Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Blogging Issues

Sorry kids... the laptop from which I love to surf has gone tits up. Most likely a power supply issue... or so says the voltage meter... at any rate... once its fixed, or the new badass Dell arrives, bidess will pick up.

No promises until then.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Monday Roundup

Well... JAC has his panties in a wad over queeners being allowed to become members of the UMC. Blondage likes porn. Vox is busy givin' Ben Shapiro the worst paddlin' since his frat initiation.

Just another day huh?

I was hopin' to blog on the destruction of Nawlins. I know I know... I'm supposed to love the place. But I just don't. In fact... I hate it. Oh it has its high spots... but for the most part... it's just the Gamorrah of the South. One to many strip joints offering "female Impersonators!" for me.

Let's start with JAC...

It really doesn't make sense for him to piss and moan about this. There's been no rule change. Queeners have always been allowed to join. They have never been allowed to hold any leadership positions. This is the way its been, and there is no reason to believe it will ever change.

Each and every year I hear that the UMC is going queer... I've been hearing it for 20 years. Funny... Here we are. After 20-years of conserted homosexual tactics... including everything from demonstrations... boycotts... and one lesbian suicide (Bull Dyke threw herself off a balcony at the UMC convention in protest of the UMC policy)... the queers have successfully changed nothing.

I don't see queers jumpin' off of balconies to protest the Southern Baptist policies.

Now don't get me wrong... I'm torn over this queener membership deal. I mean... I believe they should be welcomed into the church. After all... that's where they need to be. But... That doesn't mean we condone their behavior. We aren't doing them any favors by patting them on the back.

At the same time... it's just not up to a single minister. The UMC is centralized. You look around long enough and you'll find openly gay preachers in the Church of Christ, and in the Baptist churches. Why? Because there is no over-site. There is no one to prevent it from happening. No one to say.. "Whoa there Nancy!"

The downside is, when a minister does something that's right, but disagrees with policy, he gets punished for it.

For as long as anyone can remember the UMC doctrin has been simple. Homosexuals may join, but they may not hold any leadership role. It's not perfect... but I'll take it.

On a related note, DrWho and I have started goin' to a different UMC. The one we were attending was startin' to get to wierd... drumsets and guitars were showing up with increasing regularity... No good.

We found an old school UMC. We dig it.


Saturday, August 27, 2005

Draft Day

My fantasy football league drafts tonight at 6:30... and that's not good... Because currently I feel like this:

















Looks like he's been on a three-day Kool-aid bender doesn't he? Thanfully its a keeper league and I've already got Shaun Alexander and Peyton Manning. The rest of my team can suck and those two can beat you by themselves.

If you play... let me offer you this advice. Preist Holmes ain't the best bet anymore... Oh.. and Mushin Muhammad... don't bother. Without his boy at QB, he's gonna be this year's Koren Robinson.

***By the way... Huge props to anyone who can name the two toys at the bottom left of the picture.***

Friday, August 26, 2005

The Plague Species

I suppose the boys at the London Zoo (I say boys but I would bet 10 bucks that this was a woman's idea) have watched the Matrix one to many times. That bit about the Human Race being a virus has started to sink just a little to deep.

I love it when I'm lectured on the environment by people who's idea of getting away involves riding 4 hours on an interstate in an air-conditioned automobile and stopping at a some national park. Yep... walkin' around on those paved "trails" sure must make ya feel close to nature.

I would venture to estimate that less than 10% of the population has ever been more than a 5 hour hump to town. Does that mean that towns are so common that such places don't exist anymore? If you believe that you should sign up for the next Blair Witch Project.

So... We humans are a plague on the earth... we run about screwing up the place. If it wasn't for us, all those cute fuzzy animals would be living happily.. getting along in their own perfectly balanced way.

What a load of crap.

I've made this point before.. but it deserves repeating.

Humans are a naturally occuring phenomon.

Since we are part of nature anything we do is natural. interstates. cities. All developement. It's all natural. It is all the way the earth is supposed to be.

Should we alter the antlers of deer? After all, deer scrape the trees... marking them up, and altering the tree.

We shouldn't. Because its natural for the deer to mark up the tree. Just like it's natural for us to build roads. Just like it's natural for beavers to build dams.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

The Boys

That's why they call me a Cowboy baby!


Kissin' babies is ok.


mmmm... Fingers...




SHANE SMITH Esq (VRWC)

Call me dammit!

No. I don't mean refer to me as "dammit". I mean call me. On the telephone. Dammit. I've lost your number... or I should more accurately say...when I call it, people tell me that no one named Shane nor Brooke lives there.

So... just to avoid confusion....

Call me.


Dammit.
BJW: Logic Edition

So this ol' redneck feller decides to go back to college... he's gonna get him a degree. Well... he enrolls, and he pays... and that first day rolls around... it's time for him to actually make out his schedule.

He's sitting in the administration building... tryin' to decide what class to take when a fella walks up and asks how he's doin'.

- Oh.. I'm ok... I reckon I'm just havin' some trouble figurin' out which classes to take.

The fella says, "Well... I teach a class on Logic. Maybe you'd like that."

- Logic? Whassat?

Well... Logic is deductive reasoning. Let me give you an example... Do you own a weed-eater?

-Yessir.. I got a nice 'n.

Ok... and since you have a weedeater than I can use logic to deduce that you own a yard.

-Yessir... Yessir.

And since you have a yard to take care of I can deduce that you own a house.

-Yessir.

And since you own a house I can deduce that you're probably married.

-Yessir Yessir... 15 year.

And since you're married I can deduce that you are a hetro-sexual.

-What? I mean... Yeah... Hell yeah!

See? That's logic.

So the ol' redneck signs up for the class... and about a week later he finds himself at a bar with his buddies... One of them asks what he's studyin'..

He says, "Well... I'm study'n logic."

His buddy don't know what that is though....

So he says, "Its when you use one thing ya know, to figure out something else. Let me show ya... um... Do you own a weedeater?"

His buddy says, "Nope."

The ol' redneck looks suprised... "Faggot!"
Dogma

I've little patiece for those who are unwilling to examine their own core beliefs. It shouldn't be something we dwell on... but every so often you have to shake things up. You have to look at your beliefs and assumptions and ask some questions. This is not a sign of a crisis of faith, or a hint of wavering. If its anything, its the sign of a mature mind.

We've all had those red pill moments, when one of those central truths that we'd taken for granted for years or decades, was suddenly pulled out from under us. Its a sickening feeling. Its like that moment when you've reached the top of the stairs but you don't realize it. So you step up... only to find nothing there.

One such moment for me was when it became clear that when Blue and Grey got to fighting... the good guys didn't win.

