Making a Man

Last night I was putting my boys to bed. I was talking to them about their day like I always do... when Jeb looked up and said, "Daddy... I'm growing up."

I chuckled a little and said, "Why do you say that buddy?"

"Well..." That's how he always starts off important thoughts... "Today I was on top of that tall sliding board, and I was scared. I was really scared. But then... I stopped and I thought... I have to face my fears. So I did... and I just slid down that sliding board. And that's what you do daddy. That's part of being a man. Like being responsible. So see? I'm growing up."

Yeah.. I admit it... I'm a daddy blogger.

Deal with it.

TAT Prep

Well boys its that time of year again. Time to rig up the KLX and head out to God's Nowhere in search of adventure if not fortune.

JAC and I are heading for Oklahoma. The initial plan is to follow the trail through Oklahoma, New Mexico.. through Colorado across the Great Divide... all the way to the Utah line.

1569 mile of dirt road for anyone interested.

We still have a few weeks before we go.. so its time to start getting the bike ready.

So far I'm thinking:

*** Smaller rear sprocket... maybe a couple teeth smaller. I want to be able to really pop the front wheel if I have to. Big rocks out there. Also... I'm looking at a

*** Larger fuel tank. It only has a 1.8 gallon tank. It gets around 70mpg so that's nice... but a 2.7 gallon tank sounds a lot nicer.

*** A better bash plate.

*** Heavy duty radiator guards.

*** Substancial luggage. At least one legit waterproof compartment.

*** Satelite communications device. Either a phone or a Spot. Recommendations welcome.

*** Big Bore Revolver. The .44 mag may have to do. I doubt the bears will be impressed.

Suggestions welcome.

Eusebius, Africanus, and Josephus

"That a Prince shall not fail Judah, nor a ruler from his loins, until He should come for whom it is reserved." Gen 49-10

Now I realize your Bible doesn't exactly say that. But that... is precisely what the prophesy means... and it is what the ancient historians Africanus and Eusebius understood as they invariably quoted from the Septuagint.

Making the prophesy even more plain... it simply says that Jews will ruled by Jews until the Savior comes.

Now looking back at the jewish people's history we see sucession unbroken all the way back to Moses... High Priests and Kings were replaced in an oligoliarchic aristocratic form of government that was not broken until Herod.

Aristibulus had been both King and High Prist by sucession until Herod removed him and gave the post to his brother Hyacanus who had befriended Herod as a child. Hyacanus was the last of the High Priests by sucession. After him, Herod began appointing obscure figures.

Now consider this.

By the time Christ arrived... the priesthood was in utter shambles. The highest offices were occupied by political appointees.

Does this not show the trial Jesus faced in a slightly different light? When you think of the old jewish priests rejecting Jesus as a threat... doesn't it seem a little different when you consider that they were no more than political hacks being rewarded for some favor previously performed? According to Eusebius... It was not the true jewish leadership that rejected Jesus. It was a bunch of Jessie Jackson's and Al Sharptons.

I haven't even finished Book I of Eusebius' Ecclesiastic History... and yet I've found my mind at a buffet. It is a feast for thought. Its a view of history we are simply not exposed to.

ATF

Well... here we sit. The boys are all in the bed... Alestorm blares merrily from the speakers. All is right with the world. Seriously. Pirate Metal. What could be more awesome?

Now.. the question of the night is this... under appreciated firearms. Name some. Name some truely awesome firearms that no one cares about today... or that just never got the recognition they deserve. Pistols... Rifles... Shotguns... everything. You name it. I'll start you off with three:

Savage 99: Finest lever action ever made. Unreasonably accurate. Awesome original cartridge for its day. Superior to the winchester lever gun in every possible way.

Steyr M-series: This won't suprise anyone. You know how much I love the weapons. You know that know one even knows what the hell they are.

FAL: The AK-47 may be the hammer of communism... but the FAL is Western Civilization's right arm.

