Saturday, August 30, 2008

I'll Be in My Bunk

There you have it. The GILF herself... clinging to her gun... as JaMama would say.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Let Me Be The First To Say It
Take a gander at McCain's choice for VP...

And take my advice. Get used to the term GILF. You're going to be hearing it alot. And yes.. that's in this picture she's doing something Obama's never done. She's working.
There Will Be No Desent...

when I apply the term "Badass" to this ol' lady.

Young punk breaks into her hous at night... she grabs her gun (a .22 for the record) and tells the kid, "You've had it."

She then procedes to make him dial 911... on himself.

How embarassing.
It Happens Every Day

Coulda been you. You're shopping late at night... you pay with your debit card... you're loading up your groceries... and suddenly you've got a gun in your face.

If it ever does... I know a lot of you will be well prepared. I wish all of you were.

If you follow that link... pay attention. The intended victim didn't go straight for his gun. He tried to play nice. He even handed his over his wallet. He didn't want to shoot that kid. He dropped his wallet and ducked behind the open car door.

In otherwords... he did what the criminal wanted... just like the television tells you to. Note the criminal's response. It wasnt' to take the money and run... He ignored the wallet and started shooting through the door.

I am not going to cast judgement here... but I wouldn't have picked this particular tactic for my own defense. I applaud the use of cover... but I am wondering why it took so long for the man to get to his weapon. I mean.. you should be able to pull your gun faster than you can pull your wallet. It seems reasonable to assume he was caught with his proverbial pants down and needed to get the bags out of his hands before he could get to his weapon.

Situational awareness people.

Pay attention.

That kid didn't just materialize. If that guy was paying better attention to his surroundings he could've seen that kid approaching. He should have seen the kid approaching.

Keep your head on a swivel folks... and know when you're in a bad spot.

And always remember... armed self defense works... and it happens every day in the US.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Behavior Modification

Given the response to the post below... I thought I would share a legendary tale... that just happens to be true. Again... the names have been changed...

A man... and let me repeat that.. a man... agreed to go on a trip with three women... his wife... her sister... and her mother. And yes, this goes exactly how you think its going to go. At least up to a point. Which is where it gets very good indeed.

Read... and learn.

They had been in the car no more than 15 minutes when the nagging and bitching started. Over the course of the next 45 minutes... the nagging turned to just plain man bashing... and individual bashing.

After about an hour and a half... they were about to reach the outskirts of Louisville... when the Man said, "That's it. I've heard enough. I'm not going to listen to any more of this garbage."

Amazingly... they didn't stop. If anything they got worse.

The man didn't say another word. He just kept driving.

Eventually the women expressed a desire for sustanence... so... he obliged. He found a resturaunt... parked... sat down at the table with them... and listened as once again the bitching and bashing resumed.

Without a word...

The man got up... went to the car... and drove home.


He ditched them.

He left their asses 2 hours from home... in a resturaunt... with no car... and didn't even bother to tell them he was doing it. What was the aftermath?

Ask him what his wife said when she got home...

"Subject's never come up."

Ask him how he thought they would get home...

"I really didn't give a damn."

Ask him how the inlaws have treated him since...

"Well... they've been just as polite as they could be. They've been down right pleasant. Now they may be sayin' God knows what about me when I ain't around. But they don't say shit about me when I'm around."

To this day no one knows how they got home. Its assumed they rented a car... hey... they're grown women. They are capable of getting home. Some at the time expressed that if it had happened to them... they would've been really worried about him disappearing like that.

To that... I say the same thing he would likely say if you asked him. If they gave a damn they wouldn't have behaved so badly in the first place.

Now... before I go further... I don't want you to think that I think negatively at all about the women involved in this series of events. Its very easy... very easy indeed... to allow group dynamics to get out of hand. Its also easy to mistake a serious warning for an empty threat.

What I hope you folks take away from this is the lesson. Look at the way the Man handled the situation. Look at the results of his actions. Modern society teaches that this kind of action is unthinkable. To almost all of you... the actions are beyong the veil of civilization. Its an option that simply does not occur to you. I am suggesting that it should. I am also going one step further... I am telling you that not only did his actions NOT damage his relationship with the women involved... his actions improved the relationships.

You can call him anything you want.

I call him Badass.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Yipee Ki Yay

It goes without saying that, among the skills I aquired as a child, the ability to easedrop is among my most favoured. In fact... it may be the most widely used skill I possess... and never ceases to provide entertainment in the times and places such is desperately needed.

For example...

Tonight I made a run to Taco Bell... and apparently... so did the rest of the county. While waiting for our food... and mind you... when I see we.. I mean myself... and the lobby full of other folks... I did what I do. I stood facing forward.. blank faced... seemingly in my own world... secretly monitoring the conversations of everyone around me from the workers to the two chicks in the corner.

This is one bit I picked up...

Fat girl: So I guess ya feel pretty bad about Kenny?

Cute girl: Yeah.. I mean... he's hot.. but I've got a boyfriend.

Fat girl: Yeah...

Cute girl: and I don't even mind his wheel chair.. but I mean... ... how do you... I mean... I guess you just climb on.

*** Now at this point I had to look out of the corner of my eye... and I'm so glad I did. Because if I hadn't... I never would've seen the girl twirling the imaginary lasso over her head and pelvic thrusting***

Try as I might.. I couldn't keep a straight face after the fat girl realized I had heard the whole exchange. We both cracked up.... and the cute chick just buried her head in her hands on the counter.

Nate: Aww hell... don't be embarassed darlin'. Why I think its shows a class and an open mind to look past that wheel chair.

Yes... I actually managed to use the word class.

Ain't that just precious?

Reminds me of another tale... though... to protect the innocent I'll change the setting. Suffice to say that a girl was talkin' to some guys about her husband... complainin' about the man's... ummm.. bedside manner. Apparently this fella fancied himself some kinda damned romantic. As I recall she said something like this...

"He's just always so... ***shudder*** soft and gentle. He's always telling me how much he loves me and how sweet I am... and he's looking in to my eyes and petting my cheek and stuff... I mean... dammit... pull my hair! Call me a bitch! Ya know what I'm sayin'?"


We sure do baby.

We sure do.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Brother in Need

Hey y'all. Our buddy Clay's could sure use your prayers for his family. His mother has gone to hospice and has only been given a few more days. If the way her boy turned out is any indication... the woman must be a saint.

She'll be going to that other shore... where she will meet so many old friends and family who've gone before.

May her journey be a peaceful one.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Blue Water, Black Flag

***What follows is the first draft of the introduction. Have fun... and remeber... its the backbone draft. There is still a lot of fleshing out to do. Enjoy***

25 miles off the coast of somalia... Fikry Attallah's gastro intestinal system was in the advanced stage of rebellion. Wondering just what in the blue hell he was doin on this forsaken boat... he straightened himself up... and gargled some water from the canteen he brought.


The man shouting was Fikry's much older cousin... Muhammad. Apparently they had found their prey.

Up ahead... maybe 10 miles out was a huge yacht. Through the binoculars Fikry could see drunken bikini clad women on the upper decks. Briefly he considered that this whole kidnapping deal may be quite a bit easier than expected.

The 5 men on the small boat quickly broke out their weapons... SKS rifles and AK-47s... and took an intercept course towards the big yacht ahead. The mercruisers in the back bellowed smoke and eaisly lifted the little cruiser's bow.

As he handed Fikry his rifle... Muhammad said flatly, "Do not be afraid cousin. These people are cowards... they are bugs. They are fat and soft... pigs. Today is a good day."

It occured to Fikry that the ladies on the upper decks hadn't looked fat in his binoculars at all.

They're boat was coming up on the big yacht fast now... and the men began firing their rifles into the air and shouting threats. Just as he'd been told to expect... Fikry saw a flurry of activity on the decks of the big ship. But...

Wasn't it supposed to try to run?

It didn't appear to be running at all.

There was an explosion... wood... pain... hot... What happened?

Another massive explosion rocked their little boat... Men were running. What the hell was going on?

Suddenly it was all to clear. Their little boat was under fire! Some kind of artillery was blasting away... from the yacht???

It couldn't be...

Muhammad and two others were covered and trying to return fire... but they were hopelessly out of range for their small rifles.

***BOOM*** ***BOOM***

Two huge shots rang out... both rocking the small cabin cruiser. Fikry was nearly tossed overboard when the second hit. Two men... well... parts of two men were strewn across the bow.. and Muhammad was curled up on the deck crying.

Through the searing pain, the blood, and the smoke.. Fikry saw the giant yacht approching. Two huge weapons were now mounted... both on the bow. On the upper decks he saw two men with large bore rifles... 50 bmgs perhaps... trained on him. And flying high above... He saw a black flag flapping proudly in the wind.


The 20 millimeter lahti... the bow gun now mounted on President Davis' Revenge... sent one last shell through the ruined cabin cruiser of the somali pirates.

The crew didn't know it was Fikry's first time on a boat. Nor did they care... as they left he and his still weeping cousin to the cruel merciless sea.

Captain Tyler looked back over the sinking wreckage disappearing in the distance... and grumble to his first mate, "Dammit Curt... if we keep sinkin' em... we ain't got nothin' to sell."

"Sorry Cap'... you know SEALS are more experienced at demolition than salvage."

Tyler sighed...


"Cap'!" shouted the blonde from the fly bridge. "Sat phone! Its the company."

Curt and Tyler exchanged a knowing glance... and the old captain swore under his breath as he started to climbed up the ladder.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

2008 Titans Preview

aka: Why The Titans will Win the AFC South

Defense: Just like the Titans... we start with the D... which by the way... is returning every single starter apart from the right defensive end. This unit will be better than last year's. Here's why... Micheal Griffin is going to wreak havoc from his saftey position. He is showing a huge jump from his rookie year. As for the missing Antwan Odom... he's been replaced with a committee that should actually be far more effective. Ford, Hayes, and Kearse will hurt people this year.

On to the Offense... where we'll have to discuss things position by position... to deal with the numerous changes.

