Sunday, July 25, 2004

Pride before the fall
To be on the safe side I went to walmart and picked up some brand new tie-downs for the bike.  Curt and Sherry helped me load her up and strap her down, which isn't nearly as fun as it sounds, and this morning I headed on down to Tennessee.

I had been on the road about three hours.   I was just past beckley, WV, rollin' south on 77, when it happened.  Code Brown!  I'm looking in my mirror, when I hear ***POP***, and I see the bike fall over in the trailer.   Apparently human heart does NOT taste like chicken.  At least mine didn't.  I gagged a bit on it when it decided to jump out of my chest but I was eventually able to force it back down.

It seems that i remembered to put the kick-stand down, and it had caught the bike.  I knew better than to hit the breaks.  I just let the truck gradually slow down.  I caught a break and actually coasted right into a spot in a rest area!

I changed my underwear, then grabbed the spare tie-down (be prepared) and tried to calm down.  The spare is ok for emergency use, but it would last long.   I limped on down a few more miles to an exit with a walmart, and somehow managed to get the truck there and stopped safely without destroyin' my newly painted, super-cool bike.  You cannot imagine how much I cussed.

So anyway, I go to walmart and buy two 1200 pound tie-downs.  Mind you, they don't weigh 1200 pounds.  They hold that much up.  But I digress...

I was happily strapping the bike down when this fatass on a harley pulls up.  For one fleeting moment I thought, "Hey cool, dude is gonna offer to help out a biker in need."  Right.

"Hey boy, you know if you had a harley you wouldn't have to trailer that bike.  You could ride it where you're going."

Now imagine.  Here I am, about to ride this bike 4000 miles to the Grand Mutha-F.....g Canyon, and this fatass is gonna talk shit about his bar-hopper with 1500 miles on it.

I less than tactfully explain the situation.

"You ain't takin' that bike out west.  Not unless you know a good chiropractor."

Given the circumstances I don't think it should've been illegal for me to shoot this bastard.  Ahhh... but the Good Lord had other plans...

I hopped down off the trailer and started taking a good look at his Harley.  It was a polished up older dyna.  I knelt down and checked out the chrome covers when I noticed something drip from the case.  Muwahahahahahahaha!

I wiped a bit on to my finger and said, "Damn.  This is a fine lookin' bike buddy...  But umm....  You're leakin' oil."

I made it to Murfreesboro safe and sound.  Any of the Nashville contingent lookin' to grab a beer, gimmie a holler in the comments.  We roll next sunday.

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