Tuesday, April 13, 2004

I know somebody else who needs a drink

Kristy writes: I'm waiting for you to share the infamous Mark Bible story. I think others would appreciate it as well.

So be it. This one ain't for the kiddies people.

I attended a small state college in Tennessee. TTU to be specific. I lived the typical dorm life, with all the standard horrors for about two years. This is the tale of one such horror. Down the hall from me lived a kid, inappropriately named Mark Bible. Now Mark was a sick cat, one of those pasty, fat, pimple-faced dorks. I'm sure you've met people like him. Frequently strange sounds would be heard coming from his room, and one of my group of friends would be sent to investigate. On the night in question... The turn was mine.

So, I approach the room and find the door standing open and against my better judgement, I walked inside. Therein I find mark and his roomate, seated on lawnchairs watching porn. They were naked. Did you catch that? Naked. As in nude. Not clothed. On marks right side was a 6-pack of Zima, and clearly they were both hammered. I'm sitting here taking this terrible vision in, when Mark looks over at his roomate's lap and says, "Wo! Somebody's a little excited!"


He did it. He actually did it. Mark took his open palm, and smacked his roommate's semi-erect manhood. The boy fell from his chair and squalled like a girl. I was sick.

The tale would be bad enough if it ended here, but sadly it doesn't. After his horrible offense, Mark simply returned to his seat and resumed watching the porn. He took a sip of a Zima, and then it happened. He looked in his own lap, and said, "Ya know.. I think someone else needs a drink."

He then put his... his.... dick... inside the opening of the Zima, and tipped it up, as if his pecker were drinking. He then removed himself from the Zima, and finished it off.

I left. No one believed me. I doubt anyone believes me now.

1 comment:

daddynichol said...

After reading your comments over the past several years, I can hardly believe that you just stood there watching all of the "activity" and didn't at least pour gas on them and set them ablaze. Just for entertainment you understand.

I have to confess that if I had witnessed the event, any hint of "gay" would have evaporated instantly.