Local Barbeque

Seems like in every small town in the west, or southeast... there is some place that is perported to have the best barbeque in all the world... In Owensboro, Ky for example... there is Moonlite... the fact that the place has a helicopter pad out back should lend some credence to the claim though... Its not every day that you see a redneck little resturant sportin' one of those!

Apparently in Augusta the locals flock to a place called Sconyers... Upon Porcus's request... we decided to take a look for ourselves...

Not suprisingly we found Sconyers, on Sconyers road... duh... The place has a mud parking lot... not gravel... compacted... mostly dry... mud... and a rustic lodge look that had us quite excited about the prospects of the coming meal...

An iritated looking old blue hair took us to our table... and well... things started to go downhill... For example...

The bread on the table was actually Wonderbread... I know it was Wonderbread... because it was still in the bag... and when we asked for butter... we were told... "We don't carry that".

Butter? You don't carry butter? You'da thought we'd requested some arcane condiment common to Tibet! Butter. How in the Blue Hell do you run a restraunt and you ain't got butter? Who eats bread without it?

Joy and Julie both ordered the Ribs... I got the Beef plate.. and well... We shoulda known something was up when the only person in our party who'd been there before went with the turkey sandwich...

Understand that Julie and Joy have been exposed to some excellent ribs in their lives... and generally.. they expect to pick up a bone, and watch the meat simply drip off of it...

What they did not expect was a Goodyear tire laced with bones and basted with a small amount of sauce. None the less... that's about what they got.

Our "food" was brought to us on large plates... The food was sorta stacked onto them.. rice on the bottom... then some nasty... "hash" that all but defies description... then what ever you ordered on top of that... Not at all an apetizing presentation...

Lets discuss this "Hash".... Hash... It's best described as yesterdays dinner regurgitated. Apparently... they take the "meat" from the head of the pig to make it... the meat... from the head... You know what that means right? The damned snout. Nasty. Think bruswick stew... 'cept really really thick... and about as tastey as dry-rotted snake.

On the upside.. my barbequed beef was average... I've had much better... but it wasn't terrible... and Jen's turkey was downright good. If it had been a little more moist.. and laced with booze... It coulda been mine!

I confess though... I wondered why they brought Jen's sandwich out already on the bread... seems they coulda just taken a couple slices of the Wonderbread on the table and slapped some meat on 'em.

My wife even made the mistake of asking the waitress about dessert... and she was once again told, "We don't carry that." Like dessert is some specific dish... I mean.. they're already pickin' up bread at the grocery store... would it be to much to ask to grab a pie or two.. and maybe some butter while their there?

Worst of all... in the middle of southron Georgia... I find a damned Yankee Sword prominantly displayed!!!

Havin' eatin barbeque in Kansas, Texas, Oklahoma, Kentucky, and Tennessee... at some of the best barbeque places in the world... I can honestly say...

Sconyers sucked. Sorry Porky. No offense intended buddy. But I've had better Barbeque at Arby's... and chain resturants like Texas Roadhouse... it pains me to say.... are much much better.

If you can't stack up with the chains... you aint got a prayer against a place like Moonlite.