Happy HallowOOt!!!!

Pre-Trick or Treating yard work!

Why yes.. my family IS adorable.

And that's Elkan... Repleat with Monster Costume!

I couldn't decide if he looked like Boo from Monsters Inc.

Or something from Where the Wildthings Are...

So... Y'all Expecting a Lot of Tricker Treaters?






Nope. We're just hitting the after halloween candy sales one day early...

Here's yer sign.

ATF Returns!

Well... its Blue Moon Winter Brew tonight... at least until the smokes come out...

Smokin' and drinkin'... smokin' and drinkin'... ya know mix in some guns and trains and that's damned near a song! At least it aughta be.

I hope is well with you and yours... just a quickie tonight to get back in the swing of things. If you're around... say howdy.

My Give a Damn's Busted

Its better to say nothing than to post something pointless. If my heart's not in it... I'm just not going to write it. I'm not going to blog for blogging's sake. The point is... I see the news.... Iraq... Blackwater... The fires in California... Hillary... Ron Paul...

I just don't care.

When I'm not passionate about something... my writing sucks... and well... I'm not passionate about any of the issues of the day.

I will point this out though...

This fire in california is putting out more Carbon monoxide than in one day than a million cars produce in a week. I say we force the hippies to by Carbon Credits.

Plus... I've gotten to thinking about these fires. Whats the big deal? Its a fire. Its plants burning. This ain't rocket science people. Put water on it. Push dirt on it. How freaking incapable are you jerk offs?

Ya seriously can't stop a fire?

And why aren't all you hippies living in enviro-friendly hobit holes anyway?

California's burning. Good. Any chance we can spread that fire to San Fransisco, Sacramento, and LA?

So You Think This Country is Worth Saving...

if so... perhaps you should take a moment to glimps through this list of government agencies to which you are currently beholden:


