Let's start with my boy Eli's favorite joke.
What's a whale's favorite game?
Swallow the leader.
Why is bra singular but panties is plural?
What do you get when you cross the atlantic ocean with the Titanic?
Did you hear about the cannibal that got expelled?
He was buttering up his teacher.
Man walks into a bar looking forlorn. Bartender asks him, "You've been walking on air for weeks mate, what's wrong?" The man says... "My wife an I had a fight and she kicked me out for a month. Months up today."
Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Hey.. My name's Pavlov. Ring a bell?
Why does a moon rock taste better than an earth rock?
Its a little meteor.
Bert asked Earnie if he wanted some ice cream. Earnie said, "sure, Bert."
Why do bicycles fall over?
Because they're two-tired.
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
Same middle name.