All Hallow's Eve

Kids... if you're lookin' for someone to rant about the evils of Halloween... ya may as well stop readin' now. Halloween is my favorite holiday. I love it. I love the costumes, I love scaryin' kids, I love the candy, hell... I love everything about it. If I had my way we'd all get two days off... One to prepare and one to recover.

I figure if stores can put up Christmas decorations in August, then I can talk about Halloween in mid-september.

I remember going to some awesome Haunted Houses growing up... but I guess the thing about Haunted Houses is... well... when you're 9 they are scary as hell, and you love it. When you're 18, they aren't scary but they're still cool. When you're 30 the scary starts all over again though.. cause now you're taking a kid through with ya. I believe I've been to the best haunted house ever, but that's a story for another day...

Over the next few weeks I'll be talking more and more about this stuff as I'm get psyched up for the big night. Let's start easy though... We've been threadin' about costumes that's as good place as any.

Some of my favorite costumes, in no particular order:

1) Julie's Santa's Nauty Little Helper. This looks like a black leather tunic... but it's short, and it has white fur here and there like a santa's outfit. It's cut LOW... showing much leg... and of course she wears black boots with it. This thing is Mrs. Santa's worst nightmare.

2) Xena. We have a friend named Amber... who looks like a feminine version of Xena. She works out all the time, and has very similar features to the actress, but hers are just a little softer... making her far more attractive. Amber has a homemade Xena costume that has been known to turn grown men into slobbering idiots.

3) The Gimp Couple. I saw this at the infamous West Memphis Party. One of the hottest girls in Julie's med school shows up in a black leather teddy, knee high black boots... elbow length black leather gloves... I mean... we're talking pornstar here. To make things all the more perfect, she's carrying a cat o' nine tails and leading around a Gimp on a leash! I mean this was a real Pulp Fiction style gimp! We were beside ourselves! At one point she lead him up on stage and beat his ass with that whip! Then of course later on I saw her out in the parking lot makin' out with a couple of guys... at the same time... remember people.... She's now someone's doctor. There's more to this particular story.. but not today.

4) Priest and Pregnant Nun. Classic. From the same party as the Gimp. Our buddy Jason "By God" Graham and another friend from med school show up like this. The costumes were perfect, and she really looked knocked up.... Ah well... Bane liked it.

5) Adam and Eve. Another Party... this one in Knoxville. Anesthesia Facutly member shows up with his hot little wife... both... naked apart from a few leaves. This would've been the worst costume ever if the chick hadn't been hot. Thankfully she was.

As for me... in the past my costumes have usually revolved around black cloaks and swords. The Devil... Vampires... I thought of putting on a suit with horns and a tail... and going as a Yankee. We'll see.

Now in the spirit of good fun... Nate's costume suggestions!

Julie: ahem.. about that "Santa's Naughty Little Helper" costume...

Spacebunny: Well duh... She should go as Allison from "Spacebunnies must Die".

Res Ispa: Jeff Davis

Vox: A Penquin of course

JAC: Crazed Biker. wait... that's not a costume...

Joy: Is an Egyptian Slave Girl Costume to much to ask? I hope not!

Astrosmith: Al from Home Improvement

Red: Young Grizzly Adams

Flannel Avenger: Coach K! (don't shoot FA, it's a joke man)

Michelle Malkin: Nate's Geisha Girl addition to the Harem

Jeanne: Can you say "I Dream of Genie"? I knew ya could.

Elena: Musik Mafia Groupie

JamieR: Pimp. Nuff Said.

Kristy: I can't resist the Sarcastic Comedy of seeing her in an Angel costume.

Sarah: Femi-Nazi!

Will, Wes, Sean.. Eddie.. Shane.. I didn't forget about ya it's just that well.. it's still an R rated blog and your suggestions may have gone a little to far for that.