2010-02-17T18:09:00.000-08:00

Day 4: On the Greens with DrWho

Lets start with some general observations:

1) Vail is huge. Have I said that already? Over 5000 skiable acres on 2 mountains. The longest run... Riva.. is a black that is over 9 miles long.

2) Yankees. Pure Bred True Blue Yankees. Everywhere. Everyone is from New York City... or they're from Jersey and they "work in the city".

3) Rich yankees are dicks. I have seen at least 3 huge blowups over entirely trivial matters. This morning I was getting the boys ski boots from the storage girls... now there are two chicks at the window... you bring them your shoes and your id card... they go get your ski boots and store your shoes for the day. Simple right? So it just so happened that two guys walk up to the window at the same time... both with multiple pairs of shoes to swap for boots. So both girls were occupied.. they were doing their job.

This fat yankee with a revolting new york accent walked up to the window and immediately starts bitch, "Where ah the fucking girls? There's supposed to be two girls here. HELLO?? HELLO?? "

I'm watching this... and couldn't help myself...

"Dude. are you on vacation?"

The yankee looks at me... and says, "Who are you? I'm here to ski."

"Yeah so its a ski vacation then? So you're here to have a good time. So maybe you settle down."

The idiot yankee wasn't impressed, "I'll settle down when I get some service in here. These lazy fucks never do their jobs."

"Dude. There are kids all around you. Settle down. There are two chicks back there working their butts off. they'll be up here as soon as they get the 8 pair of boots these two guys over here sent them to get."

about that time a chick lugged four pair of ski boots up to the window and asked if she could help the idiot yankee.. who could only say, "its about time. get me my boots."

Now let me just point out... in a civilized society it would be perfectly legal and appropriate to beat the hell out of that fat bastard. Sadly... we don't live in a civilized society. and again... this is one example. I've seen it over and over again. The staff here has the costumer service edition of battered wife syndrome.

4)My wife is a badass. She had a tweeked knee from a fall yesterday... so she was hurtin' pretty bad when she put a lot of weight on it... you know... like you do when you turn? Well today she found herself at the top of a long... long... slope. Its vail green... but east coast blue... and you don't over shoot it.. because over that ledge at the bottom is a double black. or as I prefer to call it... certain death. Anyway... her leg really took her confidence and she kept looking down that looong run... a run more difficult than anything she'd done yesterday. I was watching from the bottom... but sure enough she came right on down. Smooth and in control... but slightly pissed off. From there it was catwalks trying to make our way to lions head until we hit the last section down... which is blue. Julie took it like a champ this time... great control... great technique... poll turns and everything. When I saw her at the bottom I thought she was gonna explode. She was so fired up that she'd been able to do it... worth the trip. Many adults never get that feeling... some of us need it so badly we dream up crazy schemes to experience it... regardless... when you get it... cherish it.

5) Jeb is better than he's getting credit for at ski school... because he refuses to play their reindeer games. He stops and turns very well... but they expect him to spend the day poking along... and he wants to go. I mean.... GO. so the instructor today told me as long as he was right with Jeb... he did the little slalom thing perfect... but if he wasnt... Jeb would take off flying down the mountain. He doesn't want to promote Jeb to the next level... even though he admits all the skills are there. This is mildly frustrating to me. The showing off indicates to me that he's bored and needs moved up. On the other hand... these are probably some of the best instructors in the world.

6) Eli is dealing with altitude sickness. But he's a trooper. He's having a blast at Ski School and doing very very well. He's stopping and turning.. and would be up on the mountain every day if he weren't sick. He was so tired he literally slept the whole afternoon session away... taking the world's most expensive nap. still I cannot fault the school. They handled it exactly the way I would have wanted them to.

7) I have a ton of pictures... but again... this stupid wireless network's upload speeds are so lame it times out before even one picture makes it to the blog. This is infuriating.

8) On the family friendliness scale... this place is a solid 10. The only complaint is the yankees... and you can take steps to insulate your exposure to them. You'd be amazed how fast they stop their idiotic nattering when you start talking about guns.

2010-02-16T16:58:00.000-08:00

Day 3: Blue on Black

I am at this point moved to wonder if our dear Spacebunny has actually skiied Vail. As she protests that "its not even the best skiing in North America". The dear girl is, in this one rare case, flatly wrong.

It is the best skiing in North America.

Today was insane... fresh powder... feet of fresh powder... and more coming. Glorious.

The first timers were moved to compare different ski areas... Breckenridge is to small... and black at "Breck" is a blue at Vail. A-basin and Copper Mountain don't even compare. I mean if you want to ski the same 4 runs all day.. fine... If you want to spend days on the mountain and never see the same trails... then you have to come to Vail. Greens? All day. Blues? All day. Blacks? All day. Double blacks and backcountry? Forever.

So it was blues today.. and my first blacks... Not east-coast blacks either. Blacks. I was feelin' pretty impressed with myself too... bouncing down.. pole turns... completely smooth and controlled....

Then this line of 5 year olds blew by me.

WTF?

The snow was up to their necks! God that was depressing.

Anyway... Boys made mad progress today and they'll both be on greens on the mountain tomarrow. Big stuff. Julie progressed from level 1 to level 4 in one day. That's pretty hard core in my opinion. We're skipping the lessons tomarrow as we both know the mountain well enough now for some exectutive skiing together tomarow... which should hopefully mean...

PICTURES!

And... if all of this hasn't been glorious enough... I met one of the 10th mountain soldiers that helped open this place up.

2010-02-15T16:37:00.000-08:00

Vail Day 2: The first day on the slopes

Holy crap dude.

