Yankee Women

I offer you a letter to the Editor of the Asbury Park Times:

Hunting's not sport

Why aren't more people talking about the real issue with Vice President Cheney's hunting accident — sport hunting? The ranch where Cheney was
hunting provides quail that are raised and released for the sole purpose of
being hunted. Sport hunting is an oxymoron. There is no sport in hunting. It is
an outlet for those with misplaced anger and rage. That this was downplayed
comes as no surprise to me.

Shooting and killing birds with pellets is not only inhumane, it's
barbaric. Many birds are only wounded, and suffer. All living things feel pain
and deserve to be treated with kindness.

The National Rifle Association and fish-and-game interests are powerful
lobbies in Washington, constantly putting their own spin on hunting and gun
violence. They even urge parents to hunt with their children. What if Cheney had
shot a child that day? Would that have been much ado about nothing?

Countless forms of recreation do not involve the killing of innocent beings. Had Cheney been engaged in a more positive activity, his friend wouldn't have been critically injured. Violence is too prevalent in our society. Cheney serves as a terrible role model for our children. We need to raise our children to respect life and have empathy for all living things.

Nadine Hemy

You see... sometimes its far better to just let these people talk. You can win a debate without ever opening your mouth. I mean... to this nutcase, the fact that Cheney was shooting birds is more important than the fact that he shot a human being. Being.. did ya catch that? Notice how she refers to birds as "beings". And you wonder why Vox doesn't want women to vote.

This letter... this letter right here...

This is why we hate liberals.

NateMail: Powder Measure

Coy Getman of RCBS writes:

(on volumetric powder measure producing more accurate rounds than mass)

Some say yes, some, no. Volumetric measuring is done for black powder, mass for smokeless.
Now for thoughts "according to Coy": The stick powders do not come through a measure well, some of the sticks are sheared while others are pushed down into the reservoir, the result is different each time and not conducive to accuracy. The spherical powders tend to measure well as they are most often not sheared when measuring, therefore volume and mass will vary, little. I would say for the stick powder, use weight, for spherical, volume, but check periodically by weight.

What say you boys? I think ol' Coy nailed her down pretty good.

The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where awoman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entranceis a description of how the Store operates.

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributesof the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however,a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may chooseto go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs. The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking, and help with the housework."Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the signreads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men here. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

A new wives store opened across the street. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The third through sixth floors have never been visited.

Dealing With Kalifornia

JAC and I were bs'in' the other day... talking about Kalifornia and its deplorable ways. Particularly the way they impose ridiculous restrictions on products sold there. Both of us agreed that we'd sooner forsake then entire Kali market than go through the trouble of producing a differently configured vehicle for one state.

We don't own a business though. Its one thing for us to say this. Its another for the owner of a small business in Murfreesboro, TN to write off one of his biggest markets. When Kalifornia outlawed public ownership of the .50bmg, the owner of Barrett Rifles did just that. From barrettrifles.com:

Barrett cannot legally sell any of its products to lawbreakers. Therefore, since California’s passing of AB 50, the state is not in compliance with the US Constitution’s 2nd and 14th Amendments, and we will not sell nor service any of our products to any Government agency of the State of California.

It doesn't get much clearer than that. If the state will not allow its citizens to purchase Barrett Rifles, then Barrett Rifles will not sell its weapons to the State of Kalifornia.

See those?

We call those balls.

The Myth of Stare Decisis

With two recent supreme court confirmation hearings under out belt, I suppose its fair to assume that the witless masses now have some idea of what precident is. Those who follow politics like it was some blasphamous horse race saw Alito and Roberts grilled on the subject. The Democrats on the committee wanted to make sure that the fast one they pulled in the 70's didn't get to close a look. Meanwhile the Republicans were coming ever so close to letting the cat out of the bag.

And to what furious feline do I refer?

A simple thing really. The term Stare Decisis refers to precident. Stare Decisis sounds better though. One of the best ways to pass one over on the great unwashed is to give it a latin name. To them, it sounds like something from God Himself. What? You didn't know God spoke Latin?

Let me waste no more words here. Stare Decisis is a myth. Its nothing more than a judge's trick. Its the fancy latin name for the cover over his ass. Its not a limit on judicial power. When a court wants to overturn something, they do. All the precident in the world won't stop them. The great thing about precident, for them, is its usefullness as a pressure relief valve. When they are under the gun about a decision they don't want to make, they can always fall back on good ol' Stare Decisis. The people here terms like that and their eyes glaze over. They assume its some gross legaleze that they have no desire to comprehend.

Stare Decisis isn't in the mind of judges. It's in the toolbox. It's something to fallback on when your spine fails you. Its something you ignore otherwise. No court ever refused to overturn law it thought was bad, in the name of Stare Decisis.

Dare I Hope

When I saw this, I got chills. Then... the great ogre that is my subconscience pessimism grabbed the wee optimist flicker.... shock it violently... body slammed it... kicked it 4 times... and threw it back into the gulag.

It's Hollywood.... You just know they're gonna make Leonidas gay.

By Low. Sell High.

Back in 2001 my wife and I purchased our house for $118,500. We just signed a contract to sell it for $192,000.

Tell me... my good liberal friends... Does that qualify as "excessive profits"? Should I, in the name of fairness, sold my house for say.... $150,000? Just you know... because I really don't need that much money?

Hey... I said there was a housing bubble. I didn't say you shouldn't be taking advantage of it. For crying out loud people... if you live in one of these area that real-estate has gone psycho... in the name of all that is good in the world... SELL! SELL NOW!

People lose their butts, more often than not, because they don't know when enough is enough. They get greedy.

Casinos count on it. You never get up 500 bucks and walk out. You stay. And you end up giving it all back, and then some.

In terms of the market people get so caught up on selling at the exact peak that they hold on to long, and get left holding the bag. Think about where these people could've been if they'd had the sense to cash out of the tech boom in the 90s? Well.. here's a hint... Mark Cuban did it, and ended up buying an NBA team with all the cash he made.