Liberals make hey attacking dogma. They scream that they are the only ones willing to face down centuries of beliefs. But they are intellectually dishonest.

For the liberals... now that they control the dogma... embrace it. The benefit of diversity must never be questioned!

They swallow their liberal dogma like the worst evangelican sycophant, and anytime someone questions the system they've constructed, they put their hands over their ears and shout, "Heresy!"

The liberals are a shell. They rail about open-mindedness... then they fiegn discust, and slap down anyone who actually demonstrates it.

The liberal inquisition is just as real as its historical name sake... and its twice as hypocritical.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Pimp Gun











I really don't know what else to call it. I know that Magnum Research knows who buys Desert Eagles. But do they really have to go so far out of their way to perpetuate the stereo type? How many NBA thugs are gonna be totin' this thing around?

This thing is gonna be more popular than a lowered H2. Amonst the black folk anyway. I can't imagine a decent God-Fearin' white man feeling comfortable in the same room with this nubian inspired trash.

50AE or not... that's just got faggot written all over it.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Optics



I figure this is probably one of the most ignored aspects of shooting. Folks will sit around and talk for hours about reloading... debating over which powder produces the perfect burn rate for what grain of bullet in what caliber... People will talk about glass beading barrels.. or floating barrels.. or bull barrels... People will talka bout B.O.S.S. systems that tune that barrel...

And then... after all this minutia.... after wringing every ounce of accuracy out of their rifle... they go and throw a cheap scope on it. It bugs me to no end to see a $1000 rifle with a $70 scope.

Oh... I understand.. you just spent every dime you had on your new ultra bad rifle. You ain't got a lot left, and you aren't interested in saving up for another several months... so you buy a cheap one... just to make do until you do save up... but then you never actually get around to replacing it...

And that thousand dollar rifle is suddenly no more accurate than a 40 dollar scope. That sucks boys.

Now... maybe the old addage of spending just as much on your scope as you did on your rifle is a little out-dated.... because the price of scopes has come down.... and the quality of scope that you get for 500 bucks is on a totally different scale than the quality of rifle you get for that money.

But you should at least be spending half.

$500 bucks will get you a helluva rifle from Savage. It will be a 1 MOA firearm. A $250 scope... be it Leopold or Nikon or even Tasco will complete your rig like you won't believe.

Believe me... once you've used a good scope you know the difference. I used to have this old Redfield scope on my Savage model 99. It was a range finding scope... easily a 500 dollar deal. The scope was worth way more than I paid for the rifle that it came with.

Before that I never put much thought into scopes... scopes were scopes...

I know better now.

I reckon that's enough for now... maybe we'll hit some more specifics in the comments. I'm sure Res, Gregg, Bill, and JAC all have opinions on the matter.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Boots

I've worn a lot of boots... I got my first pair when I was about 12, and I've had at least a couple pair at times since.

Tony Lama.... Dan Post... Justin... I've tried about all of 'em. Ahh.. so now its confession time. Now don't get me wrong... That Justin pair of Pacyderm Skin boots was a big time favorite. You can't believe the looks I got from people when I told them that I was wearin' the skin of an endangered species on my feet. I always made sure to wear them on Earth Day... But alas... that was back in High School... and boots don't last forever.

I've got a new favorite pair... and man.. I'm afraid I am about to have to proclaim them the best I've ever owned. It embarasses me to no end to tell y'all this... but they are just to damned nice to keep to myself.

Folks... it's blasphamy. It's heresy of the highest sort... but it is unfortunately the truth. The best boots I've ever worn... are made by Canadians. Tell me God doesn't have a sense of humor.

You can check them out for yourself here. Boulet Boots. Founded in around 1930 or so I reckon. The most comfortable thing I've ever worn. Justins that I wore for 5 years didn't feel as good... even after all that breakin' in. I'll bet I haven't worn these 10 times. I could play tennis in these things.

I aint sayin' you need run out and buy ya a pair...

But I am sayin' you ought to try a pair on. They make work boots and motorcycle boots too.

Hey.. I ain't proud when it comes to my feet. I want the best damn boots or shoes I can get. I don't care where they come from. The best tennis shoes I've ever worn were made in Italy (Diadora). I guess it figures... the best boots I've ever worn would be Candadian... with a damned French name. Course... we don't know... Mr Boulet may have hated France. There ain't much doubt that he was a helluva cowboy. Maybe... when it comes to boots... that's enough.

Give 'em a look see. Cain't hurt.

Friday, August 19, 2005

ATF

Well... here we are again... A little late I reckon... and only two beers in... not good. Don't fret boys... I'll catch up.

So I have some terrible knews. Ya see... I fully intended on this being an audio blog. I was in fact going to sing one of my favorite drinking songs... Beneath The Scottman's Kilt... but alas... audio blogger has been screwin' up. You'll just have to wait... as soon as it's up and working, I'll post it.. but it doesn't look like it will be tonight.

My sincerest apologies.

So I thought we'd talk about some wine. Lately we've been lookin' into some of the local wines... trying even strawberry wine from the local Forks of the Cheat winery. We've tried some sweet reds from Pennsylvania. Hey... I know... It's really not very good... but at some point you have to try the local stuff. Sometimes ya find a diamond in the rough... of course... there is a reason they call it the rough.

I'm still happy with my boxes though... Vella is a great wine for the money. I know I know... between the local stuff and the boxes I'm totally losing my wine snob credibility. Ah well...

So we know Spacebunny's drinkin' Guiness. You beer drinkers.. whatcha havin'? Corona? Bud Ice? Ice House? Some nasty Canadian swill? Nah... maybe... Sam Adams Summer Brew? Some of ol' Pete's Wicked Brew? Maybe something fancier?

I personally don't see the point in fancy beer.

Anybody drinkin' foo foo drinks? Now you know what I think about flavored margaritas... margarita IS a flavor... and it's not supposed to be frozen either you sissy-marys. That's about the only mixed drink I'll have... unless you consider bourbon with ice.

Bourbon... mmmm.... oh yeah... I'm takin' a sip or two tonight.

Did I mention I gave Laurie her first bit of Bookers the other night? She about died. No shit. I think some may have come out of her nose. 126 proof booze coming out your nose... that can't feel to good.

Oh.. she loved it... she just said it was.. umm... a little hot.

We backed her down to Makers Mark for the rest of the night.

Hrm... I think I'll roll a couple tonight. I haven't rolled in a while. ok ok ok.. The Titans are on and I've got drinkin' to do.. I'll be around though. Y'all have a good one.
Familiars

Well... Jeb's hit that age where he has finally chosen his familiar... all kids do it... it's a rag... or a blanket... or a stuffed animal of some form or another...

but of course... this is my son we're talking about. You know he isn't going to have the same sort of things other kids have... it's entertaining to see what they choose and why.... sort of watching how they go about it... and how little influence you have in the decision.

