Wednesday, November 01, 2006


As I am sure you're all aware, Halloween is my most favorite holiday. Oh, its not the one that's the most important to me... that's Christmas... but for sheer fun, Halloween is unbeatable... and as you can see... we did it right.

Well actually you can't see... because bloggers photo server has apparently gone tits up.
i'll get some up eventually though.

For now.. lets talk about the holiday for a minute. Cause I'm pretty pissed about the way things are going.

I've come to accept that practically everything about the US has gone to shit... but for some reason the deterioration of Halloween has struck a nerve. When I was growing up I remember running wild through my neighborhood in a pack of 9 or 10 other kids... scaring every kid we could find... gathering massive amounts of candy... it was a contest to see who got the most... who got the best.

We learned quickly never to carry paper sacks... because other kids would put ice cubes in them when you weren't looking... and the bottom would drop out... exposing your loot to all manner of shiftless lay-abouts.

We were not escorted house by house by two parents... hell bent on insuring no one got more than 1 piece of candy. Carting them around in a minivan stop at each driveway, because heaven forbid the poor darlings have to walk more than 25 steps.

And it worked both ways. My boys went to every house in my neighborhood, where they recieved an average of about 1.2 pieced of candy per house.

Are you serious?

We egged houses that limited us to one or two pieces of candy! And you did to dammit! We once rolled a guys house so bad it looked like it was mummified... and for that extra spice, I dropped trou and took a crap on his porch!

That's Halloween dammit!

The little kids go out early and look cute for everyone... then the big kids come out for a night of chaos! That's what its about!

And while these Halloween Scrooges were handing out one piece of candy per child... I was giving out a massive handful of candy and a capri sun drink to every kid, and offering a mountain dew to every parent. We had everything from fruit cups, to slim jims, to smarties in our box of goodies... and still I had to almost get into an argument with one battleaxe mom who refused to allow me to give her child more than one item.

Like so many other things... this nuetered version of Halloween leaves me cold.

Can America do anything right anymore?

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