Slackers...

Who knows how man thousands of New Yorkers... all gathered out in the open... Not an airliner to be found.

Am I the only one who really doesn't give a rat's ass about a ball dropping in New York City? Was it necessary for every station to be there? What's wrong with DC? Or Miami? Or Atlanta?

It all just adds to the perception that New York City is the only thing that matters in America. As I was watching that ball drop I just kept thinking... wow... what a target of opertunity. Think of the panic.... the stampede.... the slaughter that just 1 or 2 explosions would've caused.

I swear... ragheads never get anything right.

New Years

What a bizarre year it's been. This time last year... little Eli was still cookin'. Now he's crawlin' around and tryin' to climb the stairs. Julie's mom and I weren't even on speaking terms... Now we're gettin' on pretty well. Joy had just made it back from Colombia... I didn't have any idea where we were moving to...

Well ok... so not everything has changed that much.

Ya know... we're actually boxing up things... packing. I talked to a mover to get a quote... and it wasn't until about 20 minutes into the conversation that it dawned on me that I had no idea where to tell her we're moving.

We've got to buy a house... a nicer house than we've ever had before... but we don't know where to shop for one.

I guess that really sums up 2005 for us... in spite of everything that's happened... Eli's arrival... dear friends married off... dear friends breeding yet again... family trials... family triumphs... it's been a year dominated by this huge question... this yet-unsolved mystery. It colors everything. Sometimes in the fore... always in the background.

But...

It's 8:37 on New Year's Eve. All of the questions of 2005 shall be answered in 2006. Indeed... everything Julie and I have fought for... since... God... since forever... it all pays off in 2006.

I hope you are all havin' a ball tonight. Tossing back some champagne with friends and loved ones. Spacebunny... did that raisin trick work? And I do mean all of you... Even you Waterboy... ya yankee bastard. And Jamie.... I know its been 2006 for 8 hours down there.. but raise on anyway mate... it's a good excuse right? I hope you've all enjoyed the blog as much as I've enjoyed having you here. So often bloggers write about how they don't care if they have readers or not. I do. I love havin' y'all around, and honestly, if ya weren't here I wouldn't do it. Thanks for bein' here y'all. I appreciate every damned one of you.

So... this one last night in 2005 I spend here in Morgantown... Not alone... but certainly by myself. One corona for now... one for midnight. The boys are tucked away.... Julie is pulling another 24-hour shift...

But if by chance she should get to read this tonight...

Darlin'... Here's to you kid... and here's to 2006...

The first year of the rest of our lives.

ATF

Life is good. I've got a mild buzz... fresh from a nice glass of 1792... Hey... 10oz. of 100 proof bourbon on a mostly empty stomach will do that for ya! I'm currently clearin' the pallet with a favorite snack... some fine cheddar dipped in spicy mustard.

2 questions about that... What company produces "Hellagood" products... and why are they so damned good? and.. Why is it that Kroger's spicey mustard is so much better than everyone elses?

But I digress.

It's a fine day. Our boy Will has come to his senses and decided to disavow himself of that plastic sissy pistol. He lit up the 10-ring with a Kimber lastnight and has vowed to purchase a 1911. One can only hope he has the good sense to go buy a Springfield. I mean come on... if he liked the Kimber that much... imagine what he'll think when he shoots a real 1911.

I talked to him on the phone lastnight actually... on his way back from the range... and he asked a good question.

Why Springfield?

I didn't give the best answer lastnight... but after some thought... it really boils down to 2 reasons.

1) Accuracy. Gun after gun. Back to back to back to back... with several loads from several different manufactures... the average groups of the Springfields will always be the smallest. Smaller than Kimber. Smaller than Para. Smaller than Colt. The initial test of the Taurus are impressive, but I am skeptical. I wanna see it go head to head with the Springfield before I'll really buy into the hype.

2) Waranty. Until Taurus showed up, no other manufacturer offered a guarantee that was even close to Springfield's. Their customer service has an excellent record. This is less important to some people, but to me... this means a lot. That's why Taurus and Springfield are so high on my list. Both have been known to throw in free work when they have a weapon sent back... just to make sure you're completely happy.

But enough...

On to the Booze!

Mutly tried some Makers Mark! He was impressed. Another scotch drinker broadening his horizons. It's a great day. But Mutly... dear man... if you liked that... and I know you did... oh sir... you have so much to explore. Wait until you try Bookers... 126 proof smooth sweet heat. Or Woodford's Reserve... or perhaps God's Own Whiskey.... Wild Turkey Rare Breed. Any of you interested in bourbon history or general facts.. do a site specific search of the bloggerblaster for the word "bourbon" and I'm sure you'll learn all you need to know.

Oh... and Jamie... you around? or are ya hiding under your bed again? Drink up you pussy. No beer either. Find something 80 proof or up. You sissy-mary.

Ok kids... Belly up to the bar! What'll it be?

Californians are Pussies



I don't know how else to say it. But when a pack of chihuahuas sends a cop to the hospital... you know you're either in California or France. Since the fella was only in the hospital for a couple hours... must be California.

How embarassing.

Your Birthdate:

You are a natural born leader, even if those leadership talents haven't been developed yet. You have the power and self confidence to succeed in life, and your power grows daily. Besides power, you also have a great deal of creativity that enables you to innovate instead of fail. You are a visionary, seeing the big picture instead of all of the trivial little details. Your strength: Your supreme genius Your weakness: Your inappropriate sensitivity Your power color: Gold Your power symbol: Star Your power month: January

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

What Can I say? I'm the man.

Anyone Else Drinkin' Tonight?

Will? Jamie? How bout it boys? I know it's not friday here in the states... but to hell with it. I'm sippin' some 1792 and feelin' pretty good about life.

Blondage? Kristy? Spacebunny?

Anyone care to join me?

Factoid That May Disturb Only Me

The round-eye brunette in Big Trouble in Little China is played by one of the chicks from Sex in the City.

***BOGGLE***

Dream Trip

I don't know if I'll ever be able to work this out... but I have a dream...

I want to get some buddies... and ride the Alaskan Highway... all the way to Fairbanks... up the Dalton Highway... past the Gates of the Arctic... way up to the Arctic Circle.

Longitude 66 degrees 33 minutes.

It's 4005 miles from Murfreesboro, which is our standard start point, to Fairbanks... then another few hundred up the gravel Dalton Highway.

The alternative is to jump off the Alaskan Highway at the Yukon Highway, and take it to the Demptster Highway... which is another gravel road. We could take it all the way to Inuvik.

I tend to lean toward Dalton in Alaska. Needless to say... this would be an insane trip. First of all we'd need bikes that were capable of such a thing. These bikes aren't really hard to find. They are generally recognizable by the "BMW" on the tank... and they tend to look something like this:

Is it pretty? No. But it is a tank. It's built for anything. I know stories of men that have ridden these bikes up the Dempster Highway to the Arctic Circle, then all the way down through Central and South America... all on the same trip.

Obviously we'd be going in July... I'm psycho... but not that psycho. I shudder to think how long this trip would take... Right now.. I'm guessing around 2 full weeks... and could take a month. The trip to Fairbanks alone will take at least 4 days... and will probably take 6. Assuming we take our time... and rolling up a gravel road to the Arctic Circle... I suspect we will be taking our time... I figure another 4 days actually up there. Pretty soon you see why I say we will need 3 weeks or more.

Think of the provisions we'll need to take... man... JAC already has a .454 casull.. I'll need to pick up one of my own... plus I'll take a couple other side arms... my .357 tracker... the .40... maybe a couple lighter weapons too. Probably at least 1 carbine.

Oh those Canadian border boys will love us.

I guess part of this is the challenge. Fact is I love to ride... and I love to explore... and this is the ultimate way to do both.

Who wants to come along?

SitRep:

39.629N
-79.956W

17:43

54F

Call of Duty 2 rules.

10-7

And Now For Something Completely Different...

This obviously didn't happen. After all... Guns are illegal in Austrailia. Right mate?

And of course we'll be told how this sort of thing is so rare... yet strangely... I am always able to find something to post when I get a hankering to point out what commie's they are down under.

Commonwealth.... Marx would love that name. No doubt he used the term himself... in some impressive run-out sentence in this manifesto or that...

Bah.

Military Truisms and Sayings

Hey.. I'm kinda in a groove today... or perhaps a rut.



"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit."- Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.

"Aim towards the Enemy."- Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher

"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.- U.S. Marine Corps

"Cluster bombing from B-52s are very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground."- USAF Ammo Troop

"If the enemy is in range, so are you."- Infantry Journal

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed."- U.S. Air Force Manual

"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons."- General Macarthur

"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo."- Infantry Journal

"You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me."- U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.

