Bad Joke Wednesday

Let's start with my boy Eli's favorite joke.

What's a whale's favorite game?

Swallow the leader.

Why is bra singular but panties is plural?

What do you get when you cross the atlantic ocean with the Titanic?

Halfway.

Did you hear about the cannibal that got expelled?

He was buttering up his teacher.

Man walks into a bar looking forlorn. Bartender asks him, "You've been walking on air for weeks mate, what's wrong?" The man says... "My wife an I had a fight and she kicked me out for a month. Months up today."

Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Hey.. My name's Pavlov. Ring a bell?

Why does a moon rock taste better than an earth rock?

Its a little meteor.

Bert asked Earnie if he wanted some ice cream. Earnie said, "sure, Bert."

Why do bicycles fall over?

Because they're two-tired.

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

Same middle name.

Bad Joke Wednesday

Porcus gets us started off:

When I was in Alaska a couple of years back; the joke went like this...Two important rules for hikers in Bear Country:
1. Wear bells and carry pepper spray. Bells will alert bears to your prescence and pepper spray can be useful in deterring aggressive bears.

2. Watch for evidence of bears as you travel. Bears can easily be identified by their scat. Black bears leave small, dark, round droppings that typically include seeds and plant residue. Grizzly bears leave enormous piles of caynene pepper scented feces which often includes bells.

Now how about some ol' classics?


- What's tuba plus tuba?

Fourba.


- How does the ocean say hi to the beach?

He gives a little wave.


- Where was the Declaration of Independance signed?

At the bottom!


- How did Vikings communicate?

By norse code!





Luke contributes this little jewel:

An atom walks into a bar, gets wasted. As he's leaving, he slaps his pockets and says, "Damn, I've lost an electron". The bartender said "Are you sure?"

So the atom says, "I'm positive!"