Department of Agriculture (USDA)
Department of Commerce (DOC)
Department of Defense (DOD)
Department of Education (ED)
Department of Energy (DOE)
Department of Health and Human Services (HHS)
Department of Homeland Security (DHS)
Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD)
Department of Justice (DOJ)
Department of Labor (DOL)
Department of State (DOS)
Department of the Interior (DOI)
Department of the Treasury
Department of Transportation (DOT)
Department of Veterans Affairs (VA)
African Development Foundation
Central Intelligence Agency (CIA)
Commission on Civil Rights
Commodity Futures Trading Commission
Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC)
Corporation for National and Community Service
Court Services and Offender Supervision Agency for the District of Columbia
Defense Nuclear Facilities Safety Board
Election Assistance Commission
Environmental Protection Agency (EPA)
Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC)
Export-Import Bank of the United States
Farm Credit AdministrationFederal Communications Commission (FCC)
Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC)
Federal Election Commission (FEC)
Federal Housing Finance BoardFederal Labor Relations Authority
Federal Maritime Commission
Federal Mediation and Conciliation Service
Federal Mine Safety and Health Review Commission
Federal Reserve System
Federal Retirement Thrift Investment Board
Federal Trade Commission (FTC)
General Services Administration (GSA)
Institute of Museum and Library Services
Inter-American Foundation
International Broadcasting Bureau (IBB)
Merit Systems Protection Board
National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA)
National Archives and Records Administration (NARA)
National Capital Planning Commission
National Council on Disability
National Credit Union Administration (NCUA)
National Endowment for the Arts
National Endowment for the Humanities
National Labor Relations Board (NLRB)
National Mediation Board
National Railroad Passenger Corporation (AMTRAK)
National Science Foundation (NSF)
National Transportation Safety Board
Nuclear Regulatory Commission (NRC)
Occupational Safety and Health Review Commission
Office of Compliance
Office of Government Ethics
Office of Personnel Management
Office of Special Counsel
Office of the National Counterintelligence Executive
Overseas Private Investment Corporation
Panama Canal Commission
Peace Corps
Pension Benefit Guaranty Corporation
Postal Rate Commission
Railroad Retirement Board
Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC)
Selective Service System
Small Business Administration (SBA)
Social Security Administration (SSA)
Tennessee Valley Authority
U.S. Trade and Development Agency
United States Agency for International Development
United States International Trade
United States Postal Service (USPS)
Administrative Committee of the Federal Register
Advisory Council on Historic Preservation
American Battle Monuments Commission
Appalachian Regional Commission
Architectural and Transportation Barriers Compliance Board (Access Board)
Arctic Research Commission
Arthritis and Musculoskeletal Interagency Coordinating Committee
Barry M. Goldwater Scholarship and Excellence in Education Foundation
Broadcasting Board of Governors (Voice of America, RadioTV Marti and more)
Chemical Safety and Hazard Investigation Board
Chief Financial Officers Council
Chief Financial Officers Council
Chief Human Capital Officers Council
Chief Information Officers Council
Citizens' Stamp Advisory Committee
Commission of Fine Arts
Commission on Helping to Enhance the Livelihood of People around the Globe (HELP Commission)
Commission on International Religious Freedom
Commission on Security and Cooperation in Europe (Helsinki Commission)
Commission on the Intelligence Capabilities of the United States
Commission on the Intelligence Capabilities of the United States Regarding Weapons of Mass Destruction
Committee for Purchase from People Who Are Blind or Severely Disabled
Committee for the Implementation of Textile Agreements
Committee on Foreign Investments in the United States
Coordinating Council on Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention
Delaware River Basin Commission
Denali Commission
Endangered Species Committee
Federal Accounting Standards Advisory Board
Federal Advisory Committees
Federal Executive Boards
Federal Financial Institutions Examination Council
Federal Financing Bank
Federal Geographic Data Committee
Federal Interagency Committee for the Management of Noxious and Exotic Weeds
Federal Interagency Committee on Education
Federal Interagency Council on Statistical Policy
Federal Laboratory Consortium for Technology Transfer
Federal Library and Information Center Committee
Harry S. Truman Scholarship Foundation
Illinois and Michigan Canal National Heritage Corridor Commission
Indian Arts and Crafts Board
Interagency Alternative Dispute Resolution Working Group
Interagency Council on Homelessness
Interstate Commission on the Potomac River Basin
J. William Fulbright Foreign Scholarship Board
James Madison Memorial Fellowship Foundation
Japan-United States Friendship Commission
Joint Board for the Enrollment of Actuaries
Marine Mammal Commission
Migratory Bird Conservation Commission
Millennium Challenge Corporation
Mississippi River Commission
Morris K. Udall Foundation: Scholarship and Excellence in National Environmental Policy
National Bipartisan Commission on the Future of Medicare
National Commission on Libraries and Information Science
National Indian Gaming Commission
National Park Foundation
Northwest Power Planning Council
Nuclear Regulatory Commission
Nuclear Waste Technical Review Board
Postal Commission
President's Commission on Moon, Mars and Beyond
President's Council on Integrity and Efficiency
Presidio Trust
Regulatory Information Service Center
Social Security Advisory Board
Susquehanna River Basin Commission
Taxpayer Advocacy Panel
United States Holocaust Memorial Museum
Veterans Day National Committee
Vietnam Educational Foundation
White House Commission on Presidential Scholars – "Presidential Scholars Program"
White House Commission on the National Moment of Remembrance

So... you're either answering to them... funding them... or both.

Slaves.

Nate on Ron Paul

Let me see if I can sum up the best arguement I've heard yet for supporting Ron Paul...


"If any snowball can make it in Hell... This snowball can!"


That's all could and well.. but neither physics nor chemistry bow to intentions. The fact is... compared to the flies of the Republican party... he's a misquito... which means he may actually bite and cause some irritation... but in the end... he'll just get swatted.... that's assuming he even makes it past the initial fumigations designed to eliminate misquitos entirely.

Listen... there is an ironclad law about elections... simply put... The candidate with the most money wins. Now... that's not to say necessarily that the money causes the victory. The truth is donations are an extremely accurate measure of support. The more popular a candidate is... the more folks give him... or it... as the case may be... financial support.

The losers always claim the coffers were boosted by the nefarious special interests... but the fact is... if that were the case... the same side would almost always win.... because the same people have the same money to give each cycle.

