Do Not Read Before Lunch

What are you doing? Do you realize what time it is?

I told you not to read. Ok... Fine.. don't blame me though...

So...

Curt.. you remember my boy Curt... My ridin' buddy... Curt's an anesthesiologist. He works with DrWho... and this here tale I'm about to unfold... well... You might say... that the protagonist... if there is such a thing in a story as stupifyin' as this... is him.

It all starts one day at the begining of his shift... when Curt was goin' to see a patient for a pre-operation talk. He was gonna be handlin' the anesthesia ya see...

So before Curt gets into the room... an internist who's been handlin' the patient stops him. He says.. "I don't envy you."

Now I don't know how much y'all know about doctorin', but let me tell ya.. That ain't a good sign.

This is where I offer you one more chance to back out. Seriously... you know why I'm writin' this way? Right. Because I'm drunk. Wanna guess why I'm drunk?

BECAUSE CURT JUST TOLD ME THIS STORY!

Alright... Keep readin'... see if I care...

From this point on.... I tell this from Curts eyes...

So Curt says... "Why? What's wrong?"

The internist... and I don't like typing the word internest.. so from now on I'm gonna call him Jake.

So Jake says... "We Curt... That's a big ol' girl in there.. and she's got a big ol' husband... and well... Son.... I found um... I found... well.... shit.. I better start at the begining..."

See.. it turns out... these two... really really fat people... they have a little sex game they like to play....

She takes food... sweets usually... and.. umm..

She hides them... Hides them... in her... her... ummm... her fat rolls. Then her nasty husband comes in... to find the food... hidden in her folds... which he then eats... then.. the two great bloated sows copulate!!!

How do we know this???

Because she TOLD poor Jake all about it.

Why did she tell poor Jake?

Well... See... Somehow she had to explain just why.... during his physical examimation....

HE FOUND A TWINKY!!!!

A TWINKY!!! HIDDEN IN A FAT ROLL!!!!

Who knows how long this things been there! Actually we do know... she said it was about a week... Now.. You tell me doctors make to much money. Have you ever dug through a fat lady's rolls to find sweets??? Let me tell ya... THAT is a bad day a work people!

Screw this... I'm drinkin'... more.