So the boys spend the day in ski school. They are both standing up and stopping consistantly... and Jeb is able to turn pretty well. Another day of ski school and they'll be monsters. We had the geared up big time. We spent a ton of cash on the gear... but it was worth it. It was -8 with a windchill of -26... and they were both fine. In fact... both said they got a little hot.

yeah baby. yeah.

As you can imagine when we got back to the hotel I got all manner of demonstrations of various stopping and turning manuevers. Jeb also protested bitterly that he was not allowed to go down the black diamonds.

DrWho and I also spent the afternoon in ski school... her as a beginner... and me as advanced. She was very pleased with her progress and had a great deal of fun. And of course... in the advanced course I was in... we did what one calls "executive skiing."

If you're unfamiliar... "Executive Skiing" describes a certain style... where one gets to the slopes about... 9:45.... hits some lazy blues and greens... then has a nice leisurely lunch by the fire for an hour or two.. then its back to the greens and lazy blues till about 3... then its time to retire for cocktails by the fire. Relaxed as it was... I was very disappointed to find myself sweating.

Still I am very much impressed by the Executive Skiing.... as it allows for signifant time for reading by the fire.... and Pride and Prejudice, and Zombies is fairly difficult to put down.

As for Vail itself... its staggering. First of all there are well over 200 named runs. 200. The layout is simply stupendous. Its such that even a hardcore seasoned skier could spend a day piddling around greens and blues and be perfectly satisfied... simply because of the way the terrain varies. You can ski for 7 hours straight... never hit the same slope twice... and never be even remotely close to lost. Considering the size of the places.. that's pretty amazing.

Needless to say... we're miserable.... we hate it... you should never come here.

2010-02-13T08:55:00.000-08:00

Vail

In a few hours we're boarding a plane for Denver. From there its a bus to Vail... where we'll spend the next week at the Cascade Resort. This is a little stunning to me... as I can honestly say I never thought I'd get to ski the Rockies.

I'd done a lot of skiing... but east of the Mississippi its a very different thing. Its far more like sliding down a sheet of ice than actually slashing through powder. I've always wondered what it would be like to actually be able to stop.

The laptop is going with me... so you should look forward to being tormented with pictures and tales over the next week.

Come along for the ride boys.

2010-02-11T20:01:00.000-08:00

Some Things You Never Expect To See

So my brother... who I was certain was straight... was confessing his desires to me tonight... rationalizing his sickening and perverse desires for various electronic readers... when he said this:

JAC:
I think I'll wait for the ipad.

2010-02-11T09:25:00.000-08:00

Thought For The Day

If the government can force me to wear a motorcycle helmet to keep insurance rates down, then it can force your fat ass onto a tread mill for 3 hours a day for the eact same reason.

Let's see what the Fat Pride folks think of that slippery slope.

"Fear the Boom and Bust" a Hayek vs. Keynes Rap Anthem

2010-02-09T07:06:00.001-08:00

Dude... I hate rap... hate it. But this is one of the 10 most awesomest things on the nets.

2010-02-03T09:51:00.000-08:00

Heap Bad Ju Ju Mon

So I'm browsing around the internets minding my own business when I find this. Apparently they're looking for 60 remington 870s... parkerized... 14-inch barrels... wilson combat ghost ring sights.

Anyway...

Might better make sure that 1040EZ is in the mail in time.

Sleep well tonight.

2010-01-14T16:49:00.000-08:00

Purchase Patterns... and Perverts.

Browsing through Amazon.com almost always results in some comedic gem. This particular item won't disappoint. Oh not the item itself of course... no the fun is to be found when you scroll down to the "People who purchased this also purchased"...

Who knew the communion crowd was so ummm.... impassioned?

Wafers... check.

Wine... check.

Anal Lubricant... check.

2010-01-13T18:48:00.000-08:00

Uh Oh...

Looks like the Mad Aussie has some explaining to do.

I do believe... he's been Baaaaaahhhhhhhd.

2010-01-01T21:05:00.001-08:00

So What Are You Gonna Do?

I have a friend that's going to summit Mt. Rainier this year.

I'm gonna ski Vail for the first time. Other than that... I haven't decided... but I know I will do something extraordinary in 2010... and it will involve a firearm or a motorcycle... or most likely... both.

But what?

That's me today. That's where I am. Ride to.... where?

The Big One is still out there. The one JAC and I always talk about... but seems just to impossible to consider. The ride to the Arctic Circle. It would be our first international ride. It would be an extreme ride to be sure... but what's the point of perfecting your long distance skill... if you don't ride long distances?

He has a GS. I have an RT. Why on earth shouldn't we ride to the arctic circle? Well.. besides the fact that it will take a month... And don't we have to finish the Trans Am Trail first? Maybe that's it.

But what about Africa? Couldn't I go hunt in Africa?

Or couldn't I just go to Texas and hunt a russian boar with a knife?

Or maybe I could have a fourth son?

Or...

That's a big damned word for just two little letters. But or... no... not or... how about... perhaps... yes...

Perhaps....

Perhaps.... I just do what I always do.

And try to take over the world.

2009-12-29T13:07:00.001-08:00

Further Evidence that Macs Suck

So it turns out that I only have one friend that actually owns and uses a Macintosh laptop. And believe it or not... she's a programmer. You'd think she'd know better. Regardless... this otherwise beautiful, brilliant, and otherwise extremely tech-savy girl does in fact use the abomination in question.

Imagine my joy when the other day she lamented her laptop issues. Trouble with the mac? Couldn't be. After all... Macs "just work". Right? We hear that all the time.

