Thursday, September 23, 2004

And now for someting completely different...

Gah... all this talk of Malkin and Rather has me fantasizing about choking to death on my own bile. So... lets talk about something else... How about this...

The Correct Way to make a grilled cheese sandwich:

I'm consistantly amazed at how many different ways people can make something that is so simple. We're talking about bread, butter, and cheese. One would think this would be pretty universal. Not so. In light of this dreadful delima, I've decided to offer my 3 cents.

1) Turn the over to high, and put a tablespoon of butter into the pan you're gonna use.

2) Spread copious amounts of butter onto 2 slices of WHITE bread. Grilled Cheese Sandwiches are made with white bread. The only possible exception is Sour-dough, which is actually just a variant of white bread anyway. But back to the butter... You do NOT add more butter to the pan and then hope the bread sops up enough. You put the butter on the bread yourself. This not only tastes a thousand times better, it also helps prevent burning.

3) Put 2 slices of cheese (american, cheddar, or colby) between the newly buttered bread, and set them in the pan.

4) Sizzle Sizzle Sizzle

5) Flip often, like every 15 seconds or less. Once the cheese is melted, it's done.

If this is not how you do it, you're doing it wrong. Certainly you can add stuff to this method, but if you are applying the butter in some other way, or using some funky cheese, you are screwin' up an American Icon and you should be ashamed. The worst thing you can do is to go with the "no butter on the bread, only in the pan" method. If that's the only thing your kids have ever known, you can rest comfortably in their ignorance... but the first time they get a grilled cheese made correctly, they will forever think of you as a completley incompetent cook.

If I wanted to test someones skill in a kitchen.. I would have them make me a grilled cheese. If you can't make the simple stuff taste good, why should I bother with the rest?

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