Friday, August 18, 2006


I'm freaked out... Help me freak out.

See that right there? That's why you drink fine bourbon. A little sip... and suddenly... you don't give a damn.

Now where were we? Vice Cabinets! That's what I was gonna blog on tonight... Lets talk about 'em. Now, I don't know that anyone else has ever even heard the term vice cabinet before... probly because I made it up. Reckon that means a definition is in order:

Vice Cabinet: Cabinet in which one stores objects relating to his vices.

Ladies... you don't get a vice cabinet. Your night stand has a drawer.

So what goes in it? Booze and Tobacco mostly... at least that's what's in mine. All of pipes... my humidor... my wine tools... my smoking tools. Everything. I also store my booze, a couple decantures... glasses... its like a one stop shop of all good things. I am seriously considering placing a really nice Bible in it as well. But what you put in it is up to you. Your vices may not be mine. Remember though... this is an object of discretion... I seriously doubt you really want to display your sex toys and porn. That's not to say they can't go in your VC. But you should at least put them in a locked box in your VC.

So what do vice cabinetts look like?

Vice cabinetts are specific type of china cabinett. They have plenty of shelf space... preferably with doors and lights to display your fine whiskey... and they need an open spot to actually pour the booze, or to sit the humidor when you get it down to make your selections. The perfect vice cabinet is like a server with a hutch on it, leaving nearly the whole top of the server available for workspace, and still providing enclosed storage above.

That's function... now lets talk style... Its my opinion... and since I invented the classification my opinion is pretty f'ing important... that vice cabinets should be masculine as all hell. They should be big solid pieces of wood furniture that no one in his right mind would ever move. Ornate is fine... curves are fine... carving... all those things bespeak craftmenship.. which is honoured in the class of manly arts. Boys... this is your one piece of furniture. This... and ok... the gun safe... basicly this all you get. Damn the torpedos. It needs to be something you like, that you picked out. If your wife bows up about it, bow up right back. Its not her vice cabinet. Its yours. You don't tell her what kind of jewelry box to buy. Tell her to mind her own damned buisness.

That said... it really shouldn't be a problem at all. Its been my experience that women greatly support the vice cabinet. It organizes things that would otherwise lend to chaos... and its location is totally up in the air. If I may suggest though... wherever the boys congregrate is the best location. If you have a library that you like to hang out in after dinner while the ladies chit chat... It should be there. If you retire to the family room to watch the game... that's fine to. The point is to make your vices accessible... yet classy.

Now I am ashamed to admit that I have been without a vice cabinet since we moved. The little lady stole her grandmother's china cabinet back from me... which was the original vice cabinet... and now I have been without for months.

But fear not! Tomarrow is the day. My new... amazingly awesome... 6-foot wide... 6-foot tall solid cherry vice cabinet arrives tomarrow morning! And lo... all shlall be right with the world.

Yes.. once its organized and up and running... I will post pics.

One request before we get on with it...

Has anyone shot a 24/7 or Walther P99? Anyone? Anyone?

Whatcha drinking?

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