Wake up people.

The RNC is broke.

Hilary will be elected.

I suggest you make your plans to bug out... or make your plans to fight and die.

Me?

I see nothing worth dieing for.

Gypsy Wind

So where has ol' Nate been?

Its a fair question... after all... its been more than a week since I posted. What's been takin' up so much damned time?

Well... We decided the Escalade just wasn't fit for long trips. Oh its great for around town... but we needed a little more freedom.

So I went out and snatched up a Class A motorhome. For those keeping score its a Fleetwood PaceArrow. Oh lord do we love it. We've spent the last several nights in it. The boys actually ride up on the dashboard... glaring out the massive windshield... just enthralled with the sensation... its like sensory overload.

Its got a low miles 460 in it... smooth as it can be. Cruised up Mont Eagle twice now... and she held 65mph the whole time... both times. I could've accelerated... but I wanted to keep her below 4ooorpms.

Its a great rig. If you've got kids... I can not recommend it enough. Families NEED these things. Its the difference from being trapped... and freedom. No more stuck to a house because of nap times or schedules. Ya just take the whole damned house with ya... including the kitchen sink. Hell... my wife took a shower at 70mph tonight!

Anyway... this means we can actually do things now. We can go to football games... we can go to amusement parks... we can just spend the day anywhere we want... and if the kids get grumpy or need naps... we can just go back to the RV and take care of it.

Imagine ladies.... ya want to spend a day at the mall? Fine. Go for it. You go shop with the boys... hubby and maybe 1 kid stay at the RV and play xbox... or watch direct TV... or play on the laptop.. or hell.... take a nap. No problem. And believe me... its so awesome to be able to drive down the road... and to know that your family is happy and truely comfortable. You can look over your shoulder and not see kids strapped into torture devices.... I mean.... carseats.

Anyway... where has ol' Nate been?

He's been on the road.

You should be too.

Well Said

"My friends,
I had not intended to discuss this controversial subject at this particular time. However, I want you to know that I do not shun controversy. On the contrary, I will take a stand on any issue at any time, regardless of how fraught with controversy it might be. You have asked me how I feel about whiskey. All right, here is how I feel about whiskey.

If when you say whiskey you mean the devil’s brew, the poison scourge, the bloody monster, that defiles innocence, dethrones reason, destroys the home, creates misery and poverty, yea, literally takes the bread from the mouths of little children; if you mean the evil drink that topples the Christian man and woman from the pinnacle of righteous, gracious living into the bottomless pit of degradation, and despair, and shame and helplessness, and hopelessness, then certainly I am against it.

But;

If when you say whiskey you mean the oil of conversation, the philosophic wine, the ale that is consumed when good fellows get together, that puts a song in their hearts and laughter on their lips, and the warm glow of contentment in their eyes; if you mean Christmas cheer; if you mean the stimulating drink that puts the spring in the old gentleman’s step on a frosty, crispy morning; if you mean the drink which enables a man to magnify his joy, and his happiness, and to forget, if only for a little while, life’s great tragedies, and heartaches, and sorrows; if you mean that drink, the sale of which pours into our treasuries untold millions of dollars, which are used to provide tender care for our little crippled children, our blind, our deaf, our dumb, our pitiful aged and infirm; to build highways and hospitals and schools, then certainly I am for it.

This is my stand. I will not retreat from it. I will not compromise." - Noah Sweat

Kudos to Luke for the find.

I Find Myself Considering...

the insane. You all know about the ICBM Tour... where JAC and I did the Iron Butt 1000 on our sport bikes. It turns out we don't get our certifications though... since apparently... we went to fast. That's right... the sanctioning body has decided to put on its panties and refuse to certify anyone that has an average speed that's to high. Pussies.

At anyrate... recently... I am finding my mind conflicted... and pulled in totally opposing directions. In the one sense... I'm madly researching massive motorhomes... that I may transport my family in the finest of comfort... and better still... I don't have to strap my kids into torture racks for hours on end.

On the other hand... recently I've had visions of loading up the KLX250 and heading out in a mad attempt to complete the Iron Butt on it.