A: New Castle
T: Romeo y Julieta
F: M&P 15... Ruger Vaquero .44 mag. Just because.

Alestorm - Nancy The Tavern Wench

Pirate Metal. The greatest musical advancement of the 21st century.

Coed Writing is Fun!

English 44A, SMU, Creative Writing, Prof. Miller.

In-class Assignment for Wednesday:"Today we will experiment with a new form called thetandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair offwith the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of youwill then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

"The following was actually turned in by two of my English students: Rebecca - last name deleted, and Gary - last name deleted."

_____ STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) ________

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and acros sthe cockpit.

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4."Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth -- when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.


Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race.Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized Laurie and 85 millionother Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table."We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"


This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent,chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.


Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.



Asshole.



Bitch.

*** I am aware that this has gone around the net... but some of you may not have seen it... and you can look it up on snopes. It has been verified as much as anything can.***

Obama Opossum




Doubtful many of you remember this... but back in the Great Depression... ol' Hoover promised a chicken in every pot. That didn't really work out to well of course.

Folks were so poor they were forced to eat armadillos... and to mock their president... they took to calling them Hoover Hogs.

Looks tastey doesn't it?

I know you're thinkin' next year is 2010. But financially speaking... its 1931.

Wonder what the poor folks are gonna boilin' in their pots come next February?

Moon Timing

Ok... so according to NASA the decision to go to the moon was made in 1961. Also according to NASA we landed on the moon for the first time in 1969.

It took around 8 years to get to the moon the first time. That was using 1960's design techniques and technology.

Also according to NASA... the name of the mission that will finally put us back on the moon is Orion 13. It is scheduled to take place in 2019.

So think about that. It took 8 years to get the moon the first time. But... even though the Constellation Program has already been in the works for years its going to take us at least another 10 to get back.

And of course... lets just set asside the fact that the whole Constellation Program looks like a massive Apollo do-over.

No matter... Virgin Galactic will have a hotel on the moon before NASA gets back there with their pathetic 1960's rocket.

One Last Night



Well believe it or not the girl just wasnt ready for this vacation to be done. So, we opted for one more night. We've been through Topeka, Manhattan, and Kansas City Kansas... all the way across the wretched state of Misery and the barren hell of Illinois... I never thought I'd be happy to see Indiana... but after all those miles at 55mph I surely was. So it was through Indiana and across the Ohio to Kentucky... through my old home town of Owensboro and down to Bowling Green.



And here we are.

Greetings from Paxico Kansas

Well a good day on the road has found us in Kansas... we're hold up in a fine little campground with everything a family needs in these parts. We've got a fire ring... a creek to skip stones in... a playground... wifi... and of course... a storm shelter.

Clear skies... for what its worth. Which... in Kansas.. ain't much.

Sometime remind me to tell ya about the All you can eat ribeye, sirloin, ribs, and prime rib buffet.

Holy crap dude.

Yankee Hospitality

A contradiction in terms without question but it appears that Waterboy's wife must've taught him a thing or two about the southern tradition.

I gave the ol' boy a call lastnight around supper time and... ok... I have to be honest... initially he claimed he couldn't grab a beer with me because he had to get a perm.

Read that again.

He had to get a perm. I realize he'll protest this... but I will place my hand on a Bible and swear the truth of it. Anyway after working out a schedule that would allow for his beauty treatments we met up a little micro brewery that was just down the road from me.

Phantom Canyon I believe is the name of the place. I had the cream ale or some such. Damned good. A fine plate of pork chops followed a couple of those I believe... then it was out to the bench to smoke a couple fine cigars that dear ol' Aqua lad had just aquired.

No shit boys this was one of the best cigars I've ever smoked. Romeo y Julieta Museum Edition. The thing came in a hand painted tube. Unbelieveable. It was so good I almost feel bad for sharing that bit about him getting a perm... almost.