He was one of the few though... most folks were left with a bunch of worthless paper.

What's the housing market like where you are? Do ya know what your house is worth? Maybe its time to cut and run. Maybe not. Something to think on though.

The Wonderlic

One of the more entertaining aspects of the NFL combine is the wonderlic test. For those of you who have never heard, it's an intelligence test, and a very good one. One way to think about it, is sort-of like a spiral staircase. The questions at the begining are very simple, and they get harder as you go. There are 50 total questions, and you get 12 minutes to answer as many as possible. On the wonderlic as score of 20 equates to an IQ of 100.

Agents drill their players for weeks or months, often making them take the test 2 or 3 times per-day in the weeks leading up to the daft. Huge money hangs on a good score. There are teams, like the Rams for example, that simply will not take a guy with a bad score. On the otherhand its widely known that the Vikings actually seek out players with scores of 15 and below.

Vince Young, the hot qb prospect from Texas took the test this weekend.

He got a 6. A little quick math indicates that Mr Youngs IQ would then be somewhere around.... 30? I don't know that for a fact... I am just speculating... if 20 = 100 then 6 = 30. I'm not sure that the scoring is perportional, but I am sure that Vince Young wouldn't have a prayer of explaining how I figured that out.

Seriously. 6. 6! We're talking about a droolin' idiot here. Someone who is about as mentality capable as a box of rocks. You can claim I'm bein' a jerk or whatever, but the plain truth is, this dude a tard. He may not look like a tard... He may talk "street"... but he's still a tard.

What was this kid doin' in college? If you're one of those people who said he should stay in school... I ask you... Honestly... Why should a tard be in college? Do we really want our colleges graduating tards? Who's gonna work at McDonalds?

I mean... I assume Mr Young was in good standing at the University of Texas. Must be some pretty rigorous academics down there in Austin! Was he doing book reports on The Foot Book?

Of course I'm being ridiculous right? Everyone should go to college... everyone... tards... morons... folks who really have no desire to be there... everyone needs to go. Because lord knows, you can't get a job if ya didn't go to college.

After all... how can anyone be expected to colate, perform a myriad of amazing tasks with excell or powerpoint, if one doesn't have a deep background in 3rd grade math and 1st grade reading comprehension?

On a more entertaining note... Jay Cutler's score isn't widely known... but we do know he jumped in there at the bench press and threw up 23 reps at 225 pounds. That was good enough to best all but 1 of the running backs who lifted this weekend!

Vince Young drops like a stone because he screwed up a test... Jay Cutler is skyrocketing because he's shown some serious athletic ability.

This is the NFL.

ATF: The Continental Edition

I say the Continental Edition... because I'm sitting here in my smokin' jacket... sippin' shampanya.

Oh yeah... How you doin' baby?

Let's starting things off right. Apparently JAC has decided to make an issue of my fondest bourbon. Even going so far as to compare it negatively with the swill that is Kentucky Tavern. One might well expect such a transgression to lead to some great blog war. In my estimation this instance actually casts a great deal more light on JAC's simple palate than it does on the unimpunable quality of my beloved Makers Mark.

For those who started drinking a few hours ago... that was just a long drawn out way of me tellin' JAC to kiss my white ass. But I digress...

Understand that I am in no way claiming that Makers Mark is the equal of something like Rare Breed. Its simply laughable. But just because something isn't as good as the best there is, doesn't mean it isn't enjoyable. Bang for the buck and all that.

On a far more disturbing note... my quite full humidor is acting up. This is putting several of my dark lovelies in harms way, and quite needlessly. If you think I haven't lost sleep over the fact that the humidity level is far below par, you should think again. I've gone so far as to add a soaking wet paper towel (distilled water of course) to try to help out. I'm quite conserned. We'll see how it goes.

On the firearms front... There's clearly a Lee vs. RCBS debate waiting to break out here... with the RCBS snobs lead by Gregg, and the God Fearing supporters of all things Lee lead by JAC. I come down on the Lee side of things myself, and have been, much like JAC, known to sit and use a lee loader at the range on the same case over and over. You would be suprised what sort of groups this will produce. My brother and I, would not.

Now... what you don't realize is that approximately 2 hours has past since that last paragraph... and I've had a bottle of sssssssssshampanya pretty much to myself... so on that note... i'll leave you. But before I do....

Let me remind you that you should be listening to Chris Ledoux... or at least Brahms... unless its a Nat Light kinda night... where in you should be listening to Sammy Kershaw sing about Beer, Bait, and Ammo. Stick with those boys and you'll do fine.

Now eat.. drink... and be well... pat whatever fine lovely you find yourself in the company of on her ample rear end, and blame it on me.

Y'all keep 'em straight.

Post Number 911: Time Well Wasted

Its come to my attention that more than a few of you are still spending far to much time in some vain and pointless attempt to fix this country. This is more than a little disappointing. I sincerely thought we'd covered this already.

Listen carefully dammit... I don't want to have to type this up again.

The country will not be fixed. It's not going to happen. We've decended into a level of stupidity and self-destructive idiocy that has rarely been breached in the history of man. Well... at least outside of Africa.

Politics has been reduced to a team sport. You've become emotionally invested in one side or the other. You're like a bunch of mad british soccer fans. You love one side loyally and you hate the other unconditionally.

You read blogs... think... discuss...

For what? To what end?

You're wasting your time on topics that no one has the slightest business being interested in. The Current Events Snobs of the day continually look down thier noses at the sports page, all the while oblivious to the fact that they are obsessing over the comics. After all... The warmonger president is threatening to use his first veto to allow a bunch of terrorists to take over some of the largest ports in our country, while the peace-nik moslem loving hippies have pulled themselves up from the barrell long enough to squeel about something other than the lack of islamic lubricant. Not to mention the fact that the Vice-President shot a lawyer in the face while bird hunting... drunk!

Friends... Pull your head from your asses. There is a world out there to enjoy. There are children to play with. There are motorcycles and wave runners to ride. There are mountains to climb. Unseen trails to explore.

