Man Jewelry

Before you even ask... the answer is no.

No. No. No.

We don't wear jewelry. For our purpose jewelry is defined as anything you wear purely for looks that serves no other function. So for example... cuff links are not banned by this rule because cuff links, like belts, are required by some attire to function. Tie tacks can similarly be allowed. Watches are obviously allowed, as they serve a function.

Another notable exception are historically accepted cultural items. For catholics... a St Something-or-other (The Patron Saint of Slow Recall... he's not very famous) medallion or a rosary. These items should be worn with care though... as its a very thin line. The religious necklaces I mentioned for example shouldn't be seen. If we see it to much... we assume you're not wearing for any religious or cultural significance... you're wearing it to make yourself feel pretty.

There are two other exceptions worth noting... gifts symbolic of some enormous life altering event... this is wear wedding rings come in... and jewelry won or awarded for some actual achievement, or to denote membership. So...Super Bowl Rings are completely acceptable. You won your Fantasy Football league? good enough. Your lodge grants you a certain level and you are to wear a ring to denote that level.... fine. You're a marine and you want a ring that says "marine" in gold.... I would rather see ya get a tattoo but I don't think the jury would convict.

Now this is an important post. I wrote it because the bastard jewelry makers have gotten tricky on us. See... Men don't give a damn about flashy gold jewelry. Historically... except for the dandies among us... its not been particularly bothersome to ignore jewelry.

I am seeing things slacken up though. I see guys with black titanium rings with carbon fiber inlays. Its black... therefore its masculine... and look! Carbon Fiber! Oh its true... Carbon Fiber draws in sport bike guys like bugs to a zapper. But look up here at the rules. Do you see any exception made for jewelry that is made with masculine materials? No. I don't care if its tungsten. I don't care if its got titanium cables on it... or black diamonds that were formed in a super nova. Yes.... that's all cool. And when you do something... achieve something... then someone can buy it for you... and then you can wear it.

Otherwise you're just wearing it to look pretty... so it may as well be carbon fiber panty hose. Or italian shoes.