Wednesday, August 23, 2006

A System of Limited Courts

Wild Turkey inspired... I ponder... ponder with me.

Imagine if you will... peanut oil... 400 degree peanut oil... its not boiling.. because it doesn't boil until you put something in it... so perhaps... the lawyers and judges might not know what we have in mind until they're dropped in. They'll hiss and scream like feminist lobsters... smells like progress.

I'm sick of the legal system we have in this country... its time we got back to justice. Stoning and Lynching says I. Mobs are considerably more expiditious than our court system.. more accurate... and far more sober as well. Folks know how mobs work. They're predictable.

For example... take that famous case of a football player killing a pretty blonde girl in his drive way.

Everyone knew he did it. In any decent country, the people would've mobbed up and hung the bastard that very night. Problem solved.

Compare our courts... slow police chases... thousands of hours of something masqurading as analysis from blobs of tofu masqurading as experts... and that was before the court case even started. Worse yet... we were all forced to watch. Ok... not forced.. but nearly. All that... and they got it wrong.

You favour this?

Of course mob justice gets some wrong. So does our system. So really we're aguing over details... details that no one actually knows.

And what is a court anyway? Its a mob. Its just a slow mob. Its the state that charges. Its the jury that convicts. And who is the Jury? Right. A mob. A lazy mob... but a mob to be sure.

Ahh.. you say... but but but.... the courts bring order! Why, without the courts... bill kills fred.. fred's family kills bill... bill's family kills some of freds family... ect ect ect. Yes I say. So what? For the most part families can, and will, work out their problems on their own. All families have a sorry, no good, lay about, worthless, shiftless sum-bitch in them somewhere... and when he does something stupid, odds are they'll let him suffer the consequences.

Feuds will still happen... but so what? Feuds are fun! A damned site more interesting than Greta Van Dyke fresh off of her 57th plastic surgery, regurgitating something she thinks she heard some blob of bean curd say once.

Nope... its settled... Me and ol' Bill see eye-to-eye on this one. First we have to kill the lawyers. I've got 4 hundered elements and a 12,000 watt natural gas generator... gimmie a day or two to fill up the pool with peanut oil and we'll be in business.

Y'all Come!

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