Texas Wins

Why?

What do you mean why? Their quarterback is named Colt McCoy. Seriously. Does anyone think the homo buckeyes have a chance against a kid like that? Colt's been reading defenses since he was six.... when he was born... his daddy said, "Name him Colt. He's gonna quarterback the Horns one day". You know how I know he said that?

Because every daddy in Texas says that. That's why. This just happens to be one of the few who found a wife good enough to let it go.