Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Why The Oscars Suck

Going beyond the fact that it is one more award show. Going beyond the obnoxious self-important ritual of Hollywood patting itself on the back... The most infuriating thing about the Oscars is the fact that the right movie never wins. Ok... sometimes it does... but not often enough to make it a statisicly significant event. Anyone can win the lottery.

Lets take a second... just to demonstrate the vast and seemingly infinite stupidity of the Academy.

1960: The Apartment beat Psycho. I have no words. Psycho wasn't even nominated.
1961: West Side Story beat The Hustler, and Breakfast at Tiffany's wasn't even nominated.
1962: Lawrence of Arabia beat To Kill a Mockingbird, and The Manchurian Candidate wasn't even nominated.

Skipping a bit...

1968: Oliver! wins... 2001: A Space Odyssey isn't even nominated. Morons.
1974: Godfather II wins... and Monty Python's Search for the Holy Grail isn't nominated.
1977: Annie Hall wins. Who the hell is Annie Hall? A woody Allen wetdream wins? Hello! Anyone remember a little film name STAR WARS??? GAH!
1979: Kramer vs Kramer. This beat Apocalypse Now. I could write a whole post on just this one attrocity.
1980: Ordinary People wins. Empire Strikes Back isnt nominated. One of the greatest sports movies of all time "Raging Bull" doesn't win. Insane.
1982: Blade Runner isn't nominated. Blade Runner... one of the best movies ever made. Not nominated... Ghandi.. a film no one has watched since 1983, wins.
1983: Terms of Endearment won. I don't care who it beat. It doesnt matter. If a man photo'd a piece of crap, and projected it onto a small screen somewhere in sweden, it should've beaten this pathetic piece of trash. The fact that this movie was even nominated for anything beyond "Crappiest Crap Ever" is beyond my understanding.

Skipping a bit more

1996: The English Patient... which I have it on good authority was seen by at least 14 people... beat Sling Blade, which wasn't even nominated.
1997: The worst movie in the history of film wins. Titanic.
1998: Following up on the Darkest Day of the Oscars... they make things even worse... When Shakespear in Love of all things... defeats Saving Private Ryan. I want ya to think about that for a while. Do you know anyone who even remembers that trash?
1999: And just to make sure things keep going downhill... how about a film about a pathetic drug using pedaphile? American Beauty wins. If you liked that movie... I want to choke you.
2001: A Beautiful Mind... a love story.. about the marriage.. of a man who in real life was actually a homosexual, and his wife utterly hated him. The point of this flick was "Insane people aren't actually crazy. They're just sad." BAH! This beat Fellowship of the Ring people!!!

Ok.. that's all the pop culture I can stomach. I hate the academy awards. It makes me sick. The only thing about it that bothers me more, is that fact that so many people inexplicably give a damn.

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