ATF!

This is bound to be a downer after the return of the Harem... but tradition demands it. I sincerely hope y'all are all sippin' something ya love... except Jamie of course... who I hope is pounding tinnies.

Guiness Space Bunny? or is it wine tonight? Vox got is pinky out sippin' on something with an umberella in it?

JAC... that's some Russell's Reserve in your hand right?

Don't lie to me boys... after lookin' through the harem pics I know you're all thinkin' of a nice drink. Hell.. PORCUS bit the Bulliet about noon! Might have had it for breakfast! Poor ol' boy must've known it was gonna be a rough day.

Hrm...

Ya know I've been thinking about this request for stats... Maybe I should be including favorite drinks and choice of firearm with the ladies pics? How 'bout it girls? What do ya drink? What do you like to shoot? How about tunes?

I'm sippin' on some Woodfords Reserve and I'll prolly even have some Blantons later on... I know I know.. but I'm in the mood.. shut up... Cross Canadian Ragweed is playin'... Charlie Robinson's gonna come on before long too... along with Cash andKristofferson... You can't be drinkin' foo foo drinks with that kinda music on... it's blasphemy.

Lets face it... a beer just won't do it when "Angel flyin' to close to the ground" is playin'.

Anyway... I've got a 7-shot .357 wheelgun... a nice smoke... honduras smoke... who knew? Good tunes... guns.. good music...

Boys are tucked in and sleepin' the peaceful sleep of children.

It's not bad... not to bad. Hope you can say the same.

Now before I go... A picture and a song...


***Chorus***
George Jones and Jesus
Are two hero's of mine
One is only human
and the other one divine

When I could not find a friend
I found out that I had two
George Jones and Jesus
Pulled me through.

When a man is on the bottom
he may not cry for help.
But he needs to know he's not alone
in hell all by himself

Those songs ol' George was singing
They somehow eased the hurt.
And Jesus did not turn me out
When a bar room wasy my church.

***Chorus***

Now the Possum ain't no savior
but he never claimed to be.
and Jesus hung out with a crowd
of troubled souls like me

Now you can't find a George Jones Classic
in a big black book of hymns
But I'm living proof that Jesus saves
in a smoky place like this.

***Chorus***

The Harem

DrWho

Darlin' Joy

Kristy

Space Bunny













Jeanne! Pumping Iron!

Blondage

Wouldn't you like to know?

Renee

Morgan of the Lake (Token Hippy! I got a Token Hippy!)


















Taylor wants to play too!

Of course there were several entries that were just unfit for publication... many of which no amount of photoshopping could dignify. That's not a complaint of course... That's just the way it is. Now.. you may recall that there were womens in the previous Harem who are not pictured... They have not been removed. Once a HaremGirl... always a HaremGirl... they most likely simply didn't send pictures along... or sent pictures to naughty to include. I suspect the Harem will grow as well now that its back up for all to see. I do hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Are You Suprised?

No doubt you've already read a dozen blogs that are huffing and puffing endlessly on the various meanings that can be extrapolated from the Hamas victory in "palestine". I'm sure you've read that its a victory for democracy... for the process. I'm sure you've read that its the end of the world. I'm sure you've read that's its the worst possible out come... and I'm sure you've read that its the most beautiful thing in the world when armed men lay down their guns and vote.

Well.. I'm not sure of any of those things. I'm actually hoping that my readers are smart enough to skip any article or blog that prints such stupidity.

Hamas' win isn't shocking.. or poignant.. or particularly revealing. If you learned something from it that I can only conclude that you have a serious dearth of historical knowledge.

This isn't new. It's is in entirely predictable.

Peoples routinely elect tyrants and dictators... even when they have a choice in the matter. The Germans for example didn't have to elect the Nazi Party. The Italians didn't have to elect the Fascist Party. Americans didn't have to elect Abraham Lincoln. On and on and on we can go back through history and find examples of evil men using the powers of Democracy to initially gain power... then of course they use the force of arms to keep it.

Hamas is in power now. Don't think for one second that they will release that power in an election.

There is a basic flaw in the modern understanding of human nature. It claims that man seeks freedom.

This is incorrect. History and obversable reality teach that the majority of people want to be dominated. They want to be ruled. Like a dog that loves its kennel... restrictions make them feel secure.

We see this all over America today.. and indeed all over the world. People seek out parking restrictions on their own streets... then they go buy permits to put on their cars so they can park on that very same street.

Why?

Because just parking on the street made them uncomfortable. They wanted a document that showed it was ok for them to do so.

They need someone to tell them its ok.

Remember... we are the minority. Those of us who want to be left alone... who rely on ourselves rather than on society... we are the freaks. Its not the otherway around.

There are always more sheep than wolves... and the sheep always look to the shepard to save them... Even while the shepard leads them off to the sheers.

Public Service Announcement

The Bloggerblaster Guide to Women's Personals Ads:

40-ish ........................ 49.
Adventurous .............. Slept with everyone.
Athletic ...................... No breasts
Average looking .......... Moooo.
Beautiful .................... Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure ... On medication.
Feminist .................... Fat
Free spirit .................. Junkie
Friendship first .......... Former slut.
New-Age ................... Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-Fashioned ........... No BJs.
Open-minded ............. Desperate
Outgoing ................... Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional .............. Bitch
Voluptuous ................ Very Fat
Large frame ............... Hugely Fat
Wants soul mate ....... Stalker

Insert bad jokes here.

Mad Max Rules





Stormtroopers are gay.

T - 59 Days

Our house is still not on the market... and we are now practically certain that we will be buying a house without ever actually stepping foot in it.

What a bizarre life we lead.

Red Wings Suck

The Predators just beat the hated Detroit Red Wings twice in two nights.

Nashville is now in first place in the Western Conference.

I know this is in Revelation somewhere.

Internet Anonymity

Over at his place Will posts:

"Nate, on the other hand, has done a horrible job at keeping his PERSEC tight. Posting pictures of him, his family, his house, his truck, his bike, and his address back this up a little. "

I get stuff like this a lot. On one hand you have guys like Bane and Vox who freak if you go so far as to mention how many kids they may or may not have. Strange... especially considering that Vox's alter-ego has a fan club. I suppose they do this because they know there are freaks out there, and its likely they've said something to piss the freaks off.

Now seriously... those of you who read this blog... or know me through commenting elsewhere... do you really think I haven't thought about this? Ya think this is an accident?

Lets look at it. What's the worst that could happen?

ID theft? Whose ID? Mine? So what? I don't have credit cards. Fixing my credit report (which I do check by the way and so should you) would be a minor inconvenience... mostly because I don't borrow money. Just ain't worried about it.

Ahh... but what if some freak got pissed and came by the house? One can only hope. I've never gotten to shoot a real live human being with the pt-101... but I hope to one day.

Look... I post some fairly radical stuff here. I think differently than just about everyone you're gonna meet. If got stories on here that many people simply find unbelievable. And why should they be believable? Its the internet... you can make up anything you want... and post anything you want. Truth has no meaning here.

I choose to lend the blog some credibility though. I do that by providing some evidence. My family is here reading this stuff. My wife... my brothers... my in-laws. If I am just making stuff up, they will call me out on it. I don't post under some lame ass alias. I'm Nate dammit. I use my name.

So could the Bloggerblaster be full of shit? Of course. But there is less reason to doubt me than say... Bane. Not because Bane is lieing... but because there are no verifications of anything Bane says. Face it... for all you know Bane is a 15-year-old kid who read a lot of comics and military novels. I don't say this to cast aspertions. Bantrants is a great blog. I'm just using it to make a point. Bane trades personal security for a lack of credibility. I don't.

Is it stupid?

That's for you to decide. I don't care. The real threats are always physical. Its the physical I prepare for and guard against. Hyper-vigilance doesn't even begin to describe it. Come on... I nearly killed someone in a post-office for the crime of being a paleskinny male in dark clothes and creeping me out while talking to my kid.

Let me give a recent example. The other night my dad and I were talkin' in the kitchen... it was late... we are all about ready for bed... but home invasions had been in the news and were the topic of discussion. I was of course blowing it off. Dad looked at me and said, "hey... it happens everyday. It could happen to you. They could kick that front door down." Now... here I am standing around in a bitch beater and a pair of boxers.

I took two quick steps, produced a firearm from no where and aimed at the front door. This happened in around a second. This of course suprised my Dad... but I have no idea why it would. You'd think he'd know by now.

Not bad really... but probly not as good as JAC... who simply carries a side arm at all times. Cut me some slack. I was ready for bed.

Its all just risk assesment and preparation. No big deal.

