The Movie Slump
I'm sure folks all over California are wringing their hands and frettin' over the problems of "The Industry."
That's what they call it out there ya know... The Industry. I know this because my psycho hippy neighbors actually spoke to me. Have I mentioned that the damn dirty hippy next door looks exactly like the old coot that invented the time machine in Back to the Future? I'm pretty sure its not him... but I have no way of bein' sure.
Anyway... the Damn Dirty Hippies (DDH) caught us outside and proceded to prattle on endlessly about this and that... They talked of how much they didn't like California... Of course... that perked me up a bit. Ah but as expected... they proved to be morons yet again...
See... they spent a good 15 minutes talking about how much they hated the name dropping of California... and they talked about the pretention... how everyone asks if you work in "The Industry".
Then of course... they proceded to drop names... you know their daughter knows the personal assistant of Dru Berrymore! Now imagine me... standing on my front porch.... havin' to listen to this crap. I tell ya... I've been prayin' for self-control lately and it paid off. I didn't shoot nobody. Thank ya Lord!
What is it with Hollywood today anyway? They are all tore up over the recent box-office slump. Well hell... it don't take a genius to figure this out... They've run out of ideas. Crimeny... How many remakes have come out in the last two years?
Do we really need another Herbie flick? Another Bad News Bears? Did "The Longest Yard" really need to be sodomized like that? Maybe its just me... But I aint droppin' 8.50 to go to a bad remake of a movie that I've already seen before!
Where's MIB? Where's Independence Day?
Sure sure... Batman Begins was awesome... But the comic flix are always gonna sell. Well... ya know... I admit though... I haven't seen F4 and I probably won't. I know I know... Jessica Alba is hot like the very fires of Hell... but man.. I just never liked the Fantastic Four. They're just to damned cheesy for me. Like Marvel's version of Superman.
Its always stuck in my craw that the single greatest super-villian ever... Victor Von Doom was wasted on these twerps. Ok seriously... is there a lamer super power than bein' all stretchy? It's stupid... and well... creepy.
You know the boys at Marvel figured out that his power sucked to... because in the comics he practically never uses it.
What was I talkin' about again?