At any rate its always fun to meet you guys. I can now add Waterboy to the list along with Luke, Underwater Operative, and Bill. Shame I missed out on meeting Res... but what with him swoonin' lately I figured he must need his rest.

So thanks for the hospitality Waterboy. Ya make one helluva a host... even when you're hostin' a no good redneck.

Greetings from Colorado Springs


So...

If a man wanted to drink and smoke with some God fearin' liberty lovin' folk... where could he do so? I apologize for not keeping y'all better updated on our progress... but mechanical difficulties left us in Albequerque last night and we just got in a couple hours ago.

We're here till saturday in the AM.

Suggestions welcome.

Kindred Spirits

While we were on the train we found ourselves chattin' with one of the cowboys that had participated in the Old West Shootout. Big ol' boy... also happened to be mayor of Williams, AZ where we were camping.

I had talked to him for quite a while when Jeb came up and asked, "Excuse me.. But why do cowboys always fight indians?"

His answer was both correct and insightful.

"Well young man... the fact is cowboys didn't fight the indians. The Calvary did. So really... the Indians fought against the same people you folks did... and for the same reason."

Reckon our southron accents gave us away.

It was a little suprising when he went on to add...

"Of course lookin' back I'd say the indians got a better deal than you folks did. I mean at least they have the reservations and their own governments."

Ouch.

Junk in Space

Well... here it is. Look at that crack boys. That's an Apollo command module. And yes... there is rust on the crack.

Hey look... missing rivets! I guess all the stress of sitting around in the desert was to much for the state of the art 1920's technology... they just started falling out.

And what's that stuff in the seems? Is that... oh my... yep... its caulk. You can actually pick it out with your finger nail.

Another view of the very large crack. Looks confidence inspiring doesn't it?

Wow look at that sweet welded seem! So smooth! Oh no wait...

That's more caulk.

Big Day at the Canyon

I have to share a few short stories...

While riding the train up... Jeb and I made our way to the rear of the car where a large groop of limeys informed us that there was a "que". While standing in line I overheard one of the women remarking about the excellent landscaping. I'm paraphrasing here but it went something like this:

"The landscaping is unbelieveable. I mean you really feel like you're out in the middle of nowhere. You'd never know you were in the middle of a modern industrialized country."

I had to let that sink in for a while... I kept listening and confirmed that she honestly believed there effectively in the middle of civilization. Like a park that if you just got off the train and walked a couple minutes you'd find a gas station and hotel.

Once in the park... I found myself in a little ice cream shop waiting in another line. There was a group of teenaged girls in front of me... more brits... and an Aussie behind me who was inexplicably sober. The aussie was an old man having the time of his life and he was talking to anyone and everyone around him including me and the girls.

The subject of knives came up and he asked about them being illegal in England. They were chatting about what made a knife illegal and what did not when one of them stated that civilized people don't carry knives and knives are not necessary in a proper society.

She then made the egregious error of asking me if knives were legal to own in America.

I flashed my fancy digital camo SOG open... and the girl damned near lost her composure completely. She went pale. Her eyes got big as saucers... and she started stuttering. "W... why would carry that?"

"How else would I cut my nails?"

The aussie was behind me making a heroic effort to stifle his cackles.

"That knife is of no use."

"I know. That's why we carry firearms sweetheart."

"You own guns???"

"Several. And I carry two or three everywhere I go. My wife carries a Glock .45."

At this point the aussie chimed in. "Mate... that's a fine woman."

Ok... one last story.

If you'll notice in the pictures above the squirrels are extremely friendly. Of them took quite a shine to the boys and kept coming up to them to check them out. He got so close to Elkan... that the boy picked up the bottle water we had resting on the wall and tilted it down for the squirrel.

"Eat?" offered the generous 2-year-old.

The squirrel was clearly tempted... but noting the looming father figure... he wisely scurried off.

