Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Fortune Cookie Wisdom

It is easier to keep half a dozen lovers guessing than to keep one lover after he has stopped guessing. - Helen Rowland

I don't say we all ought to misbehave, but we ought to look as if we could. - Orson Wells

Ok... let's talk about Valentines Day protocol...

Listen carefully. Valentines Day is not about love. Its about fun for the girls. The best thing you can do is give them something to talk about with their friends. They love it. If that something has a mildly naughty twist to it... all the better.

Some basic rules:

- Don't humiliate yourself. This is the biggest mistake guys make. They write lame poetry, or sing.... or make some sappy statement in front of a crowd. To a girl, this is like a Harley Davidson. It looks a lot more fun than it is. Some of them, especially the young ones, think they want you to do crap like this. Don't. Doing so is committing man suicide. They'll think you're a pussy for the rest of your life.

- Don't go psycho overboard with the gift. It's about fun. If you have to buy her a rock, do it for your 10 year anniversary.

- Its not about you. She's probably not going to get you anything. If you complain about this, or expect it, or show even the slightest hint that you're disappointed, you're a big pussy.

- Suprise her. Always suprise her.

Now... some suggestions... Ya can't go wrong ording something and having it delivered to where-ever she is on the relevant day. Doesn't matter if its flowers, or a gift... have it delivered. Where-ever she is, there will be chicks... and they will have almost as much fun as your girl will. They love this stuff. The net is a glorious thing boys. Use it.

So what did DrWho get?

I sent her mildly-naughty pajamagram, and had it delivered to the ORs. Its a set of pajamas with "Devilisous" written on them. The box had some naughty fortune cookies... naughty dice... a "Do Not Disturb" sign like you see in hotels, and a little card that said, "Why don't you slip into something a little more comfortable?"

Cheesy fun kids. They love it.

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