Well not only does her Mac not "just work" its not even her Mac. Her Mac failed to "just work" so badly that it had to be taken to the Apple Store to be repaired... and what she was complaining about wasn't even her Mac at all... but the loner the Apple store had provided. Apparently, it randomly would shut down... way to often. Infuriatingly often.

So I looked her up to play some WoW the other night... and she informed me that she had no laptop at all... and that she was going to buy a "Gaming Laptop".

Gaming Laptop... AKA... Not a Mac.

Now lets consider how this trial could've gone differently... She probably spent over 2k on that Mac laptop. So for that same amount... she could've bought 1 comparable windows laptop... and 2 slightly older back up laptops that would still perform in case the nicer one went down.

I buy what I call a disposable laptop every year. I find something for 4 or 5 hundred bucks... and use it until it dies. If it lasts a year... I figure I've gotten my money's worth. If it lasts longer... bonus. So far.. I have accumulated 3 laptops this way... and none of them will die. I almost threw one of them away... because the keyboard was destroyed by Eli... and I didn't want the hassle of taking it to a shop and paying a repair bill.

Then I remembered... oh yeah... its not a Mac.

So I bought a keyboard off ebay for 3 bucks... and used the other 2 laptops until it arrived. When it did arrive... it took all of 30 minutes to install.

Because... after all...

It wasn't a Mac.

Just a little more anecdotal evidence.

2009-12-24T21:34:00.000-08:00

Ho. Ho. Ho.

Yes... those are two 125cc atvs. I skimped out and bought the chinese ones because honestly they are a quarter of the price... and well... I have two brothers that are industrial mechanics. Special thanks to Welldigger and Papa who actually were at my house when they were delivered. They assembled them completely... examining all the critical parts and replacing much of the hardware with superior quality pieces... all the cotter pins... many of the fasteners... ect... I was out of town... and they spent hours on the job. Its greatly appreciated.

Perhaps tomarrow a video will appear.

Ya never know.

2009-12-24T17:49:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas

Luke 2 11:14

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.
And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
And suddenly with the angel there was a multitude of the Heavenly host praising God, and saying,
Glory to God in the Highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

SEX AND BEER 2

2009-12-04T16:38:00.001-08:00

You're welcome.

2009-11-27T14:11:00.000-08:00

The Carcass of the Beast

They no longer haunt the kitchen. Indeed nothing remains but the bloated happy bellies and lingering fond memory.

Success.

2009-11-26T06:59:00.001-08:00

Get Cookin' Boys

Alright... get off your lazy ass and get to work. There's meat to cook dammit.

So what's on the menu at Nate's? Glad ya asked. Today I'm responsible for 3 things: fried turkey, fried boston butt, and fried green beans.

So... Ever fried a boston butt? That's a big ass ham for them what don't know by the way. Ain't to difficult really. Here's how it works:

Inject your ham with cajun garlic and marinade it for about an hour or so. Then drop her in the deep frier at 350. Mind the oil temp... it dips when the ham goes in. Plus don't be gettin' to rushed... she pops pretty good when ya put her in. I use peanut oil. Should take about 8 minutes a pound... could be a little more. Tastey!

The turkey is very similar excepting of course you have to rub bacon grease all over it after you inject it. Turkey goes faster to... about 3 minutes a pound.

And the green beans?

I don't share that.

Sorry.

ok.. so how about you? What's the menu at your place?

2009-11-25T08:20:00.001-08:00

The Savings Glut

Just in case you didn't realize how incredibly stupid the modern economic talking heads are... allow me to quote Nobel Prize winner... Paul Krugman:

"If you want to know where the came from, then, think of it this way: We're looking at the revenge of the glut.

And the savings glut is still out there. In fact, its bigger than ever, now that suddenly impoverished consumers have rediscovered the virtues of thrift and the worldwide property boom, which provided an outlet for all excessive savings, has turned into a worldwide bust."

So setting aside the fact that a man just asserted that there is even such a thing as excessive savings... let us first start with the facts before we bother refuting the theory. That is to say... before we can blame the crisis on a savings glut... we must show that a savings glut actually exists.

Ummm...

So see? We don't have to bother refuting the silly theory that excessive saving caused the crisis... because there are no savings... excessive or otherwise.

Krugman's arguement isn't just built on sand... its built on the pretense of sand.

2009-11-23T16:49:00.001-08:00

Where Do Pumpkin Pies Come From?

yes I know its an old one... but its classic.

2009-11-23T10:54:00.000-08:00

A Busy Mornin'

So I was downstairs helping Eli with one of his Nintendo DS games... Jeb and Elkan were upstairs playing MarioKarts. Yes... Elkan plays MarioKarts. All was well until I heard Jeb yell from upstairs.

"Daddy. Elkan called the lady on the phone and she says now the police have to come to our house."

...

...

!

So of course I assume I didn't hear what I obviously heard and run upstairs hoping I was mistook.

"What's going on buddy?"

"Well... Elkan called the lady and he's talking to her and she said now the police have to come to our house. ***sigh*** little brothers..."

It was at this point that I heard Elkan still chattering away in his bedroom. I rushed in there and found him giving some poor woman a very stern lecture about something that was clearly extremely important. I grabbed the phone... hoping no one was there.

"hello?"

"Oh hi! This is Julie and the ER. Your baby called us and he's just been talking up a storm."

"... ummm.."

"We didn't know what was going on so we had to call the police to come check."

"... errr... sorry?"

"Oh its ok.. he's adorable. I can't believe he dialed this number though."

"I can't either. So he didn't dial 911 then?"

"No this is the unpublished ER number."

"What?"

"I know. I don't know how he managed it!"

Well... I eventually got off the phone with her. Turns out Julie had been on call and got paged to the ER a couple days before and Elkan had simply pressed redial.