Williams Arizona

And we're here... finally. Holy cow dude. Damned 2000 miles thanks to side trips. Big fun though. Today we walked down to an Ice Cave. Its a collapsed lava tube that is so cold there's a huge puddle of ice at the bottom year round. Even though the land around it is 98 degrees. Truely bizarre.

Up next was the Hole. No not the Grand Canyon... that's tomarrow after the train ride. No... I'm talking about the meteor crater.

I was amused to no end to find an honest to God Apollo Command module on display there. I'm sure you'll love the pictures. Oh yeah... this thing was truely built to last. Rivets falling out all over the place... CAULK failing... CAULK DUDE! Rusted cracks... yeah. This thing went to the moon and back. Of course it did.

Anyway... MANY pictures. I'll upload them in the morning. But dude... its late and I gotta get up to meet the train in the AM.

Y'all be cool.

Oh yeah... I almost forgot...

Flagstaff S U C K S.

Greetings from Albuquerque

Is that the only name or word in our language that has 3 u's in it? I need to know these things. Alas... as you can see we've covered some serious ground in these 2 days. It means we haven't had a lot of picture stops... in fact... we've had precisely none. But that will change tomarrow. I planned it this way. I wanted to leave time tomarrow to hit some of the cool sites in Arizona... like the big crater... the so-called Land of Fire and Ice... stuff that will be a big hit for the boys. We aren't planning on being at Williams until late tomarrow night anyway... so we're good.

Of course... most of the day was once again spent on concrete roads. I swear I'm pissing blood. But at least after we hit New Mexico we had stuff to look at. Man is it gorgeous out here. We drove just south of a storm front for a good 80 miles out here... you could see the whole thing. Lots of lightening... lots of rain... just like cloud curtains slithering down to earth... stunning.

We don't have that back east boys. Big Sky Country has already made the impression that I knew it would.

The down side off course is that constant 30mph wind from the southwest. God does that suck. A well.. at least its not hot. It only got up to 102 today.. but it felt a damn site cooler than what 102 feels like at home. 102 back there will kill you. This wasn't a big deal. The wind was more irritating than the heat.

Now to make things more interesting... I'm camping next to a modern day Virgil Earp. White hair... handlebar mustache... walks around carryin' a mil spec 1911 cocked and locked in a korea era leather holster (I have one just like it). Way cool. Told me he drove down from Alaska.

He spat and said... "Fuckin' Canada. Gas was $7.45 there. God Damned Commie fuckers. All to pay for insurance cards that they can carry around and not get healthcare with. Then he spat again... and said, "That fuckin' spook president of ours... he wants that same shit. (Pats the 1911) Well I got something for him if he does."

Oh... by the way...

Wanna feel old?

Today was Elkan's second birthday. Celebrated on the road with his favorite toys and favorite food. He's even getting to swim here at the campground. Big stuff y'all.

I'm gonna sign off. Time for a shower and cigar. Big day tomarrow. Big damned day.

Greetings from Wal-Mart

Those of you unfamiliar with the RV lifestyle will no doubt find this odd... but tonight I'm blogging from a parking lot just west of Oklahoma City. See Wally World has a company policy that allows RVs to stay overnight in the parking lots of their stores.

Hey... its convenient... and free.

Its been a good day... in spite of the fact that people from Mexico think Oklahoma's roads suck. I mean they're 1 step up from Meeechigan's pathetic system. I'll probably piss blood from the beating we took on these "roads" today.

I swear anyone who advocates concrete interstates should be beaten within an inch of their lives.

Anyway... highlight of the day was definately driving down the road with the family singing American Pie at the top of their lungs.

Yes.

We're dorks.

We'll be somewhere in New Mexico the next time I blog I reckon. I'll start providing some pictures when we have something worth taking a photo of.

Satisfaction

I asked Eli if he liked to fish.

He said...

I don't go fishin'. I go catchin'.

Nothing to Show for It

TARP I and TARP II combined add up to 700 billion dollars in government expense. Now... 700 billion is a big number. Its so big in fact that its hard for the average human to grasp. They hear 700 billion but their brain just classifies that as a really big number. If you'd said 600 million their brain would've done the same thing. There's no difference without scale.