"Tracers work both ways."- U.S. Army Ordnance

"Five second fuses only last three seconds."- Infantry Journal

"Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything."- U.S. Navy Swabbie

"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."- David Hackworth

"If your attack is going too well, your walking into an ambush."- Infantry Journal

"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection."- Joe Gay

"Any ship can be a minesweeper ... once."- Anonymous

"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do."- Unknown Marine Recruit

"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you."- Your Buddies

"If you see a bomb technician running, follow him."- USAF Ammo Troop

"Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death ... I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."- At the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base Kadena, Japan (I included this twice. I like this.)

"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3."- Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)

"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."

"Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky."
- From an old carrier sailor

"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe."

I'm particularly fond of anything that cuts on helicopters... as they are as prone to uselessness as Ted Kennedy... and about as dangerous.

Bad Joke Wednesday: The Pun Edition

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well, It's Not Unusual."

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!".

16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

How about some some fun facts?

1. Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton.
2. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper.
3. The dot over the letter i is called a "tittle"
4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.
5. Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller.
6. 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.
7. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.(See? Yankee moron)
8. The 'spot' on 7UP comes from its inventor, who had red eyes. He was albino.
9. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents, daily.
10. Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.
11. Chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system; a few ounces will kill a small sized dog.
12. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark's stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.
13. Most lipstick contains fish scales (mmm tasty).
14. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.
15. Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine.
16. Upper and lower case letters are named 'upper' and 'lower' because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the 'upper case' letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the smaller, 'lower case' letters.
17. Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time ... hence, multi-tasking was invented.
18. At the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base in Kadena, Japan these words are inscribed: "Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death ... I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."

And... just to top off the most awesomest Bad Joke Wednesday Ever... I offer: The Difference Between Potentially... and Realistically:

"When a young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?"The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars." "Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that."

So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!" The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?!?!?! " The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?"

The boy pondered the answers for a few days, then went back to his dad.His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?"The boy replied, "Yes... Potentially, you and I are sitting on Three Million Dollars..............but Realistically...


we're living with two Sluts and a Queer.

Media Bias?

I offer for your amusement two of the most asinine quotes of the year. Both of course involve Brian Williams. Enjoy:

Andrea Mitchell: "It is an iconic picture: American hostages, hands bound and blindfolded, being paraded outside the U.S. embassy in Tehran by their captors. But has one of those student radicals now become Iran’s newly elected President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad?...Tonight, U.S. intelligence officials say that they will continue to study this, but may never have definitive proof of what the role was of Iran’s new president, Brian."
Brian Williams: "Andrea, what would it all matter if proven true? Someone brought up today the first several U.S. Presidents were certainly revolutionaries and might have been called terrorists at the time by the British Crown, after all."
Mitchell: "Indeed, Brian."— NBC Nightly News, June 30.

Brian Williams: "You just told me the story about one photograph from the war that always kind of catches you, the Japanese soldier returning to his city that’s been destroyed. Do you have remorse for what happened? How do you deal with that in your mind?"
Enola Gay navigator "Dutch" Van Kirk: "No, I do not have remorse! I pity the people who were there. I always think of it, Brian, as being, the dropping of the atom bomb was an act of war to end a war."
— Exchange as the two stood next to the plane at the Smithsonian’s new National Air and Space annex near Dulles airport, in a segment on the 60th anniversary of the dropping of the first atomic bomb on Hiroshima, Japan, NBC Nightly News, August 5.

I for one cannot imagine sitting in my living room and not throwing something at the tv. I swear... if it were not such an abysmal place I would consider driving to New York to set Brian Williams on fire. But then... The man lives in New York. Punishment enough.

The Coolest Ever...

Characters define movies... and often... guns define characters. Dirty Harry's .44mag... Agent Smith's Desert Eagle... Laura Croft's HK's... Bond's PPK.

But none stand out like these...



Caster Troy's 1911's. Look at them. The only golden guns I've ever seen that don't look negro. Without question... these are the most awesome weapons I've ever seen in any film...

I triple dog dare you to disagree.

But who made them? One off customs weren't they?

HA! No. No they were not. These my friends... are Springfield Armory Custom Distinguished Limited (PC9404) 1911's.

Springfield boys. Springfield.

Anesthesia Antics

It's a little known fact that I actually talked my wife into going into anesthesia. That's not to say that I am more interested in it than she is... far from it. She loves her job. It's just that I am also very interested in it. These people stop and start hearts regularly... on purpose... and while in the pantheon of modern medicine that is relatively mundane.. for me... it's never really lost its cool factor.

The history of anesthesia is also something that we really enjoy. Honestly these are strange birds... and their ways never cease to amuse... Plus there is glorius contraversy. For example... The matter of the first anesthesia ever performed isn't even agreed on. Some textbooks claim a yankee was the first because he was the first to document his practice... while of course... the doing is far more important than the documenting... so other textbooks point to a God Fearing Southron who used ether decades earlier.

In this vein I offer you a taste of medical history... The account of the first experiments with spinal anesthesia... using cocaine... in 1890.

"Bier and Hildebrandt gave each other spinal anesthesia through injections of cocaine solution into the lower (lumbar) areas of their backs; the aim was to block the nerves in the lower part of the body. They took careful notes of the experience. The initial thrust of the needle caused no pain beyond the usual jab and a short, mild stabbing sensation in one leg. Bier felt a mild tugging sensation when Hildebrandt began the injection. But Hildebrandt was nervous, and much of the solution trickled down Bier’s back. They waited ten minutes before Hildebrandt pricked Bier’s thigh with a pin. It hurt: not enough cocaine had penetrated the spine.

When the more experienced Bier injected the solution into Hildebrandt’s back just a few drops escaped. Within seven minutes Hildebrandt could feel pinpricks only as pressure; tickling of the sole of the foot hardly bothered him. A minute later Bier drew a large curved needle through the skin of Hildebrandt’s thigh. Again his assistant sensed no pain. Two minutes later Bier thrust a needle into Hildebrandt’s thigh bone; he felt nothing. Bier squeezed Hildebrandt’s skin between the teeth of a hooked forceps. Hildebrandt perceived the pinching only as pressure.

Thirteen minutes after the spinal injection, Bier put the lighted end of his cigar on Hildebrandt’s legs. The burn caused no pain. Hard hammer blows against his shins were painless. On and on, Bier battered Hildebrandt. Pulling out pubic hair felt like lifting a skin fold, whereas plucking hairs from the chest was painful. Strong pressure and tugging on Hildebrandt’s testicles produced no sensation.

It took forty-five minutes for the effect of the drug to wear off and normal sensitivity to return.
The two doctors dined together that evening, drinking wine and smoking several cigars. They went to bed about eleven o’clock. Bier, whose body had absorbed almost no cocaine, slept soundly and awoke refreshed. When he finished his customary morning stroll, he found he had a slight headache.

At the clinic he found Hildebrandt looking wan; he had not slept and was able to stand only with great effort. Later that morning Hildebrandt had a severe headache, which may have been due to a hangover or to the spinal injection, followed by an attack of vomiting. By mid-afternoon he was forced to go to bed. Although still suffering from a headache, he returned to work the next day." (Altman)

Obviously I added the emphasis.

Tugging. On. The. Testicles.

Oh my.

ATF!

Yes... I know its a little early... but this way we can at least attempt to keep up with Jamie. So let's get this rollin' boys.

Let us begin where we always begin... ATF is all about the booze. Tonight? Come on... It's Christmas Eve Eve. That means hot buttered rum.... or bourbon... either way! More likely both.. and in fact... there's liable to be some champagne involved. After all we now are down to double-digit days until we move back to God's Country. Indeed we have much to celebrate. bourbon wise I'm in a bit of a rut these days... It's pretty much 1792 and Bookers. Well... what can I say? It's not a bad rut... in fact... a rut like this is really better described as a groove.

And speakin' of groove... what are y'all playin' these days? I myself have been playin' a lot of Van Sant, along with my standard Cross Canadian Ragweed and Jason Boland... Charlie Robinson of course... the obligatory Kris Kristofferson and 5 Dollar Fine for Whining. When I'm drummin though its all Rush... Creed... GnR and even some Nickleback... I'm ashamed to admit that I've developed a fetish for playing set along with stuff like Bach's Little Fugue and Drum Corp. If I can ever work out the midi stuff I'll record some of it and post it here.. Jamie will crack up.