You've Got to be Shitting Me

Those slant-eyed yella bastards from Toyota are going to join NASCAR???

Building the railroads is one thing... driving a carberated 900 horse power behemoth around the half-mile salad bowl we call Bristol is quite another. Ain't it bad enough that NASCAR had to teach them how to make their engines when they joined the truck series?

And what are they gonna race anyway? I mean.. I know the modern Monte Carlo on the sales floor has jack squat to do with the car they race on sunday... but at least they actually offer a v-8 in the thing. The only v-8 toyota makes goes in what they loosely define as a truck.

And seriously... I know washed-up ol' DW drives their truck... but what driver is gonna squeeze into that Prius or whatever they call it?

Dayem.. it'll probly even be a hybrid.... with airbags... prolly even be sponsored by Tampax or some shit... or GreenPeace...

Somebody shoot me.

I can see it now... Ward Burton mumbling after a 40th place finish at Daytona...

"Wayell.... yaknowman... Eye'd jus leyek 'a thaynk all 'em boys what warked on at tampax tampoons number 82 tie-ota. We give'em hayell till that engine gave out on lap 10... with ire fool milage I reckon we'd had somethin' far 'em if we'd just had a chaince."

I am depressed.

Another Boring Finance Post

I know y'all hate it when I post these stock rants... after all.... how many times do you need to hear "the sky is falling!" Yeah well... take the good with the bad... it's my blog... dammit.

So lately I've had this post floating around in my head. I've been trying to figure out a clear way to explain what's wrong with the American stock market. Well... this mornin'... I was sittin' there watchin' Sportcenter... eatin' a dognut... and I had what alcoholics call a moment of clarity.

Think of your family as a publicly traded company. Think of your financial decisions the way a CEO does. Think of your family's stock prices. In todays market... what decisions would you make to make your stock price go up? Would those decisions actually benefit your family's financial health?

The answer is of course no. Quite the opposite actually. CEO's are largely judged by stock performance, but stock performance rarely has anything to do with profit. It's about hype.

If you wanted to increase your family's stock price for example... you'd need to get folks excited. You'd go out and borrow a ton of money and of course you'd finesse the reports to make it look like income. You'd buy fancy cars and a huge house... you'd wear all kinds of jewelry. You'd strut around in fancy clothes.

Folks would see your reports... see the money going out... and they'd get excited to. You'd have some buzz. Your stock would go up. This however, is exactly the opposite of what you should be doing to secure a long term financial future for your family.

Disagree?

Look at Ford. They borrowed and stole for a decade... aquiring Volvo and Jaguar... strutting out race car replicas that look great on a stage but turn blood red on a balance sheet... And where are they now?

They're right where your family would be if you had bought that million dollar house and the Hum-vee.

Broke... in the name of Hype.

Y'all Shoulda Known

By now the sportsmedia is all in a tissy over the shocking Super Bowl matchup. After all... for a week now we'd heard that Steve Smith was an unstoppable super human force, and Shaun Alexander was only good for piling up stats on the likes of San Fransisco.

Over at SI 1 guy picked Seattle... and precisely one guy picked Pittsburgh. It wasn't the same guy either.

Hopefully you boys are all happily countin' your money this morning. After all... I told you Pitt and Seattle were gonna win. I know I know... You heard all about Carolina's defense... and all about how Steve Smith single-handedly destroyed the Greatest Defense of All Time...

Well guess what?

Sometimes... no... most of the time the media ends up reporting what it is saying as fresh news. Someone writes a piece talking about Smith being awesome... someone else reads it... likes it... and writes his own.. and it snowballs... Until by the end of the week the game is pointless because everyone knows that no one can possibly beat a team with Steve Smith on it.

When you see this happening... bet the other way. Always bet the other way. Come people... this was insane. You've got the league MVP who just racked up 1900 yards rushing and set the new league record for touch downs... being drug through the mud like an average player. More than once I heard people say, "If Shaun Alexander is so good, why hasn't he been signed?"

Looking back... can you honestly say you're suprised? I mean... back in week 10... if I tell you that Seattle is gonna pound Carolina in the playoffs... totally shut down Steve Smith, and Shaun Alexander is gonna roll for 130 and 2 tds are you gonna think twice about it? No. Back then you'd've said... "yeah.. I can see that." The media just blew the Panthers up way to much.

As for the Broncos...

Listen carefully... They have a good ground game.... but its not that good. There is a team that can run on Pitt... but it's not the Broncos. Plus... Plummer... Plummer! I hate it for that dude. I really am a fan of his. I wanted him to pull it out. But what happened? Exactly what I said would happen. He puked all over himself in the big game. All year long Denver had gotten by without leaning to much on him... but yesterday they had to, and he crumbled. Until proven wrong, always bet against Plummer in championship games.

But to much time is going to be spent slamming Plummer when the real criminal yesterday was Denver's defense. Holy cow did they suck. They made Big Ben look like Dan Marino out there. The vaunted blitz package that the idiot Boomer Isiason claimed was the thickest in the NFL was exposed for the joke it is. Of course... it's not the most complicated in the NFL. That distinction belongs to the Ravens... or perhaps the Steelers... next year the Titans will be back in that mix as well.

But enough...

Count your money. This was the easiest championship round to predict that I can remember.

Starting Friday Off Right

Crom stops by to get things going: I understand that you are an expert in whiskies and bourbons, and I need a recommendation. Woodford Reserve and Maker's Mark are what I currently have in the cabinet and I want something of comparable quality - but something that is a different experience to drink. Something unusual. I figured that since it's Friday and I am going home by way of the liquor store, you are the man to ask.

Nate... Bourbon Expert... I like the sound of that...

Now... on to the answers... and yes... I mean plural.

Makers is and of itself an out of the ordinary bourbon. It shares method with Wild Turkey alone... a preculiar quirk in their barrell choice that gives them both a sweeter taste. Woodfords approaches classic bourbon taste. Now... something different... but still very good...

Do we have a budget?

If not then let me point you over to the Bookers. 128 proof... smooth... change your attitude heat. It if were scotch it would be 150 years old and 500 bucks an ounce. It ain't cheap though... you're dropping 40 bucks here.. minimum. For similar money you can snatch up some Blantons Original Single Barrel. 93 proof. Very very good... also... very different. It tastes like... Blantons.

In the $30 range things open up a bit... You have the 3 brothers of Bookers... Knob Creek, Bakers, and Basil Haydens. All bottled by Jim Beam and named after the legendary master distillers of their day. I love Basil Haydens... its got a peppery aroma and taste that come from the larger percentage of rye in its production. Its actually got twice what most bourbons have. Knob Creek and Basil Haydens are my official recommendations in this price range.

For $20 bucks or so I'm gonna send you off to find some Wild Turkey Russel's Reserve. One of the best buys in all of bourbon. Other options include Jim Beam Black (run away) and 1792 Reserve. 1792 doesn't have the nose that Woodfords does, but it's different, and its very very good. If you try Jim Beam Black... don't blame me. I warned you. The stuff sucks.

Did I miss anything boys?

Happy Birthday General Lee

"Private and public life are subject to the same rules. Truth and manliness are two qualities that will carry you through this world much better than policy or tact or expediency or other words that were devised to conceal a deviation from a straight line."

It's telling that today tact is seen as a beneficial attribute that all should aquire, while in the past it was quite the opposite. This is a quote that I hold dear. It contains wisdom that I desperately hope to pass on to my sons.

Anyone else have a favorite Lee story or quote?

Raisin' Em Up Right

Ya know... I love watchin' youngins play with their toys. Girls with their dolls... little boys with their cars or their action figures (which JAC maintains are dolls). But... anyone care to guess what Jeb's current favorites are?

Other little boys are fascinated with Rescue Heros. Not my boy. Nope. He plays with John Deere toys. Johnny Tractor... Barney Backhoe... Allie Gator.... Tony Track Tractor... and the best of all... Corey Combine.

Corey has replaced Thomas the Train in Jeb's bed. This is big stuff man.

For you uninitiated these are smallish personified versions of various John Deere implements. They have eyes and smile. Kids love 'em. Currently all of them but Corey are resting... lined up painstakingly... just so... beneath my vice cabinet... which the boy calls the barn.

I know of little boys who've learned their colors by associating them with various tractor brands. That is a good sign of a well raised boy.

Then again... My boy's only three... and he can point out the differences in a John Deere Model B, and a John Deere Model D. He knows nicknames like "Poppin' John", and "Spoker D" but he preffers to use the older name.. "Johnny Popper."

It's of course occured to me that its time to start tractor shoppin'. When discussing this with JAC the other day... he mentioned the new Farm Alls.

JAC clearly doesn't realize how much damage this would do to my son's perception of his father. It would be like... your dad tellin' you all about the f-350 he was fixin' to buy... and then seein' him drive up in a new minivan. I simply don't think I'd be the same in the boy's eyes. At least not for a long time.

I always dreamed of buyin' a Deere... and it looks like now I'm gonna go with the 27hp 790... but I always figured I'd start out with a Kubota. Hey.. its a lot of tractor for the money... but now?

Nope. Can't chance it. I'll push mow 6 acres if I have to. I'll save up to buy the Deere dammit. Seein' that boy's face when its delivered would be worth it.

Miner Update

There was a breif scare at the hospital on Friday when lots of folks thought the miner died. In fact the poor ol' boy next to him died... it was just some confusion on bed numbers.

For a real update... well... DrWho is handling his anesthesia tomarrow.

Its Official

I'd love to go into all manner of details... but I've been sippin' a little to much rose champagne for all that... see... we've been celebratin'!

We've been from the highest highs to the lowest lows since friday evenin'... but in the end... everything worked out for the best... and the best job... in the best town came through. The good ol' boy in charge decided to sweeten the pot... and in the end... you're better off goin' where the folks are really excited about gettin' ya, than goin' some place where they act like their doin' ya a favour by interviewin' ya.

So...

70 days...

See ya'll in....

THE GREAT STATE OF TENNESSEEE!!!!

Dickson to be specific. Throw one back y'all! It's a helluva night!

ATF

That no account PORCUS started without us boys! By the look of things he's been sippin' on that rum since plum near 4pm! Get on with it! We gots some catchin' up to do.

Actually I shouldn't say we.. I mean y'all. Oh... I'm drinkin', but I have to pace myself tonight. See mom and dad are on the road... on their way up here... and they got Jeb with 'em. They likely won't roll into town until 3am... so it's a marathon instead of a sprint. Who's with me?

I reckon I should start with the basics... and basic it is tonight... Amber Bock. Plain ol' dark lager... but tough to beat on a cool winters night.

On the other fronts I'm kickin' around the idea of building a 1911. Now bear with me here... I know it sounds like a hair-brained scheme... but at least hear me out.

I know a couple of good suppliers where I can get quality inexpensive 80% finished frames. What that means is, the frames aren't done yet. No names or serial numbers... and the slide grooves have not yet been cut. In order to finish the frame, those grooves must be cut. Now... that said, I would need to buy a mini mill... which can be had for under 700 bucks (Harbor Freight has a tempting little unit for $499.00) and a cutting tool which is sold by the same folks that sell the frames.

What do I get for my time and money?

Unmarked... undocumented 1911s. That's what. Best of all... it's perfectly legal...and if they turn out to be good guns.. I can always put my name on them, get an FFL out of my workshop, and call myself a custom 1911 maker.... like Les Baer used to be! Even if I never do that.... How many people can say they made their own 1911? The plan of course is to use a quality frame and slide, then go cheap... and then swap out parts one at a time and document the results... until I eventually come up with an excellent combination. What do ya think? Madness? I see it as a pretty productive hobby myself. Beats the hell outta playin' X-box. I'm still in the research phaze right now... as spare time is hard to come by... and I've already got much time occupied in the job search and planning of Nate and JAC's Excellent Adventure.

Speaking of that... that DR650 is looking better and better...

and smokin'! Damn! I forgot about my smokes! CRAP!

Our beloved Welldigger... who by the way is expected to come along on the adventure... and therefore alter the name... purchased some fine cigars for me. Champagne I believe... mild... but complex... way better than you'd expect for the money. If you're lookin' for a daily smoker that won't affect your driving that may be something to look at....

Now.. Crank up some Chris Ledoux dammit.

WE GOT A FIVE DOLLAR FINE FOR WHININ'
We tell you before you come in
So if it ain't on your mind
To have a good time,
well y'all come back and see us again!

Gregg's Hybrid Motorcycle

Turn up your speakers... Take big drink of whatever's handy... and click here.

Bitten

By now I'm sure you can see that the bug has JAC and I squarely by the balls. We are each at this very moment quite nearly obsessed with our next ride. While troopers from Arkansas to Texas are still talking about our last ride... we expect this one to be quite different.

See kids... I have this fetish... I see these old dirt roads and I always think... "wonder whats down there?" It eats at me. Its like an itch ya just can't scratch.

Well dammit I'm gonna do some scratchin'.

It was I that started JAC down the path of Dual Sport doom... and don't think for a second that I'm not royally pissed that he's the one that ended up with the KLR before I did.

Bastard. I swear... no one will stick a hot poker up your ass like kin.

but I digress... It seems this time we're takin' the roads less travelled... and that's fine with me. 'sept it leaves me in a quandry. I have no mount. JAC's in the same boat... but he'll just go grab another KLR and call it a day.

Me?

I love the KLR. Love it. I used to fantasize about blasting through the mud and muck, and jumping over harleys. But now? Now I find myself looking at two bikes...

The KLR: Those of you who also read Threeway know this bike. Its the John Deere of motorcycles. It is not the fastest... it just runs... forever... and nothing stops it. It has a following like no other vehicle ever produced. Anything you will face has been documented and overcome 1000 times... and someone makes a part that will prevent it. The US Marines ride KLRs. I don't know what else to say.

The XR 650L: Big Red. Truth be told, if you made every modification every KLR guru ever came up with, you'd have something approximating an XR650L.... minus 30 horses... which is about all the KLR makes in the first place. Saying the XR is more capable in the nasty dirt, is rather like saying my CBR 1000 is more capable on the interstate. Double the horse power... a real dirt suspension... 135mph top speed... and a charging system that will handle more than your average LCD clock. Sounds like a no brainer right? Not really. This nasty ol' whore stands 41 inches off the ground at the seat... meaning I'd need a step stool to mount her... sure once I got up there it'd be the ride of my life... but it wouldn't be safe by any stretch. This bitch is packin' some serious heat. If I can lower the thing considerably... I may be picking one up. It would need a new seat for sure. Word is it vibrates much less than the KLR, but gets worse gas milage... and that's not good, because where we're goin', milage matters.

See? Is that nasty or what?

Parole: T Minus 79 days

Ah.... but who's countin'?

I 'preciate y'all stoppin' by in my absence. Things are still insane, but I thought I'd better drop by and say howdy... maybe let y'all know what's goin'on.

We've spent the last several days in Tennessee interviewing and house shopping. I cannot express how much better this particular job is than the others offered. Its like winning the lottery. Its bloody well insane.

Not to mention its in middle Tennessee... in a great southron town that just happens to be world famous for the celebration of a dearly loved, if under appreciated, farm animal.

We knew we were gonna like this little town when we stopped for lunch at Stan's.... see... I picked up a menu and found that ol' Stan doesn't serve eggs. He serves Aigs. I also learned that Stan only smokes and serves left side hams... as it is an old-timers tale that when a pig scratches his right side, he's actually doing the Charleston... which is quite a workout... and when scratching his left side... he leisurely rubs a tree. Therefore the left side hams are far more tender.

I don't really think there is an ounce of truth in any of that... but the ham was damned tender... and it made me chuckle when I saw the lengthy explaination on the menu. DrWho proclaimed her mashed-taters the best resturaunt taters she'd ever had, and quite nearly compared them to her grand-mama's. This caused a hush to go over the room.

Just walkin' around that little town I had about 25 people wave and say howdy. Now ya see... that's the fundemental difference in the North and South. Its not just that the North is populated almost entirely of idiots... because... hell.... who doesn't like to keep a few morons around? No... the trouble with the north is.... everyone up here is continually pissed off. See? A happy-go-lucky moron is likeable... like Forrest Gump... he's fun to have around... But now... A pissed off idiot? Now see... that's just a bad combination.

Of course... it didn't hurt that it was 80 degrees and sunny... in January. That will change a man's attitude... let me tell ya.

Sunny... I've almost forgotten what that's like. See... You wouldn't believe it... but west Virginia is actually a completely different color that the South. Even when the sun's out... and there's not a cloud in the sky... it's still muted. It's not the bright yellow that I'm used to... there's something else there. The place always has a... a Matrix-like greyness to it. The further north you go in the state... the more noticable it becomes.

79 days.

79 days to freedom... When I shall be shed of this Godless hole once and for all.

Insert ATF Here

We're rollin' for Tennessee. Make yourself at home kids... light one up and sip some bourbon for ol' Nate. Maybe a white russian for good ol' DrWho.

Wild Turkey'll be fine thanks.

Digger... We'll see y'all directly.

Miner Update With A Twist

By now I'm sure y'all know that the miner has been sent to Pittsburgh for "oxygen therapy". I can shed some light on what's going on, and I think you'll find part of it pretty interesting. For example... they're treating him with voodoo medicine.

What's being used is Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy. Basicly they stick him in a chamber with pure oxygen and crank the pressure up. This is used in wound therapy... as well as treating divers with the bends.

Unfortunately...

Dr Scheinkestel published a study on Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy in 1999 which showed that patients who undergo this treatment actually do worse on in neuro psychological performance testing.

Not a good idea boys.

This whole thing has been a fiasco from the moment that miner got to Ruby. The physicians have been falling all over themselves for their brush with fame. Frankly its repugnant, and it has resulted in deficient care for other patients in the ICU and elsewhere.

Specifics can be provided if you like.

study

Interesting. Very Interesting.

Vince Young calls Steve McNair, "Big Papa."

Big Papa was in the stands at the Rose Bowl. He was hugging Mack Brown after the big win. He spent time with Vince before flyin' back to Nashville. Kinda makes ya think doesn't it?

Remember when McNair was lightin' it up at Alcorn State? He was a scrambling QB who had a wierd motion. Some folks thought he should be the first over-all choice... others thought he'd never amount to anything in the NFL.

Sound familiar?

The Titans, the Oilers back then, took a chance on McNair. They had a proven QB... so they benched him.. tore down his throwing motion... rebuilt it... and brought him up to NFL speed. They were patient with him. They developed a huge talent into an MVP level quarterback.

What's changed?

Jeff Fisher is still coaching the Titans... Floyd Reese is still the GM... they have two proven NFL quarterbacks...

Interesting indeed.

McNair as a player/coach.... Billy Volek the starting QB... Bringing Vince along with the young wide outs that did so well this year?

Yes... interesting.

to Go Pro Mr Young

Vince Young... If you're reading this... and God knows there is no reason for you to be... go pro.

Why?

The only reason an underclassmen should ever come out early... there's no where to go but down. You will be one of the top 3 picks in the draft... maybe the very first choice. That means its time to take what you've earned. Think of your family son. You've done enough for Texas. Time to think of your kids, your family, and yourself.

But there are other reasons on top of that.

This year, a class organization with a winning history needs a young stud QB... and their drafting 3rd. You have a chance son... to go play behind a great offensive line... to throw to a young, talented, excited group of wide recievers... with the best group of tight-ends in the league to bail you out when necessary... and to boot... you've got two NFL proven running backs with you. You can play for a coach and a GM that have been to the Superbowl.

Son... you can study up for year... behind your friend... Steve McNair.... and what can you learn from Mac-9?

You can learn one all important lesson... One lesson that will mean the difference between Super Bowl rings and legend.... and mere highlight real talent...

You can learn to not be Mike Vick.

They may play in your home town... but the Texans don't need you... they need offensive linemen and defense. Besides... do you really want to take David Carr's place behind the worst pass protection in football?

What are your choices? The Texans who don't need you... and might get you killed.... New Orleans? Who don't even know where they are playin' their home games?The Saints? Who look like a franchise that has no idea where its going?

Or do you want to go to the Titans?

Reggie got his Heisman... you got your ring.

Let Reggie get is number 1 overall pick....

You...

You put on that two-tone blue... and get another ring.

A Little Clearer Picture

If you're unfortunate enough to be trying to keep up with this story via the mainstream media you probably find yourself furious. You're probably mad about the way the company stuck the families of the miners off in that church and kept them in the dark.

Well... straight from the horses mouth... how about the real story.

Governor Joe Manchin was actually at the church with the family, and he was acting to keep the families up to date. He was there. He was personally making sure the families were getting updates. He was continually in radio contact with the command center. When there was news, it was relayed from the command center to him, and he told the families.

It was a good system, and it was working.

The problem happened around midnight, when Joe was hanging out in the church waiting with everyone else, and all the sudden a cheer goes up. He had a trooper with him, and he asked what was going on. He asked if the trooper had gotten a call. No call had come from the command center. ICG hadn't told anyone anything.

Upon investigating they found that someone (a mine foreman) had called a family he knew at the church and gave them the false information.

Red flags went up. Joe went up to the command center right around midnight to verify the info. When he got there, even the command center was jubilent. It wasn't for another half-an-hour before they learned that all something was inaccurate.

When they found out something was wrong, they decided to keep quiet until they knew for sure exactly what was going on. They didn't know if they had 1 alive... or 12 alive... or 10... or 5... they didn't know. All they knew was it wasn't 12.

As for the lag... it was chaos. They were more concerned with getting medical equipment and personnel down there. There was huge delay due to all the changing of the teams.

Another aspect of this that is being over looked is that calls were made from the command center to the church clergy to say that something was wrong.

The calls were made. Did it take a long time to figure out what was going on? yeah. It did. They were 2 miles deep into a mountain for crying out loud. ICG had a responsible system setup that was working and was keeping the families informed. They were sporatic with their press releases, but frankly I can't blame them. They were more conserned about the miners and the families.

"We Found Them"

The rescuers announced that in a radio communication to the command center. Someone over heard that message... mininterprated it to mean "we found them alive". Then took it upon themselves to call a family they knew at the church. It was the kindergarten rumor game at the worst possible time. Most places are reporting that the families didn't find out for three hours. In fact it was two, and there were rumors circulating around as little as 30-minutes after the initial news.

The families are beside themselves and should be. They're blaming the company.

There's a problem though.

The company didn't tell them, an individual did. The company never told anyone anything. People keep asking what took the company so long to correct the error. I can shed a little light... for one thing the folks in the command center had no idea that the families had been told anything. They hadn't told anyone anything... they were playin' it close to the vest. The local word is a lot of time past before they had any idea that the media was tellin' everyone about a miracle.

Everyone is gonna point a lot of fingers... but the fact is those boys were riskin' their lives tryin' to get to those miners, and they got there in time to save one of them. That's a miracle people. They got someone out of that hell alive.

They didn't miss by much. With better equipment they may have gotten there sooner. That's where folks need to be looking. Do we have the best of the best?

I'll wager we do. But we need to take a hard look at it.

Here in West Virginia its all about blaming the company. Any company... for anything... for everything. In this case... I have doubts about the validity of that blame today.

***Update***

The youngest miner is the one that survived. He's 27-years old and has been mining for 3 years. He's at the hospital here in Morgantown and word is there is no carbon-monoxide in his blood. They're having a press conference about his condition here in a few minutes. A press conference... Hrm... Can someone explain how that's not a HIPPA violation? Patient confidentiality and all that?

The Mining Culture

One of the great disappointments of Morgantown has been the way it insulates itself from west Virginia. The town and its people think they are better than west Virginia, and they'd really rather not be associated with the state at all. In conversation, rather than callin' someone a redreck... they'll scrunch up their nose... shake their heads and mutter something about those born in the southern part of the state.

Of course, if you're from Morgantown... everything is the southern part of the state, and everyone in the state is a redneck but you. They want to be New York City so bad they can't see straight.

I've always been fascinated by mines and mining. Bein' born and raised in western Kentucky, my ideas of what's done are pretty different though. See... where I'm from coal mining is strip mining. You just pull out the drag-lines and relocate the earth. That's not how its done up here. Up here its digging. It's tunnels. It's ventilation.

Them what still do the work, and they're damned few, are hard men. They're tough sum-bitches with gravel in their guts. They're mountain folk... which means they ain't really yankees. They're just mountain. I don't care if you're in east tennessee, west north carolina... southern west Virginia, or western Virginia... Hell I don't care if you're from the Adarondaks. Mountain folks are different. The rest of the world is remote and largely insignificant. Laws passed in Charleston or Nashville are mere suggestions to be chuckled about while you're suckin' down a pepparoni roll.

I'd have loved to get to meet some of them ol' boys. I would been proud to hunt with 'em, or share a beer with 'em in some little low rent cliffside bar. Instead I got stuck in high-brow Morgantown.

They found a body down mine. But there's still reason to hope. So say a prayer for them that live... and say a prayer for them that don't.

There's an old miner's song that's appropriate. Not as fancy as You'll Never Leave Harlan Alive. Not as commercial either. But it was written by a crotchety old bastard of a miner, and it ought to be remembered:

Only A Miner

Well a miner has gone to make heaven
his home,

His wife and dear children he left here
alone.

Let men of the union, from this rank
and file

Put an arm of protection around this
dear child.

He is only a miner, was killed
underground.

He is only a miner, and one more is
gone.