At least the cops took their time showing up. The local chief of police, a buddy of mine named Brian, showed up about 30 minutes later. "Havin' a good mornin' Nate?"

"Its great Brian. Thanks."

"hehehe.. I told 'em everything was ok... That baby just tryin' to find his mama."

Its a good thing we live in Mayberry.

2009-11-21T07:01:00.000-08:00

Good Riddance

I'm frequently told that we're not in the midst of an epic economic collapse because conditions today aren't as bad as they were in the Great Depression. I think the people of Detroit would disagree.

Consider this... In Detroit proper, the unemployment rate is now higher than it was in the peak of the Great Depression there. Not only that... but back then the numbers were figured far more strictly counting for people down to age 16.

Not only that... the city can no longer afford to bury its dead.

As is the case with most areas... if a family claims a body there and cannot afford to bury it, the city will bury the body in a plain pine casket in a nearby cemetary with a marker. So far... there are 55 bodies sitting in a freezer in the central morgue because the families can't afford to bury them, and the city is broke.

Whole areas of the city are abandoned... and are slowly turning back into wilderness. It looks like some place you'd find in Fallout.

As the city dies this slow agonizing death... I can only chuckle. A more wretched hell hole has likely never existed on this continent. Perhaps every major metropolitan area of the United States will suffer this same indignant death.

We should be so lucky.

2009-11-19T07:41:00.000-08:00

Dollar Down

The dollar's downward spirl continues... as I'm sure you've noticed. I mean its hard to pay 7 bucks for a gallon of milk and think there's anything other than inflation going on.

That chart shows the dollar heading to the 2008 low of 71. Now compare it to the gold chart...

So the dollar is heading to the 2008 low, and simulteneously Gold's target is 1300 in the next two months. Now if you've read Vox Day's book, the Return of the Great Depression, you know that he said if Gold was to reach 1500 per ounce by the end of 2010 then the hyper inflationist scenario he calls "Whiskey Zulu" would possibly be in play.

Not only will we see $1500 gold before the end of 2010... we'll probably see it before summer.

and of course... if the percentage holds... a gallon of milk will be 9 bucks or so.

2009-11-17T17:16:00.000-08:00

Tactical Pistol: Thoughts Unthunk... Usually

I'm inclined to ask... is it wise for a man to get into a gunfight without giving thought to the possibility of getting shot?

With that in mind... how much time have you spent drilling one handed? Lets say you're shot in your weak arm and can't use it. Can you draw and fire one handed? Can you reload a magazine one handed? Can you clear a jam one handed?

And don't we all practice shooting while standing still?

Have you ever played a first person shooter where people stand still and shoot? While first person shooters are in no way definitive when it comes to tactics in this case they are dead right. Gun fights are not static affairs. Move while you shoot. Shoot as you move.

In an armed confrontation always move in a rotation that keeps your own site on the enemy... while moving you towards his strong side. If he's shooting right-handed... you rotate around him to your left.

And how about reloading one handed? If you carry a full sized backup and cover ain't available... this is a good time to drop your primary and pull it. If you can find cover, drop the empty mag... put the pistol between your knees with the empty grip pointing towards the front of your body. Grab your new mag, put it in the grip... pop it once to seat it... bring the weapon back to ready position and hit the slide release. This should take just a few seconds.

If you have a jam... most can be cured by simply racking the slide. Use the offending case to catch on your belt and push down until the slide racks and ejects the bastard. If ya can't do this... drop the useless weapon and pull your backup.

And yes... you should always have a backup.

I practice these drills quite a bit. I hope you do the same.

ATF: The Gourds - Gin and Juice

2009-11-13T17:11:00.001-08:00

Say boys!

Its hard to have a little ATF without a sound track... so I opted for an old favorite. The finest cover ever.

Now.. onto the more imporant matters... Like...

A: So julie brought me a bottle of Mezcal home from mexico. 3 worm tequila boys. 3 worms in the bottle. Big bastards to. Good for molotav cocktails... I don't know about drinkin' it.

T: Can someone tell me why it is that cigars dry up so fast and pipe tobacco can somehow remain moist for decades in a damned jar? I don't get it.

F: What would you have to do to make a glock cool? What if ya had a milled steel frame? And... what if you put a .50GI conversion kit on it? Then of course we'd have to put a decent trigger on the thing... but hey... at least it would be a real weapon. So there ya go... for an additonal 1200 bucks...you could make your Glock cool.

2009-11-12T19:37:00.001-08:00

Setting Fashion Trends...

... at a military funeral.

Great job Michelle. Classy as always.

2009-11-12T06:56:00.000-08:00

Taurus Thunderbolts

Several years ago Taurus started offering quality reproductions of the classic winchester pump action rifles. I've lusted for one of the plinkers ever since... but now loins have been stirred to the point of out right burning lust.

Now they're offering the same classic rifles in .357 mag and .45acp. Oh my...

I already have a matched caliber handgun/rifle set... a vaquero and a winchester 94 both in .44 mag. As nice as that is... I believe a pump action .357 rifle to match my .357 tracker would be even more useful. Plus... you can shoot the more economical .38specials for plinking.

All I want for Christmas...

2009-11-04T17:16:00.000-08:00

iGlock

Every girl should have one.

Sorry to one up you, JAC.

Lynyrd Skynyrd - God and Guns

2009-11-02T17:36:00.001-08:00

Check it out boys! We can now officially forgive Skynyrd for that stupid Saturday Night Special song.

2009-10-24T08:44:00.001-07:00

Brutal Honesty

2009-10-17T10:36:00.000-07:00

Cretaceous Internal Combustion

So... I'm mind my own business... fumbling around the web when I discover a completely reasonable justification for throwing paleontologists and climatologists in a cage for a no-rules death match.

