The Audacity of Stupid

I feel the need to remind you that I don't like people. Nor do I particularly care for going into public... because they are so commonly found there. Occasionally... though.. I am forced to.

Like today... in an effort of good will I took my mother-in-law's trash to the local dump.

Now I have to think that for most folks this is a routine errand... and should be utterly uneventful. Of course... its just these type of things that invariably gets me into trouble.

But I knew that's just what would happen as soon as I saw the so-called dump. See... dumps don't exist anymore... now you have Recycling Temples.. were the worthy come to give their offerings to the Goddess.

Anyway... so... clearly I'm to approachable. I say that with confidence... because in spite of wearing tactical boots and pants, complete with a steyr in a shoulder rig and a backup on my hip... I still find myself addressed by inferiors.

I got out of the escalade... carried the trash bags through the maze of depositories and the hippies milling about... and threw the bags down into the compactor... when I heard...

"Young man were there any recyclables in those bags?"

I turned to see a damned dirty hippie... a wretched old man with a long white beard and ridiculous ponytale... He wore a ratty t-shirt... skin tight... short shorts... black socks and tennis shoes.

I wanted to shoot him. I against my better judgement... I did not. I paused... thought.. and said..

"Well... old man... if I say no will that keep you from diving into that compactor after them in a wild last ditch effort to save the planet?"

He blinked several times at me... and finally I said, "Yes. Yes I believe there were." And walked off.