Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Bad Joke Wednesday

You know what day it is right? Yeah baby. Yeah.

- A man is a bus driver on Sesame Street and insists on meeting all of his riders. At the first stop, two overweight women got on the bus; both are named Patty. At the next stop, a mentally challenged boy named Ross got on. At the final stop, a disgusting man named Lester Freeze got on, took off his shoes, and picked at his bunions.

When the bus driver got home, his wife asked him if he met anyone new that day. He said, "Two obese Patties, special Ross; Lester Freeze picks his bunions on a Sesame Street bus."

-A dentist found something wrong with one of his patients. The upper plate that had been put in earlier was corroding. "What have you been eating?" the dentists asked the man.
"All I can think of is that about three months ago my wife made some asparagus and put Hollandaise sauce on it. I loved it so much, I put it on everything now."
"That's the problem," the dentist said, frowning. "Hollandaise sauce contains lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. I'll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome."

"Why chrome?"

"It's simple. Everyone knows there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise."

-Why did the banana put on sun-tan lotion?

To keep from peeling.

-Said Helvetica Narrow to Helvetica Bold: "Hey, you're just my type."

-What is yellow and wears a mask?

The Lone Lemon.

-Two sausages are in a frying pan. One says, "Geez, it's hot in here isn't it?"

And the other one says, "Aaaaaah! A talking sausage!"

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