Bad Joke Wednesday: The Tennessee Edition

In honour of our new house in Burns, Tn I thought I'd post some good ol' bad jokes! Major props to DrWho for digging these up while she was in the OR.

The owner of a golf course in Tennessee was confused about paying aninvoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.

He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from The Universityof Tennessee and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%,how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my earrings."

You gotta love those Tennessee women.


A group of Tennessee friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos forthe day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
"Where's Henry?" the others asked.

"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up thetrail," the successful hunter replied.

"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.

"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to stealHenry!"


A senior at Tennessee was overheard saying... "When the end of the worldcomes, I hope to be in Tennessee." When asked why, he replied he'd rather bein Tennessee because everything happens in Tennessee 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.


The young man from Tennessee came running into the store and said to hisbuddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?

"The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."


NEWS FLASH! - Tennessee's worst air disaster occurred! when a smalltwo-s eater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two University of Indiana students,crashed into a cemetery earlier today. Search and Rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as diggingcontinues into the evening

The pilot and copilot survived and are helping in the recovery efforts.


An Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked,"Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"


And Her Favorite


A man in Tennessee had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, andproceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behindit. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turnedaround and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.

The man replied, "I have a flat tire."

The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"

The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in thefront and flares in the back! I never did understand it either."