Friday, July 09, 2004

Scary Movies

What a great topic for a Friday Night. This needs no explaination, and I'm not going to do any ranking deal. This is way to subjective. What's scary as hell to me, may not bother you a bit. It all depends on our imaginations. Here are some horror films that I either loved, loved/hated, or just plain scared the bejeezus out of me.

The Exorcist: Let's face it, if you believe possession is real, and I do, this movie is the scariest thing you can imagine. First of all, it was loosely based on an exorcism that took place in Cincinnati. The main difference was, in real life it was a little boy, not a little girl. Also, the things that the little girl did, are almost all taken from different records that priests had from former exorcisms. Now, no exorcism had all these freaky things happen.... but they all happened. Anyone who has ever seen this movie, will cringe when they hear the name.

"Who are you talkin' to honey?"

"Captain Howdy."

You hear that? That's what creepy sounds like. Hell I got chills just typin' it. In fact.. I typed it 15 seconds ago...and I still got chills. Julie watched the movie with my brother (not Jim) and I. When the little girl said that name for the first time... we both were visibly creeped out. She laughed at us. 20 minutes later... she was in the fetal position in my arms. When it was over.. she refused to get off the couch. And when she read that name.. Captain Howdy... I can gaurantee you she cringed.

Friday the 13th: No. I'm not talking about part 5 or 10 or whatever. I'm talking about the first one, and only the first one. Like Rocky, this franchise was started with a great film. There was real psychology. Jason was a real character, not some mummy in a hockey mask. If you haven't seen this, or you've forgotten, I highly recommend going back and takin' a look at it.

Don't Answer the Phone: This whole movie is built around one scene, but to be honest, it's one of the best scenes in the history of the genre. It's classic. It involves a teenaged girl babysitting, and a guy keeps calling the house saying...

"Have you checked the children?"

See? There are those chills again. Jeez. That's all I'm telling you. But take my word for it. What happens over the next few minutes is pure horror gold.

Alien: Just because there is a spaceship, don't make this sci-fi. This is pure horror. Creepy looking thing... with creepy goo oozing off it, sneaking around a dark creepy spaceship killing people in creepy creepy fashion. Did I mention it was creepy?

The Mothman Profecies: First of all, there are few actors if any, that I hate worse than Richard Gere. He's the main character, and this movie still rocked, in spite of him. Everyone I have ever watched this movie with was disturbed by it. Esspecially those of us who've actually been across that particular bridge, or seen the police reports filed in the little town in the movie. To be blunt... a great deal of what is depicted in the movie, is true and verifiable via police and phone records. Like the Exorcist, this is a conglomeration of Mothman stories, all jammed into one film, but it works. I don't know if you believe in Mothman, or even know what the Mothman (which is a stupidly inapproptiate name) phenomena is. But I do, and let me tell you, its all very very creepy, and a little to verifiable for my tastes.

Blair Witch Project: This movie either scared you shitless, or bored you to tears. Those of us with very active imaginations, who concentrate on films when they watch, are usually the ones who freaked out about this. Now... The trouble with this movie is that it doesn't scare you. You scare yourself. It doesn't show you a serial killer in the woods. It doesn't show you the boogy man. It shows you nothing. You're left to imagine whats out there. So for a guy like me... Well... That's doom. By the last time it got dark in that movie, Julie and I were wanting to climb under the seat. Now.. yes... It's true... I hated the characters. I hated them all, and I wanted them to die. I wanted Jason to appear and drag them off to Camp Crystal Lake. I mean... You're lost in the woods... and how many times do you cross the same damned stream? I can't feel sorry for people as stupid as these kids were. Of course, they were city type college kids, and living a few blocks from a major university, I can tell you for a fact, they really are that stupid. What made this movie scary was what you heard but never saw. What you thought, and imagined... You either scared youself silly, or you just were so bored you left the theater. When it was over... My friends and I just sat there lookin at the screen. After about a minute... I said.. "somebody's gonna have to pass me a bottle." and we just drank that shit away.

That's enough for now. Let's see what y'all think.

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