Friday, July 27, 2007


A: Modelo Especial

T: Cumberland Twist. Coppenhagen is for pussies. Sugar dipped shit for women and boys.

F: Ruger Vaquero... Winchester Model 94... both in .44 mag.

Lem stopped by with a question tonight. He asked... Keltec SU-16 or Mini-14? To me... this is like asking which you'd prefer... a rusted up hammer with a broken wooden handle that was gauranteed to miss every nail you swung at... or a brand new eastwing.

A gunsmith with any kind of standards would refuse to work on a mini-14. He'd send it off to a plumber.
Beemers Rule

See that? That's the trip computer of a 2006 BMW 1200 RT. Note the temperature. Brrrrr.
This is what I love about BMWs and their riders. They are just that; riders. They aren't grown men playing dress up, pretending to be biker badasses.
Beemer guys and Harley guys... they're probably both lawyers. The difference is the Beemer guy is actually out riding his bike... putting miles in the saddle. The Harley guy is spending his time shopping for assless leather pants... talking harley fashion with his friends.. and talking about taking another 10 minute "ride" downtown.
Now... does this description fit all Harley owners? Well no. Of course it doesn't. But its become so common that it is a justifiable asumption, and one the few decent harley owners have to acknowledge. There simply is no more plausible deniability. To many pussies... and to many women are riding Harleys now.
To me... the most telling aspect of all this is the typical harley response to an insult to the capability of his bike. For example... any time I point out that one can ride at sub freezing temperatures on a BMW 1200 RT... or that one can ride for 6 hours straight without getting sore... the response from Mr Harley Dude is always the same. He just smirks and says, "Why would you want to do that?"
And then it occured to me...
Show a woman a rodeo... or the dirt trails... tell her about your next great adventure... ya know what? Unless she's a truely rare female indeed... she'll smirk and say, "Why would you want to do that?"
She just doesn't get the sheer glory of it.
Neither do the Harley boys.
The Downside of the Internet

I've always read as if I were starving and the mere written words, regardless of quality, could sustain me. I can count on one hand the number of books that I've started but never finished... like the vast majority of you... I just have to read.

That said... lately I've been considering the internet... the proponderance of the written word there... and the overdose of it all.

Believe it or not I've been trying to work out a serious novel... to organize it... and I am finding increasing difficulty. I'm begining to wonder...

The majority of the writing on the net is complete crap. Everyone has a blog.. and they write at break neck speed... even though given their actual ability they should probably be firmly limited to a paragraph or two per day.

I'm using a lot of words to say something pretty simple right now... which is one reason I'm working on a novel and not a short story... but the point is... what if all this exposure to crappy writing is influencing us in ways we don't necessarily appreciate?

If hours spent reading quality writing can improve one's writing ability (assuming one has some in the first place) then isn't it possible that hours spent reading crap could be harmful?

A wise man once said... the blogosphere is made up of people with nothing to say, and an undeniable urge to say it. That's not a ringing endorsment... and indeed... I find myself more and more turned off. The number of blogs that I regularly visit shrinks continually. I'm not saying that the blogosphere has jumped the shark by any stretch... I'm just wondering if millions of monkies pounding on keyboards really will produce a great work of literature. Because so far its not looking to good.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Pro Football Prospectus, Pacman, and Ron Mexico

Unbelievable. I'm reading through this book... which is like.... crack for stat geeks... and what do I find?

PacMan Jones was the best cover corner in the NFL last year.

In yards per catch... he was number 1 in pass defense. In total effectiveness per down he was number 2. He was in the top 2 or 3 in virtually every statistical catagory they tracked. In short... no one threw at him... and we they did throw at him... it almost never went well for them.

Few people realize how much Pac's suspension will hurt this team. In middle Tennessee people are so blinded by their hatred of him they can't even see what an awesome corner he is. They make stupid statements about his height... and they basicly blame all of Lamont Thompson's blown assignments on him.

Ah well... no one said you had to actually know anything about football to be a fan.

The truth is... on the field... the Titans have two of the most exciting players in the NFL; Vince Young and Pacman Jones. The Truth is... Goodell's stupid policy is hurting the fans... hurting the fans by robbing them of the chance to see one of the most exciting young players in the league.

