Friday, July 01, 2005

Country's Biggest Sissies

I hate sissies in country music... it's like gay football players... it just ain't right. Here are the ones who stand out the most...

Jeff Bates: Every time "Long Slow Kisses" comes on I get sick to my stomache. I get angry. I want to find this moron and choke him. He sounds like some unholy cross between an a day time soap actor and a porno star...

Josh Grayson: How did this guy end up with a solo career? Was Rascal Flatts all filled up at the moment? He doesn't look country. He doesn't sound country. What the hell makes this pop singing nancy-boy country?

Tim McGraw: Only this moron could write a song called "Back When" complaining about country turnin' into Pop, then go out and do a duet with Nelly. I don't know who else is in the runnin' this year... but when it comes time to talk about the Dipshit Hall of Fame, I'm nominatin' Tim McGraw. Don't even get me started on his new line of makeup for men.. or his manicures...

Lonestar: Suck. Holy COW do they suck. Everything they write... everything they sing... makes me want to tear out my own ear drums for fear of havin' to listen to 5 more seconds of their sappy trash.

Rascal Flatts: Oh... so THIS is what happens to the Backstreet Boys when they grow up. Seriously.. it's like.. an older.... whiter.. Menudo... I mean... didn't they cover "The Right Stuff" on their last album? The lead singer.. if you can call him that... he's about as country as John Kerry... he's got that gelled up bleached hair... faggy lookin' shiney shirts... Seriously.. what is country here?

The list goes on... but i think I'd rather talk about the folks who are actually pretty good... that list comes later.

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