There is more to life than the comic pages that make up section A over the New York Times.

These things are much more entertaining when you view them seperation. When you disassociate yourself from either side... and simply see it for what it is.

High Comedy.

Spring approaches. Better that we should feast up mostly raw meat, drink arcane concoctions from the dusky hills of Kentucky and Tennessee, Ride the trails unridden, and of course...

Rut!

Take His Word

"Gun control? It's the best thing you can do for crooks and gangsters. I want you to have nothing. If I'm a bad guy, I'm always gonna have a gun. Safety locks? You will pull the trigger with a lock on, and I'll pull the trigger. We'll see who wins." — Sammy "The Bull" Gravano, whose testimony convicted John Gotti.

Nortons

Sucks.

That is all.

Anarchy, Vigilanteism, and the Rule of Law

John A. Rosenberger: 1st degree child abuse. Sentence suspended. 5-years probation.

This man didn't spend a day in jail. Understand that the legal definition of 1st degree child abuse is "knowingly and willfully causing serious physical or mental harm to a child. 5-years probation.. for serious damage.

Jason Nolan Brooks: Criminal sexual conduct on child. 2 years probation

Again. Not a day in jail. I couldn't find any specifics or generalities on what this charge usually means, but you can bet it was a plea deal anyway.

Robert Orval Sypolt: Male Child 13-17 - 2nd Degree Sexual Abuse served 3 months in a correctional facility - on 9-23-99 placed on 6 months home confinement then will serve 5 years probation.

Buggering little boys? No problem... you'll be out in 3-months.

Leonard David Keith: Female Child 6-12 - 1st Degree Sexual Abuse and Sexual Abuse by A Custodian served approximately 5 years and 8 months in a correctional facility and given 1-5 years probation.

Screwing your 6 year old daughter? No problem. You'll be out and doing it again before she's in middle school.

David E. Danks: Multiple Victims - 1st Degree Sexual Abuse sentence suspended and given 5 years probation. 2 female child victims between 6-12 years of age.

And hey... if you really like little girls, look at this guy! He's convicted of screwing two girls under the age of 12... never spent a day in jail. Not one day.

Gene Larry Maxwell:Multiple Victims - Sodomy with Person Under 14 or with Force, Lewd or Lascivious Acts with Child Under 14 in the state of California served approximately 5 years in a correctional facility.

Maybe you like ass raping little boys? Careful! that could cost you 5-years. Think back to the year 2001 people. How long does that seem? I guess we should be happy though... I for one am suprised that screwing little boys up the butt is illegal at all in California.


The preceding is a list of the child-predators within 1.5 miles of my house in little ol' Morgantown, West Virginia. I chose to use Morgantown instead of Dickson because WV actually takes the time to tell you what these bastards did, and how long they served for it. TN just gives you a name and an address. You don't know if the dude screwed his 16-year-old girlfriend two days after he turned 18, or if he raped 32 girls under the age of 10. Give WV credit. This is info we need to have. Tennessee is dropping the ball.

But lets get to the point shall we?

Answer me honestly. If that was your little girl that David E Danks had sex with... what would you do? When you sat in the court room, and heard that judge give him a suspended sentence and probation... what would you do? What would you do when you learned that the man that fucked your 7-year-old daughter wouldn't spend a day in jail for it?

This isn't a made up scenario. This is real. This happened.

You're on the jury. That little girl's daddy is on trial putting a .45 inch hole David E Danks' forehead. He doesn't deny it. Would you convict him?

I'll tell you right now... The Neo-Cons will tell you that this is a terrible situation... but we must honor the rule of law... because if we don't... it's just anarchy. Shooting the man is murder. Murder is illegal. Daddy must go to jail.

To the neo-cons I say what we have now is anarchy. The only legitimate role of government is to protect the weak from the strong. A society that allows child predators to go un-punished, or are insignificantly punished, has no government. It is, by definition, anarchy. Shooting that bastard in the head isn't murder. Its justice. Its justifiable homicide. Justified by what? By the fact that he screwed the man's daughter. Good enough for me.

Last week a man shook a one-month-old baby to death. Fractured skull... crushed ribs... I want you to think about how flexible a new born's bones are... I want you to think about the force required to produce those injuries.

And now consider this...

No one has taken that piece-of-shit out back and shot him in the head. What do you think he'll get? suspended sentence? 2 years in jail and 5 years probation?

You call that a justice system?

I'll take my chances with the He-Needed-Killin-Defense.

Bleg

DrWho could use some help. She's made up a pamphlet... sort of a FAQ on Epidurals. She'd like to get some feedback from some non-medical types. Let us know what ya think... helpful? not helpful? Idealy this will be given to pregnant women when at their first OB visit. Right now, there is literally no information on anesthesia being given at all.



Will labor be painful?
The pain experienced during labor is different for every woman, but most women will experience some pain.

What is an epidural?
An epidural is a tiny catheter that lies in your epidural space (right next to your spinal cord) that is capable of delivering medicine (a local anesthetic) that numbs the nerves that carry the pain sensations from labor.

How common are epidurals?
Here at WVU, __% of laboring patients receive an epidural. Approximately one hundred million women each year get a labor epidural.

What are some reasons that I could not get an epidural?
Unless delivery is imminent, you cannot be too far along to have an epidural. As long as you are going to deliver the baby during this hospitalization, there is no such thing as not dilated enough to have an epidural. However, if you are not dilated to at least 3-4cm, then the epidural may make labor last longer. If you have a pregnancy related condition called pre-eclampsia, a blood laboratory test to determine your blood’s clotting ability will have to be completed. If your blood does not clot well, then you would not be a candidate for an epidural. If you are on blood thinners or have severe liver disease, then you might not be a candidate. If you have symptoms of a blood infection or a rash in the small of your back, then you might not be a candidate. HIV is not a contraindication for an epidural.

What can I expect during the placement of the epidural?
First, your anesthesiologist will ask you some questions to make sure it is safe for you to have an epidural and get your permission. Then, you will be given some fluid through your IV. You will most likely be sitting on the edge of the bed facing away from the anesthesiologist. You will have some monitors placed (blood pressure cuff on your upper arm and a clip on your finger). The anesthesiologist will press on your back feeling for the right space. He will then clean off your back with a cold cleaning solution. A drape will be placed on your back. He will then put some numbing medicine under your skin with a small needle. You will usually feel a little pinch and then a stinging sensation that goes away very quickly. After that, you might feel some pressure sensation or a twinge down one of your legs. Both of these sensations are normal, but let your anesthesiologist know if you have them and which side you felt it on. Also, let your anesthesiologist know if you feel like he is working on the left or the right instead of directly in the middle. The anesthesiologist will use an epidural needle to find the epidural space, and then place the epidural catheter through the needle. He will then remove the needle leaving only the catheter. The catheter will be taped into place and a test dose of medicine given. If the test dose is negative, you will lay back down. After you get a bolus of medicine through your catheter, your legs will go numb and be difficult to lift. Your contractions will get shorter and less intense. It may take 10 to 20 min for the pain from your contractions to go away completely. The time from the first needle stick to the time you are comfortable is on average blank minutes here at WVU. Blank% of patients here at WVU thought that the procedure was better than they expected.

Is there a way to test the epidural?
Epidurals are a “blind” procedure, meaning we cannot actually see where the catheter goes. We give a test dose of medicine to better guide us to the accurate placement of the catheter. The signs and symptoms we are looking for after the test dose of medicine include a buzzing in your ear, numb lips, dizziness, and numb legs or buttocks.

What are the side effects?
The most common side effect is hypotension (low blood pressure). Blank % of our ladies here at WVU experience significant hypotension. Fluid through your IV is given to prevent this; also, there are medications that we can give if the blood pressure gets too low. Hypotension can cause nausea (sick at your stomach). Nausea occurs about 20-30% of the time. Backache after labor and delivery is a common side effect. This can be from several causes including pushing, straining, or an epidural. About 18% of patients having epidurals will develop a backache. This is thought to occur from the bruising from the needle stick. This will usually go away in a few days to few weeks. Depending on the medication your anesthesiologist uses, itching may be a side effect. Certain kinds of medicine can be given to help with the itching. If you have a history of cold sores, then let your anesthesiologist know because it may prevent him from being able to use a certain type of medicine. The next most common side effect is a headache at about 1%. This is from spinal fluid being encountered during the procedure. This is not dangerous for you or the baby; doctors sample spinal fluid for diagnostic purposes all the time. Your anesthesiologist will let you know after the epidural is placed if this is a complication that is likely to occur. Even if spinal fluid is encountered, only 60% of patients develop a headache. A technique similar to an epidural called a blood patch is 85-90% effective for alleviating the headache. Even if you don’t want the blood patch, most headaches will go away in a week or two. Occasionally, patients will experience shivering; however, patients without epidurals also experience shivering.

What are the risks from an epidural?
All of these risks are so low that no one is able to give an accurate percentage of likelihood that any of these will happen. Complications include bleeding, infection, urinary retention, seizure, difficulty breathing, epidural abscess, allergic reaction, nerve damage including paralysis, high spinal and cardiovascular collapse resulting in death. A high spinal is where medicine travels too far up your back and it effects the muscles you use to breathe which makes it difficult for you to breathe. We may have to breathe for you and possibly do an emergency caesarian section, but this is extremely rare. Another very rare risk is an epidural hematoma, which is a pocket of blood pressing on your spinal cord. This complication, if accompanied by neurological symptoms, would require surgery on your back to prevent permanent damage. Epidurals may increase your temperature to a low grade temperature, but this is not from infection.

Will an epidural increase my chances of needing a caesarian section or slow down my labor?
Although it is a frequent topic of debate, there is no scientific evidence, despite extensive studies, to show that epidurals increase the rate of caesarian sections or instrumental deliveries such as forceps or vacuum deliveries. Epidurals may slow down early labor by 20-40 minutes if it is placed when you are less than 3-4cm dilated. It does not slow down labor if you are past 5 cm dilated. It can sometimes even speed labor up because it allows you to relax more when you are not in pain.

What is a Combined Spinal-Epidural?
A combined spinal-epidural is where in addition to a normal epidural, a small amount of medicine is also placed in your spinal fluid. The advantage of this is that you will get almost immediate relief of your contractions with minimal to no leg weakness.

Can I have a walking epidural?
Although we have several techniques here a WVU to minimize your weakness in your legs, we do not currently allow laboring mothers, even with the best of motor control, to get out of bed. It is too important to have continual monitoring of the baby.

What are the benefits of an epidural?
Wonderful pain relief! With adequate pain control, you can rest before you have to push. Some ladies are so comfortable that they actually sleep! You are able to breathe better which improves oxygen supply to your baby. Laboring patients who choose to go with narcotics through their IV are not allowed to have any more medicine when it gets close to time to have the baby for fear that the baby will have breathing problems upon delivery. With an epidural, you will have good pain control during labor and even through delivery. The epidural does not need to be stopped when it is time to have the baby. Good pain control just makes the birthing experience more satisfactory and even enjoyable. Also, in the event that you may need an emergency caesarian section, your epidural can be used for a quick anesthetic. The epidural can also be used if you want your tubes tied.

Will the baby get any of the numbing medicine?
The babies of mothers with epidurals are exposed to a very tiny amount of the medicine; however, it is much less than babies of mothers who had intravenous narcotics such as Demerol Fentanyl, or Nubain. Studies have shown that there is no difference between babies born by moms who had epidurals and moms who did not have epidurals when comparing sleeping, nursing or pooping. Your baby will not be born numb!

Do epidurals ever fail?
About 10% of epidurals will fail. There are several techniques that your anesthesiologist can use to try and salvage the epidural without having to replace it. About half of those that fail will not need to be replaced. If delivery is not imminent, the epidural can be replaced. Some ladies experience “hotspots.” These are small areas, usually on your abdomen, that are not completely numb. Sometimes epidurals are one-sided. This is where only your left or right side is numb. There are techniques that can improve this, or the epidural can be replaced. As it comes time to push, you may have a pressure sensation. This may be uncomfortable. However, it is a good sign that you are close to having the baby and that you will be able to feel each time you need to push, which is a good thing.

Will I be able to control the amount of medicine I am getting?
Here at WVU, we have what is called a PCEA (Patient Controlled Epidural Analgesia). It has a button attached to the pump that is continually giving you medicine through your epidural catheter. You can push the button to give you extra medicine. As long as you are uncomfortable, you cannot overdose yourself because there is a lockout. However, you should not push the button if you are not in pain. Only you know if you are uncomfortable, so only you should push the button

Classic

So the other day Jeb comes up and says, as only he can...

"Daddydidyouheardat?" He says it just like that. All one word.

"What was is it buddy?"

"heh heh... Jeb pooted. Just like mommy does."

"Did you poot loud?"

"No! Not loud! Just quiet."

"Mommy poots quiet?"

"Mommy poots quiet... so not wake up baby Eli."

PLUG!!!!

My friends! The boy's finally gotten off his butt and jumped into the ring! Res Ipsa's got a blog. The theme alone is worth your time... particularly if ya miss 70's tv. Stop by if ya would... I know Giraffe will at least be happy about it.

Y'all come!

Bravado, Arabs, and China

There is something in our society... something weak. Something that makes people automatically associated aggressiveness with strength. We see it in the everyday assumption that white people can't win fights with blacks... because young black males demonstrate extremely aggressive behavior. This is a mis-interpratation of course, as one should regard such behavior as a large neon sign reading: coward here. This is the behavior of one trying to boast his way out of a fight he doesn't really want.

On a large scale we see this in the Muslim world. When there is 5000 of them, and no one to fight back, they are as brave as can be. They'll burn an embassy to the ground in a heart-beat.

But notice China, where the violent riots are not riots at all, but demonstrations. No buildings burning there.

Why?

Because the Red Army would love an excuse to kill every one them, and they know it.

Back in 1989 we heard all about the elite Republican Guard. We heard how powerful the soviet armed Iraqi army was.

Squish.

Now we hear the same things about Iran. Even Vox has fallen for it. Iran is not Iraq they'll say.

Squish.

The Arab myth of military prowess was exposed completely by Israel in 1967. We learned everything we need to know. They're all talk. They talk and talk and talk... until you punch them in the face... then they squawk... and whimper... and cry... and surrender... tails tucked.

The only middle-eastern army worth a damn is the Egyptian Army. Its the only one who's boys kept their heads under fire.

The rest are just just lapdogs... lookin' to get stepped on.

They're behavior in China is the tell-tale sign. They'll push around anyone they want! So long as they know they won't get pushed back. They have a comfort with certain cultures. Muslims believe whites to be largely cowards... so they feel free to behave anyway they choose. On the other hand, they do not doubt the brutality that China is capable of.

Brutality is how you earn these people's respect. You demonstrate will through violence. It is the exact opposite of western culture.

Its time we understood that, and responded accordingly.

10 Post Dayton Thoughts



1) Jamie McMurray really needs to learn to bump draft. No telling how many people he nearly killed Sunday. You don't bump on the curves kid... and you nudge folks down the straights... you don't ram them.

2) Why won't anyone help the 8 car?

3) I loved Tony Stewart's explaination on wrecking Kenseth... "He started it on lap 20. I finished it." If Tony wasnt' one of the best drivers in the world, we would've had the big one when Kenseth damned near spun him. Give 'em Hell son.

4) Kurt Busch really bit his tounge. Boy might be learning something.

5) Jeff Green didn't.

6) The Bud Boys are clearly the class of the field when it comes to pit stops. They smoked everyone all day long. One owner said, "If we'd had green stops all day, the 8 car would've lapped the field." I'm not real sure that way hyperbole.

7) The 2 and the 12 may work better this year than last year. Anyone see that coming?

8) The Charger's still behind.

9) Ryan Newman owes his second place finish to Kenny Shrader, who saved his butt by dodging him on pit road.

10) The Fox broadcastings are still better.

11) I will not be constrained by subject lines.

12) Tony wasn't driving aggressive. He was driving mean.

13) I like mean.

14) I will not bother changing subject lines for the sake of accuracy.

Daytona

Let's go racin' boys!

It's gonna be a wild year... May as well kick things off with a prediction though right? I'm going with the big name no one is talking about. Well... almost no one. At least until he and his teamate lit up happy hour yesterday. Of course I'm talkin' about Dale Jr and Truex.

Jeff Gordon was to busy rubbing his aching vagina to both practicing... but he did give his fingers a rest long enough to watch a little. He pointed out that Jr was looking real good. I for one am hoping Gordon was talking about Junior's car and not looking for a latenight shower partner.

Look for Kevin Harvick to make some noice tomarrow too. He's the darkhorse pick.

Late in the race I expect Stewart, Truex, and maybe ol' Happy to link up with Jr and follow the big dog to the front.

Gordon and his queer buddy Jimmy Johnson won't have a prayer when that happens.

Chevy will dominate. Again.

UPDATE

Well it was all set up like I thought... Dale Jr baled out to make his run... but as has been the case the last couple years... no one wanted to go with him. I don't know why Smoke didn't jump out there with him.... I really think the two of them could've taken the Little Johnson. Still... Great race... awesome to have racin' back!

Alternate ATF


Booze...

and SNL: Best of Christopher Walken.


NEVER QUESTION BRUCE DICKENSON!!!


and a new X-box game of course... Evil Dead!!! With Bruce Campbell playign ASH!

I'm the king baby!

Global Warming

I strongly recommend reading this piece. I have little faith in geology but I like the idea of using history to predict the future. This former NASA scientist claims that in just a few years sea level could rise by 25 meters. Think about that...