Do you really think I give a damn if Pac spit on someone? Or what he did at a strip club?

Let me just clue you in folks... the city of Nashville has a couple hundred thousand thugs. What it doesn't have is a world class corner... and the best return man in the NFL.

One more thug doesn't change a think in this town.

But one world class corner.... one... insanely gifted return man... yeah... that DOES change things here.

So... Mr Goodell... Piss off. You're a hypocrit and a scumbag. You bend the rules for your superstars. First you claim that Pac was suspended because of his history... then you ignore Mike Vick's history. You know... Ron Mexico? Captain Water Bottle? Flicking off his own fans?

By my count this is his 4th strike... not his first.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

1 Week Old!

Well... ol' Elkan turned one week old yesterday... and he celebrated last night by sleeping 8 hours straight. Seriously.... 8 hours.... 9 to 5.... 7 days old.

For the record... we've officially moved on to belly sleeping. I know I know... pediatricians are gasping in horror all over the country as they read this... but the fact is... we've ignored everything else the peds folks say... we figured we may as well be consistent. Babies sleep better on their bellies. They get alot a stronger a lot faster that way to. Now... Do we worry about SIDS?

Well... honestly no. No we don't. We've got this apnea monitor that basicly detects motion. Whenever the little fella stops moving... it squawks. So far it's only squawked when we've forgotten to turn it off after we pick him up.

So anyway... these are supposed to be the rough sleep-deprived days... but we certainly can't complain.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Monday, July 16, 2007

Ummm... How 'bout.... No.

TL comments on Newborn activities:

"What do new parents do, stand there and look all day?Those new kids don't DO anything."

I'm just gonna go out on a limb here and assume that TL doesn't have kids. Let me tell ya hoss... you'd be amazed at how busy something that sleeps 18 hours a day can keep you. The eat, which for the first few days can be a hugely complicated deal... they sleep, but in no predictable schedule, and never more than a few hours at a time... they shit, which if you consider circ care and cord care is also a huge complicated deal... and then for a few hours every day, they have "people time" which is when they are awake and full enough to actually look around and laugh at things. Its the "people time" that gets ya through the rest of it.

Things will settle down in the next few days... but its usually chaotic for the first couple weeks.

Don't worry TL... if ya ever have kids of your own... you'll understand... once you've had to decide between taking a shower or eating a meal... because you know you only have time for one.

This isn't complaining of course... We love havin' these little fellas around... and they change so fast... but to suggest that there is nothing to do... its like saying that F1 drivers don't do anything but sit around.

Thing of it like a duck. Calm and cool on top of the water.... paddlin' like hell underneath.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Rule #33

Men Don't Use Loofas.

I don't care if its attached to a stick so you can wash your back or not. Get a freakin' brush. Better yet.. man up. I have no idea what a man is doing washing his own back anyway. Get one of your wives to do it.

Assuming you have no wives... or otherwise available females... at least employ some male ingenuity. For example you could attach a scrubbing brush to your shower wall and scratch your back all over it. Or... better yet... you could mount a recipercating saw on the ceiling pointing down of course... wire it in... and swap out the blade for a long handled scrubbing brush. Instant back strubber!!!

Failing in all these areas... duck tape a scouring pad to a tire iron.


Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Thanks Y'all

I stopped by the house tonight and decided to steal a second to shoot y'all an update and express my appreciation for your prayers and words. Elkan's birth was smoother than we ever expected it to be. It was honestly enjoyable... dare I say... fun. After what we'd been through with Jeb and Eli ... we simply didn't dare hope for such a thing. Well... I didn't.

Here... how about a few more pictures to reward your support?

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

The Newest Family Member!
Guest Blogger: Darlin' Joy

Elkan was born at 7:18pm. 7lbs. 13 oz. and 19" long. A very fast delivery of only 8 minutes! Mother and baby are well. He has been very chilled. Lettin' people pass him around with no fuss.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Pregasaurus Update

Sorry for the light posting. Things are... interesting around these parts. Apparently Julie will be induced at 7:00 am on Tuesday. Grab some smokes boys. It appears Elkan is on the way. Although... according to the ultrasound today he has the cord around his neck at least once... which is par for the course with my boys... Both Jeb and Eli did to... and like Jeb... Elkan is also dealing with oligohydraminos. That's doctor talk for not enough amniotic fluid. Anyway... Keep us in your prayers... unless you ain't the prayin' type... if ya ain't... you've got way bigger problems than we do anyway.