Bear with me here...

In this article we learn about this gloriously vast snake fossil. Which really has nothing to do with my point... except that there is this one fabulous nugget slipped in. That's how it works really... if you pay attention... the inter disciplinary contradictions just jump right out at you.

Buried in the article we find this:

"Why are today's snakes smaller? The report concludes that temperatures at the equator were higher (86-93.2 Fahrenheit) than today (82.4 Fahrenheit) and facilitated the large body sizes of air-breathing animals whose body temperatures are dependent on ambient environmental temperatures. "

Now we are reliably told that a 1 degree increase in the global temperature would utterly destroy the world as we know it.

And yet... it was 11 degrees warmer... 5 times the doom.... just 65 million years ago... when life as we know it supposedly developed... or so the fairytale goes. But how can this be says I? How can it have been so hot? It couldn't possibly have been that hot... I mean unless we're positing that early mammals made use of the internal combustion engine.

Which we're not.

...

Are we?

2009-10-16T12:46:00.000-07:00

Ummmm....

Back before it mattered that much....

Do indeed note the headline... and the don't forget to note the date at the top.

2009-10-08T04:29:00.000-07:00

Proof of Inflation

So...

You think it we're rolling down the deflationist path eh? Now remember... Gold hit its all time high yesterday... again. The deflationists of course claim this is because countries are scrambling to gold to get away from the dollar.

Ah..

But if that's the case then explain these facts: it is more than 30 per cent below its highs in Australian dollar terms, 15 per cent lower in yen terms and 6 per cent lower in sterling terms. Now if deflation were actually happening... you'd see it at the grocery store. You don't. A 12 pack of cokes for example is 7 freakin' bucks! Almost double what it was just 2 years ago. I don't know if you've noticed... but the you can still by a coke for 99 cents at the convenience store on the corner... but its only 16 ounces... not 20. They shrunk the bottle. The 20 ounce is now a $1.50!

And yes... I understand that the MSM is putting out all manner of articles about low prices. Fact is they are poorly researched pipe dreams. Prices are going up. Not down. In fact the only thing that is seeing steady prices instead of spikes is Natural Gas... and that is directly related to a massive spike in supply.

In spite of all this imaginary money disappearing into thin air... we're seeing inflation. Not deflation.

2009-10-06T17:13:00.000-07:00

1043!!!!

Dude.

Gold hit its all time high today... because you know... all of that deflation.

2009-10-05T05:51:00.000-07:00

Never Dial 911

If this story doesn't convince you that the cops ain't on your side... nothing will. I know its long but trust me... you need to read it.

To sum it up... a family is at home when a dude crashes through their living room window and runs into their son's bedroom. Daddy grabs a gun and goes there and holds the dude while they call 911.

As a bunch of officers run up to the house Mommy grabs one and explains the situation... and then they hear gun shots.

One of the cops has just shot Daddy in the back... 6 times... while he still had 911 on the line!

The best news?

The 911 recording picked up everything the cops said as they discussed how they would cover up the shooting.

The facts of the case are amazing. What they did to the man they just shot while they were paniced and trying to figure out how to cover it up... its just bizarre.

Its just further evidence... NWA was right.

UPDATE:

Holy Shit! They got away with it!

2009-10-04T09:21:00.000-07:00

Worstest Written Communication Ever

Look... I realize this blog ain't a paradigm of proper spelling... but we have some standards. I can't say the same for the author of the trainwreck that follows. Remember... this is a real ad posted on the net.

"samic bass pearl white 4 string rose wood fret bord asking 160.00 also have electric acustic bass carlo rebbeli black 2 littil niks but not bad been fix 1500.00 ill send pick if your interested in eathere one.also have black speshal edition epephone nice one of my babys 350.00 .also have an older small boddy acustic guitar $75.00 nice .also have a 1980's firebird gibsun matalic red exselent shape 450.00 .also have 3 efex pedles ones DOD FX40B equalizer 8 band's on it 35.00 / 2nd one is DOD FX25 envelope filter 45.00/3rd one is arion sfl-1 not shere what it is its got rate/depth/manual/feedback also can go frum direct or sterio switch 20.00 & i have small B/C ritch amp nice new only been use to show it works & about 20 minuts of playing on it for my self.i have violin you would half to come look at it 300.00 mandelin 250.00 bouth frum grmany i beleav an electonic ametranome 25.00 an old 30's trumpet need work 45.00 slide trumbone 45.00 4 drum skins encor new 35.00 in box .also may trade for somthing im interested in. every thing i sell is to bild use an addition to the house & pay bills so the munny you spend is for good coz were in need of 3 bed rooms"

Seriously? bouth frum grmany I beleav? What f'ing language is that? And what the hell is a "gibsun matalic red exselent shape"? The most shocking thing was the fact that he managed to spell "shape" correctly.

2009-09-23T19:10:00.000-07:00

Kickstart My Heart

Oh hell...

WASHINGTON — The FBI is investigating the hanging death of a U.S. Census worker near a Kentucky cemetery, and a law enforcement official told The Associated Press the word 'fed" was scrawled on the dead man's chest.

Boys... War may have just been declared. Now we just have to figure out who's declarin' it.

2009-09-20T21:06:00.001-07:00

Counting the Cost of Girl Power

Empowering words come easy. Dare I say... cheap. What's easier than looking at a child and saying, "You can do anything."? For going on 3 decades now we've rammed that lie down the throats of our girls.

You can do anything.

Maybe so... but you still have to pick one thing... and by picking that one thing you must then sacrifice virtually all the others. You don't get to be a professional football player and a rock star. It doesn't work.

