What Would You Do?

You wake up.. and the internet is buzzing. While you slept last night... by executive order... martial law has been declared and all firearms are to be confiscated. The government says you have 24-hours to turn in all weapons and ammunition at the nearest police station. Anyone caught with so much as one bullet will be imprisoned without trial.

There are pictures and videos of huge fenced areas where violators will be taken. The government refers to these concentration camps as "Gun Court".

You have 24 hours.

No time to wait for a trial or an injunction. Federal judges have refused to accept any challenge to the orders.

What do you do?

At 11:00 an army general holds a news conference where he explains that this is a military mission and it will be handled as such. The membership records of the NRA have already been siezed... along with the records of all pro-gun organizations. He states plainly that the homes of every NRA member will be searched. They have begun searching digital pictures from public survielence systems searching for hints of fire arms ownership like bumperstickers or t-shirts. He announces that the FBI has turned over the background checks on every firearm purchase made in the last decade.

At 4:00pm the President announces that you have 12 hours left to turn in your weapons. People have started leaving work to turn in their guns. Police are everywhere... soldiers are everywhere. They aren't doing anything... they are just... around.

What do you do?

This is all fantasy right? This can't happen. It never happens like this. Its just nuts.

Well consider... this is exactly how it happened in Jamaica in 1972.

Tomorrow's Headlines Today

Its occurred to me that you probably don't much care for mainstream news outlets. Consequently... I've decided to save you the embarrassment and inconvenience of paying attention to them on November 5th.

This is what you're going to hear all day long...

Idiotic Male Broadcaster: Breaking story here... the democrats are complaining about the urban vote being suppressed. Lets go live to our correspondent at DNC headquarters.

Idiotic Correspondent: Yeah IMB I'm here at DNC headquarters and I can tell you they are very upset at what they are calling a deliberate attempt to suppress minority voters. Now we all know that minority voters are concentrated in the large urban areas such as Chicago, Detroit, and New York... but police are saying they are just being responsible... that a police presence is required in the event of civil unrest as the results come in. Democrats however are saying they are going to far, and actually interfering in the election process... simply by being seen.

Idiotic Male Broadcaster: Thanks IC. Al Sharpton has holding a press conference... lets go there now.

Sharpton: In 2000... the 'lection was stole from us... when they took it to the Supreme Court! Now here in 2008... this 'lection is bein' stole from us the ol' fashion way... with guns and badges! I'm gonna tell you right now... I'm gonna tell you right now.. we ain't gonna stand back and let this go. We ain't gonna be made no house niggas no more. Oh you say we can vote... sure.. come on down and vote... but don't mind them boys over there with the assault rifles and tear gas... they're just here to keep you safe brotha! I mean... who y'all tryin' to kid? I'm telling you right now.. our voices will be heard. We will not be silenced.

Idiotic Reporter: Reverend Sharpton are you saying that the police are intimidating voters?

Sharpton: Are you blind? Look over there! Look! What do you see? Guns and tear gas! They say they are worried about violence. I tell you right now... if this goes bad... there's gonna be violence. There will be violence.

Idiotic Reporter: There you have it IMB.. the poor are being intimidated by the police presence and their voices are being silenced. Back to you.

IMB: Thanks IR... now we've got word of a late breaking news conference being held by Senator Murtha... lets go there live.

Murtha: What the fuck do you mean I'm behind? These fucking rednecks!

***inaudible interruption***

Murtha: What the fuck do you mean I'm live? of course I'm live you ignor... ummm... Hello. We apparently have had some audio issues... I apologize for that. I want to take some time to address what's going on in Philadelphia right now. Right now... in Philadelphia... poor minorities are afraid to vote. They are afraid to vote... and if something isn't done... its going to cost the righteous Barack Obama this election. I'm calling on all my fellow senators and legislators.. and all government officials on all levels to end this tragedy before our children pay a dear dear price for it. Thank you.

IMB: Powerful Powerful words from Senator Murth from Pennsylvania. Early reports are a little conflicting it seems. At around 9:00am EST MSNBC had declared the election a landslide victory for Barack Obama... but when it was pointed out that the voting hadn't actually started yet... they were forced to retract the claim... and now... now it seems that even later reports of Obama's dominance have been somewhat flawed as states that were known to be comfortably in his pocket so to speak are looking decidedly at risk. This is seen by democrats as evidence that there is indeed deeply wrong with the process.. and they are blaming police interference. We'll keep you posted. Now back to your regularly scheduled program.

The Legacy of Makers Mark

Most folks these days know the most popular spirit in America is Vodka. This has been the case since the early 70's. Not suprisingly... the popular rise of the Dear Little Water happens to mimmick the feminization of the country... but that's a topic for another post.

But prior to Vodka's rise... Bourbon was the king of the mountain. Walk into a package store in 1950 and you'd find dozens more labels than are available today... and it seemed like everyone that walked in the door was after the same thing.

I'll tell you something you might not know though. If you were to taste all of those labels you'd learn one thing. Back then... bourbon pretty much all tasted the same. The variety was purely the result of marketing. And not just that... but if you taste some Evan Williams today... you'd know what virtually everything tasted like back then.

See... the Super Premium Bourbon Market which has led to the surge in popularity hadn't been invented yet... but the interesting thing is... the ground work for bourbon's revival was actually laid before its fall. A fella named Bill Samuels realized that different parts of the warehouse aged bourbon differently... so he began rotating his barrells. It was labor intensive... and was, at the time, mocked as a gimmick. But that rotation... along with careful experimentation with the recipe resulted in the first Super Premium bourbon.

Of course... now everyone from Jim Beam to Jack Daniels rotates their barrels. And they all offer Super Premium products.

See boys.. Bourbon's Golden Age... really wasn't. Bourbon's Golden Age is now. So when you sip your Knob Creek or Rare Breed... say a little word of thanks to Bill Samuels. Because if it wasn't for him and his work at Makers Mark you wouldn't have either.