Thursday, May 01, 2008


Its not Friday? Piss off. It is in Australia.

A: Bourbon... Eagle Rare... Beware.
T: Cumberland Twist
F: Many. Many Many Many.

So this afternoon I'm sitting at an intersection in the middle of nowhere... hell I was 20 minutes from nowhere... and this account executive on his shiney Harley Davidson FLTISOISDNFFSLFDJ (which by the way translates to "same shitty bike with different bolt ons) pulls up beside me.

"I could tell that was rice from a mile away."

"Yeah? No shit. That's because it wasn't leakin' oil all over the road."

After my reply he just looked at me... like he couldn't believe I said it. Ya think I couldn't have a Harley if I wanted one? Any dumbass with a 600 credit score can get one of those pieces of junk and make payments on it like all the other suckers.

No thanks.

I have what I have because its what I want. So yeah... its rice... and ya know what? I'll bet rice dust tastes like crap. Of course i wouldn't know.

But he does.

Ya know... when I was 19.. I thought Harleys were badass. I loved them. I wouldn't dream of buying anything else.. even though I secretly loved the looks of the Suzuki Intruder... no no... if it didn't say Harley... it sucked.

Of course... I didn't actually start riding motorcycles until I was... 28? Only after I had ridden for a while did I realize... Harley sucks. They suck mechanicly. Their performance sucks. They suck in virtually every way they can suck... except marketing. They may have the best marketing in the world. I have to give them that.

So it was with great satisfaction that I told the old bastard... "anytime you're ready."

He punched it.

I twisted my right wrist... but not all the way...

and he disappeared behind me... not nearly as fast as he would've if I'd been on the CBR1000... but then again... if I had been on the Black King... he never would've tried in the first place.

My bike cost a fraction of his... and yet it blew his away. Its more reliable... it turns quicker and with less effort... its more stable at speed... oh... but it doesn't qualify for the club.

Yeah.. that's a shame. I lose sleep over that.

You can have your club. I prefer to actually ride.

No comments: