Thursday, January 13, 2005

Why Vehicles Are Female

Our beloved Spacebunny comments: I thought ships, trucks and vehicles in general were female.

Quite right. They are indeed. It all stems from the fact that we american males love our toys. I don't mean we enjoy them. I mean we love them. We dote on them. We've been accused of treating them better than we treat our wives. But given the modern female worldview... Can ya blame us?

See... it would be very uncomfortable for us to speak lovingly about... "John"... however, it's perfectly natural for us to talk about how much we love "Christine". Dig?

Now this brings up the whole topic of picking a name for your vehicle, and like all other masculine practices, there is a fairly loose protocol. Not so much rules mind you, but classifications. You don't get kicked out of the Boy Club if you don't use them, but we'll certainly laugh at you.

1) Sport cars and roadsters get stripper names.

2) New trucks get common female names. It's becoming increasingly acceptable to give your truck a good old-fashion dog's name too. Some traditionalist will scoff though.

3) Old reliab trucks get bizarre old feminine names... for example, a 1960 chevy... painted Orange and rattle can Maroon.... would be called Lula-Belle.

4) Motorcycles mind you are a totally different story. They don't get girl names. They get horse names. I think that's self explanitory.

5) Boat names require an entire post.

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