So Jeb's chosen two. Apparently no one explained that he was only supposed to pick 1 familiar... either that or they did explain it, and he decided to ignore them... he's my boy after all.. so I suspect the latter...

Anyway.... he has two... and he will not sleep unless they are in the bed with him... nor will he come downstairs unless they come down with him. He doesn't have to have them with him all the time... but he apparently has a proximity alarm when it comes to them... if we're at home, he's supposed to know where they are, and have access to them if he so chooses.

So here's what he picked...

1) A large plastic and metal Thomas the Train... which he feeds... and has been known to diaper.

2) A transformer in jet form... it's Jetfire to be specific... and God help you if you transform it into a robot. He hates the robot. He loves the Jet. Hey.. I do too! It's a swing cross between an F4, an F-18, and an F15. It's the coolest jet I've ever seen... outside of the Raptor of course.... well.. and the A-10...

So there ya go... Is that a little boy or what? Teddybears and Blankets are for girls I guess. Jets and Trains are the only things that will do.

I should also point out, that the runners up in the familiar contest were extremely detailed di-cast models of construction equipment... A front-end loader, and a back-hoe to be specific. He still carries them around and loves on them... but they aren't the Top Shelf.

That'ssssssssssssssss ma boy!

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Screaming at the Wailing Wall

They are not settlements. They are towns. They are not settlers. They are citizens... and they aren't being raped by arabs. They're being raped by jews.

There is only one group of people as self-destructive as homosexuals. We call them Jewish.

What's so sickening... is there is no reason for it. Gaza is Isreal. Period. It is not Palestine. In fact, there has never been a place called Palestine, which was ruled by Palestinians.

This isn't a fight for self-determination... and that's why the capitulation is so agonizing. What we're seeing is a war against the existence of Isreal. We're seeing baby-steps. Once certain arabs establish Palestine... then the fight will start anew... for more land... with a different set of lies to explain it.

I long for a Jewish Vlad Tepes to come to power... To see a leader snatch the reigns... and deal with the ragheads the same way Tepes dealt with them.

See.. there is a language they understand... and Tepes knew it.

Once two emissaries from Turkey arrived at his hall to treat with him... He asked why they refused to remove their turbans in his home... and they explained that it was not their custom to do so. He replied that he respected their customs, and that he would do what he could to re-enforce them... He then had his guards nail the ambassadors' turbans to their heads.

The turks had warred with Wallacia for some time... but when they sent their main force to march on Vlad's home... they found the road they marched on lined with 10,000 turkish corpses impaled on stakes. The army turned around and went home.

That is the language these dogs speak.

Western style democracy isn't going to topple Islam. It won't survive a the flick of the flame that engulfs it in the very first legitimate election.

If Isreal wants peace... it should resort to unspeakable violence.

If the United States wants peace, it should forget these ignorant notions of cultural change, and start impaling ragheads.

Buzzards gotta eat... same as worms.

***UPDATE*** My apologies... I was going from memory there... it wasn't 10,000 turks... It was 20,000 turks that he had been hold prisoner. In Romania today it's refered to as "The Forest of the Impaled."

How many are down there at Club Gitmo?
Sea Shanties an' Drinkin' Songs

An aspect of the manly arts thats sadly being lost, is the art of song. Countless great old songs exist in lore... but how many of you know them?

How many of you know the words to even one good ol' drinkin' song? And no... 99 bottles of beer doesnt' count.

In Heaven There is no Beer?

Spanish Ladies?

The Banks of Newfoundland?

Show Me The Way to Go Home?

I didn't think so... I am depressed. So lets get on with it shall we? We'll start with Spanish Ladies... because when it comes to shanties... its about my favorite. It pains me to say so, but most of you have at least heard it... as its the song that the withered ol' shark hunter sang in the original Jaws.

Farewell and adieu unto you Spanish ladies,
Farewell and adieu to you ladies of Spain;
For we've received orders for to sail for old England,
And perhaps never more we shall see you again.

Chorus:
We'll rant and we'll roar like true British sailors,
We'll rant and we'll roar across the salt seas,
Until we strike soundings in the Channel of old England,
From Ushant to Scilly is thirty-five leagues.

Then we hove our ship to the wind at sou'-west, my boys
We hove our ship to our soundings for to see;
So we rounded and sounded, and got forty-five fathoms,
We squared our main yard, up channel steered we.

Chorus:

Now the first land we made it is called the Deadman,
Then Ram Head off Plymouth, Start, Portland and Wight;
We sailed by Beachy, by Fairlee and Dungeness,
Until we came abreast of the South Foreland Light.

Chorus:
Then the signal was made for the grand fleet for to anchor,
All in the downs that night for to meet;
Then it's stand by your stoppers, see clear your shank-painters,
Haul all your clew garnets, stick out tacks and sheets.

Chorus:
Now let every man toss off a full bumper,
And let every man toss off a full bowl;
And we'll drink and be merry and drown melancholy,
Singing, here's a good health to all true-hearted souls.

Chorus:

Now... rest assured there will be drinkin' songs this Friday... Should make for a fun post at least.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Murder

1) We were told he was wearing a long winter coat. He was wearing a denim jacket.

2) We were told he ran from the police, jumping over turnstiles and knocking people down. He never jumped a turn stile, and only jogged over to the tram when it arrived.

3) We were told he ignored police orders to stop. When the police shouted at him, he stood and slowly aproached them.

4) We were told he had a large backpack. He had no bags with him at all.

These are the admissions... from the cops who were there themselves. The man walked calmly into the station... he found his seat calmly. When the police shouted at him, he stood, and walked toward them. An officer charged him, wrapping his arms around him, pushing him back into the seat he'd been sitting in, and pinning his arms at his sides...

Then another officer shot him in the face.

We have a word for that. It's called Murder.

Put these bastards on trial for First Degree Murder. Try the shit who blew the ID for man-slaughter.

This is just sickening.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Stockholm's Battered Wife

A beaten wife if a loyal wife.

It's a sickening statement isn't it? Partly because its true. You all know the story... the wife routinely gets the hell beat out of her... but come that ol' boy's day in court... she's right there beggin' the judge to let him go home and beat her some more.

Welcome to the creepy dark side of the human psyche.

We love those who abuse us, and the more they kick us, the more we long for their approval.

Hostages... abused by their kidnappers... tormented... suddenly find themselves sympathizing with their own abusers.

SEAL recruits... physically abused and tormented endlessly at buds... idolize their instuctors.