Guest Blogger, Darlin' Joy, Update:

I just got off the phone with Nate. He has informed me that Julie is doing well. She received an epidural a while ago. Baby and mother are healthy. Julie is comfortable as can be. It should all go down here within the next few keep in touch!

Friday, July 06, 2007

Guest blogger...Darlin' Joy

I just got in from helping Nate pick up Bonita from the airport! She's GORGEOUS! Nate is on his long drive home, and he requested that I post some pics of her. So here she is...

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Aunt Samantha Day

I'm torn. Today part of me thinks back to the Grand Experiment... to the price the signers of the Declaration of Indepence paid. Those thoughts make me thankful and proud. Then I look at what has become of the Great Experiment... and I am revolted.

What was begun as a limit decentralized government... has exploded into a discusting, centralized Leviathan from which there is no escape.

There is nothing that is beyond the reach of Washington DC. Anything they desire to do... they can.

I'm moved to consider Marbury vs. Madison. If there was a bolder powergrab by a smaller group of men I am ignorant of it. In that case, the Supreme Court decided to give itself the power of judicial review. This was disasterous, because prior to that case... the power of judicial review rested with the states. Simply put, if the US Congress passed a law that was deemed unconstitutional by a state... that state simply didn't enforce that law.

That's a much better system. Now? Now it goes to court... where it is decided by lawyers and black robed devils. In that way, our Republic has been reduced to oligarchy. Jefferson himself adviced that judicial review should never be in the hands of the Supreme Court... for that very reason.

So... here we are.

The pondscum of DC stick their asses into any aspect of our lives that suits their whim. Everything is their business... from how much water is in our toilets... to our seatbelts... to how we chose to protect ourselves... to what medications we take... to where we work... to what we eat and drink. Everything is regulated. Everything is taxed.

And you know what's so discusting about it?

The American People like it.

Tell me... when a cop pulls you over and demands to see your license and registration and proof of insurance... how exactly is that different from a Russian cop demanding, "Papers Please."?

There is no difference... and refusing to cower to either of them yields the same result.

The fact is, Thomas Jefferson knew this would happen. He knew that power always consolidates. He stated calmly that a people's revolt would be necessary every 100 years or so.

He wasn't wrong about that... he just over-estimated the average individual's love or even desire for freedom.

You don't want freedom. You want safety. You don't want independence. You want cradle-to-grave mothering... mothering that your dear Aunt Samantha is all to willing to provide... like some psychotic obsessed matron... hell bent on saving her children from anything and everything... even if she must lock them in a closet for their own good.

So I am left to ask myself... what do I have to celebrate this 4th?

The answer?


Monday, July 02, 2007

IPhone Usuck

Can someone tell me what the deal is? What makes this iphone special? I mean... besides the marketing hype.

It plays music! Yes. So do other phones. It surfs! Yes. So do other phones. It uses wifi hotspots! Yes. So do other phones. It... um.... err... Its pretty!!!!

Please... please tell how this Iphone is supposed to change my life. The treo does everything this little POS does and I don't have to stand in line to get it... and plus it doesn't require me to be cursed with itunes.

What's even more infuriating is the way people fawn over it, even though it doesn't work!!! Let me get this straight... its a phone... but you couldn't send or recieve calls on it... but you loved it still because it did all this other stuff.


Its a phone. If it doesn't send and recieve calls... it sucks. Yes they got it fixed. Great. But take your eyes from the shiney parts for a second and snap out of it.

Here's an idea... how about someone tells me how it sounds on a call? How long does the battery last? Talk time anyone? How well does it hold a signal? You know... How does it freakin' perform?

Seriously... all you people that are so excited about this phone... did you really have no idea that smart phones existed? This thing appears to be cutting edge 2005 technology. Really impressive indeed!