Tuesday, December 13, 2005

A Long Cold Walk

I was makin' a beer run lastnight... I reckon it was about 9:15 or so... and man... it was cold y'all. The mirror in the truck said it was like 14 degrees outside, and the wind was howlin'. Factor in the the wind chill and its was colder than a witch's titty... face down in the snow... wearin' an iron bra.


Anyway.. I made my way into our favorite non-union grocery store... and as I went from isle to isle pickin' up this and thats, I found myself frequently following this little family. Average looking dad... young though... probly mid-20s... beautiful little blonde haired girl in the cart. Curly long hair.. happy.. cute as she could be. She was smilin' at me...

Then there was the mom... or.... the woman that was with them.. I assume the mom... I don't know for sure. She was fat. She was ugly. She was a royal bitch. Everything the dad said, she disputed. Everything he picked up was wrong. She berated him continually... I mean the whole time... in the most hateful voice you can imagine. Civilized people don't talk this badly to unwelcomed dogs.

The dad was simply unphazed. He acted like he didn't even hear her talking that way.

I was so discusted I was hoping he'd actually grow a back bone... but then she pushed it to far. She got onto the little girl.. in that same evil tone...

***SNATCH*** Dad grabs the lard-ass up by the back of her neck.

"You will never speak to my daughter that way. Do you understand? It is a cold cold night. You don't want to walk home. You hear?"

First her eyes got as big as saucers... then she looked pissed... and went right back to berating him... and he went right back to ignoring her. He apparently didn't care. He said his piece. She either listened or she didn't.

Apparently she didn't.

I had paid for my stuff and made my way out to the big truck. I was about to climb in when I see these same folks loadin' up their little car. Dad puts the little girl in her car seat in the back... gives her a kiss and goes up to turn on the car to get it warmed up. The "mom" is putting groceries in the back.. still running her mouth. Still being ignored.

Then I hear here start ye'll into the back seat. I distinctly hear her call the little girl "bitch".

Dad is around the car in an instant... and while I've always found violence against women to be revolting.... I suddenly find myself hoping that he slaps the shit out of this cow.

He doesn't. He does something far better.

He pushes her away from the car... I mean a good shove. She doesn't fall down, but she takes about 5 steps back. Again... Eyes like saucers... scared like a piggy in the slaughter house. Then dad simply walks around to the drivers side, climbs in, and drives off. And there stands the fat angry cow... shivering cold... without even a coat... stunned. Totally stunned.

I found myself pointing, and laughing my ass off at this chick... who was so mad she was crying. She looked over and saw me and shouted, "Just who the F*** are you??"

I laughed and said, "I'm the dude with a warm ride home. Enjoy your walk. Maybe next time you'll listen to the man."

She dropped into negro dialect on me... F this and F that... I have no idea what she was sayin'. I can never understand white women when they try to talk black.

I laughed all the way home. Imagining what her side of the story is gonna sound like when she's blubbering to her girlfriends.

DrWho and I decided the chick was just going after the fella's daughter because that was the button she knew she could push. She had made up her mind she was gonna get a reaction, and she knew how to do it. I tend to think there was some jealousy there too.

Anyway... It all worked out well for her. Don't ya think?

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