With that in mind... I want to show you some scale.

Here are some construction projects... and examples of what we could've done with that 700 billion.

* Taipei 101 is the worlds tallest completed building. It cost 1.8 billion to build. We could've built 388 of them.

* Wembley Stadium is the most expensive stadium ever built. It cost 1.5 billion. We could've built 466 of them.

* The new Cowboys Stadium in Texas costs 1 billion. We could've put 14 of them in each and every state of the union.

* Burg Al Arab is the third tallest hotel building in the world and worlds only 7-Star hotel. We could've built 1,076 of them and spread them all over the interstate system of America. There would be 21 of them in Iowa alone.

* Boston's Big Dig cost 14 billion. We reproduced it in the 50 largest cities in America.

* CERN... the scientific marvel... cost 6 billion. We could've built 116 of them.

* NASA requested 3.6 billion to send men to the Moon and then on to Mars. That is one half of one percent of the cost of the TARP program. Sorry... no picture of this program. We couldn't afford to do it.

Epic Journey


I do not throw the word "epic" around lightly. So when I say we are on the verge of heading out on such a trip... you may trust that hyperbole has not paid a visit.

We sit at T minus 33 hours.


At 6:30am Thursday morning we roll for the Grand Canyon. 1556 miles. 26 hours driving time. Its been decades since I've seen it. My wife has never seen it. My boys have never seen it. Hell... now that I think of it... they've never been west of Dallas. I fully expect New Mexico to rock their world.


I'm not allowing myself the luxury of a massive itinerary. Its to long a trip for that. I have to stay focused. We're going to the Canyon. After that... who knows. We may head over to Lake Havasu and check out London Bridge... and on the way home I mean to stop in Colorado Springs and check out the Tesla Museum. Monument Valley would obviously be worth a look if its at all possible... but all of that has to wait. For now its the Canyon.







I know I suck at posting pictures and updates from these trips... but I promise to do better this time. I've tested my phone and its working well as a wireless modem. We're all set. Look forward to some ridiculous pictures.

I don't know if you've ever been on an RV trip... but I'll do everything I can to help ya feel like you're coming along on this one.

So... to give you the particulars... we'll be heading out from Nashville west on I-40 all the way to Arizona. All but the last 54 miles will be on I-40. We'll be in our 2005 Itasca Suncruiser. Same RV as the one in the picture up there. Its got the GM 8.1 litre and fully loaded down gets about 7.5mpg. Its got 2 slide outs and all the comforts of home. Every whistle and bell you can imagine is there. Just finished the shake-down trip this weekend and learned I need tires. I've made arrangements to get her shod tomorrow.

The rig sleeps 6. Couch makes a queen bed... dinette makes a bed... and Julie and I get the bedroom. If you count Elkan's crib it sleeps 7. We usually don't worry with the dinette. The rig has Corian counter tops and stainless steel appliances in the fully functional kitchen. Its got more storage than most European kitchens. No offense Spacebunny. We can store several weeks worth of food. Hard to imagine in an RV. The rig has a huge shower in a huge bathroom. Two people can use it... maybe three.

So I've got a CB... I've got redundant heat.. both gas and electric. I've got an Onan generator that puts out 50amps. I've got dual power fridge... gas and electric. The water heater is the only system that is not redundant. I've got a backup camera... nav system...everything a man needs. No seriously... this thing is so loaded it has a remote automatic awning that monitors the wind direction and speed and will close itself if it gets to rough outside.

Of course it has to have that awning. I mean.. we can't be playing Wii on the outdoor entertainment center in the rain now can we? Yes. Yes. This is camping. Wii on an LCD screen... outside. I dare say even Vox could camp like this. And don't tell me we're not roughing it. We're only talking about a 27 inch screen here. It makes that little tennis ball very hard to see.