1000 miles in 24 hours on a KLX 250.

How bout it?

A Thin Blurred Line

I wish to tell you... if I may... a tale of the ancient... I would share a story of our past... from a time and place long gone... a time when men still remembered magic... and dragons weren't nearly so popular.

This tale starts as many do in what appears to be an idealic setting... with a man... who has no idea what history has in store.

You see back in those days... in that place... there weren't just warriors and wizards... the art of magic had actually been specialized much in the way that science has been here today. There were wizards that focused on everything you can imagine... from creating great wealth, to travel, to protection from harm... but the one group in particular this story focuses on.... were known as Pyromancers.

Now likely you've never heard of pyromancers. In all honesty you know quite well that all of this magic is a bunch of school boy nonesense. But in spite of what you know... once there were wizards... and if you look back even further... you would find the legends of the fire wizards.

The Pyromancers were the most feared group in all the world. They focused completely on offensive magic... spells that were used to attack others. They cared not to protect themselves... they believed in inflicting as much damage as possible as quickly as possible. They were the artillary of their day... A pyromancer could be a nuclear bomb... or a sniper. What he could not be... was a shield.

Among the pyromancers... one of the first actually... was a young man named only Kier.

Kier was a conflict. He wasn't your typical wizard. Oh he was bright enough but his athletic physique made him stand out. He seemed more like the type for carrying bastard swords than staffs. That fooled no one though.. for he was fierce about his devotion to his craft. Perhaps he was devoted to nothing more.

More often than not Kier would be in the wilderness with his friends seeking some adventure or another. I could spend days recounting the old tales of Piper and Glorn... unfortunately... this is a much darker tale.

Its a tale that begins at what looks like the end... and ends at a begining... and I suppose this is as good a time as any to finally get started.

It was a fine autumn day... not a lot different from this one when the ancient God Grimbrand appeared to Kier and his friends. Grimbrand had been watching them.. and had decided to grant them authority over their own kingdom... it would be theirs to do with as they saw fit... and so it was.

Kier threw himself into the affair... he let it consume him... he obsessed over it... so much that after a while he stopped thinking of himself as a pyromancer at all... he only saw himself as a king. He shut himself off from the world beyond his kingdom... and years passed.

So much happened... but he simply didn't notice.

The gods warred in the heavens... and he didn't notice.

Men warred on the earth... and he didn't notice.

Kier's focus was a lazer on his kingdom... and his kingdom flurreshed... but guild brothers were dying.

Kier never cared enough to know what the god's fought about... they always fought about something...he had no idea that they were actually fighting over the pyromancers. He had no idea that one by one the fire wizards were being stipped of their gifts.

He just didn't know... until it was to late.

One day Kier looked up and it was all different. His kingdom wasn't his anymore. Grimbrand had be vanquished... and the victor... Lancer... now ruled with an iron fist. Not knowing what else to do... Kier simply left.

He went home... to the old guild house... the secret place. But there he found nothing. Nothing but ruins. He wondered how long it had been. How long had he been gone?

He wondered the lands... and he learned that the pyromancers were gone... and almost forgotten... only the old remembered them... they were to powerful... it wasn't fair... the gods had to put them down. Good riddence to all of them. Almost.

Kier found himself standing on the corner of an empty street... and it was there that he realized... they missed one.

Kier wasn't just the last pyromancer... he was a master. He was among the most powerful pyromancers the world had ever known... and revenge was on his mind.

No no... revege is not to be served cold at all.

Kier spent the next few months wondering the realms... posing as a collector. He used his enormous wealth to procure some artifacts relevant to his past... like... the formal cloak of his guild for example.

All the while he watched and listened.

The fools of this new world were comfortable. They knew the rules... they knew the balance of power. They knew their place in it. More than one flirted with his own death by assuming Kier was also bound by those rules. He took it all in... he used it to fuel his rage... the last fire wizard simmered... and calculated his eruption. but he played humble... he never let his power show itself.

It wasn't time.

Or maybe it was?

One day Kier learned of a great celebration... a wedding of all things. Apparently to great heros were to be married... and the gods themselves were hosting. The whole realm was invited. Everyone.

