Thursday, January 25, 2007

The Lamest Show on Earth

Just got back from the circus.

If you're planning on seeing Barnum's Circus this year... save your money.

My son and I left at intermission.

It was complete crap. It was a poor imitations of an old Opryland production.

There was one elephant in the whole first half of the show... and all it did was sit on a stool while some clowns had a food fight.

There was no trapeze.
There was no tight rope walker
There was no sword swallower
There was no fire eater
There were no tigers
There were no lions
There were no bears
There was no man shot from a canon
There was no death defying anyting
There was a bunch of singing and dancing.
There was a lady who trained domestic birds and cats. WOO!

There were some piss poor acrobats.. the kind that you see at halftime of midmajor college basketball games.

There were some horses that trotted around in a figure-8. WOO!

Lame Lame Lame Lame

My only explaination is that the Circus has gone PC and nothing dangerous or offensive to PETA can go on.

Well.. it may have go on.. but it didn't go on in the first 90 minutes... and my 4-year-old wasn't keen on sticking around for the rest. Frankly I wasn't either.

Its like they tried to turn it into a broadway play... they tried to tell a story.... the idea being that a family from the audiance is picked out and "transformed" into circus performers... The dad becomes the Ring Master... and runs his mouth excessively the entire show... the mom suposedly became a trapeze artist... but we aren't really sure because she never really shows up in the first half of the show at all... The teenaged daughter becomes a brat of a dancer... and the little boy... around 10 I reckon.. can't decide what he wants to be... so the whole show is him trying to decide what he wants to be in the circus.

Its every bit as lame as it sounds.

There was not one single HOLY CRAP moment in the whole first 90 minutes.

I remember the B&B circus being pure sensory overload... amazing things... impossible things... going on all over the place at the same time. I remember butteryflies in my gut while some guy did something that I hoped wouldn't kill him.

I do NOT remember singing and dancing.

I do not remember piss poor acting. I don't remember any acting at all for that matter.

What the hell has happened to the world? Isn't anything worth a damn anymore?

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