Why he was taken, nobody can tell.
His mining is over--poor miner,
farewell.

He leaves his companion and little
ones too,

To earn their own living as all miners do,
Shut off from daylight and those that
he loves.
The boulder that crushed him came
down from above.

He is only a miner, was killed
underground.
He is only a miner, and one more is
gone.
Why he was taken, nobody can tell.

His mining is over--poor miner,
farewell.
His mining is over--dear brother,
farewell.

Mainstream Media Incompetence

I swear... I don't understand how FoxNewsCnnMSNBC can blow stuff this badly so often. This mining accident certainly puts things into perspective.

For example... right now we have foxnews twisting their hands and asking the tough questions... why did it take them 11-hours to get the first rescuers into the mine? Why was the first 911 call made 2 hours after the incident?

Well gawawlee... I wonder...

The rest of the country maybe dumb struck by these things... but the local folks aren't... and I'll bet anyone who knows anything about mining isn't either. First of all the rescue crews and equipment are not everywhere at once. The first step is always rounding up the team. It happens fast, but it still takes time.

After that they have to assess the situation. Sometimes the mine is just not safe enough to enter. You don't kill off a highly trained rescue team trying to save some guys who're already dead. Even still... they were bustin' their asses all day yesterday tryin' to figure out what they could do, but the gas levels in the mine were just to damned high.

These boys are 2 miles into the mine... some 270 feet deep. The rescue workers do carry respirators... but they're only good for 7-hours. In other words... you have to get in, and out in that time.. or you're toast. They couldn't do it. They'd have died trying. It took 11-hours for the gas levels to get down to where the rescue workers could go... and they've been haulin' ass ever since.

Last check they were well over 1.5 miles in.

There have also been rampant reports of fallen debris blocking the rescuers. This is also totally untrue. What's goin' on is simple... the trapped miners have done, or are doing what they were trained to do. They have carbon monoxide testers with them. They are using them. When they find carbon monoxide at dangerous levels, they seal off that area, and retreat to fresh air.

If you can find a local west virginia talkradio station.. turn it on for updates. Otherwise, don't believe a damned thing you hear on TV. These people have no clue.

Are the boys down there alive? We don't have a clue. It's a big place down there, plus they're trained to barricade themselves in. This ain't a rookie crew either. Some of those men have 30 years mining experience.

We'll know when we know.

Until then, take everything ya hear with a grain of salt.

Slackers...

Who knows how man thousands of New Yorkers... all gathered out in the open... Not an airliner to be found.

Am I the only one who really doesn't give a rat's ass about a ball dropping in New York City? Was it necessary for every station to be there? What's wrong with DC? Or Miami? Or Atlanta?

It all just adds to the perception that New York City is the only thing that matters in America. As I was watching that ball drop I just kept thinking... wow... what a target of opertunity. Think of the panic.... the stampede.... the slaughter that just 1 or 2 explosions would've caused.

I swear... ragheads never get anything right.

New Years

What a bizarre year it's been. This time last year... little Eli was still cookin'. Now he's crawlin' around and tryin' to climb the stairs. Julie's mom and I weren't even on speaking terms... Now we're gettin' on pretty well. Joy had just made it back from Colombia... I didn't have any idea where we were moving to...

Well ok... so not everything has changed that much.

Ya know... we're actually boxing up things... packing. I talked to a mover to get a quote... and it wasn't until about 20 minutes into the conversation that it dawned on me that I had no idea where to tell her we're moving.

We've got to buy a house... a nicer house than we've ever had before... but we don't know where to shop for one.

I guess that really sums up 2005 for us... in spite of everything that's happened... Eli's arrival... dear friends married off... dear friends breeding yet again... family trials... family triumphs... it's been a year dominated by this huge question... this yet-unsolved mystery. It colors everything. Sometimes in the fore... always in the background.

But...

It's 8:37 on New Year's Eve. All of the questions of 2005 shall be answered in 2006. Indeed... everything Julie and I have fought for... since... God... since forever... it all pays off in 2006.

I hope you are all havin' a ball tonight. Tossing back some champagne with friends and loved ones. Spacebunny... did that raisin trick work? And I do mean all of you... Even you Waterboy... ya yankee bastard. And Jamie.... I know its been 2006 for 8 hours down there.. but raise on anyway mate... it's a good excuse right? I hope you've all enjoyed the blog as much as I've enjoyed having you here. So often bloggers write about how they don't care if they have readers or not. I do. I love havin' y'all around, and honestly, if ya weren't here I wouldn't do it. Thanks for bein' here y'all. I appreciate every damned one of you.

So... this one last night in 2005 I spend here in Morgantown... Not alone... but certainly by myself. One corona for now... one for midnight. The boys are tucked away.... Julie is pulling another 24-hour shift...

But if by chance she should get to read this tonight...

Darlin'... Here's to you kid... and here's to 2006...

The first year of the rest of our lives.

ATF

Life is good. I've got a mild buzz... fresh from a nice glass of 1792... Hey... 10oz. of 100 proof bourbon on a mostly empty stomach will do that for ya! I'm currently clearin' the pallet with a favorite snack... some fine cheddar dipped in spicy mustard.

2 questions about that... What company produces "Hellagood" products... and why are they so damned good? and.. Why is it that Kroger's spicey mustard is so much better than everyone elses?

But I digress.

It's a fine day. Our boy Will has come to his senses and decided to disavow himself of that plastic sissy pistol. He lit up the 10-ring with a Kimber lastnight and has vowed to purchase a 1911. One can only hope he has the good sense to go buy a Springfield. I mean come on... if he liked the Kimber that much... imagine what he'll think when he shoots a real 1911.

I talked to him on the phone lastnight actually... on his way back from the range... and he asked a good question.

Why Springfield?

I didn't give the best answer lastnight... but after some thought... it really boils down to 2 reasons.

1) Accuracy. Gun after gun. Back to back to back to back... with several loads from several different manufactures... the average groups of the Springfields will always be the smallest. Smaller than Kimber. Smaller than Para. Smaller than Colt. The initial test of the Taurus are impressive, but I am skeptical. I wanna see it go head to head with the Springfield before I'll really buy into the hype.

2) Waranty. Until Taurus showed up, no other manufacturer offered a guarantee that was even close to Springfield's. Their customer service has an excellent record. This is less important to some people, but to me... this means a lot. That's why Taurus and Springfield are so high on my list. Both have been known to throw in free work when they have a weapon sent back... just to make sure you're completely happy.

But enough...

On to the Booze!

Mutly tried some Makers Mark! He was impressed. Another scotch drinker broadening his horizons. It's a great day. But Mutly... dear man... if you liked that... and I know you did... oh sir... you have so much to explore. Wait until you try Bookers... 126 proof smooth sweet heat. Or Woodford's Reserve... or perhaps God's Own Whiskey.... Wild Turkey Rare Breed. Any of you interested in bourbon history or general facts.. do a site specific search of the bloggerblaster for the word "bourbon" and I'm sure you'll learn all you need to know.

Oh... and Jamie... you around? or are ya hiding under your bed again? Drink up you pussy. No beer either. Find something 80 proof or up. You sissy-mary.

Ok kids... Belly up to the bar! What'll it be?

Californians are Pussies



I don't know how else to say it. But when a pack of chihuahuas sends a cop to the hospital... you know you're either in California or France. Since the fella was only in the hospital for a couple hours... must be California.

How embarassing.

Your Birthdate:

You are a natural born leader, even if those leadership talents haven't been developed yet. You have the power and self confidence to succeed in life, and your power grows daily. Besides power, you also have a great deal of creativity that enables you to innovate instead of fail. You are a visionary, seeing the big picture instead of all of the trivial little details. Your strength: Your supreme genius Your weakness: Your inappropriate sensitivity Your power color: Gold Your power symbol: Star Your power month: January

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

What Can I say? I'm the man.

Anyone Else Drinkin' Tonight?

Will? Jamie? How bout it boys? I know it's not friday here in the states... but to hell with it. I'm sippin' some 1792 and feelin' pretty good about life.

Blondage? Kristy? Spacebunny?

Anyone care to join me?

Factoid That May Disturb Only Me

The round-eye brunette in Big Trouble in Little China is played by one of the chicks from Sex in the City.

***BOGGLE***

Dream Trip

I don't know if I'll ever be able to work this out... but I have a dream...

I want to get some buddies... and ride the Alaskan Highway... all the way to Fairbanks... up the Dalton Highway... past the Gates of the Arctic... way up to the Arctic Circle.

Longitude 66 degrees 33 minutes.

It's 4005 miles from Murfreesboro, which is our standard start point, to Fairbanks... then another few hundred up the gravel Dalton Highway.