Would Lancer be there?

On the appointed day everyone made their way to the great cathedral... build by the gods themselves for this very occasion. Hundreds had gathered. The guards at the door had no time to worry about a strange man in a silly robe. Kier made his way into the audiance and waited. Up front he could see the heros focusing on each other... oblivious to their own doom.. only so many feet away. He saw the smug and smiling faces of the gods... loathesome.

It was time.

Kier calmly... coldly.... slowly stepped into the open....

Most people simply didnt know what was happening when the strange man in the strange black cloak raised his arms to the sky and spoke those ancient words.

It was only in the last perceivable instant that Lancer turned and looked at him.

Their eyes met for an instant.... just before the world exploded in a torrent of white hot death that hadn't been seen in an age.

White flash.

Silence.

Kier stood in the smoldering ruins... alone. hundereds of corpses lay strewn... smoking... seared. Even the worldly husks of the gods themselves were destroyed. Heros... the most valient and powerful men and women of the entire realm... killed instantly... shattered... like nothing more than dried leaves under a heavy boot. It was impossible. It wasn't fair. It couldn't happen.

But it did happen.

Kier threw his head back and cackled with glee... and then he disappeared... never to be seen nor heard from again.


And that dear friends... is a true story.

Apology

Its monday... I haven't blogged in forever... and even then it was just a hit and run. Fact is I don't have time. Its monday... there's aparently a lot going on in the political world... but I can't seem to make myself give a shit.

Democrats say this... Republicans say that... Libertarians say this... stay in your lanes. Say in your box.

Lanes and boxes used to piss me off... now it all just bores me.

Its a powerful boredom.... its the boredom of understanding.

Do you know why its so important for magicians to keep their secrets? Because if people knew... they'd be bored.

I think back to the days in college when I used to play these online games. They were fun... You had your little character and you ran around and collected items and weapons... and they the more stuff they did... the more powerful they were... the cooler it was. The coolest people in the game were the "gods"... the creaters... the coders. They made the items and objects... and even the areas.

Occasionally they'd "come down" and interact with the mere players... and when they did... it lent an air of unpredictability... it was so much fun to play when they were around. Anything could happen... because they could literally... make anything happen.

Then I screwed up.

I was asked by the admin to join them... to become a God... to be a coder.

This was my first real exposure to The Boredom of Understanding.... and incidentally... this is where the makers of the Matrix truly screwed up. More on that in a minute.

See... once I was a coder... I new that the power of an item or the damage a weapon could do was nothing more than a number in a line of code. I could change that number any time I wanted. There was no economics involved. I could make as many insanely powerful weapons as I wanted. There was nothing challenging... its just changing a number.

it was customary of course for coders... gods.. to create a signature weapon or item to show off their ability as a coder... and carry it with them. I remember... I became so bored and apathetic... another coder was named "Dolphin"... he was a rookie but everyone liked him... I eventually coded up a "tuna net" that was specifically designed to trap him. It would make him shout and scream... it would tell everyone playing the game... hundreds of people around the world... that Dolphin had been trapped in my Dread Tuna Net. After a few moment's humiliation it would kick him out of the game completely.

Sounds like fun right?

It wasn't.

Because I knew how it worked. It wasn't magic. It wasn't special. I understood it. It was predictable.

And that's where I am right now... bored with politics... and predictability.

That's why I've insulated myself off with my kids right now... because they aren't so predictable. Being individuals... they are new... unpredictable... and partly uncontrollable. They are after all... mine.

Once you understand the boxes and lanes... once you see the man behind the curtain... once you know its just a number in a line of code... that's when you really know what boredom is.

And that thing they screwed up in the Matrix?

Neo was effectively seeing things as a coder. He saw the code in the Matrix. He could manipulate it from within... just like I could as a creator god in the game I played in college. They completely missed the boredom of it. They never had Neo behave correctly. He should never have been in a fight. His adversaries simply should've disappeared. Agents... the Trainman... they are nothing... items with mere numbers to change. They are less than a passing thought.

The Matrix trilogy... arguably Hollywood's greatest disappointment.