Crackin' up? Who'm I kiddin'.... there's no way to segway from that to guns.. but guns is up... I've now read two reviews that claim the new Taurus 1911 will shoot 2 inch groups at 50 yards... and one claimed that it averaged 2.25 inch groups at 50 yards through 6 kinds of ammo. That's impressive boys. It's more impressive when you figure that you can pick one of these up for under 500 bucks. I should re-word that.... it's not impressive. It's insane. Taurus claims "you get what you pay for" is out-dated thinking. Think of bottled water they says. 500 bucks is just what a smart manufacturer should make a 1911 for. Consider that the gun is made top-to-bottom in-house... in what amounts to a factory custom shop environment, and you see how they saved money... also consider that there are no "stock 1911" parts in this gun. Everything is made by Taurus on site. To my knowledge no one else but Springfield does that.

What are my two favorite pistol manufacturers again? Now if we can just get Savage to bring back the 99 I'll be in hog heaven.

Ok y'all... I gots some friends comin' over to drink with.. We're gonna heat up some steaks on the grill... I say "heat up" because the word cook implies a level of doness that these shall never reach. Good times y'all. Good times.

So standard posting rules apply... What ya drinkin'? What ya smokin? Who ya drinkin' and smokin' with, and what're ya carryin?

Oh yeah.. and just for fun... before I go... how about a teaser for the new Harem?



Huge points to anyone who guesses who these little cuties are... and even more points to anyone who guesses which one of them also came through with far more.... revealing shots.

Boys... It's hard damned work bein' this damned good.

Fun With a Grease Fire

It's amazing how fast things can go to shit for a stay-at-home dad. Seriously. You throw two hotdogs on the grill... then you take the baby off to change his diaper... then the 3-year old has to go potty... then you get caught up watching the lastest sportcenter segment on some coach's kid offing himself...

The next thing you know.. that three-year old is pulling on your hand saying, "Daddy! Daddy! Get Jeb's stool! Jeb up! Jeb watch fire!"

Huh? What fire? FIRE!

So of course ya run in to the kitchen and blow on the fire a few times while you determine if it's bad enough to warrant getting out the extinguisher... luckily it's not that bad and it goes out pretty easily.

I say it wasn't that bad... check the results.


I'd say it got a little hot... wouldn't you?



As you can see the steel bars of the grill actually melted complete through in several places. Oddly, the hotdogs weren't nearly as maimed as you would've expected. I really don't understand it. I've cooked big thick steaks longer than this... and had several grease fires that were far worse... but nothing ever did this kind of damage.

Ah well.. no harm no foul. The smoke detectors didn't even go off... though I confess at this point I'm going to change the batteries to be sure. The boys loved it... I guess that's what matters.

T Minus 100 Days

What? You thought I wasn't keeping a running count? In a mere 100 days we shall be freed from this God forsaken yankee infested Hell. We shall return to the sweet green lands of the South, where will live like decent God fearing folk,. Where we shall grow old, and one day tell our grand-children nitemarish tales of our experiences in the woeful lands of the yankee.

The trouble is... we still don't know exactly where in the South we'll be living... At this point its been narrowed down to Georgia... way north of Atlanta... or way south of Atlanta... then there are a few places in middle Tennessee that are interested as well. It's changed so much that honestly I feel like I'm better off just not talking about it. I'm pretty sure my family feels like they're gettin' jerked around like a yo-yo. At least 3 or 4 times we've been pretty certain sure we new where we were goin'... and so far something has come up that totally changed our plans. For a good 2-weeks we knew we were goin' to this little town west of Nashville... then when the contract arrived it looked nothing like what we'd agreed to, and contained more than a few seriously questionable and highly irregular clauses. No thanks.

Ah... but today is not a day to fret. No no... today is a day of joy... for the today we see clearly our golden parole.

But 100 days... but 100 days... but 100 days...

to freedom.

BJW!

Before we get started... I will share a cautionary tale on walkie-talkie cell phones. Now.. if you don't have one of these things you probably think it's a useless feature. You think you hit a button and a beep goes off... and then the person has to answer.

This is not true. They really do work like walkie-talkies. There is no answering.

For those of us with devious minds... this can be a highly amusing feature. Be advised... the names and setting in the following tale have all been changed to protect the guilty and incriminate the innocent and otherwise uninvolved...

Begin.

It should be noted that JAC works in a very large manufacturing facility where he is a mechanic. These are rough and ready types with thick skin... and the fact is... they love takin' shots at each other. Providing these mechanics walkie-talkie cell phones is just begging for trouble. Like that day...

JAC found himself in the john... droppin' off a rather healthy crap. I'm sure you can imagine... there he his... squattin there... trying to relax... pants around his ankles... and his phone starts talking.

"OOOHHH! YEAH!! HMMMMFF!! Yeah... Yeah.. OHH MY GAWD It's so deep... so DEEEP... OHH! OHHHH!"

Apparently the bathroom was full as it could be... as laughter was heard for miles... I mean everyone at that whole plant must've decided to take a crap at the same time.

"Damn JAC! Who you got in there?"

There's poor JAC scramblin' to get to his pants... but you know ya just can't reach down there... you can only pinch one off so fast without strainin' somthing.. in the mean time..

"OH! Oh I love it! I love the cock! YEAAHHH!!"

By the time JAC got his ummm.. ahem.. shit together.. composed himself and exited the bathroom a crowd had gathered outside.. probably 15 guys out there hootin' and hollerin'.... clappin and cheerin'.


I sincerely hope that story inspires someone here to abuse some poor unsuspecting soul in a similar fashion. Consider it a public service announcement. On with the jokes!

- What's white, lumpy, and extremely dangerous?
Shark infested mashed potatoes.

- What do you get when you cross a lawyer with the Godfather?
An offer you can't understand.

- An astronomer looks at the sky through a telescope, searching for something. After a while he stands up, looks to the heavens, and yells, "You cannot be Sirius!"

-Hailstorm
A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun.He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?"The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.The roommate rolled her eyes and said,

"Duh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first."

- Sheldon Cohen

A man walks to 5th Ave. & 42nd St. in New York City during a downpour and somehow manages to get a taxi immediately. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Sheldon." "Who?" "Sheldon Cohen. There's a guy who did everything right. Like my cab being vacant during a rainstorm. It would have happened like that for Sheldon every single time." "Well, no one is perfect. There are always a few clouds over everybody", stated the passenger. "Not Sheldon," said the cabbie. "He was a terrific athlete. He could have gone on the pro tour in tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star. Handsome and sophisticated, more than Cary Grant. He had a better body than Arnold in his prime. He was something!"Somehow Sheldon just knew exactly how to make women happy," the cabbie continued. "He had a memory like a computer. Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which fork to eat with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole neighbourhood blacks out." "Wow, incredible , no wonder you remember him!" said the passenger."Well, I never actually met Sheldon," admitted the cabbie."Then how do you know so much about him?" asked the passenger.

"After he died, I married his wife."

A Christmas Carol


Smashing through the snow,
in a brand new blue Hum-Vee.
Smashing through the drifts.
Shouting out Yipee!

Right up the powerline,
we're goin' 45,
through 2-feet of snow,
and we're still in over-drive!


Ok... ok... sorry... I won't abuse you with any more of that... But hopefully you get the picture. Ol' Nate had some fun lastnight. Sure... it was 10pm and 5 degrees... but hell... what better time to take out the new H1. That's H1... not that soccer mom van H-2 thing... sure it looks cool.. but it don't roll like this bad boy. Don't hyper-ventilate boys... its not mine. Curt picked one up... for his wife.

We headed up to Coopers Rock State Forest last night and commenced to raisin' 7 kinds of hell. There are these old cow-path fire roads that run all through it.. and we just blasting down them. Sure... the word is there are more capable off-road vehicles... but I've now gone up a 60 degree incline in 2 feet of snow. Have you?

The thing is a tank. Seriously. You just don't even worry about hitting these huge ruts... these 3-foot piles of dirt, rock, and snow... you just hit them and go on. We weren't even slowing down.

The off-road driving I have done is crawling. Ya put the truck in 4-low-lock and take your foot off the gas. The truck rolls on and nothing in the world will stop it. That's been the total of my playing off road.

With this thing? It's totally different. You just go. We only locked the differential for one particularly insane stretch that had large ominous warning signs all around... even still... the Hum-Vee ate it all up and begged for more.

I feel like I've been bull-riding. Hey... when ya get a 7000 pound truck airborn... the impact tends to be a little rough... and we did it more than once.

So what do I think of the Hum-Vee?

We spent the better part of 3 hours destroying terrain that can best be described as unfit for motorized travel. She didn't flinch. She just stomped, pounded, and blasted her way through it all.

It's a tank with 4 tires. As huge as it is... we were rolling down these little cuts with no problem... largely because the beast's turning radius is a tight tight 26 feet. Unbelievable.

Spacebunny Loves Me

Seriously. Look at the cool little hat she knitted for Eli.