The alternative is to jump off the Alaskan Highway at the Yukon Highway, and take it to the Demptster Highway... which is another gravel road. We could take it all the way to Inuvik.

I tend to lean toward Dalton in Alaska. Needless to say... this would be an insane trip. First of all we'd need bikes that were capable of such a thing. These bikes aren't really hard to find. They are generally recognizable by the "BMW" on the tank... and they tend to look something like this:

Is it pretty? No. But it is a tank. It's built for anything. I know stories of men that have ridden these bikes up the Dempster Highway to the Arctic Circle, then all the way down through Central and South America... all on the same trip.

Obviously we'd be going in July... I'm psycho... but not that psycho. I shudder to think how long this trip would take... Right now.. I'm guessing around 2 full weeks... and could take a month. The trip to Fairbanks alone will take at least 4 days... and will probably take 6. Assuming we take our time... and rolling up a gravel road to the Arctic Circle... I suspect we will be taking our time... I figure another 4 days actually up there. Pretty soon you see why I say we will need 3 weeks or more.

Think of the provisions we'll need to take... man... JAC already has a .454 casull.. I'll need to pick up one of my own... plus I'll take a couple other side arms... my .357 tracker... the .40... maybe a couple lighter weapons too. Probably at least 1 carbine.

Oh those Canadian border boys will love us.

I guess part of this is the challenge. Fact is I love to ride... and I love to explore... and this is the ultimate way to do both.

Who wants to come along?

SitRep:

39.629N
-79.956W

17:43

54F

Call of Duty 2 rules.

10-7

And Now For Something Completely Different...

This obviously didn't happen. After all... Guns are illegal in Austrailia. Right mate?

And of course we'll be told how this sort of thing is so rare... yet strangely... I am always able to find something to post when I get a hankering to point out what commie's they are down under.

Commonwealth.... Marx would love that name. No doubt he used the term himself... in some impressive run-out sentence in this manifesto or that...

Bah.

Military Truisms and Sayings

Hey.. I'm kinda in a groove today... or perhaps a rut.



"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit."- Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.

"Aim towards the Enemy."- Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher

"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.- U.S. Marine Corps

"Cluster bombing from B-52s are very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground."- USAF Ammo Troop

"If the enemy is in range, so are you."- Infantry Journal

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed."- U.S. Air Force Manual

"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons."- General Macarthur

"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo."- Infantry Journal

"You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me."- U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.

"Tracers work both ways."- U.S. Army Ordnance

"Five second fuses only last three seconds."- Infantry Journal

"Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything."- U.S. Navy Swabbie

"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."- David Hackworth

"If your attack is going too well, your walking into an ambush."- Infantry Journal

"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection."- Joe Gay

"Any ship can be a minesweeper ... once."- Anonymous

"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do."- Unknown Marine Recruit

"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you."- Your Buddies

"If you see a bomb technician running, follow him."- USAF Ammo Troop

"Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death ... I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."- At the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base Kadena, Japan (I included this twice. I like this.)

"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3."- Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)

"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."

"Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky."
- From an old carrier sailor

"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe."

I'm particularly fond of anything that cuts on helicopters... as they are as prone to uselessness as Ted Kennedy... and about as dangerous.

Bad Joke Wednesday: The Pun Edition

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well, It's Not Unusual."

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!".

16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

How about some some fun facts?

1. Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton.
2. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper.
3. The dot over the letter i is called a "tittle"
4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.
5. Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller.
6. 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.
7. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.(See? Yankee moron)
8. The 'spot' on 7UP comes from its inventor, who had red eyes. He was albino.
9. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents, daily.
10. Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.
11. Chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system; a few ounces will kill a small sized dog.
12. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark's stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.
13. Most lipstick contains fish scales (mmm tasty).
14. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.
15. Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine.
16. Upper and lower case letters are named 'upper' and 'lower' because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the 'upper case' letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the smaller, 'lower case' letters.
17. Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time ... hence, multi-tasking was invented.
18. At the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base in Kadena, Japan these words are inscribed: "Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death ... I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."

And... just to top off the most awesomest Bad Joke Wednesday Ever... I offer: The Difference Between Potentially... and Realistically:

"When a young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?"The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars." "Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that."

So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!" The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?!?!?! " The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?"

The boy pondered the answers for a few days, then went back to his dad.His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?"The boy replied, "Yes... Potentially, you and I are sitting on Three Million Dollars..............but Realistically...


we're living with two Sluts and a Queer.

Media Bias?

I offer for your amusement two of the most asinine quotes of the year. Both of course involve Brian Williams. Enjoy:

Andrea Mitchell: "It is an iconic picture: American hostages, hands bound and blindfolded, being paraded outside the U.S. embassy in Tehran by their captors. But has one of those student radicals now become Iran’s newly elected President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad?...Tonight, U.S. intelligence officials say that they will continue to study this, but may never have definitive proof of what the role was of Iran’s new president, Brian."
Brian Williams: "Andrea, what would it all matter if proven true? Someone brought up today the first several U.S. Presidents were certainly revolutionaries and might have been called terrorists at the time by the British Crown, after all."
Mitchell: "Indeed, Brian."— NBC Nightly News, June 30.

Brian Williams: "You just told me the story about one photograph from the war that always kind of catches you, the Japanese soldier returning to his city that’s been destroyed. Do you have remorse for what happened? How do you deal with that in your mind?"
Enola Gay navigator "Dutch" Van Kirk: "No, I do not have remorse! I pity the people who were there. I always think of it, Brian, as being, the dropping of the atom bomb was an act of war to end a war."
— Exchange as the two stood next to the plane at the Smithsonian’s new National Air and Space annex near Dulles airport, in a segment on the 60th anniversary of the dropping of the first atomic bomb on Hiroshima, Japan, NBC Nightly News, August 5.

I for one cannot imagine sitting in my living room and not throwing something at the tv. I swear... if it were not such an abysmal place I would consider driving to New York to set Brian Williams on fire. But then... The man lives in New York. Punishment enough.

The Coolest Ever...

Characters define movies... and often... guns define characters. Dirty Harry's .44mag... Agent Smith's Desert Eagle... Laura Croft's HK's... Bond's PPK.

But none stand out like these...



Caster Troy's 1911's. Look at them. The only golden guns I've ever seen that don't look negro. Without question... these are the most awesome weapons I've ever seen in any film...

I triple dog dare you to disagree.

But who made them? One off customs weren't they?

HA! No. No they were not. These my friends... are Springfield Armory Custom Distinguished Limited (PC9404) 1911's.

Springfield boys. Springfield.

Anesthesia Antics

It's a little known fact that I actually talked my wife into going into anesthesia. That's not to say that I am more interested in it than she is... far from it. She loves her job. It's just that I am also very interested in it. These people stop and start hearts regularly... on purpose... and while in the pantheon of modern medicine that is relatively mundane.. for me... it's never really lost its cool factor.

The history of anesthesia is also something that we really enjoy. Honestly these are strange birds... and their ways never cease to amuse... Plus there is glorius contraversy. For example... The matter of the first anesthesia ever performed isn't even agreed on. Some textbooks claim a yankee was the first because he was the first to document his practice... while of course... the doing is far more important than the documenting... so other textbooks point to a God Fearing Southron who used ether decades earlier.

In this vein I offer you a taste of medical history... The account of the first experiments with spinal anesthesia... using cocaine... in 1890.

"Bier and Hildebrandt gave each other spinal anesthesia through injections of cocaine solution into the lower (lumbar) areas of their backs; the aim was to block the nerves in the lower part of the body. They took careful notes of the experience. The initial thrust of the needle caused no pain beyond the usual jab and a short, mild stabbing sensation in one leg. Bier felt a mild tugging sensation when Hildebrandt began the injection. But Hildebrandt was nervous, and much of the solution trickled down Bier’s back. They waited ten minutes before Hildebrandt pricked Bier’s thigh with a pin. It hurt: not enough cocaine had penetrated the spine.

When the more experienced Bier injected the solution into Hildebrandt’s back just a few drops escaped. Within seven minutes Hildebrandt could feel pinpricks only as pressure; tickling of the sole of the foot hardly bothered him. A minute later Bier drew a large curved needle through the skin of Hildebrandt’s thigh. Again his assistant sensed no pain. Two minutes later Bier thrust a needle into Hildebrandt’s thigh bone; he felt nothing. Bier squeezed Hildebrandt’s skin between the teeth of a hooked forceps. Hildebrandt perceived the pinching only as pressure.

