Retraction

Now that i think about it... having a son will change your attitude about your daughters dating... Even as I was typing up my "plan" to deal with the first boy that came around... I started thinking about Jeb. Thinking about how I would feel if someone treated him the way we were talking about treating these kids. In truth... It's been my experience that little boys are FAR sweeter than little girls. Girls Jeb's age are just selfish, self-centered, and generally mean. In my whole life I may have met two or three that weren't. Jeb doesn't do anything for attention, but I've never met a little girl who didn't. He doesn't cry to put on a show, but every little girl I've ever been around does. He doesn't take things from other kids. He loves on his mom, and he wrestles with me. He's gentle with animals and other kids. He doesn't mind sharing at all. He offers his toys to other kids a lot. He even gives them his snacks.

In short.. every little girl I've ever been around was pretty much the opposite of Jeb. They take things from him, and scream and cry if he has the audacity to even play with his own toys around them. They fall down, then look around to make sure everone is looking, then they scream and cry. One time Jeb fell down on a concrete patio. A friend of ours saw him fall and said, "Brush it off buddy!" Jeb looked at him... then wiped off the patio. Then went about his business.

Hrmmm... I know how I would've reacted if someone had treated me the way we've talked. I would've told him my intentions from the begining. I would've loved to go to the range and shoot, but the moment someone brought a shovel out and told me to dig, I'da told him to kiss my white ass, and been on my way. I'll tell ya now what I'll tell Jeb about courtin'. I'll tell him to address the girl and her family with respect, like he would any other adult. I'll also tell him to ask the girl's daddy to talk to him privately before they leave, just to thank him for trusting him with something precious, and to explain his intentions. If after that, if he is challenged or threatened... He should thank them for their time, and come home.

The more I think of it.. The more I figure.. You all should pray to God almighty that a kid like Jeb knocks on your door, and by God when he does, you better welcome him with open arms... Because I can guaran-damn-tee his old man will choke you to death with your intestines if you so much as pluck a hair outta that boy's head... and that's a fact.