Monday, November 08, 2004

The Church of Horsepower: Vol 1.

The Sermon on the Dyno
- Deliver this day by God, through Brother Red

Our text for today is Proverb 427,

Thou shalt have more than 4 cylinders in your engine. Thou shalt have the ability to go ZOOM when thou dost "punch it". Thou shalt be able Worship at the Church of Horsepower. For this, my son, thou shalt have an American Muscle car or truck. And the Lord doth Grin. Brothers and Sisters of the Church of Horsepower, I have been asked by our good Brother Nate, a true adherent to our sacred covenant, to give a few words about the need, the need I say for speed. Today, too many have lost their way, and have strayed from the true faith, of Iron and Steel and Rubber meeting the Road, of peel outs and Cubic Horsepower. There is a need to remember how we got here…. From the flathead V-8’s of our forefathers, to the coming of the power and the muscle of the American Automobile. The heritage of the 283, of the 327, of the 302, of the 340 small block, of the 350 Chevy, of the 351, of the 383, of the 396, of the 400, the 403, the 427, the 428, the 429, the 454, the 426 Hemi and the 440 Interceptor. These are the source of the power and the strength of the true faith. The breath of life, coming from Holley. And Glass Packs, to let the ignorant learn of the power we possess.

The era of the small cars and of the curse of OPEC has diluted the faithful, due to the need for practicality, but we hold true to the faith. These interlopers have mocked the need for speed, and have made gas mileage paramount in their worship. This must stop!! We have seen a resurgence in the faithful, thanks to pilgrimages to places such as Malibu, and the shine of the street, the Woodward Dream Cruise. And those that never lost the faith, them blessed good ol’ boys of NASCAR….. brothers, we love ya. New deciples have stepped forward to carry the torch, Brother Lutz of GM, and the return of Brother Shelby at Ford…. The legacy continues in the tradition of Harley Earl, and Hank the Deuce and the boys at MOPAR… thunder comes down again from on high.

Again the names from the past return, the Corvette, the Mustang, the Goat, the Charger, combined with the legacy of those that went before, the Super Bee, the Camaro, and the Cobra, and the new breed of Viper and GT, show us the way.
Remember our creed, and keep faithful to it.
The commandments, as they were given, lo, these many years ago are as follows

Thou shalt have no other engine but an American Engine, and it, a V-8.
Thou shalt have the ability to go ZOOM when thou dost punch it.

I would like to thank Brother Red for these inspired words. Now I say unto thee... Go Forth... and Drop Thy Hammer.

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