Wednesday, May 19, 2004

The Hazards of Fatherhood

The Big Brained Astrosmith comments: You know, we got caught up in these stories, and I forgot my comment about how I am dreading when my daughters get to this age. I can already tell that both my girls are going to be babes. I'm going to have to be well-armed by then to keep the boys out.

I've given this matter much thought. It's inevitable that I am going to have a daughter, since I aim to have an enormous family. Given that... I better have a plan on dealing with the boys coming around. Well... Here are the two plans so far:

Plan A: Arranged Marriage at age 14. I figure DrWho and I will pick out some nice boy who was raised right, and hitch'em up, thus avoiding this whole mess.

Plan B: If plan A, falls through... I figure... the average sentence for murder 1 is 20 years, and you usually serve 20% of your sentece. That means a lot of murderers are out in 4 years. That's nothing. So.. the first little boy that comes around... and I figger this will be sometime around the 8th grade... I'll kill him with a knife, and make sure to leave a mess all over the front porch. I don't think I'll have to worry about any more of the little bastards coming around... and hey... I'll be out in time for graduation.

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