If it hasn't occured to you, that this plays a huge part in the creation of liberals... then I submit that it should now. But don't think for a second that Republicans are immune. Think about it... every time a member of the Legacy Media gives even the slightest hint of praise to the G.O.P. they leap out of their skin with joy. Why? Because.. when someone is percieved as an abuser, and they compliment you, the compliment is taken to really mean something. "Person X hates my guts... but look what he said!"

They claim to hate the press, but they beg for its approval every chance they get.

But its not just politics... you can see this in your neighbors... the ones who cling to housing associations and their assinine rules... the ones who threaten to call the authorities at every oportunity... These are the beaten down... the dogs... the ones with no pride left. The ones who only exist to lick the boots of their masters.

These are the minorities.. who time and again go vote for the democrats... while the democrats kick them in the teeth over and over...

These are the conservatives... who time and again vote for the republicans.... only to have their teeth kicked in... over and over.

Ya know... The Most Important Election of All Time is about to ramp up. How about this time... ya save some money on the dental work... and sit this one out.
2005 Preview: Tennessee Titans

Overview

Virtually every prediction you've read about this team is based on the off-season talent purge... and what a purge it was. I won't rehash it all here, as by now, if you're an NFL fan, you know exactly who left. Lets look at things objectively though. From top to bottom.. position by position... how does this team stack up?

Offensive Line

This figures to be one of the strengths of the team... and when you have a good offensive line, you can cover up a lot of weak spots. Replacing Fred Miller on the left side will be rookie Micheal Roos. So far the kid has been outstanding... blowing everyone away in training camp. He looked awesome on the right side, and did just as well when they switched him to the left side to rest Brad Hopkins. The big eaters will dominate at times. They can open wholes on any D-line in the NFL, and with the new faster offensive, they don't have to hold up nearly as long when passblocking.

Quarterback

Steve McNair. Billy Volek. What more do you need to hear? Steve is healthy and fired up. He doesn't just take a hit and bounce up smiling... In the Tampa game Friday, he scrambled and laid a defensive back out. That's Mac-9's game. But what if he goes down again? Meet the Legendary Billy Volek. The Titans backup started most of last year, and proved that he is better than most of the starters in the NFL today. He throws a better deep ball than McNair does... the kid has old-school gun slinger written all over him.

Running Back

The addition of Travis Henry (Cheese!) is huge. Chris Brown is a good back, but he has proven to be injury prone. Henry is just what the doctor ordered. He's a proven NFL back... and with enough carries, behind the big Titans O-line, he could be among the AFC's top rushers. Behind those two we find Jared Peyton... running like a monster. If you're unfamiliar with Walter Peyton's son, you may not be for much longer. He's big, and he's suddenly started displaying speed on the edge. He was turning the corner on the outside runs against a fast Tampa Bay defense. At full back the titans are still raving about Troy Fleming and his pass catching and blocking.

Tight End

Erron Kinney, Ben Troupe, and rookie Bo Scaifel make up a quality group of pass catchers and run blockers with a ton of athleticism and size.

Wide Reciever

At last we reach the a weak spot. What we've got here is Drew Bennett and everyone else. Oh sure... there's loads of talent... all of which is unproven. What the group has going for it is numbers. Top to bottom, this group is big and fast, and there are a lot of them. The three picks, Roydell Williams, Brandon Jones and Cortney Roby have been great in the preseason. Sure... they've made some silly rookie mistakes... like losing the ball on go routes... but they've also made some great plays. Jones has been the real standout, and figures to be the number 3 guy behind Tyrone Calico.

Defensive Line

Albert Haynesworth is the anchor of another young, but extremely talented group. Big Al can dominate a game inside, and this year he's showing the attitude to do just that. Joining him at tackle is Randy Starks, and the two are simply going to blow things up inside. On the edge things get more dicey. Antwan Odom is fast and strong... Travis LaBoy and Bo Schobel also have tons of upside. A year from now this could be the best D-line in football... but right now? Expect the inconsistancy of youth at defensive end... but expect the tackles to be rock solid. Playmaker Rocky Boiman will also see time at end. The D-line will be a strength of the team by mid-season.

Linebacker

Beware. Notice has been served. Keith Bulluck is finally getting the recognition he deserves. You listening Ray Lewis? Meet the Best Linebacker in the NFL. Headhunters are everywhere in this unit. Brad Kassell will anchor the middle. He's a thug. He will bust you in the chops. Peter Sirmon returns on the other side. Along with these killers we find the two Rocky's... Boiman and Calmus. Both are ball hawks... and both hit like trucks. This group is fast, strong, and plays with a bad attitude. They're gonna hurt people this year.

Saftey

Tank Williams is the unquestioned leader of the secondary... flanked by free saftey Lamont Thompson. I'm sold on Tank. He's an assassin back there... Thompson is still a question mark for me. He's made some great plays... and he's been burned. He wasn't consistant enough for my tastes last year... though we've been spoiled at this position for a long time. Lance Schulters was a rock back there. Those are big shoes to fill. Behind them we find a youngster named Vincent Fuller, and a 3rd year fella... Donnie Nickey. Nickey is experienced and solid. He's played nickle back in the past. Good speed. Fuller has some serious Kieth Bulluck in him. By that, I mean he's one of those guys that is just always around the ball. He's a film nut, and a serious student of the game.

Cornerback

Andre Woolfolke will be starting on one side. He's got tons of talent. He's big, he's fast, and he has the instincts to go with his size. Its his first time starting at corner... but I'm not conserned. On the otherside... things are wide open. PacMan still hasn't signed, and with every day, his stock goes down. The only thing this kid has done consistantly is make an ass of himself. This is coming from a guy who was totally stoked about the pick. I can't imagine what the boys who wanted Rolle are thinking. But as fast as Pacman's stock is dropping... others are stepping up. Michael Waddell started a few games last year. He ended up lookin' like a kid running around a school yard. A year later, we see him a totally different player. He's driving off the ball. He's knockin' people on their butts. The starting job is Tony Beckham's for now, but if he doesn't step up bigtime, Waddell will take it. It's probably just a matter of time anyway. Pacman is going around telling the press that his goals are to win rookie of the year, and make the probowl. At this point, I don't think he'll even beat Michael Waddell for the starting job.

Special Teams

Craig Hentrich is still punting... and that is an undervalued weapon. There is a kicking battle between two foriegners... or something... I dunno... but they are both kicking well.. so I figure we'll be ok there too.

Conclusion

Objectively this is a team with a lot more answers than questions. They will give points to Indy... but who won't? Talk of another 5-11 campaign is ridiculous. This is gonna be an exciting team. There's talent and speed all over the field. They'll run the ball way more than they did last year, and they should. Expect a winning season, and the playoffs are a legitimate goal.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

More Cowbell 08!