Now... Do any of you have official Spacebunny produced... umm... Products? I thought not. Sure... you think because she hangs out at your blogs that she loves ya... but ask yourself... Has she done anything to keep your baby warm? And I should point out.... this is just one of the two hats she made for little Eli.

Little Eli... Those two words just don't go together... look at the boy... He's wearin' 12 month clothes.. and he's just 9 months.. 96th percentile in weight and hieght.

We call him Hoss.

Man.. he's into everything he's big enough for.. and then some. He's crawlin' a hundred miles an hour... he's trying to talk... more like yellin' though.. "DA DA DA DA DA DA DA!"

So much fun.

Y'all should have one.

The Harem Returns

Merry Christmas! After many requests... we at the Bloggerblaster have decided to revive the Harem. Ladies... those of you who read here are humbly requested to submit a pic, and gain honourary membership into the Harem. The pictures from the previous harem are lost... so those of you who sent them in, please send more.

Spacebunny... if you would be so kind.. something in a baseball hat... and maybe that blue bikini Vox keeps refering to? Ah well.. a man can hope... Jeanne... Throw on some socks and a Cowboys Jersey darlin'... grown men will gawk... what could be better?

How about the newly enhanced Kristy? oh yes.. she will be there... DJ... and maybe some new faces? Or at least parts? How about it Blondage? LL? We let v-twin girls in the harem too... though we confess.. we perfer our v-twins in bikes with "Aprilia" on the tank.

As always.. naughty or otherwise indecent pics will be appreciated and jealously guarded... but never posted. Well.. one might be posted... but only because she's smokin' hot and I don't know who she is... so I can't be busted for outing her... right? Hey... I'm not the first blogger to get a naked self-pic from an anonymous hot female fan right?

DrWho will of course be gracing the new Harem as well... oooo.. maybe I can get her to pose in my new Titans jersey.... excellent!

Email away ladies.

Treason

Go... and read the President's own words:

"This authorization is a vital tool in our war against the terrorists. It is critical to saving American lives. The American people expect me to do everything in my power, under our laws and Constitution, to protect them and their civil liberties and that is exactly what I will continue to do as long as I am president of the United States," Bush said.

Angry members of Congress have demanded an explanation of the program, first revealed in Friday's New York Times and whether the monitoring by the National Security Agency violates civil liberties.

Defending the program, Bush said in his address that it is used only to intercept the international communications of people inside the United States who have been determined to have "a clear link" to al- Qaida or related terrorist organizations.

Ah... I see... and then.. why couldn't they get a search warrant? Isn't this exactly what the secret courts setup by the Partriot Act are for?

Republicans rant that Democrats will defend anything a Democrat leader does... just because it's a Democrat. Yet... here we have a blantant admission of rampant disregard for the law... but will Republicans condemn their own? No. They'll blame the Times. They'll talk about leaks. They'll talk about everything besides the fact that their president sees himself as all powerful. The man is insane. He doesn't care one wit about the constitution or anything else. He is blinded by power.

Damn him. Damn his supporters. Damn the Republicans. Damn the Democrats. Damn the Consititution Party and its bootlicking... Damn the Libertarians for their assinine wild-eyed pursuit of hedonism.

The government is out of control.

In the distance... some ways off still... is Go Time.

Bush just stomped on the accelerator. I suspect Hillary will actually be in power when we finally get there.

Say... Remember Burrito?

Our biologist buddy who stopped by to complain about my fondness for nuclear weapons and set us all straight on the glory of stem cell research?

Think this was one of those exciting things coming out of asia he was talking about?

Oops.

I guess Geologists aren't the only frauds out there eh?

Geology is Not a Science

Taken from the website of the University of Washington's Geology department:

Uniformitarianism: The principle that applies to geology our assumption that the laws of nature are constant. As originally used it meant that the processes operating to change the Earth in the present also operated in the past and at the same rate and intensity and produced changes similar to those we see today. The meaning has evolved and today the principle of uniformitarianism acknowledges that past processes, even if the same as today, may have operated at different rates and with different intensities than those of the present. The term "actualism" is sometimes used to designate this later meaning.

Taken from PhysicalGeology.net:

Uniformitarianism:Is a theory that rejects the idea that catastrophic forces were responsible for the current conditions on the Earth. The theory suggested instead, that continuing uniformity of existing processes were responsible for the present and past conditions of this planet.

Taken from Wikipedia.com:

Within scientific philosophy, uniformitarianism ("with a small u") refers to the principle that the same processes that shape the universe occurred in the past as they do now, and that the same laws of physics obtain in all parts of the knowable universe. This axiomatic principle, not often referred to as an "-ism" in modern discussions, is particularly relevant to geology and other sciences on a long timescale such as astronomy and paleontology.

So... It's a principle... its axiomatic... it's a theory... It's also the bloody sand the whole pathetic stack of cards is built on.

Science is method. Its a huge gargantuan machine that defies assumption. The scientific method is overkill in almost every daily situation... but it will find you the right answer... It will probably just take a long long time.

All of geology is based on this one assumption. And rememember... that's their word... not mine. Scientists do not assume. Scientists test. Scientist observe. Scientists record.

A man looks around at a stream and says... this stream is eroding away soil at a rate of 1 inch per year... therefore.. since the canyon the stream is in is 2 miles deep.. the stream has been here... digging away for seveal million years. This man is not a scientist. He's no differnt than a palm reader. He's making an observation.. then an assumption... then compounding it all with a wild guess.

That my friends is Geology. But lets take it a step further. PhysicalGeology.net calls Uniformitarianism a "theory". Ah.. well then.. let's look at their definition of the word:

Theory: Proposed explanation for the causal mechanisms responsible for a phenomenon or a set of facts.

In otherwords... it's a wild ass guess.

Guessing is the basis for Hypothesis. It is not the basis for an entire science. Science is based on law. It's based on what is known. It is not based on what someone thinks sounds reasonable.

Now... for anyone would seek to refute this.. please... stick to the points made. Perhaps start by naming another science that is based on assumption. I have made my case in pure scientific terms, so leave religion out of it.

A Long Cold Walk

I was makin' a beer run lastnight... I reckon it was about 9:15 or so... and man... it was cold y'all. The mirror in the truck said it was like 14 degrees outside, and the wind was howlin'. Factor in the the wind chill and its was colder than a witch's titty... face down in the snow... wearin' an iron bra.

Brrrrrrrrrr!

Anyway.. I made my way into our favorite non-union grocery store... and as I went from isle to isle pickin' up this and thats, I found myself frequently following this little family. Average looking dad... young though... probly mid-20s... beautiful little blonde haired girl in the cart. Curly long hair.. happy.. cute as she could be. She was smilin' at me...

Then there was the mom... or.... the woman that was with them.. I assume the mom... I don't know for sure. She was fat. She was ugly. She was a royal bitch. Everything the dad said, she disputed. Everything he picked up was wrong. She berated him continually... I mean the whole time... in the most hateful voice you can imagine. Civilized people don't talk this badly to unwelcomed dogs.

The dad was simply unphazed. He acted like he didn't even hear her talking that way.

I was so discusted I was hoping he'd actually grow a back bone... but then she pushed it to far. She got onto the little girl.. in that same evil tone...

***SNATCH*** Dad grabs the lard-ass up by the back of her neck.


"You will never speak to my daughter that way. Do you understand? It is a cold cold night. You don't want to walk home. You hear?"

First her eyes got as big as saucers... then she looked pissed... and went right back to berating him... and he went right back to ignoring her. He apparently didn't care. He said his piece. She either listened or she didn't.

Apparently she didn't.

I had paid for my stuff and made my way out to the big truck. I was about to climb in when I see these same folks loadin' up their little car. Dad puts the little girl in her car seat in the back... gives her a kiss and goes up to turn on the car to get it warmed up. The "mom" is putting groceries in the back.. still running her mouth. Still being ignored.

Then I hear here start ye'll into the back seat. I distinctly hear her call the little girl "bitch".

Dad is around the car in an instant... and while I've always found violence against women to be revolting.... I suddenly find myself hoping that he slaps the shit out of this cow.

He doesn't. He does something far better.

He pushes her away from the car... I mean a good shove. She doesn't fall down, but she takes about 5 steps back. Again... Eyes like saucers... scared like a piggy in the slaughter house. Then dad simply walks around to the drivers side, climbs in, and drives off. And there stands the fat angry cow... shivering cold... without even a coat... stunned. Totally stunned.

I found myself pointing, and laughing my ass off at this chick... who was so mad she was crying. She looked over and saw me and shouted, "Just who the F*** are you??"

I laughed and said, "I'm the dude with a warm ride home. Enjoy your walk. Maybe next time you'll listen to the man."