The coastal population centers of the US would be removed from existance. San Fransisco, Los Angeles, New York, Miami, Boston... All gone. The death toll could be in the hundereds of millions.

HA!

What could be better?

Church

Brothers and Sisters!

We are here for one reason, and one reason alone... To share our love... of Horsepower!

I present to you... The 2007 Dodge Challenger:



And now let me turn our service over to Reverend Red... who will offer testimony... and wisdom... from his...

The Sermon on the Dyno

Our text for today is Proverb 427

Thou shalt have more than 4 cylinders in your engine. Thou shalt have the ability to go ZOOM when thou dost "punch it". Thou shalt be able worship at the House of Horsepower. For this, my son, thou shalt have an American Muscle car or truck. Brothers and Sisters of the Church of Horsepower, I have been asked by our good Brother Nate, a true adherent to our sacred covenant, to give a few words about the need, the need I say for speed. Today, too many have lost their way, and have strayed from the true faith, of Iron and Steel and Rubber meeting the Road, of peel outs and Cubic Horsepower. There is a need to remember how we got here…. From the flathead V-8’s of our forefathers, to the coming of the power and the muscle of the American Automobile. The heritage of the 283, of the 327, of the 302, of the 340 small block, of the 350 Chevy, of the 351, of the 383, of the 396, of the 400, the 403, the 427, the 428, the 429, the 454, the 426 Hemi and the 440 Interceptor. These are the source of the power and the strength of the true faith. The breath of life, coming from Holley. And Glass Packs, to let the ignorant learn of the power we possess.

The era of the small cars and of the curse of OPEC has diluted the faithful, due to the need for practicality, but we hold true to the faith. These interlopers have mocked the need for speed, and have made gas mileage paramount in their worship. This must stop!! We have seen a resurgence in the faithful, thanks to pilgrimages to places such as Malibu, and the shine of the street, the Woodward Dream Cruise. And those that never lost the faith, them blessed good ol’ boys of NASCAR….. brothers, we love ya. New deciples have stepped forward to carry the torch, Brother Lutz of GM, and the return of Brother Shelby at Ford…. The legacy continues in the tradition of Harley Earl, and Hank the Deuce and the boys at MOPAR… thunder comes down again from on high.

Again the names from the past return, the Corvette, the Mustang, the Goat, the Charger, combined with the legacy of those that went before, the Super Bee, the Camaro, and the Cobra, and the new breed of Viper and GT, show us the way.
Remember our creed, and keep faithful to it.

Thank you brother Red for those inspiring words.

Friends... our prophecy is coming into fruition before our very eyes. The pictures you see are of the new 2007 Dodge Challenger. It is rumored come complete with a 6.1 liter 510 horse power Hemi.

Let us kneel.

Deer Cartridges, Fishin', and Other Grave Topics

Setting aside the wisdom of picking various cartridges based on terrain... let's tackle this head on. Where do ya stand boys? I spect you westerns are gonna favor the big magnums... y'all being out amonst the rocks and grass... deer got nothin' to hide behind. We Southrons have things a might tougher... as we rarely get a chance to take more than 50 yard shot. We find ourselves fighting thick brush everywhere ya look.

Now JAC makes his favorite plain. He's a girly .270 man. Of course... any sensible man of the South knows that a bullet that small is just gonna get deflected off some branch and end up killing some unsuspecting hunter... who probably was hunting with a .30 caliber... like all decent folk do. Ok ok... I know... that .270 wouldn't really kill him... but it would sting like hell.

I favour big bullets. Heavywieghts fly straighter... and hold their momentum longer. They are less likely to be deflected, and less affected by the wind. I prefer things like... 8mm Remington... and if we're talking about magnums... I'll go with 8mm Remington Magnum. Why? 65,000 psi for one. Big bullet... haulin' ass... Means I don't have to chase a damned thing. Whatever gets hit drops right there. Well... actually it probably gets knocked back about 4 feet... and you'll most likely be able to stick a thermos in the exit wound.

I won't be to hard on JAC. What we have and what we prefer are not always the same. I reckon the boy would sooner shoot a deer, or anything else for that matter, with a 375 Ultra Magnum. Why? Because... it's the boom stupid.

That said... I'll stick with my 99. You can name a rifle or two thats more usefull than a lever-action .308... But not many.

I aim to take her boar hunting when JAC and I go... Course he'll be carrying his off-brand .454 Casull. Fag. Damned ugly Ruger... course ya can't blame him.... he don't like the mounts on the Raging Bull... and he's so damned old he can't see without a scope.

Can you tell I'm a little irritated with JAC? Hey... it's not because he just got a great deal on the motorcycle I've been lusting for... Bastard.

Boys will be boys...


First off credit where credit is due... I totally ripped this video off of JAC's blog. Sorry. I can't help it. Its insane... I've watched it like 20 times already this morning.

It's like motorcycle porn. The amazing thing is seeing how playful these guys are. I mean... they're riding their asses off... they're doing things that mortal men simply do not do... and yet... they're just playing. Notice the crashes... the guys get up... and they aren't worried that they're hurt... their pounding the ground because they're pissed that they don't get to play anymore. They're pounding on each other like its Bristol... but they ain't in stock cars... they're on two wheels... and they're goin' roughly 50mph faster than the boys at Bristol to boot!

Men... watch the video. See why the boys of MotoGP shame all other racers... save only those of the Baja 1000. Please pay particular attention at the 4:04 mark... where you can feast your eyes on the most awesome powerslide I've ever seen.


Girls... watch the video. I give you my word... you'll be squirming in your seats. Why? Because what's better than watching a bunch of guys be guys?

Watch it. Love it.

Animals

Fortune Cookie Wisdom

It is easier to keep half a dozen lovers guessing than to keep one lover after he has stopped guessing. - Helen Rowland

I don't say we all ought to misbehave, but we ought to look as if we could. - Orson Wells


Ok... let's talk about Valentines Day protocol...