There is a viscious rumor flyin' around that Christopher Walken may be running for President in 08.

I... I....

I got nuthin'.

Friday, August 12, 2005

ATF

Boys I have been useless as tits on a boar hog all week... Don't look for that to change tonight. The Titans first preseason game's tonight.. and well.. priorities dude... You know?

God
Family
Football

Dig?

If you aren't an NFL fan... I'm going to suggest that the Bloggerblaster is not gonna be your favorite place for the next few days... as I plan on doing some serious breakdowns on The SEC, and the affore mentioned Titans.

I feel like its our responsibility. It irritates me to no end that Vox and Bane don't do this about their respective teams.

At any rate... its five minutes to game time... Time to start the rituals... time to put suit up...

Time to Rock and Roll...

IT'S FOOTBALL TIME IN TENNESSEE!!!

A: No booze for me tonight... still feel like crap.
T: No tobabacco either... see above.
F: Taurus Tracker... Stainless steel .357 baby.

No additional T's... other than my current lust for a 70hp John Deer... with a 5x5 round bailer... and a loader.... mmmmmmmm...

Tastey!

Have a good one kids.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

They Will Not Save You.

But your big brother might. Read that and pay attention to the details. You may have to re-read it. One person called 9-11... another called his big brother. Big Brother beat the cops there, then shot it out with the bad man in the driveway.

This sort of thing could happen in my family... though in our case, JAC and Digger would just be hopin' I left a couple alive until they got here.


KillBoy

At least a couple times ya'll have read my lusty writings about the place we reverently call The Dragon... That sacred little stretch of US-129 south of Knoxville... Well I thought I'd take the time to tip my hat to Killboy.

Killboy... aka Darryl Cannon... one of the denizens of the Tail of the Dragon motorcycle resort... two guesses where it's located...

Anyway, Killboy still holds the timed record for running Deal's Gap as far as I know... the boy's a freak, and his name is well deserved.

Anyway... Killboy keeps a blog of sorts... complete with pictures... I thought I'd give y'all a heads up so you could actually see some it for yourselves. Click here.














That's not me by the way.. but it is a CBR1000f... though not as cool as mine.
New Fishin' Rod!

















My kin seen this here "fishin' rod" fer sale in Tennessee an' thought o' me. Reckon they'd heard me lament on my inability to catch a fish... Must've figger'd this'd do the trick.

I dunno though... when it comes to fishin' JAC and I are plain cursed. We just cain't catch 'em. 'Course... this particular method does look promisin'. Hey.. them pole's and lines always struck me as a little girly anyway.

I'll let ya know how at it works out.

Now that I think about it... I wonder if any laws got broke shippin' this thing...
Time...

I'm a stay-at-home dad... with a maid. Yet still... I have no time. I continually feel rushed... How can this be?

Someone is always waking up or going to sleep... arriving... or leaving... eating.. bathing... something... Something is always going on. Its an insane time right now.

The job search is a huge deal. Lots of stress... Lots of pressure... Its just this big blade hangin' over our heads. What was once just a dream has been transformed into a reality. Complete with the horrors that come along with it.

On the one hand there is the feeling of life. Few things make a man feel alive like starting a journey with an outcome that is uncertain. I mean... how many of you have ever found yourself in a position where you looked up and realized that 6 months from now... you have no idea where you'll be living... you couldn't even narrow it down to less than 5 states...

It's bizarre.

Its thrilling. Its scary as hell. Its fun. And its exhausting.

Anyway.... between The Search, my recent illness, and my fascination with a certain work of fiction which shall be reviewed soon... I've neglected y'all.

I'll see if I can make it up to ya... but no promises. Time's tight.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Bad Joke Wednesday

Ugh... The bad joke around here has been on us folks... WhiskeyGirl and I have been mostly out of commission for a couple days now... Off and on all weekend I was useless as tits on a boar hog. Sunday night was spent communing with the toilet... and lastnight was spent sittin' on it... I've been around of course... never totally out of it... Not like WG... that poor girl came down with it Monday night, and hasn't been outta the bed for more than 3 minutes the whole time. Girl's got it bad...

Anyway.. Hope that explains the recent suck here at the Bloggerblaster.

Now.. Y'all are on yer own on BJW this week.. I'm fried. Don't fret though... JohnR and his boys will come through for us...

SB! Waterboy! Pressure's on kids... time to step up and save the day. See the comments for the jokes..

Monday, August 08, 2005

They Call Him Smoke

I love Tony Stewart. I know I know.... He's a damn Hoosier. Well so is Larry Bird... You gonna say somethin' bad about him?

Tony Stewart is the epitome of a NASCAR driver. He's the only active drive to actually punch a reporter. That should be qualification enough.

Among other things in Tony's favor... hell.. he's put Jeff Gordon in the wall more than any other driver. Now... if that don't soften your heart towards the man nuthin' will.

Watchin' Tony win at the Brickyard was a beautiful thing... and brought to mind something I've been frustrated about for a long long time.

Is there any sport that's more under-covered than Auto-racing in general, and NASCAR in particular?

I don't know what the deal is... I know a lot of people just don't get it... but that doesn't change the fact that whole' shittin' load of folks do. I guess you end up with sports reporters who've grown up covering Baseball, Football, and Basketball... and they've always shied away from racing. It never struck them as big time.

Reckon it's struck now?

NASCAR's appeal is pretty obvious. There's no drug problems in NASCAR... I mean... Come on... when you drive around at 200mph, inches away from 42 other cars... well... You ain't exactly hard up for thrills.

NASCAR is both bluecollar, and boardroom. In the last few months both Wine Spectator, and Cigar Afficianato have printed full length features on the sport. Those don't exactly cater to the redneck crowd... ya know?

NASCAR is the biggest spectator sport in America... The TV ratings are insane... and it's growing at what a few of us still consider an alarming rate.

For damned near 60-years NASCAR has been the fastest growing sport in America. But you turn on Sportscenter and you a 10-minute blurb showing a couple crashes, and who won.

I know hundereds of awesome NASCAR stories... that have never been told... Because the reporters just don't pay attention.

Time to wake up boys. Baseball is roughly 1 third as popular as it was in the 50's. Football is still the King, and rightly so... But NASCAR is clearly here to stay, and its high time the Sports Media woke the hell up.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Hockey vs. Soccer

A few of you have brought up this comparison... and a few have wondered about a good Southron boy bein' a hockey fan...

Let me just handle these issues real quick... startin' with the second one...

Hockey is my favorite sport. It's the favorite sport of lots of folks in the South... just like Baseball is. Oh... I know... You're all wadden' up panties right now... "What about Football!?!"

I can hear your screachin' all the way from Morgantown...