Thirteen minutes after the spinal injection, Bier put the lighted end of his cigar on Hildebrandt’s legs. The burn caused no pain. Hard hammer blows against his shins were painless. On and on, Bier battered Hildebrandt. Pulling out pubic hair felt like lifting a skin fold, whereas plucking hairs from the chest was painful. Strong pressure and tugging on Hildebrandt’s testicles produced no sensation.

It took forty-five minutes for the effect of the drug to wear off and normal sensitivity to return.
The two doctors dined together that evening, drinking wine and smoking several cigars. They went to bed about eleven o’clock. Bier, whose body had absorbed almost no cocaine, slept soundly and awoke refreshed. When he finished his customary morning stroll, he found he had a slight headache.

At the clinic he found Hildebrandt looking wan; he had not slept and was able to stand only with great effort. Later that morning Hildebrandt had a severe headache, which may have been due to a hangover or to the spinal injection, followed by an attack of vomiting. By mid-afternoon he was forced to go to bed. Although still suffering from a headache, he returned to work the next day." (Altman)

Obviously I added the emphasis.

Tugging. On. The. Testicles.

Oh my.

ATF!

Yes... I know its a little early... but this way we can at least attempt to keep up with Jamie. So let's get this rollin' boys.

Let us begin where we always begin... ATF is all about the booze. Tonight? Come on... It's Christmas Eve Eve. That means hot buttered rum.... or bourbon... either way! More likely both.. and in fact... there's liable to be some champagne involved. After all we now are down to double-digit days until we move back to God's Country. Indeed we have much to celebrate. bourbon wise I'm in a bit of a rut these days... It's pretty much 1792 and Bookers. Well... what can I say? It's not a bad rut... in fact... a rut like this is really better described as a groove.

And speakin' of groove... what are y'all playin' these days? I myself have been playin' a lot of Van Sant, along with my standard Cross Canadian Ragweed and Jason Boland... Charlie Robinson of course... the obligatory Kris Kristofferson and 5 Dollar Fine for Whining. When I'm drummin though its all Rush... Creed... GnR and even some Nickleback... I'm ashamed to admit that I've developed a fetish for playing set along with stuff like Bach's Little Fugue and Drum Corp. If I can ever work out the midi stuff I'll record some of it and post it here.. Jamie will crack up.

Crackin' up? Who'm I kiddin'.... there's no way to segway from that to guns.. but guns is up... I've now read two reviews that claim the new Taurus 1911 will shoot 2 inch groups at 50 yards... and one claimed that it averaged 2.25 inch groups at 50 yards through 6 kinds of ammo. That's impressive boys. It's more impressive when you figure that you can pick one of these up for under 500 bucks. I should re-word that.... it's not impressive. It's insane. Taurus claims "you get what you pay for" is out-dated thinking. Think of bottled water they says. 500 bucks is just what a smart manufacturer should make a 1911 for. Consider that the gun is made top-to-bottom in-house... in what amounts to a factory custom shop environment, and you see how they saved money... also consider that there are no "stock 1911" parts in this gun. Everything is made by Taurus on site. To my knowledge no one else but Springfield does that.

What are my two favorite pistol manufacturers again? Now if we can just get Savage to bring back the 99 I'll be in hog heaven.

Ok y'all... I gots some friends comin' over to drink with.. We're gonna heat up some steaks on the grill... I say "heat up" because the word cook implies a level of doness that these shall never reach. Good times y'all. Good times.

So standard posting rules apply... What ya drinkin'? What ya smokin? Who ya drinkin' and smokin' with, and what're ya carryin?

Oh yeah.. and just for fun... before I go... how about a teaser for the new Harem?



Huge points to anyone who guesses who these little cuties are... and even more points to anyone who guesses which one of them also came through with far more.... revealing shots.

Boys... It's hard damned work bein' this damned good.

Fun With a Grease Fire

It's amazing how fast things can go to shit for a stay-at-home dad. Seriously. You throw two hotdogs on the grill... then you take the baby off to change his diaper... then the 3-year old has to go potty... then you get caught up watching the lastest sportcenter segment on some coach's kid offing himself...

The next thing you know.. that three-year old is pulling on your hand saying, "Daddy! Daddy! Get Jeb's stool! Jeb up! Jeb watch fire!"

Huh? What fire? FIRE!

So of course ya run in to the kitchen and blow on the fire a few times while you determine if it's bad enough to warrant getting out the extinguisher... luckily it's not that bad and it goes out pretty easily.

I say it wasn't that bad... check the results.


I'd say it got a little hot... wouldn't you?



As you can see the steel bars of the grill actually melted complete through in several places. Oddly, the hotdogs weren't nearly as maimed as you would've expected. I really don't understand it. I've cooked big thick steaks longer than this... and had several grease fires that were far worse... but nothing ever did this kind of damage.

Ah well.. no harm no foul. The smoke detectors didn't even go off... though I confess at this point I'm going to change the batteries to be sure. The boys loved it... I guess that's what matters.

T Minus 100 Days

What? You thought I wasn't keeping a running count? In a mere 100 days we shall be freed from this God forsaken yankee infested Hell. We shall return to the sweet green lands of the South, where will live like decent God fearing folk,. Where we shall grow old, and one day tell our grand-children nitemarish tales of our experiences in the woeful lands of the yankee.

The trouble is... we still don't know exactly where in the South we'll be living... At this point its been narrowed down to Georgia... way north of Atlanta... or way south of Atlanta... then there are a few places in middle Tennessee that are interested as well. It's changed so much that honestly I feel like I'm better off just not talking about it. I'm pretty sure my family feels like they're gettin' jerked around like a yo-yo. At least 3 or 4 times we've been pretty certain sure we new where we were goin'... and so far something has come up that totally changed our plans. For a good 2-weeks we knew we were goin' to this little town west of Nashville... then when the contract arrived it looked nothing like what we'd agreed to, and contained more than a few seriously questionable and highly irregular clauses. No thanks.

Ah... but today is not a day to fret. No no... today is a day of joy... for the today we see clearly our golden parole.

But 100 days... but 100 days... but 100 days...

to freedom.

BJW!

Before we get started... I will share a cautionary tale on walkie-talkie cell phones. Now.. if you don't have one of these things you probably think it's a useless feature. You think you hit a button and a beep goes off... and then the person has to answer.

This is not true. They really do work like walkie-talkies. There is no answering.

For those of us with devious minds... this can be a highly amusing feature. Be advised... the names and setting in the following tale have all been changed to protect the guilty and incriminate the innocent and otherwise uninvolved...

Begin.

It should be noted that JAC works in a very large manufacturing facility where he is a mechanic. These are rough and ready types with thick skin... and the fact is... they love takin' shots at each other. Providing these mechanics walkie-talkie cell phones is just begging for trouble. Like that day...

JAC found himself in the john... droppin' off a rather healthy crap. I'm sure you can imagine... there he his... squattin there... trying to relax... pants around his ankles... and his phone starts talking.

"OOOHHH! YEAH!! HMMMMFF!! Yeah... Yeah.. OHH MY GAWD It's so deep... so DEEEP... OHH! OHHHH!"

Apparently the bathroom was full as it could be... as laughter was heard for miles... I mean everyone at that whole plant must've decided to take a crap at the same time.

"Damn JAC! Who you got in there?"

There's poor JAC scramblin' to get to his pants... but you know ya just can't reach down there... you can only pinch one off so fast without strainin' somthing.. in the mean time..

"OH! Oh I love it! I love the cock! YEAAHHH!!"

By the time JAC got his ummm.. ahem.. shit together.. composed himself and exited the bathroom a crowd had gathered outside.. probably 15 guys out there hootin' and hollerin'.... clappin and cheerin'.


I sincerely hope that story inspires someone here to abuse some poor unsuspecting soul in a similar fashion. Consider it a public service announcement. On with the jokes!

- What's white, lumpy, and extremely dangerous?
Shark infested mashed potatoes.

- What do you get when you cross a lawyer with the Godfather?
An offer you can't understand.

- An astronomer looks at the sky through a telescope, searching for something. After a while he stands up, looks to the heavens, and yells, "You cannot be Sirius!"

-Hailstorm
A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun.He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?"The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.The roommate rolled her eyes and said,

"Duh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first."

