Parole: T Minus 79 days

Ah.... but who's countin'?

I 'preciate y'all stoppin' by in my absence. Things are still insane, but I thought I'd better drop by and say howdy... maybe let y'all know what's goin'on.

We've spent the last several days in Tennessee interviewing and house shopping. I cannot express how much better this particular job is than the others offered. Its like winning the lottery. Its bloody well insane.

Not to mention its in middle Tennessee... in a great southron town that just happens to be world famous for the celebration of a dearly loved, if under appreciated, farm animal.

We knew we were gonna like this little town when we stopped for lunch at Stan's.... see... I picked up a menu and found that ol' Stan doesn't serve eggs. He serves Aigs. I also learned that Stan only smokes and serves left side hams... as it is an old-timers tale that when a pig scratches his right side, he's actually doing the Charleston... which is quite a workout... and when scratching his left side... he leisurely rubs a tree. Therefore the left side hams are far more tender.

I don't really think there is an ounce of truth in any of that... but the ham was damned tender... and it made me chuckle when I saw the lengthy explaination on the menu. DrWho proclaimed her mashed-taters the best resturaunt taters she'd ever had, and quite nearly compared them to her grand-mama's. This caused a hush to go over the room.

Just walkin' around that little town I had about 25 people wave and say howdy. Now ya see... that's the fundemental difference in the North and South. Its not just that the North is populated almost entirely of idiots... because... hell.... who doesn't like to keep a few morons around? No... the trouble with the north is.... everyone up here is continually pissed off. See? A happy-go-lucky moron is likeable... like Forrest Gump... he's fun to have around... But now... A pissed off idiot? Now see... that's just a bad combination.

Of course... it didn't hurt that it was 80 degrees and sunny... in January. That will change a man's attitude... let me tell ya.

Sunny... I've almost forgotten what that's like. See... You wouldn't believe it... but west Virginia is actually a completely different color that the South. Even when the sun's out... and there's not a cloud in the sky... it's still muted. It's not the bright yellow that I'm used to... there's something else there. The place always has a... a Matrix-like greyness to it. The further north you go in the state... the more noticable it becomes.

79 days.

79 days to freedom... When I shall be shed of this Godless hole once and for all.