Wednesday, December 30, 2015

The Dumbest Thing On The Internet

That's it.   Close up shop.  Hit the lights and lock up on your way out.   We have found The Dumbest Thing on the Internet.

I thought 2 girls 1 cup was the sickest stupidest thing depicted...  but after reading this... I had to reconsider.

Here ya go kids.  

50 Reasons Why I Don't Drink

Because lets face it...  when you go looking for the truly stupid... you have to find some idiot do-gooder in the Christian Ghetto.  

Lets look at some of our favorites from this gem.

3. Alcohol is a depressant.  Anything that depresses should be avoided at all costs.

So...  apparently this idiot can't tell the difference between psychology and chemistry.  We can also conclude that she doesn't take allergy medicine... or you know...nyquil.  Because apparently those things make you sad. 



Ya know what...  I can't.  I can't even do this.   I wanted to go through and destroy this idiot line by line... but I just can't bring myself to do it. 


The Stupid is Over 9000.

31 comments:

WaterBoy said...

Many of those 50 are merely restatements of previous entries, too, so she is lying to get to a higher count. Doesn't seem right for a pastor to do that, either.

She is like many other dry alcoholics I have encountered over the years -- I can't handle it so neither can you.

August said...

I seldom get hang overs, but I often wake up too early, dehydrated, with a profound sense of embarrassment after drinking- even when there is nothing to be embarrassed about. I suspect this happens to other people and is responsible for some of the more odd ball Christian stuff that has happened over the past 2000 years or so.
Consider what would happen- while drinking the alcohol, inhibitions are lowered, but then in the morning testosterone and various neurotransmitters are low- and an inordinate sense of repentance ensues. Not so grave matters begin to be considered grave matters, and folks become scrupulous.



Nate said...

i'm convinced this psycho prays for forgiveness every time she wipes her ass.

Bill said...

I guess sometime between the wedding at Cana and the Last Supper Jesus must'a slipped in something about the evils of drink? Did I read that right?

And during Pentecost, when the Disciples were accused of being drunk, their response was "It's only 9 am, everyone knows we don't start drinking until noon".

Bill said...

Hey Nate, have you tried the Knob Creek Smokey Maple yet?

Had some over Christmas, pretty good if you cut it with a little water and some regular Knob Creek.

Res Ipsa said...

I admit it. I clicked the link. The first thing I read was "Pastor Jaimie Morgan" under the caption. I didn't read anything else. There was no need to. Anytime you see the word "pastor" followed by a women's name, you can pretty much ignore anything she has to say.

Res Ipsa said...

She is like many other dry alcoholics I have encountered over the years -- I can't handle it so neither can you.

I have no problem with people who don't drink, or who stop drinking because it is causing them problems. I think that's great. I also don't care if they share their stories or try to convince others to avoid the problems they experienced. Again, that's their story and they have a right to it.

For folks like myself, it doesn't fit. On average I drink the equitant of a beer a month and maybe 3 bottles of wine and half a bottle of liquor over the course of an entire year. My total annual consumption of alcohol doesn't ever rise to the level of a drink every other week. Same thing with cigars, I think I've had 4 this year.

It's one thing to enjoy an occasional indulgence its another to "need" a drink or a smoke to get through the day.

Bill said...

This:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ao8L-0nSYzg&

Clint said...

I come from a religion that encourages tee-totaling. Then I converted to Orthodoxy, where my priest introduced me to Scotch. We give each other wine (or liquor) as gifts. I had started down the imbibing path before my conversion, and am sure glad I did it.

Even my wife, who used to be 100% anti-drinking, has come around. She was very upset with the bourbon maker, who shall not be named, turned all homo. She likes the Knob Creek (have not tried the Smokey Maple; that will go on the list for next trip to the liquor store).

Susan said...

"Anything that depresses should be avoided at all cost."

Most American entertainment post Cosby/original CSI era depresses me. So I have been sticking with the older classics and lots of British entertainment.

Blue Bloods, NCIS and Parks & Recreation are about the only things recent that I have watched seriously out of Hollywood. And I do that on Netflix. I am taking the pastor's advice, avoiding all things depressing.

WaterBoy said...

Bill: "I guess sometime between the wedding at Cana and the Last Supper Jesus must'a slipped in something about the evils of drink? Did I read that right?"

Sure, you know right after Jesus turned the water into wine, he tipped over the tables and spilt it all on the ground, cursing at the wine-drinkers who would defile the bodily temple...wait...what now? Wrong scene?

WaterBoy said...

Res Ipsa: "I have no problem with people who don't drink, or who stop drinking because it is causing them problems. I think that's great. I also don't care if they share their stories or try to convince others to avoid the problems they experienced. Again, that's their story and they have a right to it."

Nor do I, but that isn't the case here. What was ostensibly supposed to be '50 Reasons Why I Don't Drink' very quickly became '50 Reasons Why All Christians Shouldn't Drink, Either'. Like I said, the reasons why she quit had to do with her and her alone; not everyone has the same physiological reactions to alcohol as she does, nor do they view the spiritual aspect in the same manner (as she pooh-poohs all Biblically-based arguments for consumption). She can't handle it, and assumes everybody else is just as weak.

Nate didn't fisk all the items listed, nor will I. But I will point out one specific error she lists: item #23 (Alcohol kills brain cells). According to various studies, alcohol does not kill brain cells at all. It can damage the ability of those cells to communicate with each other and can (temporarily) inhibit the growth of new cells, but existing cells remain alive. And the harmful physiological effect of alcohol on the brain implied by this item conveniently ignores the potential positive effects on the brain which moderate alcohol consumption can realize, as noted in the Italian study that saw lowered risk of mental impairment in people aged 65 and older.