- Sheldon Cohen

A man walks to 5th Ave. & 42nd St. in New York City during a downpour and somehow manages to get a taxi immediately. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Sheldon." "Who?" "Sheldon Cohen. There's a guy who did everything right. Like my cab being vacant during a rainstorm. It would have happened like that for Sheldon every single time." "Well, no one is perfect. There are always a few clouds over everybody", stated the passenger. "Not Sheldon," said the cabbie. "He was a terrific athlete. He could have gone on the pro tour in tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star. Handsome and sophisticated, more than Cary Grant. He had a better body than Arnold in his prime. He was something!"Somehow Sheldon just knew exactly how to make women happy," the cabbie continued. "He had a memory like a computer. Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which fork to eat with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole neighbourhood blacks out." "Wow, incredible , no wonder you remember him!" said the passenger."Well, I never actually met Sheldon," admitted the cabbie."Then how do you know so much about him?" asked the passenger.

"After he died, I married his wife."

A Christmas Carol


Smashing through the snow,
in a brand new blue Hum-Vee.
Smashing through the drifts.
Shouting out Yipee!

Right up the powerline,
we're goin' 45,
through 2-feet of snow,
and we're still in over-drive!


Ok... ok... sorry... I won't abuse you with any more of that... But hopefully you get the picture. Ol' Nate had some fun lastnight. Sure... it was 10pm and 5 degrees... but hell... what better time to take out the new H1. That's H1... not that soccer mom van H-2 thing... sure it looks cool.. but it don't roll like this bad boy. Don't hyper-ventilate boys... its not mine. Curt picked one up... for his wife.

We headed up to Coopers Rock State Forest last night and commenced to raisin' 7 kinds of hell. There are these old cow-path fire roads that run all through it.. and we just blasting down them. Sure... the word is there are more capable off-road vehicles... but I've now gone up a 60 degree incline in 2 feet of snow. Have you?

The thing is a tank. Seriously. You just don't even worry about hitting these huge ruts... these 3-foot piles of dirt, rock, and snow... you just hit them and go on. We weren't even slowing down.

The off-road driving I have done is crawling. Ya put the truck in 4-low-lock and take your foot off the gas. The truck rolls on and nothing in the world will stop it. That's been the total of my playing off road.

With this thing? It's totally different. You just go. We only locked the differential for one particularly insane stretch that had large ominous warning signs all around... even still... the Hum-Vee ate it all up and begged for more.

I feel like I've been bull-riding. Hey... when ya get a 7000 pound truck airborn... the impact tends to be a little rough... and we did it more than once.

So what do I think of the Hum-Vee?

We spent the better part of 3 hours destroying terrain that can best be described as unfit for motorized travel. She didn't flinch. She just stomped, pounded, and blasted her way through it all.

It's a tank with 4 tires. As huge as it is... we were rolling down these little cuts with no problem... largely because the beast's turning radius is a tight tight 26 feet. Unbelievable.

Spacebunny Loves Me

Seriously. Look at the cool little hat she knitted for Eli.















Now... Do any of you have official Spacebunny produced... umm... Products? I thought not. Sure... you think because she hangs out at your blogs that she loves ya... but ask yourself... Has she done anything to keep your baby warm? And I should point out.... this is just one of the two hats she made for little Eli.

Little Eli... Those two words just don't go together... look at the boy... He's wearin' 12 month clothes.. and he's just 9 months.. 96th percentile in weight and hieght.

We call him Hoss.

Man.. he's into everything he's big enough for.. and then some. He's crawlin' a hundred miles an hour... he's trying to talk... more like yellin' though.. "DA DA DA DA DA DA DA!"

So much fun.

Y'all should have one.

The Harem Returns

Merry Christmas! After many requests... we at the Bloggerblaster have decided to revive the Harem. Ladies... those of you who read here are humbly requested to submit a pic, and gain honourary membership into the Harem. The pictures from the previous harem are lost... so those of you who sent them in, please send more.

Spacebunny... if you would be so kind.. something in a baseball hat... and maybe that blue bikini Vox keeps refering to? Ah well.. a man can hope... Jeanne... Throw on some socks and a Cowboys Jersey darlin'... grown men will gawk... what could be better?

How about the newly enhanced Kristy? oh yes.. she will be there... DJ... and maybe some new faces? Or at least parts? How about it Blondage? LL? We let v-twin girls in the harem too... though we confess.. we perfer our v-twins in bikes with "Aprilia" on the tank.

As always.. naughty or otherwise indecent pics will be appreciated and jealously guarded... but never posted. Well.. one might be posted... but only because she's smokin' hot and I don't know who she is... so I can't be busted for outing her... right? Hey... I'm not the first blogger to get a naked self-pic from an anonymous hot female fan right?

DrWho will of course be gracing the new Harem as well... oooo.. maybe I can get her to pose in my new Titans jersey.... excellent!

Email away ladies.

Treason

Go... and read the President's own words:

"This authorization is a vital tool in our war against the terrorists. It is critical to saving American lives. The American people expect me to do everything in my power, under our laws and Constitution, to protect them and their civil liberties and that is exactly what I will continue to do as long as I am president of the United States," Bush said.

Angry members of Congress have demanded an explanation of the program, first revealed in Friday's New York Times and whether the monitoring by the National Security Agency violates civil liberties.

Defending the program, Bush said in his address that it is used only to intercept the international communications of people inside the United States who have been determined to have "a clear link" to al- Qaida or related terrorist organizations.

Ah... I see... and then.. why couldn't they get a search warrant? Isn't this exactly what the secret courts setup by the Partriot Act are for?

Republicans rant that Democrats will defend anything a Democrat leader does... just because it's a Democrat. Yet... here we have a blantant admission of rampant disregard for the law... but will Republicans condemn their own? No. They'll blame the Times. They'll talk about leaks. They'll talk about everything besides the fact that their president sees himself as all powerful. The man is insane. He doesn't care one wit about the constitution or anything else. He is blinded by power.

Damn him. Damn his supporters. Damn the Republicans. Damn the Democrats. Damn the Consititution Party and its bootlicking... Damn the Libertarians for their assinine wild-eyed pursuit of hedonism.

The government is out of control.

In the distance... some ways off still... is Go Time.

Bush just stomped on the accelerator. I suspect Hillary will actually be in power when we finally get there.

Say... Remember Burrito?

Our biologist buddy who stopped by to complain about my fondness for nuclear weapons and set us all straight on the glory of stem cell research?

Think this was one of those exciting things coming out of asia he was talking about?

Oops.

I guess Geologists aren't the only frauds out there eh?

Geology is Not a Science

Taken from the website of the University of Washington's Geology department:

Uniformitarianism: The principle that applies to geology our assumption that the laws of nature are constant. As originally used it meant that the processes operating to change the Earth in the present also operated in the past and at the same rate and intensity and produced changes similar to those we see today. The meaning has evolved and today the principle of uniformitarianism acknowledges that past processes, even if the same as today, may have operated at different rates and with different intensities than those of the present. The term "actualism" is sometimes used to designate this later meaning.

Taken from PhysicalGeology.net:

Uniformitarianism:Is a theory that rejects the idea that catastrophic forces were responsible for the current conditions on the Earth. The theory suggested instead, that continuing uniformity of existing processes were responsible for the present and past conditions of this planet.

Taken from Wikipedia.com:

Within scientific philosophy, uniformitarianism ("with a small u") refers to the principle that the same processes that shape the universe occurred in the past as they do now, and that the same laws of physics obtain in all parts of the knowable universe. This axiomatic principle, not often referred to as an "-ism" in modern discussions, is particularly relevant to geology and other sciences on a long timescale such as astronomy and paleontology.

So... It's a principle... its axiomatic... it's a theory... It's also the bloody sand the whole pathetic stack of cards is built on.

Science is method. Its a huge gargantuan machine that defies assumption. The scientific method is overkill in almost every daily situation... but it will find you the right answer... It will probably just take a long long time.

All of geology is based on this one assumption. And rememember... that's their word... not mine. Scientists do not assume. Scientists test. Scientist observe. Scientists record.

A man looks around at a stream and says... this stream is eroding away soil at a rate of 1 inch per year... therefore.. since the canyon the stream is in is 2 miles deep.. the stream has been here... digging away for seveal million years. This man is not a scientist. He's no differnt than a palm reader. He's making an observation.. then an assumption... then compounding it all with a wild guess.

That my friends is Geology. But lets take it a step further. PhysicalGeology.net calls Uniformitarianism a "theory". Ah.. well then.. let's look at their definition of the word:

Theory: Proposed explanation for the causal mechanisms responsible for a phenomenon or a set of facts.

In otherwords... it's a wild ass guess.

Guessing is the basis for Hypothesis. It is not the basis for an entire science. Science is based on law. It's based on what is known. It is not based on what someone thinks sounds reasonable.

Now... for anyone would seek to refute this.. please... stick to the points made. Perhaps start by naming another science that is based on assumption. I have made my case in pure scientific terms, so leave religion out of it.