Sunday, February 13, 2005

Dumb Hoosier News

Wow... The Darwin Awards are gonna be tight this year.

See JAC and I have a longterm debate... which is largely stalemated... about which state is populated with stupidist people. We agree on the Top 2 of course... that's easy... but deciding between Ohio and Indiana in such context has left us vexxed. JAC is confident that Buckeyes are the dumbest people walking the earth... While I've never met a hoosier who could consistently tie his own shoes without somehow choking himself.

I'm hoping this will push things over the edge.

One should also remember... this is the same state that decided it wanted its capital on a waterway... so it founded Indianapolis on the White River... and only realized later... that the River was not suitable for boat traffic.

Now seriously? Does it take a genius to figure out how deep a river is? Is there some mystical gift that God denied hoosiers, leaving them unable to determine suitable rivers?

And does that same malady somehow effect their ability to evaluate body armor?

I submit that they are afflicted by just such a malady... one for which we in the South, have a word.

We call it....


*** UPDATE ***

Three surgeons are standin' around jawin'... The first says, "I'm the greatest surgeon in the world. I reattached a man's severed legs... He recovered... and set the world record in the 100 meter sprint."

"That ain't nuthin' ", says the second. "I once operated on a fella who lost all his fingers in a freak badmitten accident... I reattached them.. and now... he plays piano for 10 grand a night."

The third just shook his head...

"You boys are outclassed. This one time... I was drivin' down the interstate... and I came upon a horrific crash... there was fire everywhere... Boys... all I found left was an rectum and a red sweater...

I sewed 'em together... and it coached basketball at Indiana for 20 years."

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