Football and NASCAR ain't sports in the South people. They're Religions. You put 200,000 people, prayin' in Christ's name all together... I don't care if there's a mess of race cars fixin' to start up or not.... That's Church!

And Football in the South needs no defense. Like the Popes of the middle ages... today in the South the most powerful man in Tennessee is not the Governor... Its the Vols headcoach. And think about Alabama... You think there's ever been an Alabama politician that had the influence Bear Bryant had? Hell no.

Football and NASCAR stand alone in my happy little world... Religions in the world of competition.

There are lots of things about Hockey that make it appeal to rednecks... and chief among them is the choice violence. Hockey has all the speed, and all the violence of football.

Hockey is what Soccer would be... Soccer hadn't been invented by a bunch French women.

Now about that first issue....

- Hockey is played on a rock hard piece of Ice. You fall... you loose teeth.
- Soccer is played on a groomed little field... and probably has a feather mattress pad spread out beneath the grass to cussion the falls.

- Hockey is the only sport besides boxing where fighting is actually legal.
- Soccer is the only sport were girls playin along side boys is actually legal.

- Soccer is called "The Beautiful Game".
- Hockey is called a Bar Fight with sticks.

- Soccer is totally deviod of tactical thinking.
- Tacticly, Hockey is second only to Football.

- Soccer players prance around.
- Hockey players chase each other with sticks.

- In Soccer... players are expected to fake injuries and flail around like wounded soap-opera stars.
- In Hockey... if a player takes a dive to draw a penalty, he gets fined 10 grand.

- Soccer players wear make-up and girly hair do's.
- Hockey players don't even bother with false-teeth.

So I'll grant ya... They both have goals... and they both have goalies... and the object is the same... get the thingy in the goal.

The difference is one was obviously designed by and for MEN.

The other was designed for and by Queeners.

Soccer is what ya get if you gave Hockey a decade worth of estrogen.

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Holy Crap!!!

2-years ago the Nashville Predators made the playoffs for the first time. They took the Hated Detroit Redwings, who at the time had 2 players whose combined salaries smoked the predators whole payroll, including the concession stand workers... to a six-game street-fight.

2-years ago the Predators were seen as a young, hard working team with a big upside.

Then there was the Lockout.

Coming out of the lockout everyone knew the small-market teams like the Preds were gonna get a big boost...and they did. The Predators, without making any significant personell changes found themselves looking like one of the best teams in the NHL.

While the big name teams... Detroit and Colorado in particular, were scrambling to bust up their dream teams and fit under the new salary cap, the Predators seemed happy to just watch the carnage and laugh. They were in the catbird seat now.

But they pulled one over on us. While we all thought the Preds were happy as clams with their lineup... they decided to do us one better.

Ladies and Gentlemen... Paul Kariya is now a Predator.

For those of you who don't know, Kariya is an all-star. He was one of the most sought after free-agents on the market. For him to choose Nashville over the bigger markets is a major shot over the bow. Stick a fork in the SS Detroit. The dynasty of the Hated Redwings is over.

Teams like Detroit and Colorado are gonna have to lineup and go toe to toe with the Predators... and this time... the talent's on the other side of the ice.

Timonen.. Kariya... Vokoun... Scott Walker... David Legwand.. Steve Sullivan...

You hear that boys? MR! Red! You listenin'??? Nah.. you ain't listenin'... You're off hidin' under a table somewhere... lickin' your wounds... clickin' you're heels together and hopin' you're gonna wake up back in Kansas...

Nashville Predators: Standley Cup Champions. Got a nice ring to it don't it?

Welcome to Oz boys. Enjoy your stay.

Friday, August 05, 2005

ATF

Gettin' things goin' early tonight.. out of necessity of course... See boys... Its Date Night! Not just any date either! We're pilin' the youngin's into the badass black truck and headin' over to the Jap Steak House... AND... We're going with our smokin' hot little blonde chick friend Laurie.

Then we're all comin' back here to booze it up watch Return of the King. Laurie has been put in charge of the wine... and yesterday she asked DrWho if she thought 5 bottles would be enough...

I can feel the hangover already. What was that y'all said? Lots of water... pancakes... 1200mg of Ibuprophen.. Yeah... have to be prepared ya know?

So... me... my wife... booze... hot blonde friend... What was that someone said about the appearance of evil?

Bah! Don't be ridiculous! We're just watchin' movies... there will be no... ok well... there'll be minimal... well... yeah.. ok... so there'll be a whole lot of flirtin'... but that doesn't mean we're goin' to hell or nuthin'

Then again... if you're gonna go to Hell for somethin'....

On to the topics at hand...

I have no idea what sort of wine we're drinkin' tonight... I just know the chicks bringin' it. I'll offer a detailed report tomarrow... that's all I can do. I probly won't get to smoke... though if I do... I have an awesome Excaliber that I have been dyin' to fire up.

No big firearms news this week... other than the congress passing the protection act that limits pointless lawsuits against gun manufacturers... and we ain't discussin' no damned legislation durin' the ATF post.

Na... We've been lookin' forward to tonight all well... card games... good friends... wine... bourbon... good flick... It's about all a man can ax for.

I hope y'all have a great time tonight... and I hope none of ya puke... to much.

So crank up some Charlie Robinson... Some Jason Boland.. and some Cross Canadian Ragweed boys...

It's Friday!

Dammit.
Protocol on Complimentin' the Ladies

A little advice for males out there... Boys... There are menfolk out there who are perfectly capable of applyin' terms like "Darlin' ", "Sweetheart", "Kiddo", and "Cutie" to women they barely know... or hell... even complete strangers. They do this without soundin' condescending or threatening. It's meant as a harmless compliment, and that's the way its takin'.

Odds are... You ain't of these men. If you think you are... then I can guarantee you ain't. Because if you are... you don't think it. You know it.

It's a skill boys.

Women are wary of strangers... and they've got their guard up a lot. Intentions mean everything, and women are very keen when it comes to sniffin' them out.

Now... Obviously I can pull off the "darlin' " thing. Part of that is because its not at all out of place for me... JAC is the same way. We're from the South. We're all about the South. So when we do it... it's real, its smooth, and it works.

I can even pull it off in the blogosphere. In the middle of a debate about God knows what... I can refer to a chick on the other side of the fence as "sweetheart" or "darlin' ". Now.. the first couple times it may get misinterprated... because delivery and inflection just ain't there... but after a while they realize it's not meant to be condesending at all.

Chicks who can't stand to be called "darlin' ", don't mind at all when boys like JAC or I do it.

Now I'll grant ya... Part of this is simply the result of my losing all ability to communicate with women without flirtin'. I don't know when I lost it either... I just know its gone. The only time it resurfaces is when I have to speak to a female bureacrat... but then its not my normal communication skills at work... Its just my bureacrat communication skills trumping my flirt skills. I never think of bureacrats by gender or race... it humanizes them to much. Its like namin' the calf you're fattin' up to eat. Its just a bad idea.