Offensive Coordinator: This is the biggest change the Titans made and it is the reason they'll make such a big jump in the AFC South Standings. To put it midly... Norm Chow was in over his head. He simply was incapable of putting our offensive players in good positions. Heimerdinger has been there... and done that. He will give the boys a chance to make plays. He will take advantage of his players abilities. He will out scheme some teams. Norm Chow never had a prayer of such a thing.

QB: Few realize Young was playing all year with a torn quad. He's healthy... and more importantly than that... he has Heimerdinger. Young's footwork has always been an issue... and Dinger's first priority was to fix it. Young responded well. You'll see more accurate throws out of a healthy VY when he has his feat under him. Does that mean VY is going to be a great NFL QB this year? No. To be brutally honest... The Titans don't need him to be. Shocker here... Jeff Fisher has built another Defensive football team that lives and dies by running the ball and stopping the other team. There will be weeks win VY will be the highlight of the week on sportceneter. There will be other weeks when he's going to be horrible... and the Titans can still win those games based on their D and their running game.

RB: Huge addition here. The Titans now have something they haven't had in a long long time... a true home run hitter. Rookie Chris Johnson is a threat to go the distance any time... from any where. He's an excellent reciever... plus he's got pass protection skills. Lendale will still get the majority of the carries... but Johnson will be lined up in the backfield with him... or out wide as a reciever. Johnson is going to make this offense exciting. He'll do what everyone thought Reggie Bush would do for the Saints.

O-Line: We lost both guards... but if you know anything about the Titans you know that they have the deepest, best coached O-line stable in the NFL. This line will be better than it was last year. Its plain nasty.

TE: Another huge addition here... Alge Crumpler has arrived... to finally give VY the safety net that McNair always had in Wychek. He's a huge target... and he's savy.

WR: So far its the Justin and Justin show... but Brandon Jones has really come on in the last few weeks. Frankly this group just isn't that important to the Titans grand scheme. If they make some plays great... but the Titans win with D and the running game. I suspect we'll see some improved production just based on the presence of Dinger.


The Titans will be better in all phases of the game. They will have an explosive offense coupled with a tyranical defense. When its all said and done in the AFC South... the Titans will be the last team standing.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

On Vacation

Sorry... I've been at the beach all week... and most of last week. I'll not be back until monday apparently...

Now... excuse me... I have to catch a boat... Nate's goin' deep sea fishin'!

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Oh no, He'll Not Need Them Again

Early in the morning before the Battle of Franklin... Major General Patrick Cleburne rode the lines... encouraging his men. At some point he came upon a Captain... and noticed the man was barefoot... and his feet were bleeding and sore. Cleburne called to the man...

"Captain... will you kindly pull off my boots?" The man was suprised... but did as his commanding officer ordered.

"Thank you Captain... now will you mind trying them on? See if they fit you."

The captain did this also.

Once the man was wearing the boots... Cleburne mounted his horse and said, "Captain I am tired of wearing those boots. I would do well without them." The captain and his men protested of course... but Cleburne would hear none of it... he simply rode away.

Cleburne was killed in battle that day... and was removed from the field in the same condition he left the captain.

It is said... though I have never been able to confirm it so... that Cleburne was buried with without boots... and that all the officers present were also barefoot.

Sunday, August 03, 2008

A Timely Quote You've Never Heard:

"The honest masses should've remembered that when scheming leaders abandon principle, and adopt the ideas of dreamers and fanatics, the ladder on which they would mount to power is one on which they cannot return, and up which it would be a fatal delusion to follow."

- 1868 Jefferson Davis. From his work: The Rise and Fall of the Confederate Government
On This Day:

- 216 BC Hannible defeated the Romans at Cannae. One of the worst defeats Rome ever suffered.

- 47 B.C. Caesar defeated Pharnaces at Zela = "Veni, vidi, vici."

- 31 B.C. Actium - Octavian defeats Antony

- 1862 - The Confederate ironclad Arkansas was ordered south to Baton Rouge to support operations there. If you haven't read about the Arkansas... you're missing out. I've blogged on it.

Friday, August 01, 2008

ATF... The FUUFF Edition

I'm a little pissed off to night... so I'm drinkin a little old school jack. Not the swill they sell now... the real stuff.. the 90 proof from 20 years ago.

Yes. I have some... for a while anyway...

Anyway.. I'm pissed. Ya know why? No Smoking. That's why.

186230 new cases of prostate cancer show up every year.

Where the hell are you morons putting your cigarettes anyway???

Cigarettes go in your mouth dumbass!! Not up your butt!

What? That's not where prostate cancer comes from? Really? Well I'll be damned... Next thing you know we'll find out that second hand smoke doesn't actually do a damned thing. Oh wait...

And if that ain't enough... I''ve got people whining... crying.. telling me I'm to extreme on gun rights. "Don't talk about rebellion!!!"


Does it scare you? Does it scare you to know that there are people out there that will kill you if you screw up bad enough????


Because it will keep you on good behavior.

I'm pissed... leave me the hell alone...