Oh... and in motion satellite. There is something very satisfying driving down the interstate at 70mph with excellent satellite reception. Oh... and did I mention it has a humidor?

All right boys... more updates as necessary.

What We Know and What We Don't

***UPDADTED***

Ok... the bloggerblaster ain't gonna turn into TMZ... but I will update you on the situation so far.

* The police have still not declared this a murder-suicide.

* They are very concerned about the length of time between the discovery of the bodies and 911 call. It took 40 minutes.

* There is reason to believe that evidence was moved around in the room before the police arrived on the scene. But the police are adamand that the bodies were not moved.

* The chick was arrested for DUI.. and purchased the firearm found on the scene less than 12 hours later from a private individual who didn't realize she was under 21.

* 5 shots total fired. 3 at greater than 3 feet hit McNair. 1 up close to his temple. 1 to her temple with the weapon flush against her head.

Now do keep in mind... this is not CSI. This is the real world.. and here in the real world they really can't tell you what caliber weapon killed someone if they don't find the cartridge and read the stamp on the bottom of it. Also... remember... Ballistic information is entirely fictional.

Anyway.. its entirely possible that this was a murder suicide. I would just caution you all to remember that this girl had probably never shot a weapon before... and she scored 5 hits in 5 shots... including 1 head shot at greater than 3 feet... and she did this in such a manner that a world class athlete that was known to go heels didn't so much as touch his own weapon.

It doesn't smell right folks. It really doesn't smell right.

***

Police have finally reported that the weapon recovered under the girl's body was a semi-automatic. They've also stated that McNair was shot 2 times in the chest... and 1 time in each temple. One of the temple shots was from a distance.

Yeah... a rookie did this. Right.

Chickens and Eggs

Here's a question... Which came first Christianity or Judaism?

The Hebrew trace their religion all the way back to Abraham. So on the surface the answer is obvious... But does piety begin with that paterfamilias?

What of Noah? What of Noah's sons? Where they not both pius? If one calls those pius men from Abraham onward Hewbrew... and from Christ on Christian... what does one call those who came before Abraham?

Noah was not circumcised. He didn't avoid certain foods. Nor is there any record of him honoring a particular sabbath or another. He kept no feasts... and yet there can be no doubt that he was a man of God.

Piety existed before the Law given to Moses. It existed in men who were described as such not for keeping any laws, but for their love of the Lord and their treatment of others. Therefore I should say that if one were to describe these men as Christian, in fact if not in name, then one wouldn't be far from the truth.

Christianity is not an Abrahamic Religion. Its far more ancient than that.

On the Death of a Warrior

Steve McNair was not my hero. He was not my favorite player on the Titans teams he lead. But he did lead them. He was the undisputed leader of a football team in a way that most quarterbacks will never be.

I don't know the details. I'm not even in Nashville right now. I'll povide some links to more thoughtful reaction from those who knew the man. Right now...

Right now I'm gonna drink.

Daddy Blogging

I've said if before but if we'd known what kind of pure entertainment value there is in having kids... we would've done it sooner. Now... all you serious intellectual bloggers can turn your noses up because I'm about to tell a story or two about my boys.

So the other day Jeb comes walking down stairs with his hand over his eye. He's not really crying... but he's obviously hurting pretty bad.

"Daddy... Daddy... Eli stabbed me in the eye with his red sword... and it hurts so bad I lost my jay."

...

Don't get me wrong. I'm certain that Eli didn't stab Jeb in the eye deliberately. Not that he wouldn't under the right circumstances but the child just doesn't have that kind of deadly skill... yet. After determining that no real damage had been done I had some questions...

"Well... we were sword fighting... and I went like this! chish chishh shwoosh! Then Eli went swish! and he stabbed me in the eye and I lost my jay."

...

"You lost your Jay?"

"Yeah... I lost my Jay."

...

"So now you're just... Eb?"

"Yeah... I'm just Eb. I lost my J."