I brought this up because I was readin' a particular chick bitch about menfolk using petnames with her... I got to thinkin' about how many times women have complained to me about other guys usin' them... and the whole time their complainin' I'll be pattin' on the head and sayin' "I know sweetheart... some folks just have got to learn their limitations..."

This almost always elicits a little laugh followed by an enthusiastic, "SEE! You can do it! Its ok when you do it! Not so-and-so though! Its creepy when he does it!"

Not to long ago.. I was sittin' at a Sonic... and this cute little thing brought my food out to me... I was on the bike... so I had to sit at the picnic tables they got there. Anyway... I gave her a 10 and she reached in to get the change and I just said.. "Aw come on.. I'll tell ya what... you smile for me, and keep that change... We'll call it even darlin'."

She got this big ol' smile on her face... then we both laughed a little bit, and she went on her way.

Intentions... see? She was cute... therefore I was gonna give her to Cute Girl Tip regardless.. but I figured I'd get a smile out of her too... Nuthin' wrong with that. But if I was the type who never said that stuff... or if I were squirrely... like I was lookin' for more than a smile... it wouldn't of worked out so well a-tall.

Down here in the South everyone is more affectionate than up there in Yankee Hell. We look each other in the eye when we talk... Menfolk pat each other on the back... and complimentin' a lady ain't a come-on. It's a tradition.

One that I wish more menfolk would brush up on.

So here's some general rules...

1) Don't use a pet name in the first sentence you say to a stranger. Use ma'am or miss instead.

2) Do not pronouce it "darling". That's morally reprehensible and offensive to all right-minded and decent folk.

3) Never try to do it. If it don't come naturally... don't do it at all.

4) You have to get to know them pretty well before you can pat 'em on the rear.

5) Once you're buddies though...

Now.. lookin' back its occured to me that the Cute Girl Tip may require some explaination...

Here's the deal... I like hot waitresses. They improve my eatin' experience a great deal. You really can't beat a pretty girl who shows up with a sizzlin' steak and beer. I want to encourage more pretty girls to be waitresses... and I want to discourage the ugly ones. Consequently... ugly girls get only what they earn. Pretty girls have a baseline that already good... and whatever they earn just gets added on top of it. Pretty girls who give good service and wear low cut tops... particularly if they have a southron accent... well hell... I just hand 'em my whole wallet.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

That's Ma Boy!


Now it's true this was taken a while ago... This was several months ago.. but I just had to share it with y'all.

Tell me I don't raise 'em right.
Biblical Marriage

There are a lot of concepts that we take for granted. Marriage for example. We take it to mean one man and one woman. I've already shown in the past that many many people in Bible had more than wife... but today... just for fun... and well... because I'm feelin' frisky and lookin' to stir up trouble...

Lets talk about swinging.

Yeah ya read that right. Swinging. Does a wife have the authority to give her husband permission to tag another chick? The knee-jerk reaction is of course... hell no. But then... if that's the case... then I would ask you how exactly the 12 tribes of Isreal came to be?

I believe Genesis 30 goes something like ummm.... this:


1
And when Rachel saw that she bare Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister; and said unto Jacob, Give me children, or else I die.
2
And Jacob's anger was kindled against Rachel; and he said, Am I in God's stead, who hath withheld from thee the fruit of the womb?
3
And she said, Behold my maid Bilhah, go in unto her; and she shall bear upon my knees, that I may also have children by her.
4
And she gave him Bilhah her handmaid to wife: and Jacob went in unto her.
5
And Bilhah conceived, and bare Jacob a son.
6
And Rachel said, God hath judged me, and hath also heard my voice, and hath given me a son: therefore called she his name Dan. 23
7
And Bilhah Rachel's maid conceived again, and bare Jacob a second son.
8
And Rachel said, With great wrestlings have I wrestled with my sister, and I have prevailed: and she called his name Naph'tali. 24
9
When Le'ah saw that she had left bearing, she took Zilpah her maid, and gave her Jacob to wife.
10
And Zilpah Le'ah's maid bare Jacob a son.
11
And Le'ah said, A troop cometh: and she called his name Gad.
12
And Zilpah Le'ah's maid bare Jacob a second son.
13
And Le'ah said, Happy am I, for the daughters will call me blessed: and she called his name Asher. 25
14
And Reuben went in the days of wheat harvest, and found mandrakes in the field, and brought them unto his mother Le'ah. Then Rachel said to Le'ah, Give me, I pray thee, of thy son's mandrakes.
15
And she said unto her, Is it a small matter that thou hast taken my husband? and wouldest thou take away my son's mandrakes also? And Rachel said, Therefore he shall lie with thee tonight for thy son's mandrakes.
16
And Jacob came out of the field in the evening, and Le'ah went out to meet him, and said, Thou must come in unto me; for surely I have hired thee with my son's mandrakes. And he lay with her that night.
17
And God hearkened unto Le'ah, and she conceived, and bare Jacob the fifth son.
18
And Le'ah said, God hath given me my hire, because I have given my maiden to my husband: and she called his name Is'sachar. 26
19
And Le'ah conceived again, and bare Jacob the sixth son.
20
And Le'ah said, God hath endued me with a good dowry; now will my husband dwell with me, because I have borne him six sons: and she called his name Zeb'ulun. 27
21
And afterward she bare a daughter, and called her name Dinah.
22
And God remembered Rachel, and God hearkened to her, and opened her womb.
23
And she conceived, and bare a son; and said, God hath taken away my reproach:
24
and she called his name Joseph; 28 and said, The LORD shall add to me another son.

Now please read carefully... and remember that Leah and Racheal are sisters. What we learn here is... well... obviously Jacob is a busy man... but we also see that both sisters gave Jacob permission to tag their maid servants. Rachel also gave Jacob permission to tag Leah... in return for some mandrakes... which seems really bizarre to me... but whatever...

Now... With Sarah and Abe we could point to the whole Ishmail thing... and all the trouble it caused... and therefore declare that the mating was wrong. With Jacob's example we get no such moral. In fact, God blessed this business.

S0... Several thousand years later... How do we view this? Can a wife allow her husband to bang another chick? Can a husband allow his wife to do some guy?

Bill... Res... Papa... Gregg... You're up.
Breakin' My Own Rules

Let this be a lesson to ya... Dammit.

Even full-grown BloggerBlasters can screw up royally. We've got rules for a reason kids... and you're better off payin' attention to 'em...