Again, the key is moderation, which this person apparently thinks is not possible for others to sustain (as noted in item #33).

I view evangelical (non-religious sense) alcoholics who have given up drink the same way I do evangelical atheists who have given up religion. Good for you, if that's what you want...but Live And Let Live and spare the world your preaching of false information.

Res Ipsa said...

WB,

I went and read it just to respond. Having said that, I fall back on my first point: Anytime you see the word "pastor" followed by a women's name, you can pretty much ignore anything she has to say.

What was the very first political agenda item women in America pursued after getting the vote? Do you remember? It was the abolishment of drinking. It's hard to know what the men were drinking to give them the vote, but maybe it was better they stop drinking it.

According to her bio-line she has a masters degree and is working on a doctorate in theology. Yet she is unable to make the biblically informed decision that it is impossible for her to fulfill the duties of a "pastor". Why would anyone give any credence to her opinions on anything when she is unable to follow the basic teachings of her professed religion?

Most of her "reasons" aren't reasons but pithy statements. I'll grant that some of the points have merit. The whole list is just her own personal rhetorical device to share why she is better than people that don't do it her way. It's a form of self righteousness. Since its "her story" so to speak, you can't argue with it. It's almost entirely subjective to her criteria for application.

Take point #43. (I agree with the point, BTW) The point is valid in and of itself. Application is key. What is she doing posting articles on the internet? If she is "separate" why is she participating in technology and media? Why does she even have an internet capable computer?

Expecting a self proclaimed women pastor to have anything logical or biblical to say about anything is a contradiction and illogical.

WaterBoy said...

Res Ipsa: "What was the very first political agenda item women in America pursued after getting the vote? Do you remember? It was the abolishment of drinking. It's hard to know what the men were drinking to give them the vote, but maybe it was better they stop drinking it."

Unfortunately, it didn't go down this way. The 18th Amendment abolishing (most) alcohol was ratified on January 16, 1919 and took effect on January 16, 1920. The 19th Amendment wasn't ratified until August 26, 1920. The men of the time only had themselves to blame for both debacles.

Though women certainly were the driving force of the 18th via the temperance movement, they had no say in it electorally.

BTW...you know which state/territory was the first to grant women the vote constitutionally?

Wyoming. The original feminists. ;)

Res Ipsa said...

I knew that. It's also the only place in the world where women getting the vote didn't immediately turn to lefty looney land.

Nate said...

Women have always been a political force in America. We drink coffee instead of tea today because the women folk were so pissed at the limeys.

Raggededge #0057 said...

I'm with Res, she's a woman who calls herself a "pastor", therefore, she's a fucking idiot.

Bullitt315 said...

Women have always been a political force in America. We drink coffee instead of tea today because the women folk were so pissed at the limeys.

At least they got that one right.

WaterBoy said...

Res Ipsa: "It's also the only place in the world where women getting the vote didn't immediately turn to lefty looney land."

So it IS possible for women to vote responsibly, after all. Interesting....

WaterBoy said...

Nate: "Women have always been a political force in America. We drink coffee instead of tea today because the women folk were so pissed at the limeys."

See? If that had been men deciding, we would be drinking beer instead of either of those.

Morning mug of beer.
Afternoon beer and scones.
Union-stipulated beer breaks.
Starbucks Beer Grande, Venti & Trenta.
Dunkin Donuts beer & donuts.

Women ruin everything.

Bill said...

Man. This commenting system needs a "Like" button, just for WaterBoy's post.

WaterBoy said...

The best part of waking up
is Foster's in your cup!
♪♫

Nate said...

i know it sucks Bill... still better than CoComment though.

Nate said...

i've heard precisely 1 good female minister. She was, without a doubt in the top 5 or 10 I have ever heard. Truely excellent Gospel sermon. I was stunned.

Bill said...

Oh, this commenting system ain't bad. I can read it on my phone, it doesn't lose posts like CoComment did, and I don't even mind the robot click - zero spam so far.

Did you watch the video I posted above? I've heard this same thing from several doctors and other medical folks, does Dr. Who have an opinion about that?

cheddarman said...

50 reasons why women should not be pastors because they ruin everything given the opportunity

Res Ipsa said...

So it IS possible for women to vote responsibly, after all. Interesting....

Possibility is not the same as probability.

Nate said...

Bill

When you look at addiction... there is obviously to me a blind spot. I mean why is cocaine super addictive... because chemistry... and yet other behavioral things are also addictive... which have nothing to do with chemistry.

We have addictions to everything from facebook to gambling.

None of that has to do with chemicals creating bodily cravings.

RC said...

Pastor Jamie Morgan is the Lead Pastor of Life Church. She became a follower of Christ at 26 years old and was miraculously delivered from alcohol, agoraphobia, fear, anxiety attacks, depression and nicotine. She came to Life Church in 2006 and pastoring is one of the greatest joys of her life.

I'll bet her sermons are FULL of HER story.

Married, one son, pastorette. How can any sane man attend a female-led church?

Bill said...

The chemical angle appears to be wrong. The vast majority of people can use cocaine, heroin, meth, whatever, for months and months, and then just quit - with minor withdrawal. I don't think it's chemical.

Bill said...
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