Now this is nothing new for boys. We've done it forever. Oh sure it may take boys a little while to figure out that they aren't going to be the quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys... but they eventually get around to it... and even those that have been blessed with atheleticism such that professional sports is a legitimate career choice... they instinctively know they have to choose one. Charlie Ward won the heisman trophy as Florida State's quarterback... then got drafted to play point guard in the NBA.

Unfortunately... for all their education and high minded child psychology... it hasn't yet occured to our egg headed educators that maybe they should be explaining this same realism to girls to.

Girl power has had many consequences. When I look around and see these 20 something females paralyzed... wholly incapable of making a life choice... I am reminded of Girl Power. Well... you tell me... if you've been told your whole life you can be anything... what would you pick? And then how satisfied would you feel with your life... after having those words drilled into your head for decades... only to end up as a human resources officer at some hospital?

And there is another obvious consequence. Look around at the pressure women put on themselves. Don't you think it could be related to the empowerment they were subjected to as kids?

The fact is a generation of feminists grew up sheltered and secure from the pressures to perform... and then prompted decided to drop the weight of the world on the shoulders of the kids of the next generation. With empowerment comes expectation. You can pout about it the unfairness of it all you'd like... but it won't change. Its like a law of physics. Actions and reactions folks.

This girl power crap has to stop. Because Girl Power is killing our girls.

2009-09-19T06:48:00.000-07:00

Theft Protection

Fun with tesla coils! Now... I wonder how big it has to be to strap on top of an Escalade...

2009-09-11T06:03:00.001-07:00

Divided We Stand

United we fall. Got it backwards says you? Depends on who the we is says I.

If by we, you mean those of us in fly over country, then we only survive through division. We're fighting to tread water people... and in their crazed psychotic panic the zombies on the coasts are pulling us under the water with them. We have two options... give up and go down with them... or kick them in the face and pull ourselves out.

I hereby challenge you to name one single issue that there is not massive disagreement on in this so called united nation.

And disagreement is one thing... we've always had that. What we've only had on rare occasions... is hate. Hate is what we have today. We hate each other. Urban hates Rural. Republican hates Democrat. Liberal hates Conservative. The South hates the North. The West hates the East. Everyone hates California.

And its not just regions... its topics... pro choicers hate pro lifers... the Gun Culture hates Gungrabbers.

The United States is divided. More so than its been since The War.

So what now?

2009-09-10T16:10:00.000-07:00

Game Time!!!!!

Its a national freakin' holiday. The NFL season starts in an hour boys. Light 'em up.

Ahh.. but what to look for tonight? We keep hearing that the Titans lost Haynesworth. Newsflash: The Titans didn't have Haynesworth or Vanden Bosch when they dismantled the Steelers in December.

And the vaunted Steelers Defense? What about Rodney Harrison? Yeah... what about him? The Titans Left Tackle, Micheal Roos, completely shut him down last year. Do you suppose he won't tonight? I certainly don't. Football doesn't work like that.

Oh but Towelgate! The Titans stomped the Towel!!!! The Steelers will be extra mad and play hard!

Yeah... like they weren't playing hard back in december when Home Field Advantage was on the line eh? Right.

Here's the truth: The Steelers did more to disrespect that towel by the way they played than the Titans did by stomping on it.

Titans 30. Squeelers 13.

2009-09-10T07:40:00.000-07:00

Democrats are Face Palming Themselves

All over the country right now. Yes yes... One of the most amusing stories I've seen in a long time. ACORN actually helping a couple set up a child prostitution ring... Telling them how to file the taxes on it when the "very young" girls from el salvador finally get to america.

Nice.

Seriously you can't make this stuff up. You really can't.

2009-09-09T09:00:00.000-07:00

Who's Got Next?

I've worked JQP about as much as I can. Come on ladies... who has a honey do list that needs some cleaning up? He works hard... works cheap... and is completely house broken. I officially vouch for him.

The Red Stick Ramblers - Made in the Shade

2009-09-03T03:40:00.001-07:00

I had to post this. I know... Its turning into a regular music blog. Its not my intent but lately I've found a few obscure tunes that I thought you guys would enjoy.

It this don't put a smile on you're face I probly can't help ya.

You'll Never Leave Harlan Alive

2009-09-02T17:27:00.001-07:00

Eli's favorite song.

2009-09-01T07:19:00.000-07:00

Petrified Wood Found on the Moon

What? You don't believe it? Why of course its true... otherwise the American Government must've lied to someone... and we know that's just not possible.

I can't believe this isn't bigger news... I mean here this authentic genuine bonafide moon rock was actually petrified wood... then clearly there has been life on the moon! Not just life.. but trees... and all the things that go with them.. water... atmosphere... all of it.

Friends... its the most important discovery of all time.

2009-08-28T19:57:00.000-07:00

ATF: Greek Fire

So I was showing Welldigger the catapult... and he was duly impressed... when it occured to me... Its gonna get dark soon... and we could recreate greek fire! Woot!

So if you look at the picture to the left you'll see the basic ingredients we started with. We planned to take cotton balls... soak them in... well... various things... light them... and launch them... in the general direction of the house across the street.

What did we learn?

Lamp oil seemed like the best bet before we got started but it proved entertaining... but unpredictable. More often than not the fire would be extinquished during the launch.

Lighter fluid worked far better... but eventually we ditched the cottonballs completely in favor of balled up aluminum foil with smokeless powder inside. IMR 3031 for anyone who's keeping score. Again.. this was entertaining.. but ultimately it didn't get the job done.