Listen carefully. Valentines Day is not about love. Its about fun for the girls. The best thing you can do is give them something to talk about with their friends. They love it. If that something has a mildly naughty twist to it... all the better.

Some basic rules:

- Don't humiliate yourself. This is the biggest mistake guys make. They write lame poetry, or sing.... or make some sappy statement in front of a crowd. To a girl, this is like a Harley Davidson. It looks a lot more fun than it is. Some of them, especially the young ones, think they want you to do crap like this. Don't. Doing so is committing man suicide. They'll think you're a pussy for the rest of your life.

- Don't go psycho overboard with the gift. It's about fun. If you have to buy her a rock, do it for your 10 year anniversary.

- Its not about you. She's probably not going to get you anything. If you complain about this, or expect it, or show even the slightest hint that you're disappointed, you're a big pussy.

- Suprise her. Always suprise her.

Now... some suggestions... Ya can't go wrong ording something and having it delivered to where-ever she is on the relevant day. Doesn't matter if its flowers, or a gift... have it delivered. Where-ever she is, there will be chicks... and they will have almost as much fun as your girl will. They love this stuff. The net is a glorious thing boys. Use it.

So what did DrWho get?

I sent her mildly-naughty pajamagram, and had it delivered to the ORs. Its a set of pajamas with "Devilisous" written on them. The box had some naughty fortune cookies... naughty dice... a "Do Not Disturb" sign like you see in hotels, and a little card that said, "Why don't you slip into something a little more comfortable?"

Cheesy fun kids. They love it.

Happy Valentines Day Girls

First of all let me stongly suggest that any of you ladies who feel slighted send the relevant male by here tommarow. I will be posting glorious and specific advice on the proper way to handle these occasions. I wish I could be specific now... but sadly I cannot. The fact is DrWho reads this while she's at work... and I will not spoil her suprise merely for your benefit.

It's a grand day... but 38 days until we're paroled... and it recently occured to me...

Our new house has a tiki bar in the back yard... complete with hot-tub and TV... you know what that means??

That's right baby...

I can play X-Box while I'm in the hot-tub!!!

The Great Nafta Debate

Few people know that the most watched show in TV history was actually a debate... but it wasn't a presidential debate. It was between AlGore and Ross Perot... and the subject was the North American Free Trade Agreement.

As is usually the case for these things... the main topic was hardly a focal point. Gore won by flustering Perot with his needling interupting style... and this took Perot out of his game.

Gore won. Plain and simple.

Or did he?

Style points aside... is a debate really about being convincing? or is it about being right?

Gore took command early, accusing Perot of opposing the trade deal because he stood to profit personally (from the family’s Alliance Airport), and challenged him to open the books on his financing of the anti-NAFTA campaign. This of course was completely unfounded, and total BS... it didn't even make sense... but it rattled Perot and the audiance loved it.

Gore also argued that the free trade would create jobs in America, and increase profits of companies in America.

Perot famously stated that we'd hear a giant sucking sound created by all the manufacturing jobs headed south.

So who was right?

13 years later the case seems pretty clear. NAFTA is a failed experiment. The illegal immigration problem that Gore claimed NAFTA would solve has only worsened. Businesses like GM and Ford... hell... whole industries have moved south.

Free trade is a good idea.

NAFTA was a bad idea.

All the fancy debate tactics... charts... and zingers won't change that.

France Surrenders to Dick Cheney

French Foriegn Minister Ima Pusi announced France's formal surrender to Dick Cheney on Sunday. In his prepared statement Pusi made the French position clear. "We'll take it anyway he would like to give it us." the French diplomat said.

"The display of military ability and projection of force was such that it could not be ignored. We won't sacrifice our entire existence when the odds are so hopelessly against us. We will join Cheney and work under him with great pleasures."

France also surrended to Puxatony Phil last week after the famous groundhog appeared to snarl.

Priorities

So umm...

We bought a house yesterday. A house that we have never actually stepped foot in. No doubt most of you will be shocked... but we actually decided to scrap the farm idea for now. We're just to far away. We don't know enough about the place. Much research needs to go into the location and the land, so instead of gambling... we decided to go with something cheaper, something we know we can sell easily.

In the end... Its a nice house. Its got plenty of whistles and bells... but its only on an acre. I will have neighbors.

On the bright side... the money that would've gone to pay for a new tractor... will now pay for a new boat, and a wise man once told me... a man on a tractor is working. A man on a boat ain't.

I guess in the end it came down to getting an awesome little farm with a great house... or getting a great house with no land, and being able to buy thousands in gold every month.

I like gold.

I like it a lot.

The Olympics Suck



This is a picture taken during the opening ceremony of the Olympics.

Gee... I can't imagine why no one gives a shit. Freaks.

Have A Nice Day!



Nothin' cheers me up like a picture of a dead commie.

Now if we could just get this picture on a t-shirt...

Speaking of

Fairy Tales...

I'd love to believe this story. I really would. Unfortunately it defies not only logic... but physics. In such circumstances... we must either conclude that God Himself made those cell connections, or that its all propaganda... a great story created to make you feel nauseous every time you dare question the official story.

The folks on that plane didn't make those calls. It just didn't happen. Given that... the logical question is; who did and why?

The answer will come out one day... and it will likely involve three little letters...

C. Y. A.

Chicken Little's Guide to Judicial Review

In a speech in Kentucky Justice Steven Breyer spilled the beans, and I don't think he even knew it. While discussing his judicial philosophy he said:

"Judges can consult six basic criteria in assessing a law: the language of the law, the history of the text, tradition behind the text, precedents, the purpose of the law and the consequences of letting the law stand or striking it down. I tend to emphasize purpose and consequences."

So... it doesn't matter what the Constitution says. What the congress meant to do, and what might happen if a law is struck down are the main concerns.

Its this attitude that runs rampant through the judicial branch of the US government, and can be found in every state and county as well. Here in West Virginia for example the constitution allows specifically for a lottery, but nothing else... but these little hotspot gambling places have popped up all over the state offering video poker and such.