She dropped into negro dialect on me... F this and F that... I have no idea what she was sayin'. I can never understand white women when they try to talk black.

I laughed all the way home. Imagining what her side of the story is gonna sound like when she's blubbering to her girlfriends.

DrWho and I decided the chick was just going after the fella's daughter because that was the button she knew she could push. She had made up her mind she was gonna get a reaction, and she knew how to do it. I tend to think there was some jealousy there too.

Anyway... It all worked out well for her. Don't ya think?

Big Brother

How do you like your cell phone now?

Please pay attention to the bits where they point out that service providers know where your phone is at all times.

Sloth

My just called and told me she did an epidural this morning on a woman who was 4'11... and 480 pounds. For those keeping track.. that's a BMI of 96.9... and remember.... 30 is obese.

Oh shut up.

I don't want to hear about how inaccurate BMI is. It's not a tool for healthy people. Its a tool for unhealthy or average people. If you work out 3 times a week... you don't need BMI to tell you you're in good shape. It wasn't designed taking people with a great deal of muscle mass in mind. You'll never find a doctor out there discussing BMI with an athelete. It was designed to give doctors an objective way to measure "Obese" beyond simply saying... "Looks damned fat to me!"

Now....

4'11"... 480 pounds... Can you even imagine what that looked like? I don't even know how the bitch got pregnant. I mean... She had to be just a big ball of fat with shins and forearms sticking out. DrWho said she didn't even look human.

I know I know... I'm supposed to feel sorry for her. It's tragic.

Well I don't. I don't feel sorry for the aids infected queers that just happen to practice annonymous unprotected sex. I don't feel sorry for crackheads that OD. I don't feel sorry for drunks that drive off of bridges.

These people make me sick. It's just as much a sin as homosexuality... and it infects the church just as much. But when was the last time your preacher stood up and condemned obesity from the pulpit???

Probly never.

You feel sorry for them? Fine. Go sing Kum-Ba-Ya with 'em, and offer to help hold up their stomachs so they can at least attempt to reach their peckers while they piss. Me? I offer them nothing but contempt. Not even pity. If I ran an airline I'd make them by 3 seats (I wouldn't force a decent passenger to ride close to their stink), and I'd charge them extra by the pound over a certain weight.

If I owned I theater I'd make them by extra seats too.

Oh I know... I'm insensitive.... I'm mean.

Yeah? Maybe I just don't like the reaking stench of sweating pigs... slugging around... to damned lazy to wash the 300 fat folds they have up and down their bloated sides.

Hey! Ya Bovines... you're stinkin' up the place.

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!

Enough Teasing!

On with the bloody show! The boys are in the bed... it's time to drink dammit.

See that?

Its a stack of Killian's Red... lying on the floor like so many hollowed carcasses... empty shells sucked dry for my own pleasure and satisfaction.

AHHHH!

It's good to be the king.

So why is it that the seasons affect my tastes so? I really hate Killian's in the summer. I like Corona year round.. but I definately drink darker beers in the winter, and paler beers in the summer. Splain? I never drink light beer... ever. If you do... no.. i'm not gonna say it.... you fat bastard.

So its Killian's for me tonight... then on to the Bookers later to make sure I sleep very well indeed. How about you?

Say... is drinkin' alone really that good an indicator of alcoholism? If it is... can I use these posts and comments to pretend I'm not really drinkin' alone? Piss on it. I drink alone. I always have. I've only woken up in a teddy once... and I only pissed in my shoes that once too... so regardless of the fact that I vehemently declared that I was actually pissing in the "Network window"... each was an isolated event.. so I figure I'm ok.

Hey... it was like 5 years ago man.

Smokes... dammit I could use a smoke.... hold on...

***Sounds of construction... trees falling... wrecking balls... cows falling from the sky.... jack hammers... doors slamming. ***

Ah yes.. there it is. Patargas 1845. Smell that? Ahhh.. smooth as a prom queen's thighs... but not quite as risky.

I really have nothing grand to report tonight on the firearms front... other than my preliminary research on Magnum Research's rifle line. I'm stoked boys. Anyone who has ever shot one please speak up.

ok... that's that...

Standard rules apply.

Pre ATF

Well the boys are not yet asleep... Julie is off at the hospital pullin' an all-niter... and I'm just sitting here.. shaking my head at the trainwreck of comments in the post below.

Soccer? A soccer discussion on my blog?

Dark days for the Bloggerblaster indeed. One wonders if Jamie realizes that bragging about the success of his country's soccer team is viewed by Americans as quite similar to cheering on the Austrailian boys at the Homosexual Olympics. By the way... I understand the French do very well at the Queener Olympics... and umm... How many World Cups have they won? And you think that's a coincidence?

Look... seriously... Vox has a blog people... if you wish to discuss your various fetishes and perversions... Male bi-sexuality and all... please by all means... Go over there and do it. I'll pop in once or twice and call you all fags... but for the most part I'll leave you alone.

Here?

Post frequently about soccer here and expect to get it with both barrells. I don't come to your house and talk about my fondness of chicks in white socks... don't come here and tell me how much you like bisexual men who prance around in the grass... hug.... fall... and roll around like their seizing because their shoe string got stepped on.

Don't waste your breathe telling me how hot their wives are either. When women discuss masculinity they always do so in terms of how girly the man willing to be. In otherwords... when asked, women will say that a man who is willing to wear makeup and a dress is more manly than a guy who refuses. Why? They say because he's secure. Even more terrifying is the fact that lots of women even believe this. Of course.. granted.. they've never actually thought about it... they just "feel" it.

Praise God there are women out there (this is you Julie) who know what a man is, and realize that it is in fact a man they want. Unfortunately they are getting harder and harder to find.. as more and more women get their ideas of masculinity from hollywood or girly mags... or worse yet.. love songs.

Don't even get me started on love songs... they are the only thing worse for society than feminism... and soccer.

Now... ATF will commence when the youngins are in the bed. Until then.. I remain sober...

Dammit.

Subversion

Jeb's grandparents sent him a movie this week... and watching it with him I got to thinking...

Everything I need to know about subversion can be learned from "Santa Claus is Coming to Town".

You remember that old special right? Used to come on once a year back in the three channel days. This was big time back then man... up there with Rudolph. Well.. this is the story of Santa Claus... or at least... it was someone's story of Santa Claus.

If you'll recall there are two towns in the movie... the elf town where Santa is raised, and Somber Town, which is on the other side of the Mountain of the Whispering Winds, where the Winter Warlock lives.

To make a long story short... the elves are toy makers.. but they can't get their toys to Somber Town where the children are... and Santa volunteers to take them there. The fun begins when he arrives.

Santa meets a bunch of kids in Somber Town and starts to hand out toys... but the kids won't take them. Then a school teacher comes out and scolds Santa. She points out that toys are impractical, unproductive... and illegal.

Santa of course thinks is just silly to make toys illegal. So... what does he do?

Does he go speak to the city council? Does he talk to the mayor (Burgermeister Meister Burger)? No. Does he start a petition amongst the citizens to get the law changed?

No. He simply ignores the law. "It's a silly law", he says, and he hands out toys anyway... including giving one to the teacher... who then decides she agrees... and she decides to ignore the law as well.

Can you imagine? Teaching children that its ok to just... ignore a law... just because you disagree with it? Why its bloody madness! The Rule of Law must stand!

Why.. if this sort of thing were allowed to go on... the next thing you know... you'd have juries overturning verdicts... simply because they thought the law shouldn't apply. Is that what you want? People.. making desicions for themselves? Juries... standing up to judges?

Its no wonder they stopped airing these vile shows. Of course... that's not even the worst of it.. In the whole film there's not a single minority... global warming isn't even discussed... and worst of all.... same sex couples were not shown even one time.

Thank God these abominations are off the air... now... if you'll excuse me.. I have to go set my Tivo to record... "The Teletubbies' Christmas at the Bath House" is coming on tonight.

The Housing Bubble

A pet peeve of JAC's is the constant rumble of the bears. You know... the boys like me who look around and say... "Holy crap! This is all a big house of cards just wait for someone to bump the table!" Well just this once I hope the ol' feller cuts me some slack while I explain just why all this is crap is gonna fall apart, in very simple terms, that everyone can understand.

Ok boys... put on your imagination caps. Your employer comes up one day and says, "We're cuttin' everyone's pay in half. Ya feel dizzy... your stomach knotts up... then your local union rep struts up and tells you how hard they worked to make sure you only got a 50% paycut... oh but hey don't worry.... in three or four years... you'll be back to full pay. So he says.

So what do ya do? Ya can't go get another job... not one that pays what your old one did... and the bills are coming due. Savings will get ya through a few months but that's it.