Finally we moved on to a wood cylinder with a hole drilled into it. We'd dowse the whole thing in lighter fluid... filling the hole as well.. then construct a small fuse from aluminum foil. The results were quite satisfying. we achieved excellent distance... and the fire spread itself about upon impact in a most enjoyable fashion.

Well... how did you spend your Friday night?

A: Shiner Bock

T: Backwoods

F: Taurus PT-101

2009-08-28T15:01:00.000-07:00

Yes... We Built a Catapult

What else would you expect?

I mean if you can't spend a few hours constructing small scale siege craft... I just don't see the point of livin' at all.

We need to shim it up at the top to get a little more distance... but we did pretty well considering we were forced to contend with polyester string and built the thing with no plan in mind what-so-ever. I'm sure that's a big suprise to.

Regardless... no one was injured. No... seriously.

Evening

2009-08-28T07:21:00.001-07:00

Beauty.

2009-08-27T15:56:00.000-07:00

Nate's World Famous Hot Beef Sandwiches

1 Chuck Roast. Big.

1 Red Onion.

1 Garlic Clove. Minced.

1/4 Cup white rice vinegar. Or plain ol' distilled.

Salt and Pepper.

Chuck the chuck roast into the crock pot... low heat. Mix everything else together... maybe through a shot o' bourbon in there to if ya have the urge... and pour the mix over the roast. Put the lid on it and leave it set for 10 to 12 hours.

Do NOT disregard the stuff in the pot when this bad boy is done. Make like a frog and use it for dippin' your sandwiches in.

Y'all... its good.

2009-08-26T14:23:00.000-07:00

No Way This Ends Well

So my wife asks me and JQP to build her a pergola...

And dammit... I've told him about proppin' boards up on his feet like that... Cause ya know we rednecks are all about safety!

2009-08-26T04:58:00.000-07:00

Its a Beautiful Day

The sun shines brighter... food tastes better.... whiskey goes down a little bit smoother... and hope peers over the horizon.

2009-08-19T11:54:00.000-07:00

The Internets Awesome

Nothing amuses like the random firestorm on the internets. For the bored among you... looking to kill a few hours and shed a few tears laughing... may I humbly suggest you take some time to examine the reviews of this product... the legendary Three Wolf Moon t-shirt.

2009-08-17T20:50:00.000-07:00

And Then He Returned

We appreciate your patience. As you can see JAC and I have finally made it home. To make for my lack of attention... please accept these trophies.

2009-08-07T17:06:00.000-07:00

Distiller Down

Jimmy Bedford was only the 6th Master Distiller for Jack Daniels... that's dating back to 1866. He retired last year... and today was found dead. Jimmy held down the job for 40 years... and was a true ambassador for fine whiskey.

Raise a glass tonight for a fine man lost.

2009-08-07T09:36:00.000-07:00

Go Time. Or... Not.

We're ready to roll. Well... actually we're not. The plan was for JAC to show up at my place this evening / afternoon and we'd change my tires and roll out for parts unknown. Sadly... my brother allowed mere life to interfere with his progress... and the new KLX remains unfit.

JAC swears he'll arrive bright and early tomarrow...

In the meantime...

I'm ready to go.

On the logistics front... Some fine commenters have offered up The Bunker for our use as a staging point for the trip. We are indeed greatful for their offer. So at least progress has been made on that front.

So there you have it... Go Time posponed... Direct complaints to JAC... aka The Anchor.

2009-08-05T06:17:00.000-07:00

TAT Prep Update

Ok boys where are we? We roll out friday... we've got to make sure we're ready to roll. Time's a wastin'.

- Spot showed up a couple days ago in a box that said, "Opening this box is the first step to making sure you don't come home in one." Not an accurate statement. But entertaining.

- Sat phone is proving a pain in my ass. Forms must be emailed..printed..filled out...and faxed. Its like I've stumbled into 1998 or something. WTF? Have we not yet discovered web based applications?

- Luggage issues are up in the air. I ordered a couple bags 10 days ago... they have yet to arrive. They sat in UPS' warehouse in Portland for 5 days. Didn't move an inch. Good thing I made sure I ordered from a vendor that offers same day shipping.

- Unfortunately the same shipment has the new 2.7 gallon gas tank. Now 2.7 gallons doesn't sound like a lot of gas.. but the KLX gets 70mpg on a rough day. Its a big deal. Sadly it looks like it won't arrive till Thursday... leaving very little time to get it installed.

- Also arriving Thursday... our new radiator guards. These things are cool... and they'll save your butt no doubt. No one wants a 2 day hike because of a busted radiator. They only had one gold one... JAC has already called dibs on it. You know how he loves his bling.

- DJ showed up lastnight and dropped off some saddlebags she's letting me borrow. What a sweetheart that girl is. Best sister-in-law around. Now if I could just convince her to run around my house half naked...

-Logisticly speaking we have issues. We need to trailer the bikes somewhere... ditch the truck and trailer for 6 or 7 days... and ride back to them... then trailer the bikes home. Trouble is we have no place as of yet to leave the truck and trailer. Plus... our end point, monticello, UT is about 1200 miles from our preferred start point. Ouch. We're thinking a storage facility might let us park in the gate on the cheap if a hotel won't. Suggestions are welcome. And no... shipping the bikes home ain't an option.

- I had a 12x20 shed delivered and had to rip up a section of chainlink to get her in the backyard... and I had to get the chainlink back up before we roll out... so yesterday afternoon was spent workin'. The fence is up.. but I was sick as a dog all day yesterday. Ended up pukin' in the hole I was concreteing the corner post in. I've got it on good authority though that it will help the concrete set.

- The Steyr .40 and the Tracker .357 are definately coming on the trip. JAC will likely bring a 1911. I am still considering the SU-16. The decision will be made on the initial packing attempt.