Video poker is not a lottery.

But when the case came before the Supreme Court of West Virginia... where they debating the meaning of the word "lottery"? No. They simply said, "The state gets millions of dollars from these machines. What tax do you propose to replace that money?"

Chicken Little in a black robe.

Breyer admitted in his speech that his judicial method was less objective than the conservative approach of focusing on the language of the Constitution... but it certainly doesn't bother him. But it should.

See... with subjectivity comes personal power, where as objectivity creates a separation... a distinction from the source of the power. When you are being subjective about a decision it is personal to you. It is your taste and your feeling that determines the outcome. When you're being objective you realize that you are not the one who is in control... it's the system. Objectively 2+2 will always be 4... even if 4 is scary. Even if you really want it to be 3.

The problem with this purpose and consequences method of judicial review is that the judge who uses it has effectively set himself up as a king, and turned back the clock a thousand years. He's set aside the written law in favor of his own personal guidance.

The law doesn't determine the out come. He does.

This is the folly of the judicial left. They trade the most truly progressive innovation of the last 2000 years, written law, for the very tyranny it was created to avoid.

And they do so... in the name of progress.

Time

I simply do not have enough of it. We've sent Joy off... back down to Georgia... so gone are the long nights X-box. Blasting through the jungle while Charlie explodes in a glorious red mist.

The house is on the market now... and we've been showing it... so you can imaging that's a pain in the ass. Showing a house is bad enough... showing one with 2 kids 3 and under is a nightmare. Keep the clutter up. That's what the agents say.

Right. Yeah. I'll get right on that. No problem.

Moron.

This is even omitting the bizarre feeling of leaving your home so someone else can walk around and judge it... which isn't nearly as bad for me as it is for DrWho. She isn't really disturbed by it though... mostly she just wonders if we remembered to secure all the guns.

Anyway... we're leaving in 43 days... we haven't sold our house... and we haven't even picked out a house to buy.

Typical.

On the otherhand... I know exactly what motorcycle I'm going to buy and what accessories I'm putting on it.

See? That's called prioritizing baby.

The Liberal Mind

Christians tolerate their religion to be slandered and run the mud by Hollywood daily. We see our religion parodied by shows like Will and Grace in the many offensive ways... and the response is bored silence.

But to a liberal... Christianity is a violent evil religion that's responsible for murders and wars all over the world.

Muslims are apparently perfectly willing to throw the whole of Europe into war over a couple of cartoons in a couple newspapers. Shit the bed! Someone drew a picture of muhammad!!! Kill'em all! Islam is the most reprehensible mainstream religion in the world today. They slaughter.. torture.. rape.. and ruin... all out in the open... with video evidence. Of the handful of wars that have actually been faught over religion in our world's brief history, Islamic expansion was responsible for practicly every one.

But to a liberal... Islam is a religion of peace.

Cartoons. Drawings. They go to war over this?

These are not people. These are animals... something perhaps slightly more developed than the shrub next to my porch.

I'm supposed to give a damn?

Umm...

No.

Official Super Bowl Prediction

Seahawks 30-somthing - Steelers something-in-the-teens

Best commercial... go with the favorite... Budweiser will come through again.

***UPDATE***

Good to see the crappy officiating that's plagued this year's post-season continue.

Joy's Here

I'm getting a backrub.

HA!

SCOOP!

Somehow the major media outlets have failed to report this, but I've discovered that Jerome Bettis is actually from Detroit.

Do What Thou Wilt

From MR:

One of SR's old roommates and good friend from college had her husband pass
away from a heart attack on Jan 16th.While a loved one dying is always painful
what makes this a very trying situation is that they have five children, the
oldest 7 years old and the youngest 5 months old. To add to their difficulties,
they are currently in Jerusalem. They had been working as volunteers for the past three and a half years for an organization called Shevet Achim –
Light to the Nations.

The main role of Shevet Achim is to help infants and children with
congenital heart defects get the surgery they need. While this in and of itself
is a commendable task, the children they were helping were not Israeli, they
were Palestinian.

This presents a difficult situation in that Israeli doctors were potentially helping the enemy. All that being said, they were truly followers of Jesus, we see this as obedience to his command to "Go and do likewise" as the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37). Since they were volunteering, missions work, they were not paid for their work. You can read about the impact that Philip had on some of the people around him on two different blogs. Here and here. Also there is additional information on the website of the church they attended, Narkis Street Congregation and the funeral service that was held. This is a message that Philip gave at his church, "Testiphony".

There are a couple others there as well. I only met Philip once, but he
came across as being wise. This message shows a bit of that wisdom. A few things...

1) Martha and the kids need prayer. She has not yet decided if she will be
staying in Jerusalem or not. Staying there would be so like Martha.(To give you
a quick background on some influence in her life... her father use to smuggle
Bibles into China back in the 60's, 70's and 80's. He may still be doing it
although no one will talk about it now).

2) Simply put, they need money (Philip would take odd jobs to bring in
extra money beyond their support, they do not have that "extra" income
anymore). And speaking of support I am not even sure they had regular
support other then from friends and family. There is a secure
server on the Shevet Acham site, where you can specify who the donation will
go to if you (or anyone) does feel led to give. If you feel led to, would you be
willing to post this?

Any prayer would be greatly appreciated. Philip Berg is survived by
his wife and five children:Martha Berg, Asher (7), Adam (5), Nathaniel (4), Sara
(2), and Anna (5 months).

Thank you,

MR


It's hard for me to post stuff like this. Its hard for me to even read it. Its just a struggle I have within me. I read this... I research Shevet Achim and I can't help but look at the pictures of those little kids... and I am ashamed to admit that the before anything else... I wonder how many of them will repay the generosity shown to them by the organization by blowing themselves up on a bus.

But we are not called to judge. We are called to give. They are responsible for what they do. We are responsible for our own action and only that.

Due Diligence.