So... ya go out and ya start living off credit cards. You borrow and borrow and borrow to fill in the gaps, because once the big payday comes in the next few years, you'll be fine. You just have to survive until then.

Every one of you knows that's stupid right? Every one of you knows that's the exact wrong thing to do. Right? The predictable outcome is finacial ruin and bankruptcy. Right?

Well that my friends is exactly what the Fed has done.

When the tech bubble burst, the keynes playbook says "print more money". So, they drop interest rates to the floor and pray. People see the insanely cheap money to be borrowed on their homes, and figure they can't lose. People start refi'ing their homes left and right, and spending the money and therefore keeping the economy going just fine. As more and more people borrow, this in turn drives up the cost the all ready moderately inflated housing market even more. It's simple really... people want money.. bank wants to give it to them.. so appraisors simply write it up and call it day. Doesn't matter if the house really isn't worth it... after enough false appraisals, you can eventually push up the market. People borrow more and more... with the low rates... more and more people buy houses. It goes on and on and on, and the prices go up and up and up.

But in the end.. the bill eventually comes due. It's a race. Its a race to find the next boom before the borrowed money runs out, and you pray the boom is enough to pull you out of the hole you dug.

Now... the hope is a few people take it in the keister when the housing market goes bang.

Here's the trouble with that solution. It's not a few people. New home sales are driving this bad boy, and have been for the last few years. So we still have millions of people out there, who's homes are not worth what they owe on them. They borrowed a bunch of money, and blew it, and now they have these handy little adjustible rate mortgages, that are just about to start choking them to death.

It's like quicksand. Your house isn't worth what you owe on it... so you can't afford to sell it... and every quarter... the payment goes up.. and up.. and up... and there is just nothing you can do about it.

The bill's comin' due boys. Is it coming tomarrow? No. Will there be a few more spikes in the stock market here and there before it happens? Yes. Does that mean it's not going to happen? No.

When you've got the cheerleaders on the MSM business shows talking about the looming housing bubble... you can rest assured the problem is already to bad to fix.

It's Hard Damned Work...

being this good. Props to Red for pointing this out... but please... Please take a moment to read the following, which your humble host posted on April 29, 2004:

With Gold closing at $387/oz you can hear the screetching for miles. Even way down under JaimeR is pissing on about how good it is to be out of metals right now.

There is universal worry in the commodities area, though it's not reached panic yet. People will say that Gold has lost 40 bucks per ounce and note the falling sky.

Listen up girls. You only lose if you sell when the price is low. If you bought when gold was at 400, and now it's at 380, you don't sell. You buy more and you wait. I'm personally kicking myself because I don't have anything to make a buy with. I would love to wait till the middle of next week. I still feel anything below 400 is a good deal, because the economy is on quicksand. There is a correction coming that could go back as far as 300 years. We're talking gloom and doom here people. Dog and Cats, living together... Mass Hysteria.

Real Estate, i.e. debt, has propped the US economy up for far to long. The FED has backed themselves into a corner. They have a pissed off hungry bear called inflation pacing around them looking to make them a meal. They keep tossing him bloody steaks in the form of low intereste rates, to stave him off. Now they are running out of steaks though, and they see the Bear is getting board with them anyhow. The FED will soon have to raise rates. When they do, things may teeter for a while, but eventually the rates will hit 8% or so... and that will be that. Without the new debt coming in, the house of cards falls apart.Once it dies, 10 bucks an ounce of Gold won't matter one bit. It'll be chump change.

Buy low and hoard people. Buy low and hoard!

Now.. for those of you who're paying attention... Gold hit 514.00 today and is still climbing. I sincerely hope you listened back then. If you did you made over 100 bucks per ounce... and well.. that fricken rocks.

You would all do well to also note that Vox's predictions are neither this specific, nor this right.

I am very pleased with this... as everything seems to be going along as I predicted... as the feds raise rates... the price of gold goes up. The Crash Protection Team is busy at work... performing miracles and keeping the zombie walking.. but the Real Estate Market that they are using for crutches is having the rug pulled out from under it.

$500 bucks is a nice turn over... but my advice???

By more.

$1200 per ounce is coming.

War

On a particular sunday morning in Hawaii... 3,700 US citizens lost their lives in a Japanese sneak attack.

A few years later on August 6th 70,000 Japanese citizens lost their lives in a US attack.

On August 9th another 40,000 Japanese citizens lost their lives in another US attack.

On September 11, 2001 roughly 3,000 US citizens were killed in a terrorist sneak attack.

A few years later... we've totally destroyed and removed 2 governments, and are eyeing number 3 (iran).

Personally I preffered the way we handled the Japs... but it certainly says something about US retribution when you look at in these terms. You kill 3,700 of ours? We kill 110,000 of yours. You knock down a couple of our buildings? We take over 2 of your countries.

I'm still hoping we use the big stick... but I'm afraid it isn't gonna happen.

The Death of Europe

Europe dies. This is not really debatable. Allow me to highlight just one spec in the growing mountain of evidence. See this quote from a particular Europeon:

If you could make one law, what would it be?

"I would dictate that no one would have to work fulltime ever again. at least not for money. "working" has been kidnapped by the capitalist system, and it's impossible for people to have a good life as long as there are employers and employees, and as long as people have to work to survive."—TW from Sweden


Nuff Said.

Closed Minds and Assumptions

Its greatly entertaining to watch those on the left leap and shout about our closed minds. At least it is for me. I mean... we're dealing with people who've never even read the great works of their own political spectrum... much less ours. Those that have read the works of their own rant like crazed loons... they regurgitate everything they swallowed... but they never take the time to fill the void with something new. They just go back to chewing their cud.

How about a quick poll?

Quick! Raise your hand if you've read Marx. Good... Darwin? Excellent.

Now... lets wonder over and talk to our friends from the left... Well... no... let's not. They're a dreadful bunch and not at all worth our time... so... Let's just point and laugh.

See... I know most of you have read Darwin and Marx and countless other leftist icons. I know that you came to the same conclusions I did. The Origin of Species has basicly nothing conclusive at all to say, and is only considered a great work of literature because it gave people something to think about and discuss over morning tea.

Marx on the other hand is notable most for his literary contributions of the ever expanding run-on sentence.

Of course... those who've never read Hayek don't necessarily understand just how complete Marx's stupidity is. Those who've never read Mises don't understand just how complete Keyensian Stupidity is as well.

Those of us who have... tend to laugh when leftist recite the same stupid clap-trap that we've seen so totally defeated in print decades old. We're dismissive. They assume its because we're closed minded... that we've never looked at their superior side of things.

They say these things to each other in coffee houses... patting each other on the back, and beeming in the confident cosmopolitan costumes.

You never find Mises on the shelves of those coffee houses though do you? Or Bastiat...

Wonder why that is?

Say A Prayer..

for my niece. She lost her horse today. I'm sure the women folk hear abouts can tell ya... for a little girl... this is no small deal.

Love ya darlin'.

Guns, Booze, and The Bill of Rights

Whenever discussion of firearms ownership comes up, the Second Amendment and its meaning are always front and center in the debate. Sadly... 2A is on relevant in a tangial way. What has been wholly lost in the last century is the idea of limited government. Why? Because we no longer focus on the Constitution... now we focus on the Bill of Rights.

In the early 1900s, everyone knew that the government would need a constitutional amendment to ban alcohol. Just a couple decades later the government is banning all sorts of things... no constitutional amendment necessary?

Why?

Because there is nothing about a Right to Smoke Dope in the Bill of Rights.

Strangely... there's nothing about a right to drink booze in the Bill ofRights either. So why the difference?

Back in the early 1900's people still at least partially remembered that the only powers the federal government had, were those specific powers enumerated in the Constitution. The Bill of Rights was not seen as the whole of the story. It was seen as a way to temper the few listed powers. IE... the governement is granted the power to do X, but it cannot do X in such a way that would violate any of the listed rights in the first 10 amendments.

Now? Now... the government is seen to simply be able to do anything it wants... so long as it doesn't violate the rights listed in the first 10 amendments.

The rest of the Constitution may as well not be there.

So let's get back to guns. Where in the Consititution is the federal government specificly given the power to regulate the manufacture, or ownership, or use, of weapons? One could argue that the comerce clause grants them the right to regulate the state to state sale of said weapons. But that's it.

And see... that's the end of the story right there. What the word "arms" means in the Second Amendment... or wether or not "the People" refers to individuals or the militia... These points are irrelevant, for the power is one that the federal government is simply doesn't have in the first place.

"But if that's all true, why even bother having a Second Amendent?" shout my critics... with their beedy little eyes... foul breath... and un-naturally tiny... feet.

