I Don't Fly

I don't fly because just walking into an airport gives me the creeps. That syrupy sweet female voice on the over-head talking about FAA regulations is something far more Orwellian than Orwell ever drempt up.

I swear when they line us all up for the death walk, it will be to the sounds of a sultry 23-year-old vixen.

No where will you be treated so much like a criminal than at an airport. In fact, criminals are treated in many cases with a great deal more respect.

Did you know that lighters, and strike-anywhere matches are now forbidden in carry-ons? Lighters cannot even be packed in your checked luggage. Butane ya know... Dangerous stuff!

Toe-nail clippers! Don't you dare let us catch you with toe-nail clippers! Those things are deadly.

I refuse to subject myself to this sort of stupidity.

When I drive... I leave when I want. I take what I want. I go the route I want. I stop when I want... and it's cheaper! In June we'll be travelling from Morgantown,WV to San Antonio, Tejas. Never once did we consider flying.

I can't understand how someone can continue to fly under these circumstances. I mean... where's your line? If they bent you all over a table in the back and had a 200 pound Mammasan work you over with a strap-on before you were allowed to board... would you still fly then? Something tells me there would be letters of outrage... and horror stories of the mammasan who refuse to lube it...but that's about it.