Saturday, July 19, 2008

Submission: Poopoplata

It seems that more and more we hear of folks training MMA as a hobby. I suggest humbly that the more common this becomes... the more we're going to be reading articles that say things like this:

In Saturday's match against Corey Wethey, Mitchell struck his opponent so hard that Wethey lost control of his bowels. The incident required a 10-minute intermission while officials scrubbed down the ring. Mitchell went on to win the fight by Wethey's disqualification.

The fight -- the seventh of the night - began like any other. Mitchell and Wethey left their corners, tapped gloves and traded punches. After landing a knee to Wethey's body, Mitchell said he began to smell something foul.As the fight prolonged, Mitchell said the smell continued to worsen. Eventually, he removed his mouth piece and expressed his concerns to the ring official.

"He shit himself," Mitchell said repeatedly.

It was at that point Wethey gained the advantage and locked Mitchell's head between his thighs.As the round progressed, news about Wethey's intestinal difficulties slowly made its way to the ring officials, who were at a loss of what to do.

Yes. You read that correctly. Mitchell kneed Wethey so hard he shat himself. Right there in the ring... in front of God and everybody. Look... its one thing to crap yourself because you refused to tap and got choked out. I mean.. its still horrible.. and you'll still be mocked forever... but taking a knee to the gut and involuntarily dropping a load?

For some reason I imagine a stunned ref running around screaming "CODE BROWN!!! CODE BROWN!!!!!!"

Anyway... After reading this I find myself shocked that Tito Ortiz didn't shit himself after taking that knee from Machida.


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