Thursday, June 30, 2005

Get Off the Phone

Here's a tale ripped from Its a classic...

I live in this little borough. It is small enough that there are no stop lines before the crosswalks at the traffic lights. So I pull up at this one light, I'm in the left side of the left turn lane which is pretty much the middle of the street. My front tire is completely behind the painted line of the crosswalk. My right hand is lightly on the brake as well as my right foot is holding the bike in the rear. In the right lane next to me is silver grey Ford Crown Vic with municipal plates. I did not bother to register who or what might be driving.

As I'm waiting for the light to cycle, this woman dressed in an expensive business suit steps off the curb on my right side. She is talking on her cell phone, with it held up to her left ear. She looks to her right (away from all the traffic she just stepped in front of) and rapidly starts to cross the street. And she is loud I can hear her talking to her assistant about filing some forms for some settlement.

I tuned her out and looked back up at the left turn only traffic light. All of a sudden, bang the VFR lurches to my left pulling the bars out of my hands and this lady smacks her face on street! The cell phone bounces about twice and breaks into several pieces and I heard her sunglasses crunch on the concrete.

She shrieks like a banshee and jumps up only to stumble on her shoe’s broken heel. Her knees are bloody, as is her left hand along the outside edge and her nose looks pretty badly scraped. She screams at me "what the F*&k do you think you are doing. I'll have you arrested for Assault. Somebody call 911, this idiot just tried to run me over!"

I notice that She still has the grip of her briefcase in her right hand (but only the grip) and her knuckles are bleeding as well. I also scan the intersection and see a couple of people on the sidewalk now dialing their cell phones.

With my left hand I reach in and cut the key, putting it in my pocket. I turn and look back to make sure that the guy behind me sees that I'm not going anywhere. The guy driving is pounding on the steering wheel laughing histerically.

She steps right up to the side of my motorcycle and starts screaming at me "Get the F... off that thing, you Son of a B!tch, Get off that F..king bike NOW! or so help me I'll kill you M...F". But even if Iwanted to, I could not get off the bike at that instant because she is so close I would have to knock her down to swing my leg off.

At that moment the silver crown blasts across the street and screeches to a stop. The door opens and this guy in grey slacks and a sport coat gets out. He jogs back across the intersection and pulls the woman back about six feet, getting his body between us. He turns to me and says, "I saw you pull the key, don't move," as he starts to force the woman to walk back over to the curb. I hear the sirens that our cops use to clear intersections, and see the flashing lights in the rearview.

He's trying to get her to sit down on bus stop bench, but she just keeps trying to jump up and I guess take a run at me. I put my gloved hands on the tank, still trying to comprehend what is happening. The cop pulls up behind the guy behind me, and motions that he should go around. When the guy does (still laughing) the cop pulls forward some before he stops and gets out. He's halfway to me, when the woman starts screaming "He hit me with that motorcycle, deliberately...." then starts sobbing again. "don't move a muscle," the cop tells me and goes over to check her out. He's talking on the radio the whole way over. I see him start talking to the gent that got out of the grey car, they seem to know each other.

About then a second unit shows up. The second cop walks up on my left and bellows,"why are you still wearing that helmet, Take it off. And get off the bike."

"Wait," yells over the guy in grey. The second cop holds up his hand and bellows, "don't move". The guy in grey walks back over to me. "Straighten that front tire" the guy in grey says, and the second uniform backs up a couple of steps.

I pull the VFR bars back to straight and look at the grey suit. He stands over the front tire and looks down a the cross walk paint for a minute. "Okay, put the kickstand down, get your helmet and gloves off and the officer will need your license and insurance." he says as he starts to walk back to the curb.

I shuck the gloves and helmet, put the stand down carefully and start to pull out my wallet. The cop standing next to me yells over, "what am I charging him with?" "Nothing, we just need his info for the report and then he can go," says the grey suit.

The woman screams "What, You can't do that, I don't know who you think you are, but I know the mayor and the chief of police, they won't let that maniac get away with this!"

The dude in the grey suit says, "I don't know who you think you are lady, but I am the police chief, and I saw you walk into his front wheel because you were too busy on your cell phone. He was not in the cross walk nor was he moving when you fell over his front wheel." That's when she just totally lost it and started bawling like the end of the world was coming.

Needless to say in another twenty minutes I was told I was free to go and given a copy of the incident report form in case I needed to report an damage claim with my insurance company.

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