Wednesday, April 08, 2009

We Apologize

I realize we've been slackin' around here. See my Grandmother... my dad's mom... died friday morning. We've been runnin' around like chickens without heads ever since. At any rate.... we've been to Cincinnatti and back... and we now resume some semblence of our regular schedule.

Rest assured... just after we crossed the border back into Kentucky we changed the tires on the vehicles and threw away our boots so as to prevent any transfer of tainted yankee soil into our beloved Dixie. I speak for not only myself but can also vouch for JAC.

We also have a couple tales... though I'm a little to tired to relate them all tonight. I'll tell ya about one though...

See Jeb's favorite book is an encyclopedia of fighter planes. Literally ever aircraft ever built for the purposes of air-to-air combat is included. It starts in 1914 with the Fokker E1 and goes all the way through to present with the F-35. It tells the history, cost, design process, and specifications of every fighter built anywhere on the planet.

We read it. Every day.

Now some of you may know that my cousin Bryan happens to be an honest-to-God-no-shit Fighter Pilot. He flies an F-16. And also as you can certainly guess... I was very excited about introducing Jeb to him.

Upon said introduction... Jeb had one question. He looked Bryan in the eye and said.. skeptically I might add, "How fast does an F-16 go?"

This is where the trouble started.

"Well... it goes a lot faster than I'm willing to fly it."

Jeb was not impressed. Bryan realized this and tried to recover...

"It goes about 600mph buddy."

Jeb looked at Brian... Looked at me... and shook his head. That was that.

Later on we all went to the steak house and Bryan and I were recalling the little conversation... I had to point out how badly he'd screwed up. Bryan's a bright one though... he knew it.

"Yeah... I realized he knew he ment top speed when I said 600mph and he looked at me like I was a dumbass."

See... Jeb knows full well that the F-16's top speed exceeds 1,320mph. He examines it every day.

See? This is what happens when you talk to one of my boys like you're talkin' to a kid.

Don't let none of this fool ya though. I've been lookin' forward to seeing Brian and finally meeting his wife and beautiful little girl for a long time. A classier group you'll not run across. We got to meet another cousin's fiance'... that'd be Amy... Brian's little sister... a doll in every sense who's found herself a fine husband. Though I cannot imagine what possessed her to bring him to family fuctions before she had secured the deal with contractually.

I just wish we could've gotten together under better circumstances.

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