Quite simple says I. There are powers the government has been granted, and a particularly treacherous individual might seek to use those powers to expand the powers of the government beyond the original intent. Said treacherous individual... for expediance sake we'll call him... Abe... Abe might use the say... use the power of the commerce clause to attempt to regulate anything and everything that moves across state lines... even when the regulations have nothing to do with the actual crossing. The Bill of Rights is there as sort of... a second line of defense. A place we can look to... and say... Whoa Abe. Chill boy. Yeah, firearms may traverse state lines, and that commerce clause may give you the power to insure a level playing field state to state, but it doesn't give you the power to ban weapons, for you must regulate commerce in such a way that doesn't infringe on the people's right to bear arms.

The Bill of Rights was designed to close loop holes.

Instead... it became the biggest loop hole of all.

Watch Those Claws

DrWho: So guess what your brother told me today...

Nate: Which one?

DrWho: The old one.

Nate: They're both old.

DrWho: The really old one.

Nate: Oh... JAC? What'd he say?

DrWho: He said I needed to have a little girl.

Nate: I don't know how to make little girls.

DrWho: That's what I told him...

***Several Seconds Pass***

DrWho: I suppose if I really want a girl bad enough I'll just have to call up JAC.

Bored

Well... it's friday... the little one's sleepin'... the bigger little one is playing with his train and runs me off everytime I go in there... so I am reduced to this.

So what's it gonna be today folks? Guns? Sex? Music? Movies?

I could take some time to fill y'all in on the move... but even though things are pretty much decided, its not 100% until the docs are signed... so I'll save it till then... Y'all won't be disappointed though.. I promise ya that.

I watched the 4th Prophecy movie yesterday... Ain't bein' a stay-at-home dad rough? It was good... but not as good as the others. Walken wasn't in it... and the Angels were depicted quite differently... fun.. but not as fun. Ya know?

Anyway... Vox's place has been invaded by some of the most willfully stupid people I've ever encountered... so... anyone seeking to take refuge... you're welcome here. Pull up a chair...

It's Friday after all.. and while its still early... one can expect Jamie to be loaded and posting God knows what any time now. Should make for some good time killin' I reckon.

In the meantime... I'm gonna smoke... Anyone else here roll their own?

Pan-Galactic Press Release

Let's be clear. I haven't tried out SlingDot yet, and I am not officially endorsing it. Not that it matters really... but I have looked into it, and it does look cool. At first glance it strikes me as Yahoo.Games for cash prizes. Sounds good to me. You can expect more info later. Press release follows:

Dec 2, 2005: Slingdot.com goes live!

SlingDot is a gaming community built around on-line casual gaming, chat, contests, cash and prizes. SlingDot features a Free Games section open to unlimited play for all gamers over the age of 12 and a members-only gaming area called the DotSpot. DotSpot membership is available Dec 15th and is only $4.95 a month or $29.95 a year. Full membership benefits include access to exclusive games, member contests, enhanced chat features, no advertising, and greater opportunities to win cash and prizes.

All levels of gamers earn Dots for their play. The better you are, the more you'll earn, and DotSpot members earn triple the Dots of free account players. Beginning Feb 1, 2006 Dots can be used to enter daily, weekly, and monthly drawings for cold hard cash. In coming months SlingDot will unveil many other benefits and personalization items that players can access using their Dots. And as the old saying goes - he who dies with the most Dots wins! How many Dots you got?

Dec 2 is a soft launch for the site with more features and games being added every day. Visit us, check the news area for upcoming additions, and share your thoughts with us. This is a gaming community, and the players will drive the look, feel, and feature set as this community grows. Our goal is to make your gaming experience the best it can be!

As a special introductory offer, all players get a 14 day free trial membership to the DotSpot, giving everyone access to the members-only games. Play them all, rack up Dots, and save them for the future.

Bravado

I hate it. When I see it... I think one thing. Coward.

I'm reminded of growing up... watching kids fight. Ya know... there were always some kids that just couldn't go. They had to convince themselves to go first. They would posture and pose. They'd dance around and make ridiculous threats and jestures... and yes... the majority of these kids were black. Sorry... Facts don't make me a racist. They're just facts.

They would do their little war dance until they convinced themselves they were brave enough to fight, and then they would fight.

Unless they were unfortunate to be squaring off with a kid who didn't need a war dance. These of course made for the shortest, and most entertaining confrontations.

Boy A jumps around... gets in Boy B's face... begins shouting something like, "I ain't playin'!" and walking back and forth or in circles.

Boy B recognizes Boy A as a threat... but does not respond. He just watches for a few seconds. Like he's bored.

Boy A sees Boy B's failure to join his war dance as cowardice... and thus is now even more enthusiastic. His gestures become even more wild... his boasting threats more loud. As he builds up steam he's more and more likely to actually make physical contact with BoyB... though it is costumary to push or bump a few times before actually fighting. Boy A... now in a lather reaches out and knocks Boy B's hat off.

Boy A now infinitely impressed with himself dances, and flails his arms up shouting... "Now whatcha doin'? huh? Bitch? Huh? now what?"

Boy B has no been physicly assaulted, and responds accordingly. While Boy A is still only 75% done with his war dance, Boy B has no need of such things.

***POW***

Boy A drops like a rock, grabs his jaw, and rolls around on the ground for a few seconds. Then he gets up on one knee.

***POW***

Boy A is now bleeding from at least a couple places... his mind is whirling... trying to understand what's happening... and how...

At this point... either BoyB's friends pull him off of Boy A... or Boy A dies.

It's that simple. It happens every day.. all over the country. In fact... it even happens in the Blogosphere. Which is why I'm posting this.

Right now... Feminists bloggers are dancing around... telling themselves how bad they are... calling Vox Day a bitch... and convincing themselves that they really tough. Vox is simply watching.

Me? I'm just waitin' for the haymaker.

God's Own Egg Nog

1 Liter Maker's Mark
1 Quart milk
1 Quart heavy cream
2 Dozen eggs
1 1/2 Cups sugar
Nutmeg

Separate eggs and beat the yolks until creamy. Whip sugar into the yolks, then bat the whites until they stand in peaks, adding a 1/2 cup of additional sugar if desired. Beat the yolks and Maker's Mark together and add the whites. Beat cream into a froth, then add milk and cream to the egg mixture. Add nutmeg to taste and garnish each cup with a dash of nutmeg for a dash of color. The recipe makes 2 1/2 gallons. Use pastuerized eggs if you can find 'em.

Tis' the Season!!!

The Otherside of the Coin

The Resident RocketScientist says:

This reminds me of something Mrs. Astro told me about this "Christian" sorority she thought about joining one semester at Texas A&M. She went to a few meetings, got to know a couple of the other girls, but in the process, she found out very non-Christian things about them.The one that sticks in my mind was the girl who was sleeping with every guy she dated, because she wanted to make sure she married someone who was good in bed. You know, since she'd be stuck with him the rest of her life.

So allow me for once to play the devil's advocate. The girl is correct. You are stuck with what you get the rest of your life. In reality, sexual incompatibility is a huge issue in marriage. It's one that some overcome and some simply do not. So I thought I should go ahead and share the 100% true nitemare scenario so you can judge for yourself.

During her OB/Gyn rotation in medical school DrWho learned of a situation that was just to sad. She was discussing out-of-the-ordinary situations with her attending and this came up. It seems one day a particularly attractive married woman came in to the office. When the attending got ready to examine her, he found that her hymen was still intact. The woman was visibly humiliated, but stated that she was sexually active... her husband simply wasn't big enough to break it. The attending explained that the exam would break it and effectively take her virginity, and she was ok with it. Think about that. Talk about Captain Tiny!

Now... we can all laugh at this poor soul's husband, but the fact is the odds of this chick getting knocked up by natural means are practicly nill, not to mention the fact that she's likely never had a real orgasm and probably never will... well... from her husband at least. Heaven knows what'll happen when she realizes that there are actually men with penises out there. I'm just sayin'.. Odd's are this chick's gonna have a happy mailman.

So... is pre-marital sex sin? Yeah it is. Is divorce sin? yeah. It is. Is cheating on your spouse sin? Yeah it is. Is one sin better than a lifetime of sin? That's your call babe.

How about a story from the other side?

I gotta buddy... good Church of Christ kid. Found a hot little thing down at the University of North Texas... Great girl... or so everyone thought... including him. They dated a long time. Plenty of time to get to know one another and talk about their plans. She was also very upfront about the fact that she was saving herself for marriage. Something that my buddy dug.

Blah blah blah... They get married, fly off to the honeymoon... where they spend the next 5 days sleeping seperately. The girl spent the entire time in tears, because horror of horrors... my buddy wanted to have sex with his new wife. Within a month of the marriage she had moved back in with her parents because she couldn't bare to live with such a "pervert". They were divorced after a total of 3 months of marriage.

