Wednesday, April 14, 2004

Do What?

Astrosmith writes: I can't believe that it was only in recent years that fathers were allowed to be in the delivery room. I've been there all three times and it was great.

Let's be clear on this. The Delivery room ain't no place for a man. Nothing beautiful happens there. It's all pain and ugliness. Daddy's place is nervously pacing back and forth in the waiting room, smoking and sneaking the occasional nip from the flask his father wisely advised him to bring. Now look, I've been in there people. I've seen it. I love my wife, and my son more than life itself, and it doesn't mean I love them any less when I say that ain't no place for me. So boys listen up, you best be prepared.

Now for some reason modern women have decided that they need us, and if we don't subject ourselves to this, we don't love them. Never mind that if you talk to the old women about this stuff you'll hear things like, "I can't imagine why a woman would want her husband to see her like that." All husband's do is get in the way in there. They give the nurses someone else they have to worry about. You wouldn't believe how many dad's passout in that room. Hell I never would've made it if I hadn't had been sneakin' off to the bathroom to get a nip o' the good stuff.

I was in that place because my wife said she needed me. I did it once. That's my duty. If has a c-section, I'll go in there for that, otherwise... You'll find me pacin' and sippin' in the waiting room. Which is exactly where we all should be. The first time a man sees the child his wife bore for him, the wife and the child, should get the honor of being as presentable as possible. What ever happened to dignity?

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