- Gear is tricky. It'll be 103 degrees and dry in OK... but in Colorado it'll be in the 30s in passes and thunderstorms are a given. Combine this with the fact that you just can't put that much stuff on a KLX 250 and you see our problem. I believe I will simply use my standard dual sport gear with a rain jacket packed somewhere.

- Hydropacks will be a must. This isn't debatable.

2009-08-03T06:06:00.000-07:00

So You Hate Feminism

Good. So do I. But who do you blame for it? Do you blame the feminists with their stupid ideas and destructive visions?

I blame men. Yep. I'm a man basher.

Why do I blame men? Because God didn't put Eve in charge. He gave Adam the responsibility. And just as Adam's failures caused Eve to stray... so have the failures of western men caused women to stray.

The results are the same. Things fall apart.

Men complain about society being feminized? Well why is that happening? Its happening because we men are throwing up our hands and giving in. We're allowing it to happen. We point out all manner of excuses... but in the end it all comes down to our own refusal to work and fight.

So the church has become a gossip club for the girls? I agree. It has. And who's fault is that? Ours. And who is going to be charged with fixing it? We are.

This is my advice...

Stop bitching. Start leading.

Lead your family. It starts there. Bringing in a paycheck doesn't make you a leader. Its about making the tough decisions and accepting responsibility for the mistakes. Everything is your fault. Everything is your responsibility.

Why?

Because you're the man. You're the leader. You can take it.

Say yes when you can. Say no when you must. Always be accountible. Always takes responsibility for your actions, and the mistakes of others as well.

So who is the more foolish? The feminist that demands to drive... or the man that hands her the keys?

Western men have checked out. Its time to check back in.

2009-08-01T12:42:00.000-07:00

Are all the Children In

When I'm alone I often think
of an old house on the hill.
Of a big yard hedged in roses
where we ran and played at will.

And when the night time brought us home
hushing our merry den.
Mother would look around and ask
Are all the children in?

Well its been many a year now
and the old house on the hill
No longer has my mothers care
and the yard is still
so still

But if I listen I can hear it all
No matter how long its been
I seem to hear my mother ask
Are all the children in?

And I wonder when the curtain falls
on that last earthly day
when we say good bye to all of this
to our pain, and work, and play

When we step across the river
where mother so long has been.
Will we hear her ask the final time
Are all the children in?

2009-07-29T20:46:00.000-07:00

Making a Man

Last night I was putting my boys to bed. I was talking to them about their day like I always do... when Jeb looked up and said, "Daddy... I'm growing up."

I chuckled a little and said, "Why do you say that buddy?"

"Well..." That's how he always starts off important thoughts... "Today I was on top of that tall sliding board, and I was scared. I was really scared. But then... I stopped and I thought... I have to face my fears. So I did... and I just slid down that sliding board. And that's what you do daddy. That's part of being a man. Like being responsible. So see? I'm growing up."

Yeah.. I admit it... I'm a daddy blogger.

Deal with it.

2009-07-28T15:09:00.000-07:00

TAT Prep

Well boys its that time of year again. Time to rig up the KLX and head out to God's Nowhere in search of adventure if not fortune.

JAC and I are heading for Oklahoma. The initial plan is to follow the trail through Oklahoma, New Mexico.. through Colorado across the Great Divide... all the way to the Utah line.

1569 mile of dirt road for anyone interested.

We still have a few weeks before we go.. so its time to start getting the bike ready.

So far I'm thinking:

*** Smaller rear sprocket... maybe a couple teeth smaller. I want to be able to really pop the front wheel if I have to. Big rocks out there. Also... I'm looking at a

*** Larger fuel tank. It only has a 1.8 gallon tank. It gets around 70mpg so that's nice... but a 2.7 gallon tank sounds a lot nicer.

*** A better bash plate.

*** Heavy duty radiator guards.

*** Substancial luggage. At least one legit waterproof compartment.

*** Satelite communications device. Either a phone or a Spot. Recommendations welcome.

*** Big Bore Revolver. The .44 mag may have to do. I doubt the bears will be impressed.

Suggestions welcome.

2009-07-27T15:20:00.000-07:00

Eusebius, Africanus, and Josephus

"That a Prince shall not fail Judah, nor a ruler from his loins, until He should come for whom it is reserved." Gen 49-10

Now I realize your Bible doesn't exactly say that. But that... is precisely what the prophesy means... and it is what the ancient historians Africanus and Eusebius understood as they invariably quoted from the Septuagint.

Making the prophesy even more plain... it simply says that Jews will ruled by Jews until the Savior comes.

Now looking back at the jewish people's history we see sucession unbroken all the way back to Moses... High Priests and Kings were replaced in an oligoliarchic aristocratic form of government that was not broken until Herod.

Aristibulus had been both King and High Prist by sucession until Herod removed him and gave the post to his brother Hyacanus who had befriended Herod as a child. Hyacanus was the last of the High Priests by sucession. After him, Herod began appointing obscure figures.

Now consider this.

By the time Christ arrived... the priesthood was in utter shambles. The highest offices were occupied by political appointees.

Does this not show the trial Jesus faced in a slightly different light? When you think of the old jewish priests rejecting Jesus as a threat... doesn't it seem a little different when you consider that they were no more than political hacks being rewarded for some favor previously performed? According to Eusebius... It was not the true jewish leadership that rejected Jesus. It was a bunch of Jessie Jackson's and Al Sharptons.

I haven't even finished Book I of Eusebius' Ecclesiastic History... and yet I've found my mind at a buffet. It is a feast for thought. Its a view of history we are simply not exposed to.