Now here's my advice kids... You're signin' up for the rest of your life... and you ain't doin' it because you want to be celibate. Do ya have to have premarital sex to be sure it will work out? Of course not. But boys... you better damned well make out with her enough to make sure she doesn't have psycho anti-sex issues... and girls.... ya better find a way to make sure your prospective mate has the required tackle. No one's goin' to Hell for heavy over the clothes petting.

People... God forgives.

Divorce lawyers do not.

Eavesdropping

One of the skills my mother taught me. I remember... spending countless hours eating lunch with her in some fastfood resturaunt or another... in total silence, simply listening to the conversations of those around us. I don't remember Mom consciencely teaching me... I just remember her pointing out a few things here and there... and eventually it became our game. I'm sure we made quite a pair.... a mother and her youngest son... sitting in silence... exchanging only knowing glances when a particularly juicy detail was dropped. Most times we would stifle our laughter for fear that we might miss something good.

This habit has stuck with me. In fact... its one that I probably couldn't break if I tried. I do it without thinking... and I have to check myself continually, because I'll hear something, and I'll start to point it out... then I realize that the company I am keeping really wouldn't get it.

Fortunately my dear wife has picked it up.

Last night we were at the mall letting the boys play, and we stopped off to tank up on some nasty mall food. Ahh.. is there anyplace better to eavesdrop than a crowed mall food court? I think not.

The natives did not disappoint.

3 trendy college girls sat behind me... and lo did we recieve an education.

***Warning. Honest depiction of college whore talk below. The young, old, pregnant, nursing, short, poor, and easily offended should procede with caution.***

Girl 1: So like... Why him?
Girl 2: Well.. first of all.. His family fits the criteria. I could like him just for that... but like... its more than that. What about you?
Girl 1: I like John... well.. I mean... The sex is just fucking incredible. Well.. lastnight wasn't so good... but normally its unbelievable.
Girl 2: What went wrong last night?
Girl 1: He was acting all sensitive and stuff... ya know? He was being all gentle with me... and lovey dovey...
Girl 2: God I hate that shit...
Girl 1: I know! Its like... just fuck me dammit! Jam it in there! I don't care who you love right now... I'm tryin' to get off.
Girl 2: Exactly! Pull my hair... call me a bitch!

I managed to not crack up. Mostly. DrWho didn't hear all of it, but she heard enough. The bit about family criteria would've made the whole event worth-while on its own... the rest was just bonus... oh sure.. it was pure gold bonus... but bonus none-the-less.

Boys... It's buyer beware. I simply cannot in good conscience recommend you to marry. Its quite clear to me that this generation is freakin' psycho.

So yes... I will be arranging marriages for my sons... at age 13... to well raised pretty little blonde girls of excellent southron genes. Its the only way I'll be able to insure I'll get to see my grandkids.

No offense to any of your posterity Spacebunny.

The Parable of the Snake

One day, a long time ago, a little girl name Sarah found a snake in the woods. The snake was badly wounded, and obviously dying.

Sarah felt pity on the snake and took him home with her, and nursed him back to health. It seemed like with each passing day, the snake gained strength. Sarah was so proud of him, and proud of herself for helping him.

Then one Sarah opened the snake's box to feed him... and the Snake bit her!

"Ouch!" said Sarah. "Why did you bite me? I've cared for you! I've helped you!"

The snake hissed.

"Indeed. You did help me. But I am still a snake."

Comment Gold

In the previous thread.... JAC drops this bomb:

You can't face the fact that coconuts are migratory because you are cocophobic due to a latent unrealized migratory instinct.

Bow Down.

Loosing the Cat

I have no idea if its paper or plastic... all I know is, I'm fixing to debag a few cats. Feminists. Gays. Minorities. Listen up folks. No one else loves you enough to tell ya this stuff... and pay attention. I ain't gonna say this more than once. Dammit.

It is a percieved mordern truism that fear and insecurity are the root of all of societies ills. According to what passes today for convensional wisdom sexism has its roots in male insecurity, racism is based on white ignorance (fear of the unknown), and anyone who dislikes homosexuality is labelled with a psuedo-psychiatric disorder (homophobia).

See? Its all because of fear... and in every case... please note how the strong are scared of the weak.

I've dealt with race and what morons call homophobia in the past, so for today we're gonna focus on sexism. Now... in order to better frame this discussion I'm going to go ahead and use the feminist definition of the relevant terms.

Feminism: The belief in the superiority of women in all things.

Sexism: The equal treatment of women and men.

Now that's out of the way... we can make some progress here. What inspired this little rant was the habitual hurling of insults from the feministas of the world. Whenever a man criticises feminism he is immediatly dismissed. He's only doing it because he's angry because he can't get laid. Interstingly this is very similar to the way homosexuals immidiately accuse their critics of being secretly gay. Its doubly interesting when you watch well known feminists cry about not being about to get a man.

So... men who criticisize feminists are just pissed because they can't get laid... and we know men want to get laid... and we know that men who want to get laid, try to get laid... so... these men are trying to get laid by hating feminism. Right?

Wrong.

Listen carefully now darlin' because this is the important part. Men who are being really nice and accomodating to you, are likely doing so because they want something from you. Men who don't want anything from you, will simply be honest with you. Those of us who are happily married to beautiful women really couldn't care less if you like us or not. So when you run your mouth about your idiotic political views, we point out the fact that said political views are idiotic, and often we do so very harshly.

That's how boys play. We play rough. Now... go wipe your tears away honey, and try to remember how much you like equality.

So where does this stupidity come from? Pretty simple really. Feministas, like gays, can't imagine people being different from them. For all their bluster about open-minds, when they are confronted with something that is legitimately different, they recoil in horror, and convince themselves it doesn't exist.

Feministas think all women are just like them... and since they would never lay a particular guy, then obviously no woman would. But... it's there's one other amusing aspect to all this.

See... conventional wisdom doesn't just have it wrong. It has it completely back-asswards. Where in nature do we see the strong fear the weak? Sure... there is the insane elephant-mouse reaction... but such are the exceptions that make the rule.

I ask you... who is acting insecure? Where on the internet do you find whole pages defending the accomplishments of men? Do you see men out there screaming that they are just as good as anyone else?

No. Its the feminists that do the screaming. Wailing like menopausal banshees... as though through sheer volumn alone they will achieve the sacred validation they so crave.

Well put a sock in it sister. You wanted equality. You got it. Its not our fault that you don't like it.

Stealing Light poles???

Ok seriously... I know people really don't want to work, but come on. At some point the work you do to avoid working, is more work than you'd be doing if you just went to work. I would say sawing down light poles and hauling them off to sell as scrap would certainly demonstrate crossing that line.

I mean come on... stealing light poles? How long is it before some thug in Mary-Land rounds up some friends and some jackhammers and makes off with a whole Post Office?

Only the Canadians...

From Drudge:

November 24, 2005 -- A former Canadian Minister of Defence and Deputy Prime Minister under Pierre Trudeau has joined forces with three Non-governmental organizations to ask the Parliament of Canada to hold public hearings on Exopolitics -- relations withBy “ETs,” Mr. Hellyer and these organizations mean ethical, advanced extraterrestrial civilizations that may now be visiting Earth.

On September 25, 2005, in a startling speech at the University of Toronto that caught the attention of mainstream newspapers and magazines, Paul Hellyer, Canada’s Defence Minister from 1963-67 under Nobel Peace Prize Laureate Prime Minister Lester Pearson, publicly stated: "UFOs, are as real as the airplanes that fly over your head."

Mr. Hellyer went on to say, "I'm so concerned about what the consequences might be of starting an intergalactic war, that I just think I had to say something."

Hellyer revealed, "The secrecy involved in all matters pertaining to the Roswell incident was unparalled. The classification was, from the outset, above top secret, so the vast majority of U.S. officials and politicians, let alone a mere allied minister of defence, were never in-the-loop."

Hellyer warned, "The United States military are preparing weapons which could be used against the aliens, and they could get us into an intergalactic war without us ever having any warning. He stated, "The Bush administration has finally agreed to let the military build a forward base on the moon, which will put them in a better position to keep track of the goings and comings of the visitors from space, and to shoot at them, if they so decide."

Read the rest here. Please note that last bit... We're apparently going to build a military base on the moon.

The moon.

So we can shoot at the aliens... Ok then. Please also note how often these aliens are described as "ethical". Now I don't know about you.. but I've read plenty of abduction stories... and I don't see anything ethical about kidnapping someone and probing them.... anally.

Ya know where I come from we call that sodomy... rape.. and kidnapping too... not to mention... you know... just plain rude.