One of my more famous rules of course... is pretty simple. I don't drink on Wednesdays. Now.. if you'd like to know why I don't drink on Wednesdays... I recommend you check the archives. May of 04... May 14th of 04 to be exact.

So anyway... lastnight I decided to ignore that well-learned rule.. and this mornin' I'm payin' the price. 10 ounces of bourbon or so later... oh yeah.. and some wine... here I am... Hurtin'.

I feel like someone wrapped a gold brick in a lemon, swaddled it all in a Battleflag, then promptly smashed it over my head... My stomach feels like there are twenty-seven flamin' squirrels in there, havin' some sort of unholy flamin' squirrel orgy.

And this is the mornin' Jeb chooses to wake up at 7am.

And this is the mornin' the poor kid gets the shits.

Let me just tell ya... when it comes to the shits... potty trainin' goes out the f'n window people. Not my morning... You ever had to clean up runny shit off a two-year old while hungover? It ain't no good.

Ah well... It's all worked out. Jeb's hydrated and feelin' better... and I got to go back to bed for about 45 minutes... which I maintain is the single best cure for a hangover.

So here it is... another day at the best blog on the net. Dammit.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Bad Joke Wednesday

Before we get started... for you newer folks, I should point out... It is Bad Joke Wednesday. The name is accurate. These aren't supposed to be good jokes. They're terrible. They're the worst. That's why I like 'em. I started this little tradition hopin' that Spacebunny would, on occasion, remember some of these horrific dogs... and irritate Vox with them. Whether or not that actually happens is now irrelevant apparently... as when ever I've missed a wednesday I've been guilted and chastized somethin' aweful... so the curse I ment to cast upon Vox has backfired... and now each Wednesday I find myself here typing this stuff up...


-What do you get when you cross a dog with an elephant?

A very nervous postman.

- How do little people get to work?

A mini van.

-What do you give a sick pig?

Oinkment

-What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

Use a cowculator !

-Why couldn't the foal talk?

Because he was a little horse...

And for Waterboy... I offer the Holy Grail... The Original Shaggy Dog.

In the days of yore, a knight was on his way to do something terribly important, riding his horse into the ground to get to his destination as fast as possible.

After being ridden too hard for too long, his horse became lame, and seeing a small town ahead he headed straight for the stables there.

"I must have a horse!" he cried "The life of the King depends upon it!"The stablekeeper shook his head. "I have no horses," he said.

"They have all been taken in the service of your King."

"You must have something - a pony, a donkey, a mule, anything at all?" the knight asked.

"Nothing..... unless.... no, I couldn't"

The knight's eyes lit up. "Tell me!"

The stablekeeper leads the knight into the stable. Inside is a dog, but no ordinary dog. This dog is a giant, almost as large as the horse the knight was riding. But it is also the filthiest, shaggiest, smelliest, mangiest dog that the knight has ever seen.

Swallowing, the knight said "I'll take it. Where is the saddle?"The stablekeeper walked over to a saddle near the dog and started gasping for breath, holding the walls to keep himself upright. "I can't do it." he told the knight."You must give me the dog!" cried the knight. "Why can't you?"

"I just couldn't send a knight out on a dog like this."

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

What a Waste

Stevie Ray Vaughn is dead... but a airliner full of Frenchmen goes down in flames... and not one fatality. Somebody explain that to me.

I got 309 reasons to be pissed off. Nuthin' sticks in my craw like an opportunity missed.

and here I was all set for french fries...
Direct Marketing

Seems like in about every town you can find a little produce stand, or a storefront that sells locally grown veggies.

Why is it you never see this for meat?

I mean... Sure... there may be a hippy store... but if they have meat at all, the selection will be pathetic. Besides... decent folk get uncomfortable just walkin' by such places... the thought of goin' in one is un.. umm.... err.. un.... un.... thinkable... It's just not gonna happen.

What ever happened to the butcher, who buys local and cuts local? Couldn't a man make a killin' doin' this today?

Seems to me there is a reactionary undercurrent to the superstore craze... and one that has created a niche market for highly specialized service oriented stores.

There is a huge farm up the road from me here... big enough that they run a store front where they sell pumpkins, and corn, and such from the farm. They make a killin' around halloween.

But why can't a ranch do this same thing? Set up a store front... have your cattle butchered... offer a good selection... hell you could charge quite a bit more than the grocery does... and the simple fact that folks know what they're eatin' could go a long way.

You wouldn't run nobody out of business.. but it sure seems like an untapped market to me.

Folks are obviously willing to pay more. The question is; is the price difference enough to make it worth a cattle man's time?

I dunno... but I just may have to look into it.

Monday, August 01, 2005

MIG

There's been a lot goin on lately... I haven't really been keepin' up with the bloggin' or really any of my hobbies... Most of my down time over the last month or two has been spent sneakin' away to read up and plan.

Now... I've been talkin' about this farmin' thing for a long time... but the fact is, I don't know nearly enough about this stuff to jump in to it... well... I didn't. I certainly have a good base of knowledge now... particularly when it comes to runnin' cattle... which is what I've figured I was headin' for anyway.

So... while the little lady has been readin' book after book on homeschooling... I've been sneakin' off by myself to read up on farming technique. Here's what I've concluded...

It ain't easy to make money farmin' boys.

That don't mean it can't be done... but it means you do more than fencing off 100 acres and sendin' them out to graze.

These days the best way to do is somethin' called M.I.G. Management Intensive Grazing. Basicly it means you graze your cattle on only the best food... and you do that, by dividing your farm up into about 10 padocks... and rotating them around from padock to padock, to where the feed is at its opitmal stage. I don't have the space to get into all that here... but it pretty much means you rotate your cattle every couple days or so.

All of this really just means you take your time layin' out your farm... you make sure you've got water runnin' to all your padocks... and in the end... what you get in return for the work, is more product per acre. Way more. I know of a farm in Athens County where they're running 1215 head of stocker calves, and 100 ewe sheep... on 45 acres of land! The Sheep are producing at around 218%, and he gets around 85 bucks per lamb.

Registered livestock.. and a complimentary herd of sheep may be the way to go... I'm certainly leanin' that way now. More money per critter... more critter per acre... dig?

Now... can I really make enough money doin' this to make a livin' at it? yeah... I think I can... But hell.. the tax benefits alone make it worth my time.

Ok... so don't get to excited here... The plan obviously isn't to jump in with both feet. I mean... I don't even know what state i'm gonna be livin' in... Much less what kind of property is available. Even in optimal circumstances, I'm still the type to start small to limit my risk. I'm more likely to raise up a beef cow for my own family's consumption.. then go from there.

Plus... this is just one possible plan... If we move to the coast... this one is out the proverbial window.

Don't frett though... I'm workin' on another plan for the coast...


YARRR!!